Christmas at Bay Tree Cottage

by Linn B. Halton

  It’s nearly one o’clock and you would expect a restaurant as up-market as this to be buzzing. Instead, it’s empty, which serves only to emphasise the elegant wood panelling and stripped oak floorboards. Miniature chandeliers grace the ceiling, showering little prisms of light in gentle cascades onto the tables beneath them.

  Aside from the waiter walking ahead of us, we are the only ones here. I glance at Seth, who simply smiles and nods, indicating that we should continue walking.

  Another two waiters, similarly dressed, appear to seat us at our table. It’s towards the back of the restaurant and a large area around it has been cleared. The pristine white linen tablecloth, the sparkling crystal glassware and silver cutlery gleam with a lavish attention to detail. Maya looks entranced.

  The waiters stand ready to assist us into our chairs, pulling them out at precisely the same moment in a well-practised drill. We take our seats in unison; Maya’s eyes are like saucers, the sheer elegance of the setting captivating her attention.

  Maya starts laughing. ‘This is amazing, Seth. Are we the only ones having lunch here today?’

  I look at Seth quizzically.

  ‘Yes, they’ve opened up especially for us. There’s another surprise to come and I’m going to have to ask your lovely mum to indulge me. Elana, what do think?’

  I frown. ‘It rather depends on what I’m indulging.’ I try to keep a serious face and Maya looks at me expectantly.

  ‘It’s a surprise Mum, you can’t be cross. And it would be ungrateful to say no to a surprise.’

  I pretend to give it some thought, and then nod my head, wondering what on earth Seth has planned.

  Two of the waiters walk to the back wall of the restaurant, where a large white cloth is draped over something the size of a small table. Seth nods his head and they whisk away the cloth. Standing there is a full-size keyboard on a stand, with a matching stool.

  Maya squeals, taking me back to when she was very small and being cool wasn’t even in her vocabulary.

  ‘Am I forgiven, Elana?’ Seth asks.

  ‘Mum, you have to say yes. Just say yes.’ Maya is already half out of her seat.

  ‘Yes.’

  She jumps up, almost toppling her chair. Rushing up to Seth, Maya throws her arms around him for a brief second, then runs towards the keyboard.

  I give him a look of exasperation.

  ‘It’s not even Christmas!’ But I also can’t hide the grateful smile as I take in Maya’s excitement. Already her fingers are sliding over the keys, softly playing one of her favourite Christmas tunes.

  ‘Seth, it’s too much. You really are so kind, I don’t know quite what to say. No one has ever done anything like this for Maya, before. It’s overwhelming.’

  I reach out and touch his hand.

  ‘It’s nothing, Elana. She enjoys her little keyboard and I’m all for encouraging musical talent. It’s time she stepped it up a little. She plays beautifully.’

  I sit back, watching my daughter in this atmospheric and surreal setting, which feels truly magical. Seth is right, Elana is a natural when she sits in front of a keyboard.

  ‘Niall was in a band when he was at school; he played bass guitar and keyboard. It’s something I’ve never spoken about to Maya, but that’s where her musical interests come from – definitely not from me.’

  Niall would be so proud and here I am, sharing a special moment with Seth. Suddenly my stomach turns over and when I look back at Seth he has a small box in his hand.

  ‘I wanted to make this day special for you both. For the most part, the world isn’t a bad place to be, but at times it can be a rather sad place. Loneliness can make that feel like solitary confinement and that’s a real shame, because it can also be a place where miracles really can happen.’ He places the box on the table in front of me and all I can do is sit here, knowing that this time it’s going to break his heart.

  ‘Seth, we’ve been over this and you said you understood; that being friends would be enough and reassuring me that you knew it could never work between us. I love you like the dear friend you have become, but a heart requires more than that.’

  He sits forward, taking my hand in his.

  ‘I know what I said, but I lied. I’ve never given up hope that I’d grow on you. Oh, I knew it was a long shot and that twenty years is a big age difference. But I want to take care of you and Maya. It makes me happy.’

