Ella nuzzles my neck and chills run through me. Fucking chills. I chuckle at how much effect my wife has on me. She holds all the power, and she doesn’t even realise it. Whenever I speak of my love for her it’s not enough. Words can never describe how much I love my beauty. There aren’t enough words to convey my feelings for her so she would understand.
I can only show my love enough so she understands.
Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, Ella kisses up my neck until her lips reach mine. I devour her mouth, and groan at her taste. She has her own flavour, she’s delectable. People would pay highly for a taste so divine.
Nothing tastes better than Ella.
“Did you enjoy tea?” I ask against her lips.
“Mmm hmm,” she mumbles. Her tongue thrusts into my mouth, claiming me before she tears herself away. “No time for sexy time. Abbi is on her way. You need to talk.” Ella steps back as she says this and won’t make eye contact. So this is what has her nervous.
“Why is Abigail coming here beauty?” I ask. I have no issues with it if Ella needs this. I will do anything she needs to feel settled. I know she wants to help me crack my demons but what she doesn’t realise is that Abbi isn’t a demon for me, and Ella has already helped me face my demons. She’s already done what she’s now trying to do.
She’s already fixed me by being her.
“I, erm, I thought... Damon.” She looks frustrated as she tries to find the right words.
“Just tell me baby. I have no problem with Abbi being here if you’re comfortable with it, and I will speak to her about anything if it makes you happy.”
“It’s about the past Damon. I don’t think she did cheat,” she answers quickly. “There is a lot you assume but you’ve never given her the chance to explain her side.”
“What is there to explain Ella? I’ve got fucking photos showing her with a man, his hand slipping in her fucking trousers. She was out all night with him. I don’t need to have this dredged up when it’s pointless. It won’t change a fucking thing. Abbi is my past.” Ella holds up her hand to stop me from speaking.
“I know Damon. But she needs closure as much as you do.” I don’t need closure like she thinks but I’ll play along to keep my beauty happy. “She needs for you to know the truth before she can move on. Let her move on Damon.”
Ella’s words make me frown. I never really thought about Abbi’s feelings in all of this. Each time Abigail has tried to talk about that period in our life I refuse to acknowledge it. Not because I didn’t want to hear it, but because I knew it changed nothing. I didn’t want Abbi to get false hope that we could go back to what we were if she ever tried talking her way out of cheating. Not that she could talk her way out of it.
Photographs don’t lie.
“I’ll speak to her then but I don’t see what you hope to achieve baby. This still won’t be happy for Abbi, and I think it could cause more harm than good,” I tell her honestly.
“What if things aren’t as they seem Damon? What if she didn’t cheat?” she asks.
“She did,” I growl. “Ella pictures don’t lie. That’s all the proof I needed.”
“What if she was unaware? What if she passed out drunk or was drugged and doesn’t know something has been done to her?” My mind spins at Ella’s words. Why did I not think of that before? She gives me a small smile. “See, maybe things didn’t happen as you think.”
“It still changes nothing,” I say, pulling Ella back into my arms. It’s a bitter pill to swallow knowing that something could have happened to Abbi and she may not know about it. Why Ella feels she needs to speak to Abbi about that part of my past I have no clue. I can see no happy ending in speaking things through, and it could cause more damage than good. Abigail is my past. Ella and my daughter are my future, and that’s all that matters. If this is something Ella needs to do then I won’t stand in her way. She is my fucking whole world and I won’t deny her anything.
Even if it means more pain for Abbi.
“She’ll hopefully be here soon. I didn’t tell her anything you’ve told me. Do you still have your proof?” she questions.
I frown and really think about it. It’s been years since I’ve seen those pictures but I know they’re around somewhere. The last time I saw the photographs were when Pops was still alive. We were sharing past photos and he wanted to know what happened to harden me to the world. I came across those pictures then, and shoved them in my safe.
“I have them somewhere,” I say.
“I think you might need them,” Ella replies softly.
