by Darcy Burke
“Yes. Do you keep the truth from her because you feel she cannot be trusted?”
“No. I trust Gabriella.”
“No, you don’t. You don’t trust anyone. You keep everyone at a distance. You have forgotten how to live, chère. You’re merely existing. And there is nothing worse than to live your life only half alive.” He’d known it growing up. The lower class struggled to exist. They never really lived.
He couldn’t tell if his words hit the mark. The wall was erected so tall and solid. She merely held his gaze for a moment before she said, “What about you, Simon? Do you live? Are you whom I should emulate in my life?”
Simon walked calmly to the door despite the visceral surge of bitterness that welled inside him—his usual reaction to any subject connected to the choices he’d made in his naval career and with Fouquet.
“Don’t concern yourself with my life. You should contemplate your own. Look at those around you and see how they strive to improve theirs, Angelica. They want so much more out of life, whereas you want so much less.”
He opened the door and walked out.
***
Standing on deck, Simon focused his gaze on the Spanish ships on the horizon. Recklessly, he toyed with the thought of defying Fouquet’s demands for more riches, to pull back and let the ships pass—to hell with Fouquet and his hold on them—but then Thomas came to mind, decimating his insurgent thoughts.
“Hold her steady,” Simon ordered his commander.
“Yes, Captain.”
As always, the information gathered by Thomas had been reliable. After two weeks at sea, La Estrella Blanca was in view—as were the two galleons Thomas had advised would be escorting her for protection.
The Spanish ship wasn’t part of the biannual convoys arriving from New Spain. La Estrella Blanca was an additional treasure ship. Thomas had been shrewd enough to learn its secret date of arrival, privy to only a small circle of high-ranking, trusted individuals. There was the very real possibility that all three ships were laden with silver. In short, this was a large capture before them.
With Simon’s ships outnumbering theirs six to three, he felt confident of a victory.
More wealth for Fouquet. Just the thought tortured his jaundiced soul. How many prizes had he captured for the Crown already?
Too many.
Too many good men under his command had perished. Too vivid were his memories of their dying screams rising from their mutilated bodies, limbs shot away by cannons, bodies torn open by swords or impaled by the large splinters of wood torn off from the ship’s masts by the cannon blasts. Too many bodies lay within the dark cold ocean depths.
For what? A country that was dying—decay prevalent in each of its social classes? For a king who spent his time on vice rather than on his kingdom and its people?
Simon’s men knew the risks involved with each potential capture, yet they risked everything because they believed in him. If they only knew that he didn’t believe in himself anymore. His self-confidence had been, until recently, steadfast in every challenge he encountered. Unfaltering in every endeavor he undertook. Never in his entire adult life had he vacillated, even for an instant, from his intended target.
Or from his dream of promotion to the upper class and a respected officer’s commission in the realm’s official navy—rather than the mere supplement he and his ships were now.
Abandoning that dream was a small price to pay for his involvement with Fouquet.
For the part Simon had played in the suffering and deaths that had occurred.
What he was forced to do now felt so wrong. This valuable capture would only aid in Fouquet’s success as Superintendent of Finance, giving him more power and prestige.
Simon clenched his teeth to keep from growling out loud.
The deck was prepared for battle.
The men were in place.
The cannons were ready. They awaited his order to begin firing.
The usual stillness settled on them. The last moments of serenity before the chaos.
During the dwindling minutes of peace, before the blood and gore began, his mind drifted to Angelica. Normally, he didn’t permit women on board his ships when the business of ship battles and capture were at hand. However, with La Estrella Blanca and its escort outnumbered two to one, he knew there was very little risk to them. La Estrella Blanca would go down.
If only it would be as easy to bring down Nicolas Fouquet.
How would Angelica react when the cannons began to blast?
What would she think of the things he’d done in the name of the king, in order to climb the social ladder that had placed him at the bottom at birth? Or of the extent of the destruction and devastation he’d caused?
Why should he care what she thought of him?
It grated on his frayed nerves that throughout each day he was aware of her, down below in her cabin. He hadn’t set eyes on her since the second day of the voyage, and yet here she was in his thoughts. At the worst possible time.
***
Another roar of the cannons rocked the ship, sending shock waves of mortal terror through Angelica. She’d lost track of how many rounds had been fired at them and how many had been fired at the enemy. Suzette and Marta sat with her on the edge of the bed in her cabin, waiting for the battle—that had begun an eternity ago—to end.
Another round of guns erupted. Petrified, Suzette squeezed her hand painfully.
Three more blasts in quick succession reverberated around them, their terrifying booms leaving Angelica’s ears ringing in the aftermath. Suzette shrieked and covered her ears, but the sound was drowned out by more cannon fire.
“Battle is part of war,” Marta had explained only moments before the calamity began. She had looked relatively calm until the thunder of the cannons commenced.
Angelica’s heart hammered wildly. Concern for Simon and Gabriella consumed her; thoughts of their welfare tormented her with each blast she heard.
The men moved rapidly on the deck above. Images of carnage filled her mind. And sickened her stomach. She thought of Simon up there. Was he hurt? Dying? Dead? She wanted him to be safe, to survive, unharmed.
