As my eyes stared into his, I saw the hope and desperation that were in his. He wanted this, he really wanted this, he wanted me. How in God's name could I turn away from that? I couldn't. So I did the only thing I knew to do. Tell him what I was feeling.
“I'm scared,” I whispered.
“Of what, baby? Tell me and let me fix whatever is making you scared.”
“You can't fix it. It's something only I can fix.”
He groaned and his eyes took on a sad defeated look.
“I can't fucking lose you, Ava. Not now.”
I reached up and cupped his face with my right hand, “I wasn't looking for this, but the moment I saw you, I felt like I was home. You took me higher than I've ever been last night, and it fucking scared me. Because all at once I was feeling more for you than I have felt for anyone, ever. I loved Brian with all my heart, but I never felt like this with him.
“If something ever happened to you, I'm not sure I'd ever be able to breathe again. Then I started asking myself how I could feel like this after just a few hours, told myself I was crazy, but that didn't seem to matter.
“It's like I was a ship that had been lost at sea for so long that I was floundering and then when I saw your face it's like you were the beacon of light that would lead me home. Then this morning, oh god, the jealous green-eyed bitch took a hold of me when I heard you were interviewing girls.
“Thoughts started swirling around like mad about what you might possibly be doing with them, next it hit me in the face that you had probably been with the girls I was talking to. All of that collided together and threw me for a fucking loop. I didn't know which way was up or down.
“Even though I heard what you said to me in the pantry, my mind struggled with it. You've lived this life for so long, you've been able to choose whoever you wanted to be with each night. You weren't tied to one woman, so why would you want to be tied to just me?
“I know this sounds stupid and illogical, but I was so fucking jealous of the thought of you with any of those girls that I thought it was gonna kill me. How the fuck does a person feel this much in such a short amount of time? Can I even trust these feelings? It's not even been a day, Dog. How can I want you so much?”
“I don't know, baby. But I do know I feel the same way.”
“For now, the only thing I can tell you is that I'll try with everything in me to quell the jealousy. I'm not gonna lie, it's gonna take me time, so give me a chance to reconcile with it.”
“Babe, I've told you I won't be with them anymore. But I can't do anything about who I've been with already.”
“I know that, Dog, but if that was a room full of men down there, and they were there to solely please the women and I had been with some of them, how would you feel?”
I watched as a stunned look crossed his face.
“Jesus. Fuck. I would want to kill the motherfuckers,” he growled.
“Now you see my dilemma. You've got to give me time, and I can't promise you won't see the green-eyed bitch take over at times.”
“Okay, babe, I get where you're coming from. As long as you're giving us a chance, then we can fucking work through anything. And I'll do everything in my power to soothe those fears.”
“Dog, just a warning. If one of them touches you wrong, I'll cut a bitch. You got me?”
He laughed a little, “Yeah, babe. I got you.”
“I'm so mentally fucking tired, will you just hold me tonight?”
“I'll do any fucking thing you want, and I'll do every damn thing in my power to make sure you're always happy.”
I leaned forward and put my forehead against his and whispered, “Please don't give up on me, because if you did it would destroy me.”
~*~
Mad Dog
I simply held Ava until she fell asleep, then all that she said to me raced like the winds of a storm through my mind. Clair had been right about her being jealous, and I'll admit a part of me hadn’t understood that. But when she asked me how I would feel if the shoes were reversed, I fucking thought I would lose it. I would seriously want to kill any man for having been with her.
So I realized that I would have to do everything in my power to help put those fears to rest. Clair had given me some good advice and I planned to take it. Because imagining a life without Ava in it hurt like a motherfucker. I had just found the light again, I wasn't ready to lose it. Fuck, I couldn't lose it again, because I had to agree with Ava, if I lost her, it would fucking destroy me.
~***~
Chapter 12
Heroes don’t have the need to be known as heroes, they just do what heroes do because it is right and must be done.