  I’m sitting here, facing Seth, with a lump in my throat. I don’t want to hurt this wonderful man and yet my senses are still tingling from the memory of seeing Luke and Joe. My heart had leapt with joy when I saw them and saying goodbye left me feeling bereft.

  ‘Oh Seth, you deserve so much more than that. You are a passionate man and you deserve to have that returned in equal measure. Age is nothing, I’ve come to realise. It’s about what’s in here.’ I place my hand on my heart and I can see the hope that shone in his eyes a few moments ago begin to fade.

  ‘I knew the moment that I saw you look at Luke what your answer was going to be. But I had to try one last time, Elana. I couldn’t help myself. If there was even the slightest glimmer of hope that you would come to look at me as more than just a friend, it was a risk worth taking. I hope Luke realises the mistake he’s made.’

  My face feels like a mask.

  ‘You didn’t tell him how you feel about him, did you?’

  I hang my head. ‘There’s nothing to tell.’

  Seth curls my fingers tenderly within his hand.

  ‘Then you are fooling yourself, Elana. Life wants you to be happy; there’s nothing to fear in reaching out for it. You told me he was too young for you and yet moments ago you said that you’ve come to realise that age is nothing. If you were in love with me, as you are with Luke, then I know you would be saying yes to me now. I love you enough to let you go, but it has to be for a very good reason. Put your indecision and fear behind you now. It’s time, Elana.’

  I lean forward and kiss his cheek, knowing that the only way I can help Seth is to encourage him to move on. I hope what I’ve given him is a little self-belief in the fact that he’s a man who deserves to be loved, in every sense of the word.

  Chapter 55

  Luke

  Being a Professional

  I knew Elana would eventually pick up the pieces of her life, but seeing her and Maya with that Seth guy was a shock. It threw me and I have no idea what I said to her, because all I could think was ‘well, it was always going to happen, so don’t pretend to be shocked’. Besides, I’m not a part of her life and it’s been almost a year since I’ve seen her.

  When Chris stepped back in, offering to whisk Anita away to a foreign climate and a better lifestyle than she had over here, as torn as she was to leave Joe behind, she couldn’t say no. Chris makes her happy. I made no attempt at all to dissuade her, but I was also very careful not to encourage her in any way. It had to be her decision. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Everything.

  And so life settled down into a new routine. Shortly afterwards, Dad was in and out of hospital with heart problems and ended up having triple bypass surgery. He’s on the mend now and doing well, but it meant that virtually overnight I was in charge and having to run the company single-handedly. Mum was back and forth to the hospital and in between times ferrying Joe to and from nursery. I took on an older woman with secretarial experience to answer the phone, handle the general admin work and act as my assistant. In fact, Janice virtually runs the office now, leaving me to sort out the business side of things and organise the guys.

  A tap on the door almost makes me jump, I was so deep in thought. Greg’s head appears in view sporting his usual, lop-sided grin.

  ‘Just to let you know that it looks like we’ll be finished a day early on this job. Leeson’s delivered the outstanding items on Friday. So we’ll wrap it up today, barring anything unforeseen occurring.’

  I look at him and blink, trying hard to shut off my thoughts and concentrate on his word
s. He steps inside, shutting the door behind him.

  ‘Are you alright? You look confused.’

  I nod, indicating for him to take a seat.

  ‘I bumped into Elana James, yesterday, at the outdoor skating rink.’

  ‘Mate, I thought all of that was behind you?’

  ‘It was … I mean, it is.’

  He looks at me in exasperation.

  ‘You know, Luke, you don’t make things easy for yourself, do you? I know the only reason you stopped dating Lisa was because of how you felt about Elana. That was madness, mate, as – nice as she is – you admitted she’d virtually rejected you. Lisa is still moping about, hoping you’ll change your mind. Cheryl says it’s a waste that you’re on your own. I mean, I know guys who would fight to be in the position you’re in. Cheryl says you’re a catch … not that I can see it, of course.’ He starts laughing, but I know that he’s concerned and wanting to lighten the moment. Greg doesn’t do heavy emotion and he has this uncanny ability to float through life seemingly with ease. Fortunately, Cheryl is a good woman and exactly what he needs.

