Whenever we went anywhere or saw anyone, it seemed he always needed to have his hands on me. Claiming me.
I loved it.
Loved that he cared enough to claim me. That he was proud to mark me as his.
"What's this?" Antonio asked finally, noticing the way Lino pressed into my back when it was time to move to greet Tomasso and his father. His hand reached down, taking mine in his, and eyed my rings. "I thought I'd heard you were separated."
"I was. Divorced, actually," I smiled, pausing to flounder over my words a bit.
Lino's chuckle sounded in my ear, deep and thoroughly entertained by my lack of words. "Samara and I were married a couple weeks ago."
"Holy shit," Antonio said, reaching out to clap Lino on the back. It put him tight into my space, and I felt Lino stiffen even though we both knew the movement was innocent in nature. "Congratulations are in order!"
"You—you did what?" Chiara asked, looking at Lino in shock.
"It was a small wedding," I rushed to explain. "We were actually married in Matteo’s sitting room—"
"Oh, I don't care about that!" she giggled. "Weddings are such a waste. Ask me how much of mine I cared about? I'm just so happy for you! He has been wrapped around your finger for as long as I can remember! Do you remember when you were, God, must have been thirteen? I asked you what you did to get him hooked so thoroughly. You were just a wee thing."
I laughed. "I told you I had no clue what you were talking about, and I still don't. But whatever I did, I'd better hope I can keep it up."
"Will you be having kids soon? Please say yes, our kids could grow up together."
"I uh. We haven't gotten that far," I admitted, glancing back at Lino uneasily.
"Soon," Lino returned, glancing down at me with a warm look. His hand stretched around me, rubbing over my stomach in a way that felt incredibly intimate and full of promise. Everything inside me clenched, the thought of Lino's life inside me making me anxious.
Anxious to feel it.
But I knew it was too soon. We were only just figuring out how we worked together as a couple, hadn't even had our first real fight and who knew how being married would change the way we fought. Lino had been dominating as my friend. I couldn't imagine it would be any better now that I was his wife.
His family wasn't known for their leniency where women were concerned.
Tomasso finally got tired of waiting to greet us, storming over and pressing a too firm kiss to my cheek in greeting. I tried not to flinch away from the touch and the way he made me feel slimy. Despite being only seventeen, his breath smelled like a liquor cabinet. The spoiled, entitled rich boy attended the best private school in Chicago, and promptly drank away every opportunity he was given. Lino had mentioned in the past that he'd already been to rehab for a drug addiction once, and it pained me to think of how Chiara and Lino had turned out so well in comparison, in spite of their father's interference.
There was also the questionable circumstances about Tomasso’s mother’s disappearance to consider. Nobody spoke of his mother, Gabriele's second wife, who disappeared shortly after she gave birth. I had to guess she'd done something unforgivable in Gabriele's eyes, and he'd gotten rid of her. Because no man in the Bellandi family ever tolerated his woman leaving him.
The only way out was through death.
So she was dead, and I'd never know what happened. I doubted even Lino knew.
"Is my new daughter-in-law planning to say hello?" Gabriele asked mockingly from his seat next to the fireplace where he held court. With a sigh, Lino took my hand and guided me to his father. I bent down, kissing him on the cheek as quickly as I could manage before standing straight. "I won't pretend to be pleased about this. Not in my own home."
"Father!" Chiara scolded, but her husband shook his head at her. Such was the legend of Gabriele's cruelty, that a husband had to worry his father-in-law would strike his pregnant daughter.
"I don't expect you to," I admitted. "That suits me just fine. You've never made any secret about your dislike for me. I don't particularly care for you either."
"Samara," Lino’s voice shook with his attempt to restrain his laugh, but I ignored him in favor of holding his father's glare.
"And yet you married my eldest son. You had to know that would mean I'd be in your life. Why do such a thing if you hate me so much?" Gabriele asked, sipping at his whiskey.
