by Lee, Roz
“A few reasons,” he said, stepping carefully to avoid more explosive tears. “One, we haven’t spent much time talking, so my past relationships haven’t come up, nor have yours. Two, I thought I was protecting you by not telling you. I can see that was a mistake.” He inched closer, considered it a victory when she didn’t bolt.“And three, it’s in my past and has very little to do with my future. Our future.” He eyed the coffee pot, decided caffeine wasn’t a good idea this time of night, and opted for a water bottle from the fridge instead. “Four, my relationship with Megan wasn’t real. It was just sex, and not very honest sex at that. She was never what you are to me, and I was never myself with her. And last, but by no means least, she’s my sister-in-law. I love her like a sister, and I don’t go around telling people about our past relationship. Besides, Jeff can be touchy about the subject, though it was his idea in the first place.”
“Really?” she asked, her eyes wide with disbelief or curiosity. He wasn’t sure which.
“Honest to God truth.” He held up one hand, swearing an oath on it. “His idea. I never would have gone along with it if I’d known the two of them would fall in love. It’d never happened before—the falling in love part.”
“She said she wasn’t the first.”
He nodded. “That’s right. There were others. Mostly during our college days. We both felt a few girls up in high school, but we didn’t have a clue what we were doing.”
She smiled at that, which gave him a glimmer of hope, but the smile faded, and so did her questions. Her gaze dropped to her hands still wrapped around the coffee mug.
“What is it you want to know?” he asked.
She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. He braced for whatever she was working up the courage to ask. He’d asked her to be honest with him, and he was determined to give her the same consideration.
“This morning in front of the window…I was wondering…now that I know about your previous ménages, is that something you would do with me? I mean…do you want to share me with someone else?”
Jason drained half his water bottle in one swig, never taking his eyes off her. Did he want to share her?
“The truth? No. Not really. But I told you when we first began that I would push your boundaries, and I meant it. Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy the idea of being watched because I know you did. Your body doesn’t lie. Right now, I want you all to myself, but maybe in the future, if I think it would please you or please me, I would consider sharing your body with another man, or perhaps a woman. You’ve been with Todd and Brooke. Tell me about your experience with them.”
“It wasn’t much. Todd likes to tease Brooke, make her watch him get other women off. He never…I mean, it was always just touching, mostly. He’d bind us both then make us watch while he touched us. He used his fingers, and once he used a vibrator.”
“He never fucked you?”
“No!” She shook her head. “Never. It was all for Brooke’s benefit. It made her crazy to watch him touch me, but crazy in a good way if you know what I mean.”
“Yes, I know what you mean.” He finished off his water and tossed the empty bottle in the recycle bin under the sink. “Did you watch them fuck afterwards?”
“Yes. She likes having an audience.”
“I see,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “There’s something very primal about two men fucking a woman at the same time. Rest assured, I won’t be inviting another man into our bedroom anytime soon, but it is something I want you to think about. There are ways I can give you a taste of what it would be like, and you can always ask Megan. I don’t think I’d be lying to say she enjoyed it. Very much. I don’t think Jeff is ever going to let it happen again, but I don’t think he’d mind her talking about it with you. All I’m asking is that you keep an open mind.
“At some point in the future, I may bring another person, or persons to watch or participate in some way, but it would be nothing more than sex, physical gratification. It wouldn’t have anything to do with the way I feel about you, other than my desire to give you all the pleasure you can accept.”
“I see,” she nodded.
“Do you, Carrie? I need to know you trust me to see to your well-being. Yes, I’ll push you, but I’ll never push beyond your ability to accept. Yes, I’ll require things of you that you can’t even conceive of right now, but I’ll never force you to do anything you don’t want to do. You’ll always have a safe word, and I’ll always respect it. That doesn’t mean we won’t talk about your reason for using it, and perhaps try again based on that discussion.”
