by LK Collins
“It makes sense, but I guess I just can’t really relate. I’ve never lost anyone besides my sister and the mental blow that took on me was on a whole different level. I mean, she left the world by her own doing. I guess if I’d been through some of the things that you have, then I would feel the same as you and protect myself.”
“So I’m not crazy after all?”
“No, you’re not. You’ve been through so much and I admire your strength. I can’t say you don’t confuse me, but I’ll take that mixed with everything else if it means I can do this,” he says kissing my lips.
I exhale then respond as we pull away. “I don’t want to confuse you, Bain. That’s the last thing I want to do.”
“I know. I guess I shouldn’t be. You’ve made your rules clear.”
“Thank you. Listen, it’s getting late. I’m gonna go, but I’ll be back.”
“And I’ll be waiting for you to fulfill that promise.”
I smack his chest and he places his hand in the spot I just hit, pretending that I just hurt him.
-Bain-
“Yes, Mom, if you really want me to, I will.”
“Thank you, dear.”
“Of course. Take care of yourself.”
“You too. I love you, Bain.”
“Love you too,” I tell her and hang up. I’m not sure if Arion heard any of my conversation, but my mom only gets to call once a week and I promised her I’d answer. I know with my dad being away on business, it’s unlikely she’ll get through to him.
Arion comes into the kitchen, where I’m leaning against the granite countertop and asks, “How is she?”
“She sounds good. It’s strange to hear her voice so clear.”
“She’s sober, it’ll change a person.”
“It certainly will,” I respond.
“Well, she’s lucky to have you as her son,” she says running her index finger down the middle of my chest. Her touch, and that expression, have my dick tingling.
Arion didn’t get here too long ago. It was just as I finally fell into a deep sleep. Last night was hard for me – I thought a lot about Kinsey, my mind was racing about what she went through and I couldn’t put it to rest.
She leans in and kisses behind my ear, my breathing calms at the contact of her soft lips. Then my stomach rumbles and she pulls away, staring at me with a smirk on her face.
“Food, then sex?” she asks.
“Works for me, what do you want me to cook?”
“I’ll cook, you watch.”
I’m happy to oblige and watch her search through the kitchen. Sitting back, she bends over looking in the fridge, pulling out item after item. Her ass is perfect, so plump in her tight pants. It’s what caused me to lose it at her work that day when I ran into her.
“What are you making?” I ask.
“It’s a surprise.”
“Mmh, okay. Do you have to work today?”
“Nope, I’m off ‘til Monday.
“Do you want to do something today?”
“Yeah, cook you breakfast, then fuck you.”
I can’t stop myself from laughing out loud. “After that.”
“Bain,” she says my name a bit annoyed.
I know where this is going.
“Don’t even say anything about your rules, Arion. I know where we stand. Let’s get out for a bit. There’s supposed to be a nasty storm rolling through in the next few days. Let’s get out and enjoy it before then.”
“I’ll think about it,” she says cracking an egg on the side of a glass bowl, then warms up a pan on the stove.
Her resistance to me now makes me wonder how we can fuck the way we do, then she can be so cold at the same time and act like she doesn’t even want to hang out together. If she really doesn’t want any feelings, why isn’t it just sex and then she leaves? I mean, she’s the one who came back so early today when I fucked her good yesterday, so I know there’s something else there. I decide to change the subject; it’ll be easier than pushing her buttons, plus I’m exhausted and on edge.
My phone rings while I watch Arion cook, it’s my dad calling. I decline the call, he’ll leave a message; he always does. “You can get that,” Arion says.
“Nah, it’s just my dad.”
She’s extremely talented in the kitchen, so much more than I am. It doesn’t take but a few minutes ‘til she sets two heaping plates of French toast on the bar, one for each of us. Jesus, I love her appetite.
After we finish breakfast, I clear our plates and she cleans up the island. Looking over at her body pressed against the granite of the countertop, I lose it. I pin her against it, pressing my already hard cock into her backside.
She turns in my hold and I claim her mouth, pulling her pants down in the process. She does the same to me, removing my shorts, gripping my cock as we kiss. Our mouths tangle and I can’t wait to fuck her.
Lifting her up, I don’t waste any time sinking inside of her. The walls of her pussy are heaven. She throws her head back bracing her weight on the countertop. I love the sight of her uncovered breasts, taking them in my hands, squeezing the hard mounds, watching confidence beam out of her as we fuck. She’s perfect.
My cock pulsates. I’m so hard inside of her, loving how eager she is as she helps me, working her hips against mine.
“Harder, Bain,” she murmurs, in between soft noises. I give her what she wants and move her legs at the same time running them up my chest so they rest on either side of my head.
“You want it harder?” I ask, stopping completely with my cock buried all the way inside of her.
“Yes,” she shouts. Before I move, I open one of the drawers and pull out the first thing my hand touches – a wooden spoon.
Listening right away, I pick up speed, allowing her cunt to take me out of this world and simultaneously smack the side of one of her ass cheeks with the spoon.
“Fuckkkkkk, yes,” she shouts and I hit her again, then move to the other side and then her breasts. I’ve never done anything like this, but the way it turns her on makes me extremely excited.