"I don't recall saying I hated you. That would require me to give you more thought than you deserve," I paused, taking a deep sigh. "I'll admit, there were times I hated you. Every time I tended to Lino after you beat him. I don't think I've ever wished somebody dead, except for you."
"Perhaps you need to leash your wife, Angelino," Gabriele sneered.
Lino merely chuckled at my back. "Nah, she's much more entertaining when she runs wild. I never did care for a woman to be so beaten down she doesn't dare speak in my presence. I'm not like you," he said.
“In our lives, women are to remember their place. They do not question our decisions or the way we raise our sons. They sit at home and pop out children when we demand. Bellandi men do as they please, and you would reduce our name to a pussy-whipped weakling,” Gabriele barked the words to Lino, and from the corner of my eye I saw Tomasso smirk like he knew the first thing about being a man just because he’d inherited his father’s cruelty. “But you’ll grow bored of her. You always did tire of your toys quickly.”
Lino stepped forward, like he might intervene, but I held him back with a hand at his chest. I wouldn’t, couldn’t, let Gabriele see how the words affected me.
"Dinner will be ready shortly," the butler said, stepping into the room and interrupting the tension. I'd never learned his name, in all his years of working at the Bellandi household. He refused to give it. Talk about archaic and horrible. Lino sighed out his frustrations, turning his attention to me.
"Come with me before dinner," he said, taking my hand and tugging me away. "I want to show you something." I waved a brief goodbye to the others, letting him guide me into the hall and a few doors down. I knew before we got there exactly where he led me.
"It's still here," I breathed when we walked into the room. The grand piano at the back of the room never failed to take my breath away. I knew some of Lino's only memories of his mother were of her sitting at that piano, with him on the bench next to her, as she played and sang to him softly.
"Sing for me," Lino smiled, gesturing me to the piano.
Shaking my head, I backed away a step. "It's not a good time. The others—"
"It's been too long since I heard you sing, Little Dove. Please?" The pleading in his voice was enough to break me down, but my hands shook as I made my way to the bench. Flipping the keylid up over to reveal the keys, I let out a deep breath. It'd been so many years since I'd played in front of anyone, I tried to think of what song I could sing for Lino that would communicate everything I felt about myself and about him.
Eventually, I settled on a song I'd never sung for him. One that I knew would push my voice, probably too much considering how out of practice I was, but the words were about a woman overcoming and fighting for herself, and then finding healing in the arms of someone who saw the strength she held inside.
The first finger touched the keys, and then I paused. Closing my eyes, I let the feel of the keys sweep me away as I played the intro. It started slow; a soft melody that became more haunting as the song went on. When my voice joined in, it shook. The tremble almost made me fumble over the words, my fingers barely gliding over the keys the way I wanted them to.
But it solidified, my voice strengthened.
I found me. The piece of me Connor had killed every time he told me I sounded like a dying cat. Every time he told me I'd never find a career and that my friends were just afraid to hurt my feelings.
And as the song picked up the tempo, my voice grew, less hesitant and louder until I had the fleeting thought that the others would hear. I didn't care.
I hoped they heard.
By the time the last note played, a tear rolled down my cheek. Even though Lino had disguised it as a request for himself, he'd given me another piece of myself back.
"We're taking it home," Lino said, and I gave him a watery smile. When he sat next to me on the bench, I turned to straddle his lap and kissed him. I kissed him the way I’d always wanted to do all those years ago that I was never able to do. When I pulled away, the smile on his face erased anything his father had done and would say for the rest of the night.
"Okay."
Thirty-Two
Samara
Emilio eyed my clothes curiously a few days later. I wasn't particularly feeling up to working out with Sadie, but we'd set the date. Mondays were her only opening, because who the Hell wanted to go to the gym on a Monday? As if Mondays weren't evil enough without torture in the form of physical activity.