“I understand,” she said. “I guess I’m just scared. You’re asking me to take a big step, coming here.”
“You have no need to be frightened. I’m asking a lot, I know, but I want you in my home. More than that, I want this to be our home, a place where we can be ourselves. A place where nothing we mutually agree upon is wrong.”
“I want that, too.”
Jason inclined his head in the direction of her suitcase. “So, why didn’t you unpack like I told you to?”
“I was going to then I got to thinking about you and Megan, and there were the empty drawers. I wondered….”
“If you were just the next one to have a panty drawer at Jason Holder’s house?”
“Yes, I guess that’s what I was thinking.”
He pushed away from the counter. “Come on and bring your suitcase with you.”
Jason disappeared into the house. She slid off the barstool and followed like a robot, pulling her wheeled luggage behind her. She caught a glimpse of his back as he stepped inside the room at the end of the hallway—his bedroom.
He stood in the center, facing the door with his hands resting on his trim hips. Waiting. She stopped in the doorway, unsure whether to step inside or run for her life.
“Come here, Carrie.”
His voice was all the convincing her feet needed. She took a step forward, then another.
“There, was that so hard?” he asked when she stood before him like a wary child her first day at the orphanage.
She tightened her grip on her suitcase and shook her head.
“Tomorrow, go buy new furniture for this room. Especially a new mattress and linens. My only requirement is that the bed be either four-poster or otherwise have some way to attach restraints. While you’re at it, you can replace anything in the house that isn’t to your liking.” He stepped closer, taking her face between his palms, capturing her gaze with his. “To answer your question…yes, before you, there was a woman named Stacey. She ran for the hills at the mere suggestion that she might like for me to tie her to the bed and have my wicked way with her.”
“Were there others?”
His hands fell away from her face, and he stepped back. Carrie shivered. It was like he’d flipped a switch, leaving her cold and alone.
“No. I bought this house and everything in it after Megan, and before you. Stacey was a mistake in many ways, but her revulsion at what she called my perverse ways led me to you, and for that I can be nothing but grateful.”
She glanced at the king-sized four-poster bed holding court in the center of the room. “She left because you wanted to restrain her during sex?”
“That’s what she said. But in the interest of honesty, I think that was just the last straw. She wasn’t happy with the traveling I have to do, and she thought I had a woman in every city. She’s a physical therapist and works with professional athletes. She hears stories, some of which I’m sure are fabricated, and others I know aren’t. I never could convince her I didn’t sleep around.”
“Did she know about Megan?”
“Yes, she did.”
“How did you meet her?”
“Jeff injured his arm last season. She was his physical therapist.”
She eyed the bed again. “You changed the sheets?”
He laughed. “She’s been gone since before I met you, so yeah. I have a housekeeper who changes the s
heets twice a week.”
“Will you tie me to the bed and have your wicked way with me?”
“Yes, but not tonight.” He reached for her suitcase and headed for the door. “Tonight, you get your own bed. Tomorrow morning, I’ll tell you my whole, sordid life story, then you can go furniture shopping. If you want, you can come to the game tomorrow night.”
“But—”
“No.” He parked her suitcase at the foot of the bed and wrapped her in his arms. His body heat seeped into her bones, melting and molding them to fit perfectly against his hard frame. “It’s enough tonight that you’re here, that you waited for me so we could talk.”
She slipped her arms around his waist, drinking in his clean scent, the one that reminded her of the out-of-doors. “I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t.”
“Thank you for staying. It means a lot that we can talk about these things, work them out.”
She nodded. Her cheek rubbed against the soft fabric of his T-shirt. She tightened her hold on him, loving the feel of him in her arms. Here in his embrace, her fears seemed juvenile, and she was glad she waited for him to get home. “Sir?”
“More questions, angel?”
“Just one. Will you make love to me tonight?”
A chuckle rumbled through his chest, making her smile. His hands slid along her arms, pushing her away from him. “Is my angel horny?”
