by Celia Aaron
“I want to be strong. I’m trying.”
“You are. You’re just like your sister.” His throat closes on the last word, and he’s silent for a long while.
How could I have thought he was the one to hurt Georgia? God, I’m so blind. It wasn’t Noah. Then again, Noah knows who it was.
“Tell me who hurt her. Please.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?” My whisper gets a little too loud, and he presses his finger to his lips.
I try again. “Why won’t you tell me?”
“I just can’t. Please don’t ask me.”
“Was it Adam?” I blurt.
“No. But that’s all I’m saying. Maybe a time will come when you’ll find out, but I can promise you it won’t be from me.”
I have the urge to reach out and pinch him. I don’t. “Who are you protecting? It has to be someone close to you.”
He flinches but doesn’t answer. Instead, he changes the subject. “Something’s coming. A change. I don’t know when, but it’s on the way.”
“What kind of change?”
“There’s going to be a fight. You just need to keep yourself safe. If anything happens to you, Adam will kill me.”
“Is he okay?”
“I think so. He’s somewhere on the compound.”
“Where?”
“I have a guess or two, but I can’t follow up on them right now. Dad is too suspicious. Paranoid since Adam disappeared. I have to watch my back.”
“Can you do something for me?”
He lets out a breath through pursed lips. “Doubt it. But what?”
“My mom, they have her in the Rectory. Could—”
“I can’t get her out.”
This time I do pinch him.
“Ow.” He glowers.
“I wasn’t finished. They have her. Could you visit her at least? Tell her that everything’s going to be all right?”
“What good will that do?”
“I’ve been where she is. I know what it feels like. If you can just get to her somehow. Tell her—” I swallow hard. “Tell her that I’m going to get her out. It won’t be long.”
His eyes soften. “So you want me to lie to her?”
I fist my hands. “It’s not a lie.”
“Sounds like one to me.”
“I’m getting out of here. I’m going to—”
“What? You’re going to what? Look, I don’t want to burst your rescue bubble, but you’re trapped in here. No escape for you or your mom or any of us. Unless you have an arsenal I’m not aware of, you aren’t blasting your way out.”
“I agree.” Everything he’s said is true. But I have one option, one way to bring this place down. It’s not with guns and war. At least, not yet.
Though I try not to think about it, I have one card left to play. One checkmate that will cost me dearly.
His brow furrows. “If you agree with what I’m saying here, then what are we even talking about?”
“Just tell her, okay? Tell her I’m coming for her. Can you do that for me?”
“I’ll try.” He sits up. “Till tomorrow, Maiden.” He rises and strides to the door, opening it roughly. “Work on your cock-handling skills for next time. And I hope your gag reflex is non-existent.” He slams the door.
I curl into a ball and stare at the wall, my mind clicking with plans and strategy. Adam is safe for the time being. Mom is not. These are the parameters I have to work within. I can do it. I can save them both.
Even if the cost is higher than I can admit, even to myself.
Chapter 14
Adam
“Holy shit, where’d you get this?”
I keep my eyes closed. Lying on Jez’s couch, I’ve heard plenty of interesting conversations over the past three days. This one is the most interesting of all.
“You know how Noah has crews clearing all those acres for farming?”
“Yeah,” Jez replies.
“They’re stockpiling dynamite to take care of the stony areas that they can’t dig out with regular equipment. Going to break the rock into smaller pieces they can get with their bulldozers.”
“Are you shitting me?” Jez cackles. “We won’t need the gasoline at all if we’ve got more of this.”
“This is just a sample. There’s more. A ton more in a storage shed on that side of the compound.”
“How much can you nick?”
“Enough.”
“When?”
“It’ll take me a few days. I’m only supposed to be out there to take lunches and refreshments to the workers, and that’s once a day. If I’m lucky, they don’t pay me any attention, and I can sneak by the shed on my way back. I can hide what I take under the seat of my golf cart, then stash it somewhere safer. But if anyone’s looking, I’ll have to skip it and try again the next day.”
