“That bad, huh?” Gwen joked.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“We’ve been talking about moving closer to you.”
“You’re thinking of moving east?”
Gwen nodded.
“Well, you never were predictable,” Carrie said.
“Predictable is boring.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”
“Worried your father will corrupt Devon?”
“With what? Golf? As long as he doesn’t convince her to name any children, Babe, I’m fine.”
“Get it in writing,” Gwen suggested.
“Mom, I would love you to be closer…”
“But?”
“Well, most people move to warmer places in their retirement; not to New England. And, I hate to break it to you, but Dad’s going to have to become inventive if he thinks he’ll be golfing year-round.”
“I’m sure he’ll find something to occupy his time.”
Carrie wasn’t sure how to respond. Her thoughts immediately traveled to her twin brother and his family. It’s not as if she’d proposed the idea to her mother. Somehow, the possibility of her parents moving away from Ford to be closer to her made Carrie feel a modicum of guilt. “What about Ford?” Carrie wanted to know. “Have you said anything to him? I mean, Grayson has had you close his entire life.”
“Ford understands,” Gwen replied. “I think he might be contemplating a move himself.”
“To where?”
“East.”
“Okay. I know I am missing something.”
“No. I think it’s us who are missing you,” Gwen said. “Your brother included.”
“Mom, the whole family is in California.”
“Not the whole family.”
“Except me,” Carrie said.
“You’re a big part of the family.”
“Are you sure you want to move across the country?”
Gwen expected Carrie’s reaction. Gwen had lived her entire life in California. Her siblings were close, many of her childhood friends still lived nearby. She’d considered the implications of moving. It would constitute one of the significant change in her life for many years. It was a change that she wanted to make. “I’m positive.”
“I’d love to have you closer. I’m surprised, though. I…”
“We miss you,” Gwen said. “I had the chance to watch Grayson grow and change all these years. I’d like to have that time with my granddaughters.”
“What about the house?” Carrie wondered.
“Gabe is interested in renting it.”
Gabe was Carrie’s cousin. She and Ford had spent many holidays and summers creating mischief with Gabe and his brother, Derek. “Really?”
“It’s not easy,” Gwen said. “Affording a home there. You know that. Honestly, I don’t know how people manage these days. That apartment he and Jen have been renting is too small for four people. The kids need space to play. It’s a perfect arrangement.”
“When are you thinking about making a move?”
“Well, Gabe’s lease runs out at the end of October.”
“That soon?”
“Too soon?” Gwen asked.
“No, not at all. As far as I’m concerned, today wouldn’t be too soon.”
“Really?”
“Of course.”
“I’m glad you feel that way.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“You’ve had your space from us for twenty years.”
“You know, I’ve thought about moving home many times. Dev and I even talked about it.”
“Carrie, if you left Connecticut for California, you’d be leaving home, not going home.”
“I’m not sure I’d say that. Both are home, just in different ways.”
“I hate to ask this.”
“What?” Carrie wondered.
“Your father and I will need to find someplace here. One of us will need to spend some time…”
Carrie grinned. “I’m sure Jillian will let you or Dad stay as long as you need.”
Gwen blinked.
Carrie’s laughter filled the room. “I’m kidding. You can stay anytime as long as you need to.”
“You might want to consult your wife on that.”
“Devon?” Carrie dismissed the thought. “Devon will be thrilled to have someone else who supports her pizza obsession, someone older than CJ.”
“And you?”
“I told you; I’m happy to donate diaper duty to a good cause.”
Gwen rolled her eyes. “Guess your dad will be making most of the trips.”
Carrie’s laughter swelled. I love you, Mom.
***
“I thought you were playing homemaker?”
Devon turned slowly to the sound of a familiar voice.
“Don’t look so happy to see me,” Leigh teased.
“Leigh,” Devon greeted the woman evenly. “Stephen stepped out for lunch.”
“Why? He couldn’t find something suitable in your kitchen?”
Devon silently reminded herself that Leigh was a client—a lucrative client. Every statement the woman made seemed to carry innuendo. It made Devon both uncomfortable and irritated.
“I’m just teasing.”
Devon nodded. “He should be back in a bit.”
“Actually, I’m glad I found you here,” Leigh replied.
“Leigh…”
“Oh, come on, Devon. I’m not the devil.”
Devon raised her brow.
Leigh laughed good-naturedly. “Or maybe I am.”
“You said it.”
“Are you going to hate me forever?”
“I don’t hate you.”
Leigh put a hand on her hip. “What would you call it?”
“I don’t trust you.”
“Let me buy you a drink.”
“You can’t be serious,” Devon replied.
“It’s just a drink, Devon.”
“It’s never just a drink.”
“Maybe not, but I promise; I’m not trying to seduce you—this time.”
Devon wasn’t sure how to respond to the bluntness in Leigh’s response.
“One drink, Devon.”
“It’s two in the afternoon.”
“And?” Leigh smiled. “Don’t you think it’s time we cleared the air between us?”
Devon let out an exasperated sigh, scratched her brow, and tossed the pen in her hand on the hostess stand. “You’re buying.”
“At your bar, so you get the profits,” Leigh surmised.
“Exactly.”
“Fair enough. I pick the wine.”
“I think I’d prefer whiskey.”
The howl of delight that erupted from Leigh’s mouth made Devon giggle.
“Whiskey it is, Devon,” Leigh said.