“Yes, Sir. Please?”
“Had you been waiting for me in the way I expected, you would have been well satisfied by now, but since you weren’t, I think not. You did disobey me, angel. You could have followed my orders and still voiced your concerns before I touched you. I’ll always listen to you. I know you don’t trust me enough to believe that yet, but you will. I’m a man of my word, angel.”
Carrie nodded.
“At the beginning, I told you there were consequences for disobeying me, did I not?”
“You did, Sir.”
“I respect your feelings regarding the previous women in my life, but I won’t allow them to come between us. Out of my respect, you can refurnish our bedroom, but that’s the end of my generosity. Tonight you’ll sleep alone.” With his hands on her shoulders, he turned her around to face the opposite direction. “That’s the bathroom straight ahead. Go get ready for bed, and when you’re ready, come back and wait for me to tuck you in. No clothes, angel. You’ll sleep naked from now on. I don’t want to fight clothes every time I want you.”
He gathered the things he needed from his bedroom then took his time undressing. He’d been hard since walking in the door to find Carrie in his kitchen, and it was damned tempting to take what she was offering. But rules were rules. The sooner she understood that, the sooner she would learn to trust his word.
He pulled on a pair of pajama pants that did nothing to hide his erection, but might convey the point she wasn’t going to get what she wanted tonight. Of course, he smiled at his thoughts, that didn’t mean he had to suffer through what was left of the night.
She was so fucking beautiful, she took his breath away. Kneeling on the floor, her hands behind her back to emphasize her perfect breasts, she was every bit an angel. He tossed the items he’d brought with him on the bed and stood before her. Fisting one hand in her hair, he jerked her head up. His other hand tunneled past his waistband to free his cock. Her mouth opened on a gasp.
“Perfect,” he said, filling her mouth with his cock. She was hot and wet, and damn if she didn’t set his cock on fire. He hissed through clenched teeth. “Mint mouthwash. Fuck, woman, that feels good. Hold still. I’m going to fuck your mouth.” He held her steady while he pulled out and thrust back in. “This. Is. For. Me.” He punctuated each word with a hard thrust that drove his cock to the back of her throat, savoring the spiced heat inside her mouth and the stinging bite when the mint hit the outside air.
He couldn’t look away. He loved watching his cock slip past her lips—loved the way her eyelashes fanned across her cheekbones when she lowered her eyes to watch, too. “God, I’ve needed you the whole fucking day.”
He needed to take the edge off before he forgot his own rules and fucked her good and hard. He’d never wanted a woman the way he wanted this one. He’d never get enough of her, even if he had her night and day for the rest of his life. Even now, using her for his pleasure, she swirled her tongue around his shaft, giving of herself. And if her sexy little moan was any indication, she was enjoying herself, too.
The orgasm shot like lightning down his spine to the small of his back where it exploded into a fireball no amount of willpower would stop. He reached for his cock, yanking it free of her mouth. The first wave of cum spewed forth, hitting her on the cheek. He pumped furiously, guiding the stream to splash against her neck and breasts.
His knees were weak, but he managed to help her to her feet, and after stripping the covers from the bed, positioned her on her back in the middle. She made no protest while he attached the restraints to the bed frame, adjusting them so her limbs had limited movement. When she was spread eagle, he stood beside the bed, admiring her.
“You’re lovely,” he said. “I can’t have you touching yourself tonight. Your orgasms are mine, angel. This is your punishment for disobeying me.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said.
“You should have enough movement to keep from getting a cramp. He leaned over to place a kiss, tasting himself on her lips. “I’ll check on you after a while.”
He turned off the light and went to his room, taking no satisfaction in denying her needs.
* * *
She slept in fits and starts. She had some room to move her arms, but not enough to touch herself, or even to roll over. He’d left her legs loose enough to bring her knees up, but getting comfortable was out of the question. And on top of it all, he hadn’t covered her and she was cold. Every time the air conditioner kicked on, which was every few minutes, her nipples tightened and shivers rippled over her skin. She stared at the bedside clock, counting the minutes and hours until Jason would return to release her.