I open my eyes and watch the back and forth between Jez and Chastity. They don’t pay me any attention, either believing I’m asleep or knowing I’m awake and not caring.
Jez holds a stick of dynamite that looks just like what you’d see in the movies—a narrow tube in a khaki wrapper with warnings all over it and a black fuse hanging out one end.
“We’ll need to bring the sanctuary down. This Sunday, got it? Can you get that many sticks?”
“How many of these will that take?” Chastity retrieves the stick, holding it gingerly as she whispers to Jez.
Mass murder. That’s what’s being planned right in front of me. My father has driven these women to this, pushed them over the brink and into the dark abyss below. I’ve done things that will haunt me until the day I die, but all of it pales in comparison to what Jez and Chastity are planning in urgent whispers. But that’s what my father does. Poisons everything and everyone he touches. This is his evil—their entire plan is just another rung on his ladder of hatred, murder, and power.
“So, I’m thinking twenty. We place them around those wide, round columns in the atrium area and around to the sides and back.” Chastity glances at me and frowns.
“Nice to see you again. So you’re in on the mass murder plan, too?” I stretch, my phantom toes stinging.
Chastity turns to me, her eyes shrewd. “It was my idea, so I’d say so.”
“I see.”
She glares. “No, you don’t.”
“Let me rephrase. I see that you and Jez here have lost your fucking minds and intend to slaughter thousands of people. Judge, jury, and executioner. A death sentence all because they were desperate enough to fall for the Prophet’s lies. And not just them.” I sit up and wince as blood rushes to my foot. “Their children, too. You’ll kill them all.”
Chastity steps toward me, her shoulders back, her eyes alight. “You think we came to this decision lightly?”
“I don’t care how much hand-wringing it took, what you’re talking about is the worst sort of evil.”
“No. Your father. He’s the worst sort of evil.”
“So kill him. Just him.” I hold up my bandaged hands. “I hope you can see that I’d be happy to help with that plan. He needs to go, and I’m more than willing to help out. But that doesn’t mean you have to kill all the—”
“I do.” Chastity shakes her head. “I have to destroy Heavenly. Cutting off the head of the snake isn’t enough. Another head will pop right up.” She jerks her chin at me. “You, your brother, one of the Protectors, some asshole in the crowd who thinks he’s touched by God. And then it will never stop.”
“So kill the Protectors. That’s been my plan.”
Her eyes widen. “You planned to—”
“Kill every last one of them right along with my father. Yes.”
“What about the guy in the crowd?” Jez plops down on her golden tufted chair and slings one leg over the dingy arm. “How are we going to stop him?”
“Deal with that when it comes up.” I lean forward and pluck a piece of cheese from a tray they’ve left out for me. “Surely, you can see that killing so many is wro
ng.”
“Wrong.” Chastity laughs. “Adam Monroe is lecturing me about right and wrong.” She giggles. “Ah, God, that’s rich.” Still laughing, she doubles over, her hand over her mouth as she tries to control her mirth.
“It’s wrong, and you know it.”
She jerks upright, the laughter dying on a sour note. “No.” Her fingers fly to the buttons at her throat and make quick work of them down her front.
I take a too-ripe strawberry, chewing it as Chastity turns and strips her dress down. “This is wrong. What he did to me and to Jez, to the girls in the Chapel and in the Cathedral.” A vicious criss-cross of scars mars the pale skin of her back. Circles of pink, raised skin are dotted here and there. Cigar burns, courtesy of the Prophet. “I’m not even the worst one. Two of the girls at the Cathedral are missing fingers. You know why?”
I nod.
“Say it,” Chastity hisses and buttons her top back into place.
The words don’t want to come out, the truth just as disgusting and diseased as my father. But I say it all the same. “They miscarried.”
“Goddamn.” Jez rubs her eyes. “I’d forgotten about that. Maybe blocked it out. Fuck if I know.”
