“Go on. I’ll try to reserve judgment until the end.”
Adrian paused as the waitress set down the onion rings, then continued while Paul bit into one with a sigh of satisfaction.
“Held her hand more often when we were out together…dude.” He shook his head when Paul’s face once again reflected dismay. “This is you reserving judgment? It’s not like I became Mr. Sappy. It was subtle. But not too subtle.”
“Hmmm.” Paul took another bite of onion ring and just nodded, indicating he should continue.
“And the signs—I think I got under her skin with those.” He explained the signs, and Paul raised his eyebrows, nodded slowly, this time in seeming approval. “At her moms’ wedding, I think that’s when she really started freaking out. Emma made a joke that Agata approves of Nell and is waiting for us to tie the knot.”
“You laughed it off, right?”
“No,” Adrian said. “I said my mom has good taste.”
“I’m surprised Nell didn’t flee the scene right then and there,” commented Paul.
“What am I supposed to do?” Adrian blew out a breath. “I can’t pretend not to be in love with her for forever.”
“Go on. What happened next?”
“Nothing dramatic. I could tell it bothered her, but she carried on through the rest of the evening. At least, until it came time to go home, and then she said she wanted to head to her house on her own, because she was tired. Which, at the time, made sense because she’d been working on the wedding since early in the morning.”
“Nell doesn’t get tired.” Paul smiled wryly. “At least, she doesn’t use it as an excuse.”
“Since then it’s like she’s sliding away inch by inch, a little more each day. I’ve seen her once this whole week, and she wouldn’t spend the night. How am I supposed to seduce her into falling in love with me when she won’t spend time with me?” Adrian snagged an onion ring, bit into it, but the flavor barely registered on his tastebuds.
To spare his friend, he didn’t mention the previous night when he’d made love with Nell. Something about the way she’d watched him, dark eyes intent, as he’d slid in deep and rocked against her g-spot, the way her hands roamed over his body with light caresses—it was as if she was memorizing him. As if it was the last time.
“Hmmm.” Paul leaned back, tipped his head to gaze up at the ceiling.
Adrian let him think for a minute while he nursed his beer.
“So you think I shouldn’t have sent her flowers?”
“That type of thing will send her running for the hills. Too obvious.” Paul frowned. “The interesting thing is the fact that she’s not just breaking up with you flat out. That’s her typical MO. At the first sign of a guy wanting more than she’s willing to give, she cuts it off. Swift and merciless, but kind, because she doesn’t leave him hanging.”
Adrian considered this. “So, you think that’s a good sign.”
Paul shrugged. “Maybe. Thing is, dude, she probably is on her way to breaking up with you. Even if deep down, she cares about you or even loves you, there’s years of messed up relationships in the way.”
“What do I do?” Adrian felt like banging his head against the table. “I can’t let her just walk away.”
When Paul didn’t say anything, just looked at him, he shook his head.
“No way. I have to tell her how I feel, give her the chance to come around.”
“Yeah, you should tell her, but what I’m telling you is—she’ll walk away. And, you might need to let her. No one is changing Nell Stewart’s mind except Nell Stewart. My gut feeling is, she cares about you. But she needs to figure that out herself.”
Adrian felt all his carefully considered plans to talk Nell into falling in love with him slipping away. As much as he would have liked to believe otherwise, he knew in his heart Paul was right.
“Well, fuck,” he said finally. “Your advice sucks.”
Paul took out the $50 bill again and set it on the table. “I would also advise having another beer. I’m buying.”
Adrian considered this, then nodded.
“I’m going to tell her I love her,” he said. “Tomorrow.”
He sat back and decided to keep the beers coming. Because tomorrow was going to suck.
***
The next day, while he was boxing up the last of his pieces for his show and debating how to tell Nell his feelings, his phone pinged with a text. He checked it and saw Nell asking if she could stop by.
Just like that, he knew. This was the break up visit. Well, fuck that.