Another round of fire shook the vessel. Wood splintered, then crashed onto the deck above. Her heart dropped to her stomach; she tensed with fright. Once all this was over, once she could see with her own eyes that Simon and Gabriella were safe and uninjured, she would kill him herself for putting them through this.
The battle raged on, round after round, making the ship tremble, shaking Angelica’s flagging courage. She shut her eyes and covered her ears, just like Marta and Suzette. Engulfed in the hellish noise, she lost all sense of time. All she could do was pray that they would come out of this alive, that the ships would withstand all that the enemy could fire at them.
There were two more quick blasts in the distance, then a sudden round of cheers on deck.
“It’s over!” Suzette exclaimed. Jumping to her feet, she clasped her hands together. “Please God, let Paul be safe.” Angelica knew Suzette had a tendre for the shy young man, always trying to engage him in conversation.
Marta made the sign of the cross, relief etched on her face.
Angelica wished she felt as tranquil as Marta looked. Were Simon and Gabriella all right? She wasn’t about to wait for someone to stroll belowdecks hours from now with the answer. She needed to know. Now.
The quiet on deck was as chilling as the battle.
***
“Captain?” the commander inquired, awaiting Simon’s command.
The crew stood by for the final order: the order to send the fireship. The small vessel would finish off La Estrella Blanca by setting her ablaze.
Outnumbered and outgunned, the three Spanish ships had had little chance of escaping their fate. While the other two Spanish ships, already stripped of their cargo, were burning, grappling irons had been tossed onto La Estrella Blanca.
Climbing onto the rigging, the men had leaped across o
nce the ships were close together. The fighting continued with guns and swords until they’d finally subdued the Spaniards.
Simon looked at the bounty of silver from La Estrella Blanca now resting on the deck of his ship, then cast a glance at the misbegotten Spanish vessel. His stomach fisted. To give the order meant certain death for its crew—a fate already shared by their comrades on the other two burning ships. Yet more wasted lives for profit.
It was what he was supposed to do. What was expected of him.
You have no choice here.
To spare the enemy was treason. He and all who served under him would be labeled pirates by France, punishable by death. He wasn’t afraid to die. Death was a part of his reality—he could be killed or captured at any time. However, his men were another matter altogether. He wouldn’t sacrifice their lives just to demonstrate his outrage at Fouquet and Louis.
He clenched his jaw and gave the commander the nod to begin the sinking of La Estrella Blanca.
The grappling hooks were removed in haste, and La Estrella Blanca was set free.
It didn’t take long before the vessel was on fire. The few men still alive on the unfortunate ship jumped into the sea to escape the lapping flames, trading one type of death for another.
The angry flames burned before Simon’s eyes.
Thomas, I pray I give you sufficient honor this day. Rest in peace knowing your wife and child shall want for nothing for as long as I live. Simon turned away with a heavy heart then winced. His shoulder was injured, a minor thing that had been caused by a flying piece of wood from the broken mast. So absorbed in battle, in shouting orders, his eyes stinging from the smoke, he’d barely felt it when it happened. He’d simply yanked the piece out and carried on. His shirt was soiled by gunpowder and his own blood.
Simon looked down at his hands. They were slick with the blood of others. He wiped them on his breeches, but it didn’t remove the sickening sight from his mind.
Fallen men were being gathered for medical assessment. The rest stood around the captured silver prize. Expected to show the men how pleased he was at a successful capture, he readied himself for a convincing performance and approached his purser and commander, mindful of the blood and debris covering the deck. The silver was inventoried before the entire crew, with the ship’s purser dutifully recording the amount of precious metal captured. The repeated cheers from his men as well as the echoed jubilation from his other ships thankfully drowned out the haunting cries from the men of La Estrella Blanca and its sister ships.
Just then a flash of pale blue skirts caught the corner of his eye. He looked up. His stomach dropped when he saw Angelica on deck staring at the burning ships, at the devastation around her. Torn sails, pieces of wood, and bodies littered the deck and the sea.
Dieu. The very last thing he wanted was for her to see this.
Chapter Ten
Simon watched as Angelica turned toward him, her hand clutching the rail, ignoring Marta and Suzette, who were trying to urge her back belowdecks. She looked pale and overwhelmed by the battle she’d heard and the aftermath she saw. The horror in her eyes as she took in the gruesome scene was unmistakable.
It took a moment to find his voice. He murmured to his commander to continue, then approached her. The self-loathing he’d been feeling wasn’t nearly as bad as having her see what he was capable of.
Forced to step around some of the injured lying on the deck, and Toussaint, who was busy examining them, he finally reached his green-eyed beauty.
“I’m sorry, Captain. But the mademoiselle is worried about her friend,” Marta said.
Angelica stepped closer to him. “You’re injured.”
“It’s nothing,” he said. “My ships are fine.” He nodded toward Domenico’s ship nearby. “Gabriella is fine.”