“A finger for a miscarriage. There’s plenty more that goes on there. Ruth probably just gives us the highlights.”
“Ruth is in on this mess?” That’s more of a surprise than even Chastity. Ruth is from the first crop of Maidens. Quiet, level-headed, and unfailingly calm, she’s been like a mother hen to all the girls that wind up in the Cathedral.
“Yes. Her and more. And we all know the plan. And we all agree that to stop the rot, we have to destroy every bit of Heavenly.”
“You heard from Ruth?” Jez asks Chastity.
“Yeah. Earlier today. Said she got busted for having contraband at the Cathedral. Had to spend a day in the Rectory, but is out now.”
“Damn. I thought she was too smooth to get caught.”
Chastity shrugs. “Me too, but all’s well now. She’s ready to get back to work.”
“Good.” Jez nods. “Sunday can’t come soon enough.”
“You’re wrong.” I realize I’m treating them the same way I treat my father when he’s ranting or plotting. I stay as placid as possible, letting him rage and answering with even tones, reasonable words. Of course, it doesn’t work on him, and, from the expressions on Jez and Chastity’s faces, it’s not working on them either. “Why am I even here? What’s my place in all this? I’m not going along with your murder mission. You may as well throw me back to the Prophet.”
“You’re insurance.” Chastity grabs her black coat and pulls it on. “If things go south, we’ll offer you to the Prophet for our freedom.”
“I don’t think that’ll work. He crucified me, remember? Not sure he’s interested in having me back.”
Chastity smirks, and I see the darkness in her that wasn’t there a few years ago. She was right about one thing; the Prophet corrupts everything he touches. “He’s still tearing the compound apart looking for you. He’s desperate to have you returned. Probably so he can put you back up on that cross where you belong.”
I can’t argue that point. Sarah’s blood on my hands is plenty to condemn me to death, not to mention my other sins. “Let’s pretend trading me goes according to plan. You hand me over, he gives you freedom, you walk out of here. His men will have you hunted down and dragged back in a matter of hours. You know that right?”
Chastity shrugs. “We’ll tackle that when it comes.”
“If it comes,” interjects Jez.
“So I take it I’m a prisoner?”
“For the time being, yes.” Jez rises. “If you make any trouble, we’ll tie you, gag you, and stick you back in the box.”
“Good to know.” I lean back, pretending to make myself comfortable while my insides twist and bubble like lava. It’s not smart, but I have to ask. “I realize I’m in no position for favors, but I was hoping you could add Delilah to your little venture on the off chance it actually works.”
“I will keep her away from the church on Sunday. I owe her that much.”
“You owe her?” I’m lost.
“Her sister was a good friend of mine. She told me all about Emily. Did you know she called Emily her Firefly? Did you know that Georgia should be alive today? She would be alive today if it wasn’t for your godforsaken family.” Her eyes mist. “I’ve known what your mother did to her for months, but I didn’t tell Emily. I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I want to set her free.” She snatches her gloves off the small table by the door. “But I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing it for Georgia.”
I don’t care the why of it. I just want Emily safe and away from this place if it’s at all possible. My past days have been spent with thoughts of her. Jez wouldn’t answer any questions about her, wouldn’t even tell me if she’d been sold to that bastard senator. But I’ve refused to believe it, refused to give in to despair. There has to be a way to save her. Since Jez and Chastity are hellbent on a suicide mission, I’ll have to search outside of the Chapel for help. But that won’t be easy, not when everyone on the compound is looking for me.
Jez rubs a hand down Chastity’s back. “Calm down. You need to look saintly when you walk out of here.”
Chastity takes a deep breath and lets it out in a shaky burst. Then she and Jez embrace and share a decidedly non-chaste kiss.
“Be safe.” Jez reaches for the door that leads to the rest of the Chapel.
“One more question, Chastity.” I peer up at her. “When you’re done with your explosive endgame, what do you plan to do with me?”
She pulls her hood up and walks out, giving me nothing more than the hint of a smirk, the promise of my death.
