“Aria am I what you want?”
“Ian I said yes to you”
“Yes you did and I want to know ARIA DO YOU LOVE ME?” he is looking at me with dark intent, he is furious. I’m scared and in shock, his dark eyes are scolding and cold, the question throws me for a loop and I utter
“Yes” almost a knee jerk reaction.
“Good because we are getting married next Saturday as scheduled!” he spits this out at me
Whoa! I’m afraid of his tone and yet I’m mad that he spied on me but wait…
“So that’s it?” he pushes back his tousled hair and looks at me
“Aria life is about choices and living with the consequences, after you kicked him out from your store what else am I to say he is gone right?”
“Yes”
“You know if you didn’t get rid of him I was going to leave you at the altar!” He is frightening in his tone and cautious in his words, and he has wicked intent who does he think he is?
“You would have done that?” now I am cocky and arrogant
“I will not be made a fool of by you and that piece of shit Aria! You had your little tryst or whatever the hell it was, it’s over and we can now move on with our life”
I’m shaking from fear, but really I don’t know how I feel about any of this. I am frightened by his tone, I don’t think he will hit me but I move back from him anyway it’s been a crazy night and getting even more out of hand by the minute.
“Aria this will soon be the past, we will marry next week as scheduled and build a life together! I am not happy with what you did, but I have a feeling you are probably not too happy with me right now either? And what I did by having you followed for the past six months. The only solace I found in all of this is you were tempted Aria, enticed by the past, you did not sought him out to cheat on me, you were seduced by that deceptive piece of shit” He seems to simmer down and calm a bit although his words are still dripping with fury.
“Ian why did you wait so long to contact me? I mean you knew where I was, Tristan didn’t until Friday” I am not yelling and I am trying to understand all of this he sighs and walks over to me and I step back. I’m frightened and I never really pushed Ian before and I don’t know how hard he can push back. He stops and there is an edgy quality to his frustrated face, his anger is still apparent but I sense it is dwindling. He closes his eyes to collect his thoughts, count to ten? I don’t know but with a strong grip on my arms he looks down at me as I am looking up into his dark eyes.
“I had to finish spring quarter” he says in a consolatory manor.
“So we didn’t meet at The West side Market by coincidence?”
“Yes we did, I had no idea you were there that day, just like I had no idea that you would sleep with another man after saying yes to me?” consolatory or not he is still mad.
“Are you going to hit me?” I feel like a child who’s going to be punished for my actions.
“No Aria I love you, but you test my will, I thought you were over him and moved past him, and to find out what has been going on yes if I were here I would …” and he puts his arms around me, pulling me to him, holding me close, hugging me, I reach up and I feel him trembling as I put my arms around him.
A chill runs through me, he really can be quite scary, I’ve never seen this side of Ian Bollinger before he is usually so calm, cool and collected this crazy mad man is another side of him entirely but sadly I have to admit it is me who has brought him to this angry state, my actions, my words and what I have done. We hold each other and calm down in each other’s arms he is hurt I am hurt and we start to relax as his grip on me lessens he looks down at me and puts his forehead to mine.
“Please don’t leave us Aria, I love you, I know I don’t deserve you but I want to make you happy” I don’t know what to say I don’t know what to feel.
Ian folds me into his arms and he walks me over to the couch, we sit down and he holds my hands and looks me in the eyes and he sighs.
“Aria, do you know how hard it was to watch what Tristan did to you?”
“Yes I know I was all over the place back then”
“Aria sweetheart I had no rights to stick my nose in any of it, you were out of control, reckless and I was powerless, you didn’t listen, you didn’t care and we were so worried for your sanity as well as your safety”
“Ian I always appreciated that you cared enough to catch me when I stumbled and comfort me when I was heading off the deep end”
“Yes but Aria what we all worried about was what would happen if we weren’t around and he went too far with you” he holds my chin in his hand and makes me look at him and I see his authoritative side where he scolds me and comforts me like the friend I have known forever.
“Ian I know you worry about me, my mom and my brothers and my friends and the girls, I love you all for it, but I have to make my own mistakes or I will never learn”
“Aria the mistakes you were heading for could have been life altering and very devastating over the course of you just knowing Bach, your life has been in danger and he had you so fooled it scared us all”
“Ian you and all my friends have been the best and I thank God for all of you really…”
“Aria sweetheart but what you failed to see what I failed to admit to you is I fell in love with you, I have been in love with you and when I came back to get you and saw what he did to my sweet little Aria I saw red, I still see red” I hug him and sigh a sigh of relief, I try to console him.