  I groan inwardly. After Anita left I was raw emotionally, but all of my attention was focused on Joe and getting things set up so he had a routine. With Mum’s help things were soon running smoothly. When Greg dragged me out for a drink, several months later, and Lisa suddenly reappeared, I knew his intentions were well meant. I just wished he hadn’t done it. Yes, we had a few dates, but my heart wasn’t in it. On the face of it, it should have worked between us, but the chemistry just wasn’t there for me. She wasn’t Elana and that was that. Then work took over and with being a single parent my life was pretty much full. I disciplined myself not to think of Elana, and not to wonder ‘what if?’ What was the point?

  ‘Do yourself a favour, Luke, and phone her. I have no idea what was said yesterday, but I can tell that it isn’t over for you, for whatever reason. Yesterday just stirred it all up, once again. Talk to her and tell her how you feel and maybe when she rejects you this time around it will finally sink in.’

  There’s another tap on the door and Janice pops her head around.

  ‘I have a Mrs James on line one, wanting a quote for some replacement windows.’ Janice looks at Greg, who looks at me.

  ‘Time I left you to it, I think. Good luck, boss.’ He gives Janice a little salute on his way out and she giggles.

  ‘You can put Mrs James through, Janice. Thank you.’

  As soon as the door is shut my palms start sweating. I wipe them on my jeans and when the phone buzzes, I pick up the receiver, taking a deep breath to steady my voice.

  ‘Elana, how can I help?’

  ‘Morning, Luke. I should have mentioned it to you yesterday. I’m ready to go ahead with the replacement windows and wondered if you could pop round to measure up and give me a quote? I’d ideally like the work done in early spring, if that’s possible.’

  ‘We’re working about four months in advance at the moment, so I think that’s do-able. When is it convenient for me to call in?’

  My heart is pounding, almost drowning out her reply.

  ‘I’m here all day today and tomorrow. After that I have to go up to London for a meeting. So, the sooner the better, but anytime you can fit me in will be fine.’

  Greg is right, it’s time I finally put an end to this little fantasy I can’t keep from creeping into my head. Maybe then I can move on.

  ‘I’ll pop around later this morning once the guys have all checked in.’

  ‘See you later, then. Thanks, Luke.’

  As I put the phone down I slink forward, letting my head bang down on the desk out of sheer desperation. Am I just really, really stupid, or is there something wrong with me? Dad would have relished the idea of going out to do a quote to help out and I could have avoided this encounter with relative ease. Elana needs her windows replaced; she’s not doing this because she wants to see me. If that was the case she would have said something yesterday – suggested a coffee on neutral territory, or something.

  Besides, Seth is perfect for her. The irony of the fact that he’s a good couple of decades older than her isn’t lost on me. But it’s not the same the other way around, is it? I could instantly see that he’s very protective of both Elana and Maya, which showed in his body language and the way he moved things along. He was curious about me, I saw that, but quickly appraised the situation as merely one of a matter of exchanging a few pleasantries.

  You’re a fool, Luke, and you know it. Get yourself to Bay Tree Cottage and see for yourself that there’s nothing at all to read into this. It’s another job, that’s all. Maybe assign it to Ted, rather than Greg. Elana prefers not to be interrupted when she’s working and Ted isn’t a talker, that’s for sure.

  Chapter 56

  Luke

  A Walking, Living, Breathing Disaster

  Standing in front of Bay Tree Cottage transports me back. I half expect to see Eve and Amelie walking up the drive. A lot has changed in the last year, but Bay Tree Cottage looks almost exactly the same. I can see that the outside has now been tidied up and Elana has done a lot of replanting. It looks welcoming and inviting. Just like Elana. You’re an idiot, Luke. You keep telling yourself that you have moved on. Now you are a business man, turning a good profit and keeping a dozen men employed, but it doesn’t mean anything, does it? You are also a single dad who is raising a young son, albeit with the help of his own parents, but you’re doing a good job. It’s time to be the professional you are, exude confidence and get the customer to sign on the dotted line. What are you scared of? You know Ted will do a good job and you’ll have one more happy customer to add to the list. End of story.