She’d been through a dozen emotions since he exacted his punishment. First came resignation and submission. She’d done the crime, she’d do the time. When she realized he meant to leave her there all night, fear and anger took over. Those two heated her blood so she didn’t notice the cold so much—until the constant brush of chilled air caused her nipples to tighten and ache. That’s when the horniness she’d experienced most of the day came back with a vengeance.
Eventually, exhaustion took over and she drifted into a restless sleep. She’d dreamed of him before, but not like this—so real it stole the breath from her lungs. He came to her, releasing her ankles, massaging the skin where she’d pulled against the restraints. His hands were warm on her chilled flesh, molding her to his will. He kissed his way up her inner thighs. She moaned. Um…so good. So close to where she needed him.
“Please,” she begged, thrashing against the sheets. She dug her heels into the mattress, thrusting her hips up in desperate invitation.
He stilled her with one strong hand on her stomach then his mouth was on her, his lips kissing her swollen flesh. His tongue teased her opening, thrusting in and out. She’d never had a phantom lover who knew her so well. He lavished attention on her pussy, urging her toward to the edge. She was so close…close enough to see the promise of ecstasy beckoning to her.
“A little further,” her lover coaxed. “You can do it.”
His voice could seduce a saint to sin. “I’ve got you, angel. Spread your wings and fly.”
Carrie whimpered. So close, he thought. Damn, she was beautiful. Even in the darkened room he knew the color of passion on her skin, could see her holding on, craving the freedom he could give her, yet frightened to give up control and let him push her over the edge. No woman had ever tasted like this one, heaven and earth mingled into a tantalizingly fragrant elixir he needed in order to live.
He could stay here forever with his face buried in her sweet spot, b
ut his angel was hurting. He knew the feeling. All she needed was one tiny push, and she’d take the freefall. Precious moments plunging headlong into the abyss, facing death only to find her wings at the last moment and soar on the currents of ecstasy.
“Time to fly, angel,” he said, sucking her clit into his mouth.
She held on with every muscle in her body. She strained against the woven restraints, and they creaked against the bed frame. Trust me, angel. He flicked his tongue over the tight bundle of nerves then gently clamped it between his teeth and tugged.
He sucked on her clit. She took the fall, hurtling into the dark abyss of pleasure, her body clenching and writhing. You’re safe with me, angel. Holding her hips secure, he provided the ballast she needed to unfurl her wings. I’ve got you.
She gasped, giving up the struggle. She couldn’t hang on any longer. The promise was too bright, too enticing.
“Time to fly, angel,” he said.
Trust me. She felt the words, rather than heard them, and somehow she knew trusting him was the right thing to do. This phantom lover promised pleasure beyond anything she could comprehend, if only she would trust him.
Pain, sharp and unexpected sent her hurtling into space. She rode a cloud of pleasure, safe in her phantom lover’s care.
“Wake up, angel.” Jason rolled on a condom, and moved over her, fitting his cock to her pussy. “Let’s fly together this time.”
Her eyelids fluttered open. He stared into her doe eyes, loving the moment she realized this was real. Reaching for her wrists, he released one then the other. “Do you come in your sleep often?”
Her face flushed scarlet. “No. Oh God, Master….”
“Shh. It’s all right. Who were you dreaming about, angel?”
“You, Sir. I needed you so bad.”
He nudged her core. She gasped then widened her legs in invitation.
“I needed you, too, angel. I couldn’t wait another minute to have you.”
He filled her with one sure thrust, going deep, loving the way they fit together perfectly. Braced on one forearm, he angled over her so he could fondle her breasts. He teased the nipples to hard buds then bent to suckle, matching each pull and tug to the tempo of his thrusts.