My hatred of working out could be seen with just a glimpse at my closet. Leggings I had in spades, but they were all cotton. Comfortable. Not the spandex from Hell that I'd had to rummage to the bottom of my drawers to find. I had precisely one sports bra, and one workout top that draped in the back to show the racerback of my bra. I'd been trapped with what I might have wanted to wear and torn the tags off when I changed into my gym clothes after work.
"Where to, Mrs. Bellandi?" he asked, opening the car door for me to slide inside.
"Fists of Fury, please."
"Sure thing," he said, but I didn't miss the way he discreetly typed a text out on his phone. Informing my husband of my itinerary, I was sure. Like Lino was unaware of the fact that I would be home later than normal. Considering that he most often stopped working before he should so he could come and have dinner with me and then settled in to work remotely, I wasn't so much of an inconsiderate asshat that I wouldn't let him know I wouldn't be home.
It still bothered me that my security felt it necessary to inform my husband of every step I took. I hoped that once everything died down with Connor, the security on me might be just a little looser. I knew it would never go away, but I could hope for less, right?
Probably not.
Even if it pissed me off to admit it.
I sighed, watching the city streets as Emilio navigated through traffic. When we finally pulled up to the gym on the other side of town, the brick exterior caught me off guard. I'd expected a monstrosity of a gym, with clean modern lines and huge windows of glass where you could see everyone's misery as they ran on the treadmill.
I'd known it was a boxing gym of course, I just didn't anticipate that it would be quite so different from a regular chain gym.
I loved it.
As soon as my door opened, I was out and striding through the front doors with Emilio rushing to keep up. The converse on my feet felt comfortable but wouldn't do for the workout I knew Sadie was about to throw my way. So I found the cubbies where people stored their belongings and swapped out my converse for a pair of violet and grey sneakers that had never seen the light of day.
I'd bought them when I intended to start going for a jog in the morning. Almost a year ago.
I hadn't gone once.
"Samara!" Sadie called, drawing my eyes over to her where she helped a man through some complicated series of punches.
I swallowed, waving back before making my way over to her. There was no question about whether or not half the guys were there to work out or check her out, considering the way they all stared as they went through the motions of jabs at their opponents or bags. "Hey, I don't mind waiting."
"Nope. You're my appointment." She grinned, tossing her dark hair behind her and gathering it up into a high ponytail that looked magazine worthy with her long, layered dark hair. Combined with the sports bra and tight, high-waisted spandex shorts, she was a poster child for a good exercise routine.
Her petite body was toned to perfection, her curves slight but seeming emphasized by the fact that she was tiny.
Below five feet tall, kind of tiny.
"Come on," she said, guiding me over to a bench where there was a case of cotton wraps. When she turned, I hung my head. I'd heard stories from Ivory about Sadie's bubble butt that brought all the boys to the gym. Seeing it for myself made me burst out laughing.
"I find it very hard to believe that your father lets you dress like that," I said, holding out a hand so that she could wrap me up in the cotton wrap.
"Psh. I'd like to see any man tell me what to do," she scoffed. "Even my daddy knows he ain't man enough for that." I roared in laughter. I'd met her father maybe twice, and he terrified me. Then again, Sadie scared the shit out of me. I had no clue who would win in a battle of wills, but it certainly sounded like it would be Sadie who came out victorious. “How goes the hunt for Connor? Ivory said something happened last week. Did they catch him?” The cotton wound around my hand quickly and efficiently.
“The guy who tried to grab me, yes. I didn’t ask for details, but—”
“Yeah, he dead,” Sadie huffed a laugh. “But Connor got away, I take it?”
I nodded wordlessly. “Well, that’s depressing as shit. What about sex? Please tell me you’ve made more progress on that front,” she said, switching to wrap up the other hand. I blushed, trying to avoid her gaze as it turned all-knowing. “You whore! You finally slept with Lino and you didn’t call me!”
I darted my eyes around the room, wincing when I realized several of the guy watching and listening. “Sadie!” I hissed at her, burying my face in my hands.