~Shannon A. Thompson~
Mad Dog
May 31st, 1998
I woke up to find Ava gone, fear hit my gut that she might have decided she just couldn't take it after all and had left. I sat up on the side of the bed and groaned. My fucking heart hurt thinking she might have decided to do that, but there was only one way to know for sure and that was get up, get ready for my day, then go look for her. If for some reason she had left, I couldn't go after her. I had already said all there was to say. This was all in her hands now.
After my morning routine, I dressed, grabbed my phone and made my way out into the hall. I knocked on her door, but there was no answer. I opened it to see if her things were in there but didn't see any sign of them. I sighed as I made my way downstairs, I fucking hoped with all that was inside me that she was around here somewhere. If not, then things might get a little dark for me. As I made my way through the Great Room, I saw that it was empty. But when I entered the dining area, fucking Brothers were everywhere.
Christ. Was that homemade biscuits and gravy? My mouth fucking started to water. The smell of bacon hit me then and my stomach growled loudly causing some of the men to laugh. I walked into the kitchen to see Clair, Mel, and Fawn working at the island. I glanced around and didn't see Ava at all. My damn stomach instantly tied into knots. I walked over to the coffee pot and poured me a cup. As I was turning around, I heard the most sweetest fucking sound I'd ever heard.
“Hey, Mel? Where did you say that creamer is? Because I'm not seeing it in here,” Ava said as she stuck her head around the pantry door.
Relief slammed into me like a sledgehammer had hit me in the chest. Her gaze caught mine as she saw me move. She smiled and it lit up my damn world, then she sashayed over to me, swinging her hips as she came. When she reached me, she took my cup out of my hand, sat it on the counter, put her hands up around my neck, pulled me down to her then pressed her lips against mine. She eased her tongue inside my mouth and started thrusting her tongue against mine, teasing my tongue into reciprocating. Without a thought to who was in the room, I grabbed her ass, pulled her tight to me and fucking made love to her mouth.
I moaned and thrust my hips against hers. My cock was begging for freedom. He knew what awaited him and he fucking wanted it now. A whistle pierced the room just as Ava lifted her head from mine. She reached up, wiped the moisture off my lips, stepped back a little, ran her hand up my hard as steel cock to the waistband of my jeans, slid her fingers down under my boxers until the tips found my dick and spread the precum that had already started leaking out of the mushroom shaped head.
She then pulled her fingers out of my pants, stuck two of them into her mouth and sucked on them slowly as she pulled them out of her mouth. She licked her lips, smiled naughtily at me, and fuck me, she then turned around and damned if she didn't sashay right back toward the pantry, her hips swinging back and forth the entire way there. My eyes stayed locked on her ass until the door closed behind her.
I groaned loudly. Jesus. Fuck. How was I supposed to have any rational thoughts left in my brain when all my blood was down south, ruling that fucking brain? At this moment, all I knew was that my damn cock wanted Ava’s mouth on him in a bad way.
“Holy shit! That was fucking hot as hell,” Mel commented as she fanned herself with her hand.
I reached down and adjusted my cock, trying to find some measure of relief because I was seriously hurting. I swear my rod had ached more in the past two days than in my whole life.
“Fuck, Brother. Think y'all two need to go get a room,” Viper said as he sent a smirk my way.
He was right about that and, at this point, I really wasn't too damn picky about what room it might be either. Fuck, I could just tell everyone to clear the damn kitchen.
As blood returned to the head on my shoulders, it suddenly struck me that I had never called Reb back last night. I groaned again. Fuck. That damn woman tended to make me lose my fucking mind. I mentally shook myself hard. I had shit I needed to concentrate on and deal with.
“Vip, have you heard from Reb today?”
“Nah, Dog. He's probably still asleep.”
“How about Pred?”
“No. Something wrong, Brother?”
I shook my head as I hit Reb's number on my phone. Straight to voicemail. Damn, that wasn't good. Then I hit Pred's number. Mother fuck. Same damn thing.