By the time she arrived, he’d worked himself up, despite the rational part of his brain reminding him he’d expected this. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes ringed by dark circles, and her mouth was tight. He advanced on her slowly and she must have seen something in his eyes, because she froze in the act of closing the door behind her, her eyes turning wary.
“Hi,” she started to say, but he closed in on her and put a hand on either side of her head, pressing against her body. He saw the desire in the flare of her nostrils, the slight intake of her breath, and that’s all it took for him to crush his mouth to hers.
Mine, was the thought that beat through his head as he took her mouth, sliding his tongue in to dominate the kiss. Her hands raised to his shoulders as if to push him away, but when he began grinding his erection into her with a slow, primal rhythm, her fingers tightened on his shirt and pulled him closer.
The thought of her walking away from this, from them, drove him to grab her hands and pull them over her head, pinning her in place while he tore his mouth away and bit her throat, her ragged moan spurring him on. This, she couldn’t deny. She couldn’t walk away from the fire that always flamed between them. When he moved on to her breasts, closed his teeth over one nipple through the thin fabric of her shirt and felt her hips buck against him, his control broke.
Bracketing her wrists with one hand, he pulled off her shirt, his mouth fastening on the thin lace of her bra, sucking hard on one nipple, then the other, as she cried out. Briefly, he let go of her to yank her pants and underwear down, unzipping his pants and pulling his cock free. When she started forward as if to touch him, he spun her around and arched her back against him while he rubbed his cock against her from behind, groaning at how wet she was already. He grabbed his wallet, thanking all the gods that he’d left it on the table by the door, and pulled out a condom, sheathed himself. He closed one hand over her breast, pulled her close so he could snake the other arm around and slide a finger inside her. Relentlessly, he slid his cock against her wet folds while fucking her with his finger, leaning forward to bite her neck again in the spot he knew she was particularly sensitive. She shuddered, and he tweaked her nipple, bit again until he felt her muscles contract around him in the beginnings of an orgasm.
Adrian withdrew his finger and immediately slid his cock inside her, keeping her orgasm going as she cried out his name. As she shuddered in the aftermath, he spun her around and drove into her deep and hard, holding onto her hips to anchor himself. Over and over, he slammed into her, increasing the pace until he was beyond all thought, until there was just her tight, wet center around him, her moans echoing in his ears.
He cupped the back of her head with his hand, pulled her forward until she was at eye level.
“You’re mine. Mine, Nell,” he panted, and when a shadow crossed her eyes, he thrust up to reach her g-spot, fucking her until her eyes glazed over with desire, her body trembling.
She orgasmed again with a scream just as he came, shouting, pounding into her until finally his own orgasm subsided, leaving him panting. When he slipped out of her, he felt empty.
He helped her straighten up, and she didn’t look at him as she pulled up her underwear and pants, buttoned her shirt. Adrian eyed her for a minute, then as she busied herself buttoning her shirt, he went into the kitchen to clean himself up. He handed her a bottle of water when he returned, and she took a long swig, then finally met his
eyes.
“What was that about?”
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, concerned by the uncertain tone in her voice.
She waved that off impatiently. “I like it rough, you know that. What you said…” She trailed off.
“Nell.” He waited for her to look at him, cursed himself. This certainly wasn’t how he’d pictured this moment. There was no romance in him fucking her like an animal right after she’d walked through the door. He grabbed her hand, drew her over to the living room couch. She sat down next to him, but reluctantly, poised on the edge like she was ready to flee at any moment. Adrian took a deep breath.
“I think I know why you’re here.” He held up a hand when she started to speak. “I need to say this to you first. Nell.” He paused, laid a hand on her cheek, looked into her eyes. “I love you.”
“No.” She wrenched her hand away, stood up, staring down at him in panic. “This isn’t what we agreed to. We walk away from this, no strings.”
“I’m not real thrilled about it at the moment myself,” he said dryly.