“Red is not your color Ian, I love you and I am grateful for always having you in my life”
He looks at me and runs his finger down my cheek as he whips my lips as if he is whipping him off of me
“Ian I never meant to hurt you?” we look at each other
“Aria by hurting yourself, you hurt me, back then there was no getting through to you. The women I see now, the Aria right here today is the one I have always known, you are a vibrant, smart, witty, young women with a hint of the girl I fell for in high school, when you were with Bach you were just a mess, out of control, a train wreck, no one was getting through to you”
“Ian, I have always been fond of you, I sometimes wish we would have gotten together after high school and then none of this would have happened”
“So you are blaming me for your involvement with Tristan Bach?” He is trying to hide his smile
“Well frankly yes! If you would have manned up let’s see, we’d have children by now that would be in their twenties, we’d have a life together and a lifetime of memories”
“Aria it took me a long time to get here with you” he is sincere and honest and I love him for that.
“It’s taken me a long time to get the courage to even be something to someone else” he pulls me into his arms as we sit cuddled up on the sofa and talk.
Ian goes on to tell me how he would be in an airport and he saw the ad for my store, he would try and forget about me but Business as Usual always showed up reminding him of me.
“I would talk to Christopher and of course Erika told me the store was yours, so now I am in Brussels and there is a huge poster of handmade suits shipped to you overnight” I smile as I hear him recall his encounter with the many ads we had splattered all over.
“And one time while going to get my luggage. I am in Spain, and oh look you are making custom ties, and it got to be that everything reminded me of you, airports, lobbies, there were posters even in bathrooms one of my students has a tie you made him with splatters of paint, he’s in some band or something”
“Well it’s nice to know that all those advertising dollars brought you to me!” he smiles at me and touches my chin
“I am in awe at what you have manifested for yourself Aria it is quite an accomplishment what you achieved, you are so talented Aria”
“Business as Usual”
“You really are a success Aria you went from the top of the corporate world to starting all over with something so profound you
have taken the world by storm”
“All in a day’s work”
He laughs at my nonchalant manor and we relax on the couch, me in his arms and he seems to calm as he holds me as I throw my legs over his lap. I sit and listen, wow I did not realize that I abused Ian the way Tristan abused me, that saddens me that I was that foolish to hurt someone and not even know it. I immediately think of Tristan and I know I hurt him tonight too.
Ian continues, with a memory of us in high school and how he was crazy about me even back then, but my family is strict catholic so he didn’t dare try to date me. When he got the nerve to tell me after all these years, he found me caught up in Tristan, and just walked away because I was out of control.
I just listened, he calmed and the Ian I know returned, I think we got to a better place this evening, a new place to build from.
Funny thing is I didn’t have any guilt about what I did. Gotta ask Erika about that. I mean usually the guilt eats you up that is why people cave, come clean, confess to these things, me I really do believe that if Tristan was game I would marry Ian and keep Tristan on the side. Jeez I need to smack myself for my attitude and my thoughts.
I look at Ian and sum up tonight’s events. Said fiancé has stalked me for six months! That hurts that he did that. Then he didn’t show up till a month ago? But the killer of this evening’s confession is because of how bad he behaved, I’m forgiven for my wedding affair with Tristan!
I’m not sure how I feel about all of this, on one hand I feel this whips the slate clean and he’ll LET ME TRY AGAIN, so we can start our marriage on an even keel.
On the other hand Tristan’s words haunt me
I’m his consolidation prize, he shows up moves in on me, he can sleep while his fiancée is out all night, I’m 38 when will we have children? Will he be a good father? Husband? The worst was Tristan knows he gets me hot and bothered not Ian…shit shit shit it is so in Tristan’s kiss oh God the man came just kissing me I will take that to my grave.
All of Tristan’s words putting doubt in my mind, ravenous prick that he is.
Ian and I agree no more sex till the wedding night. Considering the obvious I’m ok with it.
Wonder if he’s still having me followed? I don’t want to know…no… yes I do want to know!
“Are you still having me followed?”
“Are you still my Aria?”
“You didn’t answer my question!”
“Neither did you!”
He kisses my forehead “I will fire him tomorrow”
‘Very well”
“Are you still my Aria?”
“Your some piece of work?”
He laughs “touché”
“On that note shall we turn in?”
Ian stands and pulls me up into his arms he holds me and kisses the top of my head, I hug him and notice that he is not aroused in the least. Just making an observation jeez don’t you all get mad at me too?
We head up to bed, Ian kisses me good night he changes for bed and no sooner as his head hits the pillow he falls asleep immediately, I kiss his temple and cover him and he is gone from this world like that.
Me I have a more difficult time falling asleep I stare at the ceiling. I still don’t know how I feel about what transpired tonight, I guess I’m glad Ian is settled about it. I also feel like I should be mad at Ian? One thing is for sure, I guess I’m getting married next Saturday as scheduled. I thought I left the mergers and acquisitions world for men’s clothing, and here we are talking about our pending marriage as such. Oh and Tristan oh God that man he taunted me with his sexual antics so much when we first met it was all we ever talked about and now after giving into him I can see why women cheat, sex like that is too hard to walk away from, jeez I sound suggestive even to myself. The man came kissing me that is the biggest feather in any girls cap, that I can do that to Tristan and truth be told one more second in his arms I would have come as well. I just know my life with Ian is always going to be shadowed by what I gave up, it’s sad but true. It’s after two am, I can’t sleep and I want sex. I guess delayed gratification is the definition of maturity. Is this what they mean by a nice mature relationship? No drama, can’t sleep, and sexually frustrated?
