A monster with an heart? It's possible I suppose.
Anna changed quickly into a light dress, hot from her morning in the gardens, and headed to the gallery. She briefly paused at the portrait of the young man from her dreams. After all she had learned, she was knew it was Leon. It was a glimpse into his past, another life—the life of a boy with a loving family and a promising future.
Anna thought about him; it must’ve been hard for him to deal with that loss, and she couldn’t begin to imagine the transition he went through to his new life—all on his own. Not that she was giving him excuses, she told herself, but she knew how to empathize. It would be unfair of her to not consider his side, not that he had considered hers. But, then again, she wondered if he could still be held to the same standards of men. Did he have a soul to be forgiven?
She rushed to the far wall and peeled back the golden curtain that concealed the painting beyond it. The fabric moved like fluid, as did the images. It was like viewing the scene beneath water, with ripples running through it. She tried to reach her hand through as she had with the other images, but her hand stopped on the smooth surface. It wasn’t merely a painting, a mirror, or a pool, but it seemed to be some sort of combination.
Looking closely, she saw figures moving around a kitchen table. It was a family, having lunch. It was her family! Tears stung her eyes, but she did not let them fall. She saw Gwen, talking excitedly to her father, wearing an outfit she hadn’t seen before.
Anna felt lost, separated from her life, all she knew, and all she wanted. Everything was upside down.
She saw Effie, but she looked so pale and still. Is she ill?
Anna felt Leon’s presence enter the room. Despite her anger, it was comforting to have him there. Not because it was him, but because it was someone. She was not alone. He did not say anything but stayed for a while with her.
Anna didn’t leave until after Leon finally did. Only then did she go back to her room, get her things, and make her way to the library where she knew he would be.
As she entered, Leon was sitting in his chair, looking out to the garden with a book in his lap. He looked almost normal, serene and thoughtful. But Anna knew there was much more to him than that.
“I’m leaving to see my family,” she said sternly. “I—I don’t care what you say. I know if I just left you would come after me or I’d wander back in my own memory lapse. So, I’m letting you know I don’t want that. If there is some part of you that cares, you will let me go.” She surprised herself with the confidence in her voice. She stood tall with her trunk packed at her side, though inside she was squirming.
“You—what?” His mouth hung open wide. “You can’t leave. Why would you leave? Please stay.”
“How can I stay? My head is spinning.”
“You have to stay, Anna.” He pleaded, but she could see it in his eyes he was giving up. “Will you come back?”
She shuffled her feet, unsure of what to do. He appeared to really care. He was asking her to come back, not telling. She placed her bag on the ground.
“Is that a yes?” He leaned forward, a little anxious.
“Did you plan this?”
“What?”
“My being here?” Anna spoke to the ground; it was much easier to talk to. “You did choose my father on purpose.”
“No… Well, not exactly. Yes, I chose your father, because, well, because I knew your grandfather, as I said. Helping his family was the least I could do. You ... I was intrigued by you. But, you—this—was all an accident—a whim. But … I am glad I made that decision.”
“So … you’re as old as my grandfather?”
“You make me sound like a creep when you put it that way, but yes.”
“You are kind of a creep, though,” she teased and gave him a small smile. She turned the subject back. “I miss them, my family. And ... I think Effie is sick.” Anna was worried and tired of the antics. Though she wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself.
What had started out an as easy arrangement had gotten out of hand. She wasn’t even sure what she had gotten involved in anymore. The stories of monsters and creatures she told Effie had been only that, stories. Now they were real. She needed some time to get away and think things through, even if it was only temporary. She knew the terms of their arrangement—she had to stay for her family to be taken care of—but it was a lot more than she had originally thought. Getting away to visit her family was the best option she had. She missed them, and perhaps getting back to the real world would help her feel normal again.
“I saw them—in the gallery.”
“I thought you would like it.” He reached out to her but stopped himself.
“I did, and that’s why I have to go,” she said quietly, though she did not shudder from his advance. “And I will remember.”
“All right, you can go.” He sighed. “You can stay with them as long as you wish—for a month or whatever … ” He trailed off.
“Thank you. Maybe there’s still a part of you in there that is human.”
“I think you brought it back.” He offered a small smile. “When are you leaving?”
“Tonight. It’s Christmas Eve, after all.” She muttered a final thank you and picked up her bag. She looked back before leaving the room, awkwardly making eye contact. She recognized pain in his eyes as she left the castle—and Leon.
Chapter 31
Leon
Leon watched her go and was filled with both happiness and dread. She would forget him over time, even though she said she wouldn’t. It was the will of the castle. It began with vague memories, to eventual complete memory loss. It was probably for the best. Though, for once, something had filled his heart with more than just blood. Anna gave him power and physical life, but she also gave his soul life. He wanted more than anything to hold onto that. He couldn’t let it go, but he had to let her go, for her own sake.
For the first time in a long time, he prayed that night in his study. He prayed for her safety and for her to return.