I nod and kiss her thoroughly. I know my beauty is doing this for me and I fucking love her for it but I think it’s going to stir up more trouble. But if Ella is right then Abbi deserves to know.
“I’ll go and see if I can find them,” I say, pulling away. Placing one last chaste kiss against her soft lips, I leave her to wait for Abbi whilst I move to the home office to check the safe. It takes me ten minutes to locate them and when I do my gut tightens.
This is not going to be good for Abbi. It’s going to hurt her and I still, to this day, hate seeing her in pain. That’s one of the reasons I had to cut her out my life. I knew she would make me forgive her and I wasn’t ready to. Over time I just decided it was better left alone. I now understand that that was probably a mistake. Maybe Abigail would have moved on before now if I’d have given her closure.
I look at the photo, really look at it, and for the first time I realise I could have been wrong all this time. It’s a grainy image of Abbi laying on a bed. Her top is bunched above her breasts. Some punk has his hand moulded against her tit as he lays at the side of her and his other hand is slipping into the top of her unbuttoned trousers. Her eyes are shut, and I always thought they were shut from pleasure but she could just as easy be passed out.
When Leona gave me this picture I saw red. Abigail threw our relationship away for a quick lay I thought, but I could’ve been wrong. I never really gave it much thought before, but looking at the photo again makes me realise that at least three people were in that room. Abbi, the man, and whoever took the photo.
I wouldn’t change one thing from my past because it all led me to my beauty, but I now wish I could have at least have given Abbi the chance to explain what she knows so she wouldn’t have suffered for so long. Not that anything would have turned out differently. Fate had a way of making my life complete by giving me Ella.
She may have been broken but we’ve fixed each other.
I make my way to the lounge and find Ella nervously fidgeting with her hands in her lap. I know exactly what’s going on in her mind and I need to get those fucking thoughts out of there. This talk with Abbi changes nothing.
“Beauty,” I whisper. Ella’s head swings in my direction and I can see fear in her emerald eyes. I stride over to her and pull her up into my arms before taking a seat and placing her in my lap. I put the photo down on the side table and cup Ella’s face with a hand. “I love you. No one but you. You are my everything.” My other hand comes to rest against her stomach. “You and our daughter are my life and nothing, nothing, will fucking change that. You’re it for me. You’re mine. Both of you.”
I kiss her, letting her taste my desperate need for her. It’s never enough, I always want more. I will never have enough of my wife.
“How can you be sure?” she says quietly. And there is it. The real reason behind Ella needing me to do this. She needs reassurance of my love, and I’m going to make sure I do everything I can to give her what she needs.
“Love can't be deserved or earned. It can't be claimed, ordered, or forced. Love just is, baby. You don't pick and choose. Love does. The heart does. My heart has, and it's chosen you Ella. Forever. You are my forever beauty,” I tell her honestly. “You’re blind to my feelings, Ella. I love you more than I can express.” I look deep into her eyes as I give her the words I know she needs. “My soul has attached to you and I’m keeping you. Forever. What do I have to do to get
you to believe me? My heart hadn’t beaten for so long. I’m not sure it ever did. Not until I saw you. You kick started my heart and gave me life. You made me live baby. You gave me breath to survive, strength to believe, and hope to feel. You’re my home Ella and you’re the first and last home for me. Everything begins and ends with you. You and our family.” I say, caressing our daughter.
“You’re my home too,” she whispers. I can hear she’s getting choked up and I don’t want that. I never want Ella to be anything but happy. My beauty makes me feel exultant with love and I want to be that for her.
I want to be her every fucking thing.
“You’re everything good in my life, and nothing I deserve. I’m convinced you’re also everything good in the fucking world but I know you’ll say I’m being biased,” I say with a chuckle. Ella slaps my chest with a small smile but I can see her love shining deep within her forest green eyes. “I’m yours. I’m only yours Ella.”
“I love you,” she whispers, with a smile. I cup her face before crashing my lips to hers. I explore her mouth slowly, expressing my love through our kiss. My cock twitches when she rubs against me, pressing into the kiss. Claiming me. My wife moaning is the sexiest fucking sound I’ve ever heard. It’s right up there with her gasping my name.