I looked up at Vip, “Not sure, Vip. I was supposed to call Reb back last night and got distracted. I sent word to Axel to let Reb know if it was urgent to let Axel know and he could come get me. My fucking phone died sometime yesterday evening and I wasn't aware it had.”
I watched as Viper punched a button on his phone then put it to his ear. The frown on his face let me know that he hadn't had any luck either.
“Tried Jace's phone. Sent me straight to voicemail,” he commented.
Now I was fucking worried. As I tried to decide what my next move would be, Creed walked into the kitchen, stretching as he made his way toward Clair. I watched as he lined the front of his big body against Clair's back, then he leaned down, bit her neck, licked it, kissed it and whispered something in her ear. Whatever it was, must have been fucking good, because Clair's eyes drooped halfway closed, she tilted her head back and bit Creed on the jaw.
And just like that, I was fucking hard again. Creed's bed was apparently the one Clair had spent her night in, and they both looked like it must have been mutually satisfying. Damn, the boy must have some mad skills in that area. I figured it would take a fully grown ass man to satisfy her and I knew Creed was just about the same age Beau is. Shit, I had to remember that Beau was a fucking grown man now, if still young. Hell, Dog, get your damn mind out of the gutter, you've got other shit to worry about other than fucking.
Reb, Pred and apparently now, Jace.
“Creed, Axel say anything last night about Reb's call?” I asked as I watched Creed slide his hands down over Clair's ass and squeezed.
He looked over at me with eyes that were hooded. I knew where his thoughts were at.
“Nah, Prez. I know Axel called him back and asked him if it was urgent, but it must not have been because he wasn't on the line but a minute with Reb then he went back to tending the bar.
I nodded at him and looked over at Viper. He gazed back at me with a stoic face, but I could see the slightly worried look in his eyes. I couldn't blame him; those were his three sons we couldn't get a hold of. I watched as he tried one of their numbers again. He shook his head grimly at me. Before I could make a move to leave the room, I watched as Creed grabbed Clair's hand and tugged her gently behind him. Yeah, that boy's head was all about some pussy at the moment.
Viper followed me from the room and out to the front yard. I looked and saw that none of the boys’ bikes were here.
“Fuck,” I exclaimed. “I should have fucking called him back last night.”
“He'd have called me or someone if he couldn't get a hold of you and if he didn't think he had things handled, Prez,” Viper commented, but he sounded as worried as I felt.
We both knew that some situations could turn into a shit storm in a manner of minutes. If something happened to his sons, it was on me. I reached up and started rubbing my hands across my head.
“We need to ride to Jade's house and see if they are there. That's the first thing we need to do,” I told him as I made my way toward my bike. Then I stopped because I needed to let someone know where we were going.
“Let me go tell one of the Brothers that we're riding to Jade's place.”
He nodded at me and as I made my way toward the Clubhouse. Before I could reach the door, I heard pipes coming down the road. I turned and watched as three bikes rode into view. What the fuck! Jace had Zoey on behind him and Noah was riding behind Rebel. Pred had a duffle bag strapped to the back of his bike. As they got closer, I could tell that Reb, Pred and Zoey looked a little worse for the wear.
Mother fuck. Something happened and it was apparent it wasn't good. As they came to a stop in front of us, I saw that Reb had a cut above a very obvious black eye. I looked over to Pred and saw his jaw was swollen. My gaze went to Zoey and my whole body went tight. She had a hoodie over her clothes, her face had red marks and the start of bruises on it.
“What the fuck happened?” I growled out.
“Long story, Prez. Can we get something to eat and drink as we tell you what happened? Then we're all gonna need to crash for a while.”
“My office,” I told all of them. “Vip, go with them, I'll get someone to bring something to eat and drink there.”
He nodded as he followed Reb, Pred, and Noah. Zoey wouldn't let go of Jace, so he lifted her into his arms then carried her inside and down the hallway. As I walked toward the kitchen, I reached into my pocket, grabbed my phone and rang Karma.
“Yo, Prez. What's up?”