He knew then, as he awkwardly held his hands together and prayed for the first time since his turning, that he loved her, and it was that which had changed him. They hadn’t had much time together, but for him their time had meant everything. She was different from everyone else; she had an old soul that mirrored his.
He assumed she would never come back. Why would she? Then again, it depended how long she stayed away, how long the castle had to work its magic. He was a monster, and just as predicted, she wouldn’t last. Nor would he go after her. He now prided himself on having some kindness in his heart. If he did love her, as he believed he did, letting her go was the right thing to do. Love is not selfish, it is doing thing selflessly in the hope that you can make the other happy. He wanted her to be happy, more than anything.
Quickly, he found a pen and paper and sat down to write her a letter he suspected she would never read. He wrote down all the words he wanted to say to her but didn’t have the courage to. For a man with so much time to reflect on himself, he had never taken the time to share his feelings with someone else. He wrote the letter swiftly, the words pouring out as if he had recited them. She might never read it, but he wanted to write it regardless. It made him feel better to get the words out.
Luna emerged in the hallway and followed him as he walked to Anna’s bedroom. He quietly placed the note bedside her bed on the small table.
“I’m sorry, Luna,” he said as if the dog could understand. She looked up at him and breathed heavily. “She had to leave. It’s Christmas Eve, she belongs with them. I hope she will be back, too.”
Leon sat on her bed for a moment before he grew tired and eventually fell asleep. Luna curled up beside him, and they slept.
Chapter 32
Anna
“So, you think you can open the store for me again?” her father asked as he placed a hot plate of eggs in front of Anna. His smile was pleading.
“Well, yeah, but … it’s
Christmas. Can it wait until tomorrow?” She had only just got back, and as much as she loved the store, she needed a day. She was enjoying the quiet morning with her family.
“Yes, of course, silly. But Gwen’s been using it to meet with her new boyfriend,” he teased and glanced her way. Effie giggled, kicking her feet against her chair. There were pieces of egg spread around her, everywhere except her plate.
“It was one day, Dad! Henry just came to see me.” Gwen glared. “And he helped.”
“Henry?! Like Henry Tolkien?” Anna was surprised. He didn’t seem her type but Gwen blushed and tucked a blond curl behind her ear.
It appeared to her that she had missed a lot while staying at the castle. When she showed up the night before they were all surprised to see her, and began dumping all kinds of information on her before she could even walk in the door. Gwen had opened the front door and squeezed her into a long hug before pulling her inside and chatting away about the bookstore and how she had successfully picked up Anna’s chores.
Maybe they were okay without me, she thought, at the same time knowing she needed to stop beating herself up. Her father was happily doting on his daughters, Gwen had a boyfriend, and Effie was swimming in stuffed animals. The only one who wasn’t happy was her. Her time at the castle had made her face realities of the world she never believed possible.
She knew her family noticed a difference in her, too. She could see it every time they looked at her. She was no longer the naive and blissful Anna that she used to be.
Reflecting, she realized she’s gotten a lot more than she had bargained for when she accepted the job. But, nonetheless, her family received a nice payment once a week.
“Anna, what are you thinking about?” Effie sat across from her at the kitchen table and pushed Dog toward her with her ghostly hands. “Give Dog a hug; he missed you, too.”
Anna smiled and took ahold of Dog. Surprisingly, he was still soft. The time Anna was gone was just enough for the stuffed animal to get dirty and torn like Effie’s stuffed animals usually did. Somehow, Dog survived.
“So, Anna, did you meet Leon Senior?” her father prodded between mouthfuls of bacon.
“Oh, yeah. He’s nice,” she said but changed the subject quickly and turned to her food. “How has home been?”
“Very dull without you, sweetheart,” he said with a smile. “Effie, are you okay?”
The little girl, giggling a moment ago, had suddenly turned pale and sickly. Her father got up and pulled Effie to her feet. “I’m going to put her down for a bit. She’s been like this quite a lot lately. I might have to bring her to a doctor soon.” The pair trudged to the hallway and disappeared.
Anna turned to Gwen. “What’s wrong with her?”
“I don’t know. She’s been off.” Gwen got up from her seat and began cleaning the table.
“I’m sick, too,” Anna said, though it was hard to form the words. But she had wanted to tell someone, to talk about it to someone else other than Leon. She never thought anything like that would happen to her. The thing is, she realized, you feel invincible until you’re not.
“What? What’s wrong?” Gwen studied her for a moment, looking for signs.
“I’m diabetic, I think.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s like ... a disease that affects the sugar in my blood. My body can’t break it down—or breaks it down too much. I tried to come visit here one day, but I passed out on the way.”
“How did you get back to the castle? Are you okay?”
“Well, Leon came and found me.” It felt weird to say his name, it carried so much weight. “He’s been helping me. So, I mean, I guess I am okay, but I should see a doctor eventually. Just don’t tell Dad.”
“Okay.” Gwen smiled.
Anna opened her mouth to say more but stopped. To both her horror and pleasure, she could remember everything about the castle. The problem was she couldn’t put it all into words to explain to anyone else, even her sister.