A soft knock on the door brings us out of the moment but I don’t move to answer it yet. I rest my forehead against Ella’s and get my breathing under control.
I lose all control in Ella’s arms.
“You should get that. I’m going to give you some time alone.” Ella says as she stares into my eyes. I could lose myself in her stare. Placing one last kiss on her nose, I help her stand and slap her arse. She glares at me before reaching around me, slapping my arse back.
I walk away laughing and go to answer the door. My wife’s giggle follows me. I open the door and come face to face with Leona.
What the fuck?
“What are you doing here?” I growl. Rage builds in my gut as I look at my former friend. Disgust flows through my veins as I take in her disconcerted state.
“I came to say I’m sorry.”
“Okay,” I say, closing the door. Leona’s hand shoots out to press against the wooden door to hold it open.
“Wait... I’m sorry, Damon. I’m sorry for what I did. Please forgive me,” she rasps. Tears fill her eyes but I know it’s a ploy. Leona is the queen of waterworks.
“I accept your apology. I don’t and won’t ever forgive you Leona, but I accept your apology. What you did was fucked up and I won’t have that in my wife and daughter’s life. This is the end of the road. I have nothing more to say to you. Goodbye.”
“I love you,” she whispers.
“I love my wife.”
“I... I know that Damon.” Leona’s voice catches and she looks away. “I’m sorry.”
“You should leave,” I demand. “I don’t want to see you again Leona. I want you nowhere near me or my family.”
“I know. Goodbye Damon.” She turns and walks away. Ella’s arms wrap around me from behind as much as they can with her bump in the way. I know she’s just heard what I said to Leona.
A car coming up the drive draws my attention and Leona looks up at the same time. A sneer appears on her face as she sees Abigail pulling up. Abbi climbs from her car, and spares a glance at Leona before looking at me. A genuine smile pulls on her lips as she makes her way towards Ella and me. Her whole face lights up and she looks just like she did the first time I met her.
Abbi has always had lightness to her. It shines bright when she’s happy, and I know that look. She’s happy. I sigh. This is going to be hard. Ella gives me a squeeze of encouragement before releasing me. She steps to my side and gives Abbi a wave.
Leona’s car door slams and in the next second she speeds away, leaving rubber burns behind.
Grabbing Ella’s hand in mine, I invite Abigail in and the three of us walk into the lounge. I motion for Abbi to take a seat and she does. This situation feels surreal; my new wife hanging out with my ex girlfriend. I never thought my past would clash so much with my life with Ella but I’m beginning to see that it always will until everything is laid to rest. This talk is the right thing to do for Abbi’s, Ella’s, and my sake.
“Would anyone like some tea?” Ella's question pulls me from my thoughts and I shake my head no. I need something a lot stronger than tea. Walking over to the bar I pour myself a scotch, and drink it in one gulp before quickly refilling. I have a feeling I am going to need it.
“I’m going to leave you both to talk,” Ella says. I spin in her direction, and she walks towards me, lifting her palm to my face. She cups my face and I turn my cheek into the embrace kissing her palm.
“Stay,” I demand. I have nothing to hide from Ella and I would feel better if she was here with me whilst I speak to Abbi. She shakes her head no, and kisses me softly.
“You need to listen to her Damon.” I stare directly into Ella’s forest eyes as her soft words hit my ears, and search her eyes for the truth. Does she really want this? I need to get this over with so it can show her nothing has changed. “Please listen to her. I won’t be far. I’ll wait in the other room but you need to hear what she has to say, okay?” I give her a small nod before pulling her against me. I wrap my hands in her hair and claim her mouth with mine.
I devour her.
Reassure her.
Ella pushes me away, pressing her palms flat against my chest to keep me away. Giving me a breath stealing smile, she turns and walks out the room, but not before giving Abigail an encouraging smile. My wife amazes me.