“You like this, don’t you?” I question breathlessly.
“Mmmmhhhhh,” she moans.
Taking a fistful of her hair, I control her and take us both away from the pain and the agony that is reality. With my cock moving in and out of her, it feels so right. All that’s left in the pain’s place is pleasure; it surges to the tip of my dick.
In this moment while inside Arion, I find the pleasure I’ve been searching for with pills. A high that will mask all of my pain. And she has given that to me. I don’t know how, but she’s so unexpectedly and so quickly has become a drug to me. Although the pleasure we share can’t last forever, I’ll take it any way I can get it right now. I know with her fears, she’ll end things sooner rather than later, so I indulge while I can.
With my hands secured tightly around her hips, I fuck her fiercely, giving her all of my ten inches. She doesn’t complain, she just takes me, moaning, “Fuck me, Bain.” Over and over.
Finally, I have to slow; I can’t keep going at this speed. She’s about to make me lose it as she clenches her cunt around me and I’m not ready. With slow movements, I spread her pussy, watching my cock move in and out of her.
“Christ, you’re beautiful,” I murmur.
She doesn’t respond with words. However, she does with cries of passion, throwing her head back as she lets her orgasm take over. These actions push me right there with her and we come together. I grunt like an animal as I pump myself bit by bit inside of her. Slowly, I ease my way out of her amazing cunt and she sits up off the granite countertop. I look down at her as she kneels in front of me, then swirls her tongue over the head of my cock. Watching her lick off both of our arousals is such a fucking turn on.
After we dress, I convince her to leave the house with me. I have some shit to do for my mom and I don’t want to do it alone. Arion can sense that and I’m grateful. Regardless of the sex, I’m lucky to have her as
a friend. It helps to have her next to me in the car. I enjoy her company and how she keeps my mind off of all the bad shit in this world.
“Are you sure you’re okay with me doing this with you?” she asks hesitantly. I nod my head and feel bad that this is the first time we get to venture out during the day, and we have to do something like this.
Reaching over, I rest my hand on her thigh. Her generosity is really too much. She didn’t need to come; in fact, I don’t even know why she did with her fears and all, then she asks if I’m okay with it. Deep down, I’m thankful, I don’t know if I could do this alone. My mom asked me to take pictures of the house and the area where Kinsey chose to take her life. I myself have mixed feelings about doing it, but my mom, on the other hand, believes it will help her recovery and the counselors at the rehab center also agree. So if this will help her, then I’ll do it, even if I’m uncertain.
“How are you feeling about doing this?” she asks.
“I really just wanna get it done with.”
“If it’s easier, I can take the pictures for you,” she offers reaching down and intertwining our hands.
Glancing down for a brief moment, I stare at our hands, the gesture catching me off guard. “It’s okay, we’ll do it together,” I respond and squeeze her fingers.
For the rest of the ride, we sit in silence. Our hands rest comfortably on my lap and I thank God Arion came with me. Anxiety fills my body, thinking about what we’re about to do. Finally we pull up to the house. It looks just like I remember and is still for sale. I’ve been here once, and it took everything I had, just to drive by, so I know getting out and walking around is going to be hard. Looking at the house as I put the car in park, I try to make sense of why it happened here. I’m baffled.
“Is this it?” she asks.
“Uh-huh.”
“Why did she come here?”
“I wonder the same thing every day. Other than the fact that it’s vacant, I have no idea.”
“Jesus, Bain, I can’t imagine what she must’ve gone through in her mind.”
“Me neither.” Her words give me a flash of Kinsey and I envision her pulling into the garage after breaking into the house. Using the new garden hose she’d just purchased and…I can’t go there.
“Ready?” she asks.
“I guess.” She opens her door and I take a deep breath then do the same. I flip the hood up on my hoodie and hop out of the car. Arion is at my side before I can look and see where she is.
“Wanna take one from here of the front of the house?” she asks.
I take out my cell phone and snap the picture, getting the full view of the entire house. Just move fast. It’s tall and modern with dark wood wrapped around it. We proceed to walk around. The garage is opposite us and I don’t think I can bring myself to go all the way around or to take any pictures of it.
I continue snapping pictures as quick as I can, neither of us saying a word, just completing the task that we came here to do. We make fast work of the job and suddenly without warning we move around to the garage – I freeze. “What?” she asks.
“I…I don’t think…”
“It’s fine, I understand. Do you want me to finish?” she asks.
“Sure, just take whatever else you think, I’ll be in the car.” I respond, walking away with my head hung low. I feel bad for leaving her, but my breathing is heavy and in that moment, my world spirals out of control. I know I’ve seen it before, but for some reason, today, standing in front of that garage, it hits me hard. This is where she killed herself. That is the place where she took her last breath. Once I’m sitting in my car, I rest my head back and close my eyes.
Small breaths are a struggle, but I push them out. I have to. I do my best to stay calm. I don’t want to freak out in front of Arion. In that moment, the only thing I know to do is to pop a few pills, but I don’t want to in front of her, so I seize the opportunity while I’m alone, opening my console and grabbing a few Xanax, relishing in the flavor on my tongue.