Chapter 26
SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR ME
Friday June 22, 2012
Ian drives me into work this morning; I left my Cadillac here last night because of my vodka induced conversation last night. I feel like my old self again, Ian’s words do linger maybe because he is a college professor and his tone is authoritative? Or maybe I took good notes? I so want this marriage to work, I said yes for a reason and now I just have to remember what those reasons are...Hmm yes I am always easily distracted my biggest flaw in my character.
Well any who, to take count of my weeks behavior I have taken a lover, got rid of said lover, I still have a wonderful man who loves and adores me as I look up at him as he weaves in and out of traffic to get me to the store on time.
I also have the most wonderful bestest friends in the world who are taking me out this evening for one last night on the town as a single girl. I would say life is good.
I gave Oliver the day off today he worked so hard on the fashion show and all the preparation he put into that was quite a feat on his part, so he can enjoy a three day weekend and hopefully I will see him tonight for a drink with the girls. We pull up to the Ritz
“Thank you Ian see you tonight” I reach over and kiss him goodbye sweet peck on the lips.
“I love you Aria” Lawrence opens my door for me
“I love you too Ian” and I get out of the car.
“Thank you Lawrence” and Ian pulls off
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP
-------<>-------
Work this morning seems a steady pace… fast as usual, not as chaotic as yesterday but its Friday, men shop just as often and spend just as much as we women do, they are fussy with their shirts, they are finicky with their ties and they drive a hard bargain. My preferred customers are always a pleasure to see, I keep them looking great and they keep coming back, what can I say it’s Business as Usual.
I check my book and I do have a meeting with the ever challenging Mr. Waterford, this evening I am not dreading it because I can usually handle any customer, and just to be on the safe side I am dressed very professional in a gray pinstripe pants suit and white blouse, I look like the business professional, all my bits and pieces are covered and buttoned, no perfume and very little makeup it’s always a power trip with successful men, but it comes down to they put their pants on one legs at a time just like everyone else.
Its five pm and he is punctual and dressed to kill, charcoal gray suit, black shirt and gray tie, he kind of looks Magnum PI right down to the mustache, as I look at him I wonder if he is single handedly trying to bring back the stache from the 80’s?
I smile at him as he enters my empty store, shit wish I was not alone. I come from around the counter and meet him in the middle of the store with all his contracts and purchase orders in my hand.
“Hello there Mr. Waterford” we shake hands my shake is firm and I try to pull away but he holds my hand and is now caressing my elbow…shit, shit, shit.
“Don’t you look sexy” I let it go, let’s just get through this.
“Did you have any questions about the purchase orders that I faxed to your office?” I walk over to the conference table and he follows me.
“Please have a seat may I get you a drink?”
“Sure I’ll have a scotch neat” Ok I was hoping he would have gone for coffee, but scotch it is. I walk over to the bar and he follows me. He parks his six foot three hefty built frame on a bar stool and watches me closely.
“Here you go sir.” I serve him with a smile as I place his drink down on a cocktail napkin.
“Why don’t you join me in a drink?”
“Um I can’t I have dinner plans this evening”
“Oh really where are you going for dinner?”
&nb
sp; “Um we are having dinner in your casino tonight actually sir.”
“Really who is that?” He is now interested.
“My girlfriends and I are going out for one last night before my wedding.”
“Well as you have been very accommodating, please allow me to extend you the same courtesy”
“That will not be necessary but thank you for the offer, shall we go over the contracts?
“Miss Macy you are a tough nut to crack” I smile at him and I think he is harmless in his intentions but none the less I keep my distance and grab the contracts and return to the bar he signs, we shake and I am saved by the bell well five bell’s exactly as the girls all make it through the door.
“Aria are you ready to kiss your single day’s goodbye? OOPS sorry thought you were alone!”
Mr. Waterford gets a load of the five beautiful ladies that are my friends and he is elated.
“Mr. Waterford I would like you to meet some of my friends this is Erika, Sabrina, Cindy, Tiffany, and Autumn.”
“Hello there, sensational to meet you all, I hear you are having dinner in my casino this evening?”
“Yes Cindy pipes up immediately as she is interested in any man who is wearing an Omega watch.”
“Well please allow me to extend a hearty welcome, and be my guest for this evening”
The girls are all for it, me I am a bit apprehensive about all of this, I mean Cindy is giving him the come hither look but he is still eyeing me and I really can’t handle any more advances, looks, glances, from anymore men, jeez this week I have had my fair share of men to last me a lifetime.
“Yes we accept your invitation Mr. Waterford” Cindy and the girls are like come on lets party like V.I.P’s.
Who am I to argue with five women on a mission? I grab my bag I lock up the store and Mr. Waterford escorts us to the casino.
A Wedding Affair (The Wedding Affair) Page 34