About a month and half had gone by since Anna returned home. Her melancholy at the beginning had alleviated and she was falling back into the rhythm of home.
“Go fish!” Effie cackled across the table to Anna.
That rhythm included a couple of things, like the occasional card game night around the kitchen table.
“Effie! Come on ... you definitely had a two!” Anna sighed. “Is there someone at the door?” Anna heard a faint knock outside.
“I don’t think so,” her father replied. “We aren’t expecting anyone. Gwen, do you have any fours?”
“Yes,” Gwen moaned. “I have three of them! Well, had three, thank you very much.” She handed them over reluctantly.
They turned around at the sound of another, louder, bang outside the door. “Gwen, can you check what’s going on?” Her father’s face was white.
“Should we?”
Anna was confused. “What’s going on?”
“They have been rounding up whoever is left, talking about Jewish doctors but I don’t believe it.” Gwen got up and tugged at the closed curtains. Anna followed behind.
“Gwen, there is no need to worry about Effie. She’s been safe with us so far.” Her father stood up from the table and walked over to her, so Effie would not overhear.
“Yes but the history is on public record. If someone wanted to badly enough, they could come take her with the right papers or a good excuse. Or it could be you, Anna. ” Gwen mumbled, looking at the ground.
“Me? What for?”
“Someone came here for Effie, to bring her to a doctor. They found out Effie was sick, and I—I told them it was you, Anna.” Her eyes were watering—or sparkling, as Effie would say. “They aren’t just resettling Jews anymore, Anna. It’s Jews, the sick, the old, the Christians who are too Christian. They won’t care that you’re not. They’ll take you, maybe even all of us. I have a bad feeling. Things have gotten worse since you left. The attacks … ”
There was another knock on the door and Gwen opened it cautiously. Anna peered through the door behind her.
Outside the threshold stood Walter Volk and a few of his colleagues.
Walter didn’t say a word, but he didn’t have to. There was a cruel grin plastered on his face. The other officers came in, grabbing the four family members by the arms, making it impossible for them to resist.
Will they notice my absence? Anna wondered in her cramped spot. Will anyone look at my empty seat the way I looked at Joe’s?
There was a whole new realm of thoughts flooding her mind. Poor Joe had been dealt the worst hand life had to offer. He had suffered at the hands of men and monsters. But then again, which was worse? Or better yet, what was the difference between the two? She wasn’t so sure anymore.
The whole train groaned as it started to slow, so much that it was impossible to make the distinction between people and vehicle. Everyone was shifting in their seats as the doors opened, letting sunlight flood the train car. People stood, trying their best not to knock into anyone, but the close quarters made that difficult. There was yelling outside, and people started pushing forward out of the car, like scared cattle. David, Anna, Effie, and Gwen were a few of the last to leave.
Outside the car was chaos. There were hundreds of people being pushed this way and that. The only things that remained still were the buildings. They did not move, they did not speak, they only watched.
Anna read the sign above it all: ‘Auschwitz.’
The name sounded vaguely familiar; though, she couldn’t quite put together what she’d heard about it. But the feeling the name gave her …the feeling was dreadful. It washed over her like boiling water, burning its way as deep into her as it could reach.
An officer came to them with a clipboard. “How old are you?” he asked gruffly.
“Well, I’m an old man. This one is four and the other two are seventeen,” her father coughed out.
The officer nodded and wrote something down. He looked at Gwen and A
nna, studying their likeness. “You two twins?”
They nodded in unison and grabbed each other’s hands. It was the first time they had done so in years. Suddenly, though, it felt like only hours had passed since they were young girls.
“All right, you two come with me. Old man and the girl—follow that line.” The officer pointed left towards a large group. Anna locked eyes with a woman who looked to be about sixty-five and no more than one hundred pounds. She was searching frantically for something, or someone. But she wasn’t the only one. The likeness among the group was that same gaunt, distraught face—made even more heartbreaking by the fact that they were either children or the elderly.
“But we—” her father began, “—I don’t want—no I can’t—leave them—”
“Go, else it will only be the child who goes. Fischer!” The man yelled to a fellow SS man. “Bring them.”
A burly looking man strode over, pushing through the crowd and roughly pulled away her father and Effie.
At the same time, the other officer grabbed Anna and Gwen’s wrists, which were still clamped together tightly and dragged them in the opposite direction, despite their resistance. Among dozens of cries, theirs meant nothing.
Chapter 33
Henry
Henry waited outside the Klein’s front door with his early Valentine’s Day gift in hand. The sun had gone down and the streets were quiet, typical of a Tuesday night in February.
He had already knocked a few times to no avail. Is she home? Maybe she forgot we were going out tonight. He didn’t want to believe she was avoiding him; they had been having a great time.
Henry did not knock again. Instead he put down the box he was carrying and forced the door open. There was no one inside, but there was a toy on the floor—the bear and dog pair Gwen told him Effie never left without.
A pit formed in his stomach. Walter was working that night. But why them? Why didn’t he tell me? He crushed the flowers in his hand before throwing them on the floor and running back to his house to get his parents’ car.
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