Chapter 15
Delilah
We file out of the Cloister and get onto the white bus. We’re headed to the Temple for the LSD ritual, but it’s on a Thursday night this time. It seems Adam’s disappearance threw everything into disarray, and even now, I can see a few flashlights off in the woods—the Prophet’s goons still searching for his lost son.
Chastity eases down next to me. I look up, but Grace’s back is to us, her eyes focused on the road ahead.
“Sunday. Stay in the Cloister for service. Pretend you’re sick. Do whatever it takes to stay behind.”
“Why, what—”
She rises quickly and moves down the aisle toward the back.
Damn.
I need to know more, especially since I intend to make a move tonight—one that will likely land me in an even more dire situation.
“What was that?” Eve huddles beside me.
“Don’t know.” I turn to her. It’s been days since I’ve had a chance to speak with anyone besides Grace or Noah. They keep me separate, making sure I eat at a separate table, alone, and not allowing me to go to training with the rest of the Maidens. Maybe that last part is a blessing, but the isolation chafes.
I lean closer to Eve. “How are you holding up?”
She stares at her hands. “Not so great. I had to meet my suitor two days ago.” Her shoulders slump even more. “He’s from South Carolina. Runs some sort of guns and ammunition manufacturing thing out there. Old. Fat.” She shivers. “Handsy.”
“I’m sorry.” I want to say that I’ll get her out of here, that she won’t have to go to the old fat man in South Carolina, but I can’t be sure it’s true. Not yet.
“At least he doesn’t want me yet. But he’s told the Prophet what sort of training I need.” She crosses her arms over her stomach and squeezes her elbows. “He’s got a thing for blood. For cutting. Leaving scars in weird patterns.”
My mouth goes dry. Eve will leave the torture of the Cloister only to be sent into an even deeper hell. I can’t tell if I’m raging or sorrowful. A mix of both, I suppose.
All I can see is her profile, her skin wan, her eyes clenched shut. If I could paint a picture of her at this moment, I could easily title it ‘Despair.’ That’s
all the Maidens have left—except the ones who are true believers. For them, they think a heaven awaits them after their trials here on earth.
The bus rumbles through the compound. There are men along the road at intervals, guns slung across their backs. No wonder the Prophet is aiming to get a gun manufacturer on his hook.
We pull to a stop in front of the Temple and file out of the bus into the shivering evening. The overdone walls of the Temple meet us, paintings of the Prophet following our every step down the hallway. We strip outside the golden doors leading to the round room, the Spinners taking our dresses. No shame amongst us anymore, we stand in a line, obedient and still.
When we’re led in, my eyes automatically go to the spot where Adam used to be, his gaze locked with mine as he knelt on the floor. He’s not there, his absence an open wound. Noah is on his knees in his usual spot, and this time he watches me instead of his previous Maiden.
The Spinners guide us to sit on the floor in front of the throne, all of the Maidens herded inside the large pentagram that transverses the floor in veins of gold. I try to keep myself grounded, to control the fear that eats away at my insides. The path I’m on—it doesn’t lead to a happy end. Not for me. But maybe my actions tonight will clear a way for me to start the systematic dismantling of everything Heavenly stands for.
“My children.” The Prophet smiles, though he seems aged somehow, worn thin. His forehead more wrinkled, the lines next to his eyes darker. Maybe I’m not the only one losing sleep over Adam.
The Spinners bring in the trays of poisoned food and set them amongst us before walking out and closing the doors behind them.
“I’m so pleased to have each of you. Eat, drink, enjoy yourselves. Be as children. ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’” He gestures toward the food. “Eat, my loves. Tonight we shall delight in the love of the Lord.”
I grab a grape, pretend to eat it, then reach for another, all the while keeping the same one in my palm. The other Maidens take the wine, drinking and eating with abandon. I understand why. The drugs give a reprieve from this place. Even if it leaves you open and empty in the end, it’s still better than the cutting touch of reality.