“You’re just confused. Like I was with Paul,” she argued.
He stood up, tipped her chin up so she looked into his eyes.
“I love how tenacious you are, your spine of steel. I love that you can walk away from a plane crash with joy. I love that you cry for your friends when they’re in trouble. I love your sense of adventure that’s married with a wide streak of practicality. I love the way you look when you’re sleeping, when the morning sun softens that strong face. Do I seem confused to you?” he asked softly.
Nell stared at him for a moment, a flash of regret flickering across her face. Then she took a breath and stepped back, away from his touch.
“Look, Adrian, it’s been fun. No doubt about that. But, what we have is, and always has been, just a fling. Like all flings, it’s run its course. Look at this house.” She spread her arm to encompass the living room and beyond. “Already babyproofed and waiting for a family. That’s not me.”
“Bullshit.” Adrian tried to keep his voice level but couldn’t keep a note of anger from creeping in.
“Excuse me?” Nell’s eyes flared, and she put her hands on her hips. “You’re telling me you don’t want a family? A wife? You told me so yourself when we first started this whole thing.”
“I do. And, so do you.”
Nell’s lips thinned. “I know what I want, and what I can give. It’s not this.”
“Why does what you want and what you can give have to be mutually exclusive?”
“You’re assuming I want you, that I feel the same,” she shot back. “Sorry to burst your bubble. It’s been fun. You’re a hell of a lover. That’s it.”
“Again, bullshit.” He crossed to her, grabbed her shoulders. Resisted the urge to shake her. “I know you feel something for me, Nell.”
“You’re confusing great sex with love,” she insisted, wrenching out of his grasp.
“Don’t let your dad keep messing with your head,” he retorted.
Her hands clenched at her sides. “I don’t need your armchair psychology. We’ve got chemistry. That’s it.”
“Nell—”
“Don’t. Just…don’t.” Nell took a deep breath, closed her eyes. When she opened them again, for one breath-stopping moment, Adrian could swear he saw her heart. Then her shields dropped again. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I had an amazing time. Thank you for that.”
She crossed to him, brushed her lips against his cheek, deftly avoided him when he would have pulled her closer.
“You deserve to test out those babyproofed cabinets on your own kids, to wake up with a wife that loves you. You’ll find her someday. It’s just not me.”
Nell walked to the door, paused with her hand on the knob to look back at him. His feet felt rooted to the floor, his tongue thick. He wanted to yell at her, to kiss her until she gave into the passion between them.
But, that wouldn’t hold her for long, not when she was so determined to leave. It took all his willpower, but Adrian remained where he was.
“I’ll keep my distance for a while, but it’s a small island. Maybe one day we can be friends again.”
Oh, fuck that.
“Nell. Goddammit.”
But as he started forward with long strides, she slipped out the door, closing it behind her with a firm click. He saw her run once she got outside, so that by the time he wrenched the door open, she had slid into her truck and started the engine with a roar. Adrian watched her drive off, and when he could no longer see her truck, he just stood there, staring blindly.
After what felt like an eternity, he blinked his eyes back into focus, the sounds of the water in the bay and the birds swooping above in the sky gradually coming back online. He turned and slowly made his way back into the house, his whole body aching. He paused in the entryway as images from just moments ago assaulted him, of Nell’s eyes locked on his as he thrust into her.
Out of nowhere, he remembered Bliss’s cryptic words several weeks ago: “Don’t give up on Nell.”
Too bad she’d given up on him.
Chapter 19
“Earth to Nell,” Hannah said, waving her hand in front of Nell’s face.
Nell blinked, jolted back to reality, realizing that both Hannah and Amy were watching her. “Sorry. What did you say?”
Around them, the cafe sat quiet, just a handful of customers spread out among the tables and comfy chairs. Most were out enjoying the late summer afternoon on the water or hiking in the park. Nell stirred her iced coffee, took a sip, and tried to concentrate.