Arion gets in and gives me a slight smile, then holds my hand. I can’t sit here in front of this house for another second.
-Kinsey-
“Jesus, I can’t wait for you to be home,” I tell Bain as I leave school and drive back to the house.
“I know. I miss being there, too. Especially mom’s cooking and just being able to relax.”
“You don’t get a lot of that anymore, do you?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m about to join the NBA, Kins; things here are insane. Every game is flooded with NBA scouts and reporters. Our coach pushes us to play every game like it’s our last.”
“Well, I know all the hard work is going to pay off. I can’t wait to see you get drafted and to come to all your games. You know I’m going to be your number one fan.”
“I know and I’m grateful for your support. Listen, I don’t have long before practice, but I wanted to call you after I got your text. What’s up?”
“Well, I wanted to get Mom a really nice gift, but I’m confused about what she’d like. I mean, what do you buy the woman who has everything?”
“Did you ask Dad?”
I can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, he said ‘ask your brother.’”
“Of course he did. What about a weekend getaway for the two of them, like to Napa or something?”
“That’s a great idea! Mom’s always saying how she misses California. Maybe she could visit Aunt Patti when she’s there, too?” I tell Bain.
“It sounds like a great idea to me. Why don’t you look into booking it and let me know if you want to bounce any more ideas around? I gotta run though, we have practice.”
I hang up with my brother, just before telling him about my date with Anthony tonight. I don’t know what I was thinking. Bain’s so protective over me; he would never understand why I am going out with a teacher. Pulling up to the house, my dad is in the garage.
I head towards him rather than going inside. “Hey, kid,” he says, with a smile from ear to ear.
“Hey, Dad. What are you doing?”
“Just cleaning out the car before I head out of town.”
“Where are you going?”
“Philly.”
“Nice, at least you can drive.”
“That’s the truth.”
“Where’s mom?”
“She went to have drinks with some of the girls.”
“Oh good. So I just talked to Bain about what to get her and he gave me the best idea ever. You still have her birthday week off of work right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I can’t tell you, silly. This is for both of you guys.”
“Kinsey, you know I hate surprises,” he says in a firm tone.
“As do I and you always make me deal with them.” I walk off with my dad begging for more details, but I ignore him.
-Arion-
“So you’re dating him,” Aubrey accuses me.
“Hell no. Why would you even say that?”
“I don’t know, maybe because you haven’t been home much this past week.”
I glare at her. “Aubrey, I was gone for the weekend. That’s far from a week. We’ve just chilled together.”
“Well, it sure as hell feels like there’s more going on here.”
I get off the couch to refill my water bottle, honestly wanting to ignore her. “You can deny all you want, but let me ask you this. Why’s this guy so different? I haven’t seen you act like this since Nate.”
“He’s no different than Brady or anyone else. But he’s been through some really fucked up shit, so I’ve been trying to be there for him, and in the process he’s turned out to be a really good friend.”
“You just met him.”
“What’s that matter?”
“Is he your friend or do you fuck?”
“Seriously, Aubrey, what’s your fucking problem? Yeah, we fuck, you know that’s how I am. He’s also a friend. Is that a bad thing?”
She shakes her hea
d, “No, it’s not, I’m just worried about you and trying to figure out why he’s got your head so twisted.”
“Dude, I appreciate your concern, but…” I trail off and decide to head out for a run rather than start an argument with her. She’s only trying to understand things. Plus, I feel Nate pulling me to our spot. Maybe if I go there, I’ll get some answers on how to handle all of this. I know arguing with Aubrey isn’t going to help anything.
I appreciate her concern, I really do, but I need to figure out what’s inside my own head, myself.
“I’m gonna go for a run. Can we talk later?”
“Of course. I don’t want you to be mad at me. I just care about you.”
“I know and I appreciate that. I’ll be back soon.” I give her a hug, then head into my room, putting on a tight pair of black leggings, a hoodie, and my running shoes. Aubrey’s not in the living room when I leave, so I grab my cell phone and bolt. The air is crisp and the sky is gray. It looks like we might get some rain today. I know running in this weather will burn my lungs, but it’ll also take the pain away. We live just a few blocks from the beach and within a few minutes, the pavement beneath my feet changes to sand. I make my way down towards the water, the familiar sound soothing me. The waves are light, but still crash against the shore. My legs pick up speed, taking me on the long journey to my final destination – my spot with Nate. The place where he asked me to marry him, we never had that dream come true as he was deployed quicker than we expected.
For some reason, it’s hard to clear my mind today. Normally a good run is just what I need, but instead, all I hear are Bain and Aubrey’s voices swirling in my head. So you’re dating him? Christ, you’re beautiful.
I don’t even know how to comprehend these two statements. They have my mind on a tilt and spinning in a way I’ve never experienced. Then automatically, all my stress washes away the moment my phone rings and I see it’s Bain calling. For some reason, he has that effect on me. I inhale deeply, trying to calm my breathing, but it’s useless. Breathlessly, I answer, “Hey you.”