by Emily L K
When she entered the same hallway as Rowan she strode towards him, now having to convince herself of her own anger. But Rowan’s was still very real. His lips curled into a snarl when he saw her and the two Hiram women who had been gossiping in the hallway fled when they saw his face.
They stopped before each other, only a foot apart. Rowan caught hold of her upper arm and squeezed. But he didn’t say anything. Instead Cori saw a flicker in his eyes when they met hers. She almost laughed.
“You’re afraid of me,” she mocked, wrenching her arm from his grasp. His eyes tightened but still he said nothing. He caught hold of her arm again and thrust her towards a window.
Even through the transparency of her reflection she could see what disturbed him. Moving, like blood through veins, from her pupils to the outer edge of her iris, was the liquid gold that marked the Dijem.
“Go to the kitchens,” Rowan said, his voice constricted. “Stay there until I come for you. Keep your head down and don’t talk to anyone. Do it, Cori,” he added when she opened her mouth to protest. He gave her a little shove in the direction she’d just come from.
She stalked away from him without looking back. It was hard to hold on to her anger now with so many other emotions whirling inside her. Was she turning into a Dijem already?
She made it to the kitchens without seeing anyone and went straight to the bedroom she had once shared with her mother and sister, slipping past everyone at work. The room seemed tiny now, and she wondered how the three of them had ever fit in that bed together.
She closed the door and moved to the dresser that held the washbasin with a mirror hung on the wall above it. She placed her hands on the dresser to steady the shake in them and inspected at herself.
Her eyes were streaked with gold but it hadn’t completely devoured the blue. The mixed colours made a striking contrast and Cori had trouble fixing her gaze in one place on herself in the mirror.
A shout from the kitchens drew her attention momentarily, but she didn’t move from where she stood. Her anger flared again as she thought back over the past half hour and of Quart, that filthy, deceiving piece of scum. An unwanted image floated into her mind of Quart holding a girl in his arms, hazel eyed and golden skinned like him. They smiled at each other, in love.
A stab of rejection hit her and she slammed a fist against the mirror. It shattered into pieces and she stepped away from it, breathing heavily. She gave her hand a shake and blood splattered on the floor. She was lifting it to inspect the cut when another shout sounded from the kitchen, this time in panic. There was a deafening crash and, cut forgotten, Cori raced for the door.
The kitchen was a turmoil of struggling bodies, upended benches and scattered pots and pans. Cori froze in horror at the door, taking in the sight of Dlores gutting a man with a bread knife, a Hiram woman flinging Tarp across a bench top with a mere swipe of her arm and Dahl swinging his serving tray at another man and woman who had him cornered. Cori searched frantically for her family and spotted them at the far end of the room near her mother’s workbench. She started towards them.
Saasha was pinned beneath a large man, a Nomad Islander noble judging by the colour of his skin and the loose cut of his clothes. As Cori struggled towards them, Bel ran to her eldest daughter with a meat cleaver in hand. She swung it at the man with a savage yell and buried it in the back of his skull. The man slumped, the fight gone out of him. With a disgusted cry, Saasha pushed the body away from her.
“Give us Cori and this madness will stop!” A man bellowed from the doorway of the kitchen, his hands on his hips.
“No!” Bel screeched, turning on him with her bloody cleaver. Heart in her throat, Cori broke into a run, jumping an overturned table and shoving a Hiram woman from behind to get to her mother. But she was too slow.
The man lifted both his hands towards Bel and made a twisting motion in the air. Bel stopped and the cleaver clattered to the floor, her head twisted to the left and her neck snapped. She fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes, her dark eyes open and staring at nothing.
“NO!” Saasha screamed. Cori echoed her. She reached within herself, trying to find her Hum, trying to find her Hiram magic, finding... something. She flung her arm at the man who had just killed her mother and he flew away from her, shattering against the wall with a force that made the stone crack and fall away in chunks. He slid to the floor, blood gushing from his ears, mouth and eyes. But Cori had already forgotten him. She reached her mother and fell to her knees beside her.