  The door opens and suddenly she’s there in front of me, once more gesturing me inside her home. ‘Luke, thanks so much for coming.’

  Every single thought I had when I was standing outside is dead in the water. Elana, I want to pick you up and tell the world you’re mine.

  ‘Hi, Elana. My, you’ve made a few changes in here.’ As I slip off my shoes and step through into the dining-room section of the open-plan area, it’s radically different. For one thing, there’s no office area.

  Elana follows my gaze.

  ‘I work from the third bedroom, now. It’s cosier and means the dining room feels much more special. Eating in the kitchen was always a little cramped.’

  All of the furniture is new; nothing original remains. The floor still looks as if it’s just been laid.

  ‘Well, all credit to you, it doesn’t look like the same cottage.’

  It’s obvious Seth enjoys the finer things in life. This is a dining room befitting those special occasions; perfect for entertaining people over a lavish dinner.

  Standing here holding my briefcase, as if I’m a stranger, a random salesman on a routine visit, hits me hard. Is this what I needed to kill all hope? A sense of total disconnect as reality dawns?

  ‘Shall I leave you to it?’ Elana asks, already turning away from me and talking over her shoulder. ‘I’ll put the kettle on. When you’re done come through to the dining room and we can discuss the options over coffee.’

  She’s cool, calm and collected. My nerves are jangling like wind chimes on a windy day and I head off upstairs to make a start. It takes a lot longer than normal as my mind keeps wandering and I have to keep re-measuring to make sure I don’t make a mistake. The last room to do is the sitting room and Elana doesn’t even look up as I walk past her, she has her head in a book.

  The moment I enter the room I see it. The little music box with the bay tree on top is sitting in the centre of the mantelpiece above the fire. It’s the only item on the shelf and because of the connection it seems to dominate the room. So it’s a nice little piece, she’s hardly going to hide it away in the cupboard just because I gave it to her. If it sparked any emotion in her at all, then she would have put it away – out of sight, out of mind.

  I finish measuring up and settle myself down on the sofa to work out the various
costs, depending on the type of finish Elana selects. It’s easier to do that in here, unwatched, where I feel calmer and less under pressure. Incredibly, the windows have held up very well, but once the new ones are in this cottage will feel complete. Baby Girl jumps up on the sofa, to settle down next to me and I stop to smooth her beautiful fur. It’s hard to believe how much she’s grown. She purrs contentedly, trusting that this stranger is no threat. She’s almost unrecognisable from the tiny little kitten, mewing in the corner of the utility that day, as Maya approached her in awe.

  Reluctantly, I gather everything up and walk back into the dining area, standing awkwardly in front of Elana. She has already placed a second mug on the table, in the seat across from her.

  ‘Take a seat, Luke. White, one sugar. You see, I remember.’

  Her hand scoops back the wayward curls that have fallen down over her left eyebrow and suddenly a year just melts away. So much has happened in the interim and yet my feelings haven’t diminished at all.

  ‘Thanks. Um … right. I’ve priced each window and door separately, in case you want to do it in a couple of hits.’ I slide the quotation form across the table, tilting it so I can run my finger down the columns. ‘In this box you’ll see a total cost, this is for hardwood and this is for uPVC. If you want anything other than the standard white finish there will be a surcharge.’

  When I finish speaking I look up at her and I can see she’s staring at me and not the figures.

  ‘Is that all you have to say? I’ve been sitting here for the best part of an hour, waiting, and that’s it?’

  I swallow hard. I skipped the presentation, thinking she wanted to get straight to the cost and now she thinks I’m a rank amateur. I dive into my briefcase, pulling out a glossy window brochure.