She glanced toward the ship. The sun’s rays on her chestnut tresses created lovely reddish highlights in her hair. For an instant, he was overcome with the urge to pull her near, bury his face in those soft, curly locks, and envelop himself in her, shutting out the horrific scene he’d witnessed more times in his life than he could count.
But he was never more mindful of his blood-soiled hands.
It was absurd, completely ludicrous, actually, but he wanted her to understand, even when he couldn’t accept his own actions.
And he was completely at a loss as to why the opinion of this one woman should mean anything to him at all.
She turned to face him. “So this is what the Black Demon does, then. Those men…must they die?”
No, this isn’t all I did or have done. I convinced my closest friend to join my cause—resulting in his slow, tortured death. “This is war. Return to your cabin, Angelica. This is no place for a woman.” She was only causing him more agony.
And he condemned himself enough.
“Three cheers for the captain!” one crewmember shouted. It was followed immediately by three boisterous cheers.
He turned away from her and walked toward his crew; he heard Marta and Suzette behind him, coaxing her from the rail back to the stairs that led belowdecks.
“Simon Boulenger, le Démon Noir, ruler of the seas!” shouted another crewmember. Resounding approval rang out.
He schooled his features, forcing a smile, feigning a gladness he didn’t feel.
One way or another, he’d just captured his last silver treasure. To that he swore.
***
Simon sat bolt upright and muttered an oath.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and dropped his head in his hands waiting for his heart and breathing to calm.
Another bloody nightmare involving Thomas.
Reaching for the brandy decanter he kept in his cabin, he downed several gulps, seeking the amber liquid’s numbing appeal. It had taken him far too long to fall asleep, only to be torn out of it all too soon. There was no point staying in his cabin only to toss and turn in bed. He stood.
Yanking on his breeches, then his boots, he ignored the pain in his shoulder where Toussaint had stitched his wound.
One of his men had lost an arm in the battle, others their lives. Soon he would be given the list of casualties from all six ships.
Merde, at least they had a bounty of silver for Fouquet and France! Won’t that be comforting to the women on the island who were waiting for their husbands to return, men whose bodies were now at the bottom of the sea in a watery grave.
Snatching a clean shirt off the chair, he clutched it in his fist and marched out of his cabin.
He stopped abruptly the moment he saw Angelica exit her cabin. She looked surprised. Good Lord, not her. Not now. He needed solitude to master his vexation, and his lungs burned for fresh air. He didn’t want to discuss today. Or anything at the moment.
Her eyes took in his bare chest.
Just having those gorgeous eyes move over his body was already making his cock hard. Jésus-Christ. He didn’t need this type of frustration on top of everything else.
“You shouldn’t be out here at this hour,” he snapped.
“I couldn’t sleep. I was going to see if Suzette was awake.”
“She’s helping Toussaint attend to the injured. Go back to your cabin.” He started for the deck.
“Simon?”
He sighed and turned around.
“Are you all right?” she asked, softly.
Dieu, what was he doing? He might be battling his personal demons, but she’d just seen her first glimpse of the horrors of war. You don’t need to be a colossal ass when she’s only showing concern.
He walked up to her. “I am fine. Are you all right?”
“Yes.” Her manner was tightly guarded. He couldn’t read much into the one word.
“The rest of the voyage should be without incident.” Every fiber of his being wanted nothing more than to pull her into her cabin, take this beautiful, untaught female, and initiate her into sexual pleasures. He knew the experience would be nothing short of mind-melting with her. By God,
he wanted to fuck her so badly, it hurt. “Return to your cabin, chère.”
Once on deck, he murmured to the men who greeted him and walked over to the starboard side. Gripping the ship’s rail, he breathed in the sea air and let it out slowly. The half-crescent moon cast its silver light. He looked out at the dark sea and took in the tiny stars that punctured the blackened sky.
There was the distinct rustling of skirts behind him. He didn’t turn around, hoping he was mistaken. Then Angelica stood next to him.
He swore under his breath. “Did you not hear my order?”
“I am not one of your men. I don’t take orders.”
He turned to face her and rested his hip against the rail. “On my ships and on the island, every man, woman, and child obeys me. I am in charge. Keeping order is paramount.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed you take your responsibilities very seriously.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She pulled the shirt out of his hand and touched it lightly to his shoulder. It was then he noticed he was bleeding. She gently blotted the blood, her ministrations taking him by surprise. For a moment, he forgot everything else, luxuriating in her tender touch.
She stopped and looked him in the eye. “You perform your duty, but it is not what you want to do.”
Her insight shocked him. He glanced around to make certain no one had overheard her words.
“That’s absurd. I work for my king and my country. It is an honor. I do it willingly, and I am committed to it.”
“Perhaps once you were, but how things began and how they are now are very different. You must carry on with what is expected of you, but inside you wish to cease.” She took his hand and placed his shirt in it. “You have no stomach for battle any longer. Admit it.”
No one other than Robert knew of his true feelings about wanting to walk away. Even his men didn’t know of his ill intentions toward Fouquet. The fact that she couldn’t have overheard this in the conversation he’d had with Robert, for she’d been unconscious then, meant she sensed his feelings of displeasure. Impossible. He was not so plain about his emotions.