“No, no, no,” Saasha was moaning, shaking Bel by her shoulders, “no, please no.”
Cori stared, her mind not believing what her eyes were seeing. She reached out with shaking fingers to take her mother’s wrist. She was still warm, but there was no pulse.
“Mama,” Cori sobbed, taking a handful of Bel’s shirt and shaking it, the way Saasha was still shaking her shoulders. A scream nearby warned them and they ducked as a wok sailed over their heads. Saasha looked up and met Cori’s eye. Her own teary eyes widened.
“Cori, what’s happened to you?”
Cori didn’t get a chance to answer. A hand fell on her shoulder, pulling her away. For a split second she struggled until she recognised the Hum trying to reach her through the horror that clouded her mind, then she fell limp.
“Cori, we have to go,” Rowan said urgently, his voice reaching her through the chaos of the fight around them. Cori didn’t answer. She caught hold of Bel’s shirt again and pressed her face to her mother’s abdomen. Another sob escaped her. She heard Saasha’s voice, frantic, “Where are you taking her?”
“Away, somewhere safe. Saasha you need to run. Take anyone you can with you. Go to Shaw, Bretton will help you.”
Rowan pulled at her again, more forcefully this time, and almost got her to her feet. She groaned and resisted.
“Cori, please,” he was almost begging. A shout came from their left, a flash of Rowan’s Hum and a body hitting the floor. This time he wrenched Cori up. She swung to face him, hitting him in the chest with her fist.
“Stop it, stop!” She cried and Rowan caught hold of her wrists, holding her prone. For a second she met his eyes, wide with apprehension.
“Cori, go with him,” Saasha said, she caught Cori in a hug and kissed her. “I love you,” she whispered fiercely then turned away and ran towards the door, calling to Annie and Dahl as she did.
“We’ll divert their attention, come on.”
Cori let Rowan drag her towards the other door, the one that led back into the palace. Hiram were swarming everywhere, filling hallways and ransacking rooms. They passed some servants and Rowan told them to get away from the palace. He led Cori to the throne room.
The hall was full of people yelling, calling to each other and some even brandishing weapons. Rowan pushed through them, dragging Cori behind. They had almost made it to the middle of the room when people began to notice them.
“Enough, Karalis!” Someone yelled. “Surrender and we’ll let the heir live!”
“The Advisor is coming, give her to us and she won’t be hurt!” Someone demanded from their other side, a woman.
Rowan stopped, unable to go on as they clamoured at him, demanding that he hand Cori over, that he surrender himself to them. She could feel hands grabbing at her and she gripped Rowan’s fingers, suddenly afraid.
“Did you forget,” Rowan said through gritted teeth, though his voice carried to those closest to them, “to kneel for your Karalis?”
Cori had only a second’s warning before he unleashed his Hum.
Every Hiram in the hall staggered to their knees as Rowan’s song caught their minds and immobilised them. Cori stumbled forward, unable to completely block the spell from her own mind, but Rowan tugged her upright and urged her towards the arches that led to the garden.
They wove through the Hiram, Cori averting her eyes studiously from theirs. Their blank stares only made the image of her mother’s death replay in her mind. She wanted to go
back to the kitchen, to find her mother, to have her comfort her, to wipe the waking nightmares away with a smile and a hug.
Cori stumbled over the lip of the archway and onto the grass. Without looking back, Rowan entwined his fingers through hers and pulled her on. It was only then that she noticed the canvas travel pack and sheathed sword clutched in his other hand. She glanced up to find he was leading her towards the stables. She dug in her heels and stopped.
Unprepared for her abrupt halt, Rowan staggered at the end of their reach and swung back towards her, his eyes wide.
“What are you doing?” He gasped. “We have to go, I can’t hold them down for long.”