“Oh, don’t you dare,” she laughed. “There ain’t no shame in getting you something from a man as fine as Angelino Bellandi, especially not when he’s your husband.” She slid the rings off my finger, putting them up in a box on top of the shelf. My hand instantly felt naked without them, and it seemed so strange that it had only been less than three weeks since Lino first put them on. “Maybe I should—”
“Nobody touches shit here, or they know I’ll rain down hell on them. They’ll be safe.” I nodded, letting her guide me back toward the center of the room. Emilio lurked at the edges, his eyes narrowed and oddly judgmental. "Boys!" Sadie snapped, and everyone in the gym froze. "That ring is mine. Out." I jerked my head back when the two guys sparring in one of the two rings hopped out with smiles.
"Sorry, Sandman."
"Damn right you're sorry. Get the fuck outta here," she teased, reaching out a hand to smack one on the ass as he passed. His face lit up in a smile that made her roll her eyes, and then she slid through the ropes and hopped into the center of the ring and bounced on the balls of her feet like she couldn't contain her excitement.
"I'm too pretty for you to kick my ass, right?" I teased, following much less gracefully. I nearly fell on my face when I tried to slide my last leg through the ropes.
"Aw, don't worry. Lino would kill me if I damaged that face. We aren't boxing." She said, as I tossed my own hair up. "We're just going to start really simple today. What you do to get away. That's it."
I nodded, and she closed the distance between us to step into my space. "I know you don't work out, so after this we'll set you up with a bag and work on some stamina stuff, but this is where I really need you to pay attention so I don't want you dead tired."
"I don't like the sound of me being dead tired," I admitted. "Can't we skip that part?"
"My goal is for you to get an opening and then you run like Hell. If you can't run, then this is pointless." Her hands hit her hips as she grinned at the tormented look on my face, and then she shocked me when she snapped a hand out and grabbed my wrist. "What's your instinct if Connor grabs you like this?" she asked. I was too aware of the eyes on us as she spoke to me. "Ignore them," she said. "They're nosy teenage girls!"
The sound of them going about their business reached my ears, and I breathed a sigh of relief at no longer being the center of attention. "I want to pull away."
"Wrong," she said. "He just gave you access to a very vulnerable spot on his body. Do you know what it i
s?" When I shook my head, she nodded down at my arm. "My wrist. Mike get your ass up here! Help me show her these moves."
She released me, and once Mike stepped into the ring, he gave me a polite smile. “Samara,” he greeted. Sadie’s head jerked back as she looked back and forth between us.
“You two know each other?” she asked.
I nodded, “Mike works security at this bar I go to sometimes for open mic night.”
“How are you? Have you gotten that divorce yet?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I noticed you never called me.”
“I—uh yeah. Lino took care of it. I’m free and clear,” I answered, scrubbing a hand over the back of my neck awkwardly. As much as I hadn’t wanted to admit it, the very night he’d offered to help me and told me I would take a beating before I called him, I had taken another beating.
And never thought to call him.
“Yeah, and then he married her ass three days later,” Sadie chuckled.
“I didn’t know you boxed,” I said to change the conversation, glaring at Sadie.
“Mike “the Rain” Williams. He runs in the Underground Circuit,” Sadie responded, and the massive man shrugged his bronzed shoulders when I gave him a questioning look. As long as I’d known him, Mike had worked at the Bird Lounge. There’d never been any indication of injuries when I saw him, but I suspected if he won his matches, he wouldn’t need bodyguard money.
"You want me to be the attacker?" he grunted, and it became clear that he wasn’t comfortable with the two sides of his life colliding. I tried to quell the curiosity about what those two sides entailed, focusing in on Sadie’s response.
"Damn right," she said. "The guy she's worried about is bigger than her. I want her to see that these things work no matter size." She held out an arm, and Mike clenched his grip around her wrist. "Just watch the first time."
Forgivable Sins: A Dark Mafia Romance (Bellandi Crime Syndicate Book 2) Page 22