“Need you at my office now.”
“On my way.”
I walked into the kitchen and found that Ava and Mel were still there.
“Can I get one of you to make something to eat for seven and bring it to my office?” They both nodded at me, I could see the concern in Ava's eyes, but I didn't have time to let her know anything. I smiled grimly at her then made my way to the fucked-up situation that I knew was awaiting me.
As I walked into the room, I saw that everyone was sitting around the table. Zoey had her chair so close to Jace's, that it looked like she was trying to sit in his lap. He had his arm around her and was whispering to her, I couldn't hear what, but I could tell he was trying to keep her calm.
“Someone will be bringing something to eat and drink as soon as they get it fixed. I want to know what the hell happened, but I think we need to wait for Karma.”
I watched as Reb nodded at me. It was apparent he was running on fumes, Pred too.
~*~
Ten minutes later, Karma and the food and drinks showed up at the same time. His eyes widen as he glanced at his daughter, “What the fuck happened?” he demanded.
I watched as Reb, Pred and Jace all looked at each other, then at Noah. Watching the exchange, it was obvious that they didn't want to talk in front of him. Apparently, Karma realized it too.
“Noah,” Karma said quietly. “Why don't you go eat in the dining room. Can you do that for me, son?”
“Yeah, Dad.” He answered tiredly. “But I'm telling you now, I'm not going back to Mom's again. Nothing can make me go back.”
“That's fine, son. You're here to stay.”
“Really?” Noah asked on a choked sob.
“Yeah, Noah. Not making you go back. I'll work something out,” Karma said as he hugged his son who had run over to him, crying in obvious relief.
What the hell had been going on at Jade's fucking house? If that bitch hurt those kids, I'd kill her. I watched as Noah stepped back from Karma, wiped his eyes, came back to the table, grabbed his food and walked out the door.
“Brother, shut the door.”
Karma nodded, shut the door, then walked over and sat down by Zoey. He turned her face to look at the damage done to it. She pulled away from him and, if possible, got even closer to Jace. It was evident that someone had hit her multiple times. That motherfucker was gonna pay, and soon.
“So, who's gonna tell me what the fuck happened?”
<
br /> Reb cleared his throat, “Prez, sorry about not calling you back or anyone else for that matter, but things kinda went straight to hell in the blink of an eye.”
“Not your fault. It's on me. I didn't return your call,” I stated emphatically.
“Nah, Prez. When I called you, it was just with an update. As you know, we came in last night to get something to eat and take a shower. Then I went to pick up Ava, but instead, she followed me back here. After she went into your office, Pred and I headed back to Jade’s.
“When you gave us this assignment, we were just supposed to be taking turns watching Jade, but that first day we decided to split the duty. One of us would watch the house and the kids and the other would tail Jade. We'd call Jace every so often to come watch the house when we thought Jade was in for the night so we could sleep.
“We didn't think you'd mind us doing that even though you originally said for us to just watch Jade. But I got one of those itches that I couldn't scratch that was telling me we needed to watch the house as well.”
Damn, these boys had taken an order and then went way above and beyond it.
“Where the fuck did you sleep?” I hadn’t expected them to stay out twenty-four/seven keeping an eye on the bitch.
“On the ground, Prez. Wasn't nothing we weren't used to,” Pred replied as he took a drink of his Coke.
I nodded to him, realizing, these boys were fucking tough as nails. I knew they had lived a harder life than Beau had, but I was coming to understand that my son had probably endured a lot more than I thought during his time in the Army.
“Nothing really changed each day, so that's why my report to you every day was basically that. Then yesterday we noticed that Jade was acting weird. She was outside talking on her cell and we could tell she was jonesing for a fix. Pred and I have seen too much of that shit not to know what it looks like.
“We could make out a word here and there as she was talking to who we assumed was her dealer. My Spidey senses started screaming, but there wasn't anything to justify calling in reinforcements. Right before I called to report in last night, I called Jace to come out and stay with us.”
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