“I can’t go,” she whispered, “my mother -“
“Is dead, Cori, you can’t do anything.”
Cori felt like Bel’s meat cleaver had been wedged in her chest. She dropped Rowan’s hand and took a step back.
“Cori -“
“I won’t leave. You can’t make me.”
She had thought their Hums to be on par but she was dreadfully wrong. She flung out her hand and tried to push him away, the way she had her mother’s killer. She tried to draw energy for a blast of Hum the way he had, but she might as well have been drawing water in a desert for all the good it did her.
He had slipped into her mind in an instant. Cori felt pain shoot through her body as he forced her to her knees. Her chest constricted, forcing the air from her lungs. The worst part was that she knew she was doing this to herself, that it was her own mind working against her body.
She lifted her eyes to Rowan’s and with her last breath she uttered, “kneel for your Karalis.”
Chapter Eighteen
When consciousness returned to her she couldn’t move, not even to open her eyes. She was pressed against something warm and had one arm wrapped around it. The smell of horse filled her nostrils, mixed with the rich tang of turned soil. The beast between her legs walked with a swaying gait that made her stomach churn.
After a time she was able to force one eye open, then the other.
She was facing to the left; her view partly obscured by the man’s back she was pressed against. They were riding through the countryside, the surrounding fields alternating between ripe wheat and newly tilled ground. For a time she stared at the swaying stalks, mesmerised by their calming movement. But slowly the memories seeped back in, starting with the snap of her mother’s neck. She was paralysed there on the back of the horse behind Rowan, reliving the horrors over and over. But finally mobility returned to her.
“You prick!” She gasped, yanking her arm away.
Rowan hadn’t been holding her as tight as she’d thought. The horse skittered sideways at her sudden outburst and she slid down its flanks, landing hard on her back. The air whooshed from her lungs and she lay there, unable to move.
Rowan made a shushing noise to calm the tall chestnut and turned his head so they both faced Cori. Rowan’s expression was wary, as if he expected her to jump up and run. She would do nothing of the sort, but not for lack of wanting. She knew if she ran he would chase her and he had proven, time and time again, that he was faster and stronger than she.
She instead settled for glaring at him. He sat bareback on the horse as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The travel pack and his sword were in his lap and she wondered how he’d been controlling the horse when he’d been holding her upright too. When he judged that she wouldn’t run, he dismounted and dropped his burden near the horse’s hooves. The chestnut stretched out his neck to pick the top off a wheat stalk. Cori sat up.
“You prick,” she said again. She pushed herself to her feet and faced him squarely. Her legs felt like water and her head throbbed but she was determined to meet him head on. “Who do you think you are to take me away from my family? You separate me from my sister when I should be helping her and my mother -,” she choked. “My mother, we just left her there, broken on the floor. D-dead. They’ll all be dead, just like her, because we abandoned them!”
“They all die, Cori.” Rowan’s voice was steady and his expression guarded. “Everybody dies. Over and over. Forever and ever.”
Cori felt a strange hollowing at his words. She knew, when he had first told her she was Dijem, that she would be long lived, but this was the first time the impacts of forever had really hit her. And it wasn’t something she wanted to contemplate right now.
“That’s easy for you to say,” she snarled. “You stand there all righteous and uncaring and tell me that everyone will die. Everyone I love, Saasha, Tarp, Dahl, will die so there‘s no point in helping them live. And how would you know, you heartless bastard? You push everyone away with your asshole Karalis demeanour. You’re cold and miserable and you’ve probably never loved anyone in your life!”
“That’s not true,” he said vehemently. His face, passive throughout her tirade, suddenly contorted with anger and his hands formed fists at his sides. “I love you.”
Silence hung between them. He hadn’t meant to say it. Not here, not now, not like this. Cori couldn’t think. It was all too much. She started to turn away then changed her mind.
“How long?” She asked, though she knew the answer already. Every look he’d given her, every playful nudge and protective gesture. Even the apparent concern he’d shown for her when she was with Quart was nothing more than jealousy. Oh, she’d been blind.