“The invites are out for Amy’s baby shower,” Hannah repeated, still eying her closely. “We’ll host it here and close the cafe for an hour or two. Your job is to secure the booze and the decorations.”
“Right. On it.” Nell thanked her lucky stars that Zane had reminded her about this last week. “I’ll be picking up supplies in Seattle later this week, so I already added an extra few hours in my schedule to stop by the party store for decorations. I’ll get the mimosa fixings the day before the party.”
“Great.” Hannah checked off the item in her notebook, then closed it, leaned forward. “Now. Tell us what’s going on.”
Nell looked at her, then over at Amy, who sipped on a lemonade, resting her hand on her rounded belly.
“Wait a minute. We’re not really talking about Amy’s baby shower, are we?”
“Please.” Amy snorted. “I know you guys have it under control.”
“Damn straight.” Hannah patted her notebook. “It’s going to rock. No, we want to know why you’re staring off into space half the time when we get together.”
“And you look—well, I can’t say you look like crap, because you’re gorgeous. Which is really annoying, especially since my ankles have disappeared, and I have tree trunks for legs.” Amy pouted a bit, then sighed and put her feet up on the chair that Hannah swung over. “But, you do look less fabulous than usual.”
“No pithy mocking of tourists,” Hannah added. “I particularly miss that one.”
“Yeah. That’s a good one.” Amy nodded.
Nell sighed and surrendered to the inevitable. It had been three weeks, after all, so she supposed she was lucky to have kept it quiet this long.
“Adrian and I broke up.” She shrugged and rolled right over their identical gasps of shock. “It was just a fling, so I knew it was coming. I guess I’m just feeling blue about my lackluster sex life.”
Hannah and Amy exchanged looks.
“I’m not used to seeing guys after I dump them,” she added, filling the silence that was making her uncomfortable. “It’s just thrown me off my game. Probably when I go to Seattle this week, I should just stay the night. Hit the bars, pick up a new flavor of the month.”
The idea made her stomach clench, but she thought she did a pretty good job of selling her cool, casual attitude.
Maybe if she acted that way often enough, it would come true.
“Hold on.” Hannah held out one arm, palm extended in a “stop” gesture, while with her other arm, she waved back towards herself. “Beep, beep, beep, beep.”
Nell exchanged a glance with Amy, her lips twitching. They both burst out laughing. Hannah stopped and crossed her arms.
“What?”
“Is that your way of saying ‘back it up?’” Amy asked, grinning.
“You’re such a dork,” Nell said affectionately, feeling some of the weight slip off her shoulders.
“I can’t pull that off?” Hannah sighed with disappointment. “I saw it on TV once, or a movie, I can’t remember. It was funny when they did it.”
“Nice try.” Amy patted her arm. “So, Nell, I think what Hannah was trying to act out for you…”
Nell laughed as Hannah rolled her eyes.
“…is to say—what the hell?” Amy continued. “Since when did you guys break up?”
“And, you dumped him? What is wrong with you, girlfriend?”
“Why did you break up?”
“Please tell me it isn’t that Paul nonsense again.”
Nell heaved a big sigh. “For god’s sake. Thanks for being so sympathetic.”
“Well, really.” Hannah shook her head. “That whole thing was ridiculous. You aren’t in love with Paul.”
“But that doesn’t last, that’s the whole point.” Now it was Nell’s turn to shake her head. “How many married couples are still in love?”
“We are,” Amy said.
Nell waved her hand. “You don’t count. You’re still practically newlyweds.”
“We are,” said Hannah.
Nell considered this. Damn it.
“Yes, well, you’re the exception. What lasts is love, not the ‘in love’ nonsense.”
“So you left Adrian because he doesn’t love you?”
“No, I…” Nell trailed off. “I was talking about Paul.”
“Paul loves you?” Hannah asked, her voice rising. “Holy shit, is it a love triangle?”
Love in the Air: Lopez Island Series #2 Page 27