When I finally turn around to face Abigail I see she is sitting with her eyes fixed on the floor. I walk over to her and sit down on the coffee table directly opposite her, and wait until she is ready to finally have this long overdue conversation. Abbi’s eyes snap to meet mine and I instantly feel like a fucker. She looks so sad, and I know part of that is my fault. She looks away and the pain I see on her face makes me feel like a prick.
“I'm sorry for being an arsehole and not doing this sooner,” I begin. I know I need to take this conversation carefully because if Ella is right then this could be life altering for Abbi. She sniffs and nods her head before looking at me. “Abbi, you need to tell me what happened that night.” I don’t want to throw the cheating accusation at her if she doesn’t know it happened.
Abbi looks at me with a smile, and reaches out to rest her hand on my leg. I tense, and quickly push her hand away but she grips my thigh.
“Damon stop being so tense. You’re making me nervous.” Abbi says before releasing her hold.
“Sorry,” I reply.
“I don’t know what you expect me to tell you Damon. You know everything that happened until you left that night. I got upset after we argued and I wanted to come after you but Leona said to let you calm down. We went to a party. Leona was getting it on with a man she knew. I sat in a corner drinking and I texted you. My battery died. I fell asleep and Leona helped me to a guest room. We slept in there together and left the next morning. I tried looking for you but you weren’t home so I went home and waited until I found you drunk later that night. That’s all I know Damon.”
Looking into her eyes I know she’s speaking the truth. Maybe Ella is right, maybe this was all a misunderstanding.
“You never gave me a reason, or said what went wrong. I just... I didn’t know what to do. Then you got with Leona and I knew you didn’t want me anymore. I tried to move on but I could see your pain and I couldn’t move on when you wouldn’t. I watched you become a different man, a closed off man. That hurt the most. Seeing you become a shell of the real you.” A smile graces her lips. “Then you met Ella and I watched you light up. I watched you become the man I loved. It hurt but I’m happy for you. Ella is really nice,” Abbi says softly.
I don’t know how to respond. How do you tell someone something they may not know happened? My mind is a jumble of questions and thoughts so I grab onto the first thing
in her speech that caught my attention and I want to clarify.
“Leona and I were never anything. Ever.”
Abigail’s gaze pierces into mine as she searches my eyes for the truth. I never gave her a fucking reason not to trust me and I’m hoping she’ll believe me. I don’t want that in her head. Taking a deep breath, she nods and accepts the truth.
“What happened Damon?” she asks. I inhale as much as I can, holding it and look at her icy blue eyes. Will she admit she cheated? Will she break down if what Ella thinks is true? This could go either way. Standing, I release my breath and begin to pace. I want to catch her off guard to get a real reaction from her. I don’t want to be mean to Abbi, but getting her fired up might be the best emotion for her to deal with.
“You fucking cheated. That’s what happened,” I intentionally snap. Abigail tenses at the tone of my voice before she takes in what I said. When it sinks in her eyes widen and her mouth drops open. A look of total disbelief quickly turns to anger once she’s processed my words.
“Wh...what?” she stammers. “What? Who said that?” she asks, stunned. Her eyes widen and she tenses her jaw. “Never mind. It was Leona I know it was. That fucking twisted bitch.” I don’t speak. I stand silently watching her process this new information before hitting her with the photo. I wish it never existed. I wish she didn’t have to go through what she’s about to. I need Ella by my side. I’m not good with Abigail’s emotions.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Astonishment evident in her voice as defeat fills her eyes. Abbi lets out a mirthless laugh. “So that’s how she did it,” she mumbles, shaking her head, and her shoulders slump. Looking away she swallows thickly before looking at me with pain in her icy blue eyes. Hurt.
Betrayed.
That one look makes my heart fucking pound. She didn’t cheat. Well, she had no idea of ever being touched. Abigail has never been a good liar and I know her reaction is genuine. I search her face, waiting for her to cry. Tears brim her eyes but she’s holding them back.
Avowed (The Manipulation Trilogy Book 3) Page 9