He shrugged helplessly, and she saw him for what he really was; not the Karalis of Tauta or a powerful Dijem, but a man who didn’t know what to do with the situation he found himself in. Just a man.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She cried. “Why couldn’t you just say something and save me from...”
She faltered. Save her from what? If he’d told her earlier would it have changed anything? Would she have loved him back?
Another question she couldn’t answer.
“I would have waited.” His voice was soft, pleading. His eyes were wide in their hopelessness and his palms upturned in surrender.
Cori didn’t know what he meant, and she didn’t want to delve into it. She pushed the thought onto the pile of things she didn’t want to contemplate right now but it was all too much. It started with a tickle in her throat and an ache in her stomach. She tried to swallow but her mouth was dry and her breathing became tight. Hot tears filled her eyes and she pressed a shaking hand over her mouth to stifle the first sob. Rowan took a step towards her.
“Don’t touch me!” She screamed and sank to the ground, her legs finally giving way. The tears fell in heavy droplets to the dirt and the sobs wracked her body. Rowan didn’t move for a moment, then he swore, kicked at something and walked away, leaving her kneeling on the road beside the untethered horse.
SHE DIDN’T KNOW HOW much time had passed before Rowan returned. She’d been sitting on the road, knees drawn to her chest, watching the horse graze on the tufts of green grass shooting up between the wagon tracks. A numbness had settled over her and she embraced it wholly.
She heard Rowan before she saw him. He wasn’t moving fast but his stride was purposeful. When he stopped in front of her, she took a moment to raise her eyes to his face. His expression had that guarded look again. Different from his blank Karalis face; this one she now knew he used to hide his thoughts from her.
“We need to go,” he told her, though he didn’t hold out a hand to help her up, “there are people following us.”
She got to her feet with a great show of lethargy. Rowan gave her a leg up to the chestnut’s back then mounted behind her. He placed the pack and sword before her and wrapped an arm loosely around her waist. Cori couldn’t summon the energy to care. She would go where he willed and would do what he wished. At a clucked command the chestnut continued up the road, his ears pricked and his head high.
“Where are we going.” Cori asked after a while though the words lacked the inflection required to make it a question.
“North,” Rowan replied, his voice equally vacant, “to find Cadmus and
kill him.”
Cori turned her eyes to the fields and let her mind get lost in the swaying stalks of wheat.
THE WHEAT FARMS GAVE way to rolling green hills dotted with black and white dairy heifers. Those farms then transformed into rugged terrain where rangy shrubs and brown coated meat bullocks were in equal abundance. Three nights had passed and Cori was still ensconced in her numbness. It was a warm embrace that held the pain at bay and she was reluctant to let it go, though she knew she soon must.
They rode in silence and each night when they stopped to sleep they did so without speaking. Cori’s entire body ached from being astride the horse all day and each night she fell into an exhausted sleep, blessedly free of dreams. It was on the fourth day they came across the first sign of civilisation since they’d left Lautan.
To call it a town was an overstatement. It was a cluster of four or five buildings, one that was distinctly a pub. They circled around to the low hills behind the town, staying off the main roads as they had every day. Rowan reined in the chestnut under a copse of trees. He dismounted and took the bundle from Cori so she could dismount too. She hit the ground heavily and staggered a step but Rowan was already pressing the reins into her hand.
“Stay here,” he told her, the first words he’d spoken since their argument. Cori curled her fingers around the leather and sat down, ignoring her protesting muscles and the raw chaffing between her legs. Rowan dropped the sword in the grass beside her and shouldered the pack. Without another word or a backward glance, he strode off in the direction of the town.
Cori must have dozed because when the horse nickered softly she opened her eyes to see Rowan coming back up the hill. She expected that he would tell her to mount up so they could continue on their way but he came and knelt before her, undoing the top of the pack as he did.