***
“Mommy?”
Carrie looked up from the kitchen counter. “Well, when did you get home?”
“Me and Grampy gots some fish.”
Carrie was perplexed. I’m not sure I want to know what that means.
Eddie strolled into the kitchen and held up a plastic bag.
“Goldfish?” Carrie asked.
“I hope that’s okay,” Eddie said.
Carrie glanced at CJ and had to remind herself not to laugh. CJ’s pleading gaze could melt Carrie’s resolve in an instant. God, help me if your sister masters that too. “Where are we going to put your new friends?” Carrie asked.
CJ brightened. “Grampy gots me a bowl!”
“Of course, he did. What are you going to name them?” Carrie asked.
“Luke and Leia,” CJ replied.
Why should I be surprised? “A boy and a girl?” Carrie asked.
CJ shrugged. “I dunno. Look.” She pointed to the bag her grandfather held. “They be twins! Like you and Uncle Ford.”
Carrie moved closer to inspect the prize her father held. The fish did look nearly identical. “Which one is Luke?�
�
CJ pointed to one of the fish. “Him.”
“How can you tell?” Carrie wanted to know.
“See? He has a spot on his tail.”
“So, he does.”
“Can I keep them in my room?” CJ requested.
“Are you going to take care of Luke and Leia?”
“Yep. You can only feed them a pinch, Mommy; ‘member?”
“I do remember,” Carrie said. She’d been reading One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish to CJ since CJ was a baby.
“We can show DJ!”
“Well, let’s get Luke and Leia in their new home first.”
“Can I read it to her?”
Carrie shook her head in confusion.
“The one fish story,” CJ explained. “For bedtime.”
“When DJ goes to bed tonight, you can read her the story,” Carrie promised.
CJ clapped and jumped up and down.
“Okay,” Carrie started to calm her daughter. “First, let’s get these Jedi settled.”
“I can help CJ get these two settled,” Eddie offered.
“Good, because I feel I need to change tonight’s menu.”
“Why?” Eddie asked.
“I suddenly feel strange about serving fish.”
Eddie sniggered. “Sorry about that.”
“No, you’re not,” Carrie said. “I smell a conspiracy.” She looked between her father and her daughter. “One that involves me agreeing to pizza—again.”
Eddie held up his hands. “Never entered my mind.”
“I’m sure.” Carrie kissed CJ’s head and rolled her eyes at her father. “I need to call Devon.”
“Have her get pepperoni,” Eddie poked.
Carrie shook her head as she left the room. Be careful, what you ask for, Dad. Fish? Now, we have fish.
***
“How’s the whiskey?” Leigh asked.
“Expensive.”
“In other words, good?”
Devon raised her glass, took a sip, and set it down again. “Let’s have it.”
“You haven’t finished that one yet,” Leigh quipped.
Devon was not amused.
Leigh set her wine glass on the table and sighed. “I’m sorry, Devon.”
“You don’t owe me an apology.”
“Yes, I do.”
“No.”
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“You didn’t. You hurt Kit.”
“I should have told you.”
“That you were sleeping with my brother when you took me to bed? Yeah, that might have been nice.”
“Devon, I didn’t think…”
“See, that’s the thing; you don’t think.”
Leigh licked her lips. Denying Devon’s accusation was pointless. Devon was right. Leigh often acted before thinking. She’d been accused more times than she cared to count of having an agenda in every action she took. She often thought people would be shocked by her impulsive nature. Leigh was accustomed to winning. When she saw something she desired, she pursued it unfailingly. It was that simple. Leigh coveted something; Leigh persisted in attaining it. Failure was not an option.
“What do you want?” Devon asked pointedly.
“Why do you assume that I want anything?”
“You can’t be serious.”
“For starters, I’d like to put the past behind us,” Leigh said.
“It’s not me who struggles with that,” Devon pointed out.
“You think I’m trying to get you back into bed?”
“I don’t know what you are trying to do,” Devon said.
“That was a long time ago.”
“It was,” Devon agreed. “It caused a lot of pain in my life.”
“I didn’t know Kit took our time together that seriously,” Leigh said.
“Well, he did. And, it took a long time for him to forgive me.”
“Forgive you for what?” Leigh asked.
“For sleeping with his girlfriend.”
“Devon, Kit and I were not exclusive.”
“Not in your mind.”
“No, not at all,” Leigh said. She took a sip from her wine glass to steady herself. “Kit wasn’t only sleeping with me.”
Devon stared at Leigh.
“I don’t know what he told you, but he was seeing at least two other people that I know about back then; and, by seeing, I mean that he was sleeping with them.”
Devon felt sick. Her older brother, Kit had always held a special place in her heart. For most of her childhood, Kit had been her hero. She and Leigh had collided a few times over the years. Eventually, the pair had landed in Leigh’s apartment; more specifically, in Leigh’s bed, her shower, her living room, every nook and cranny of the space they could manage. Devon had not regarded their night together as anything beyond a sexual liaison. Leigh had made overtures, attempting to entice Devon for a repeat performance. Devon had been on the brink of acquiescing when her older brother entered the mix.
Kit appeared at Devon’s door, angry and hurling accusations at his younger sister. Devon hadn’t seen her brother behave erratically in years. Initially, she thought he’d fallen back into using drugs. After his tirade, he’d collapsed on her sofa in defeat asking how Devon could betray him. How could she sleep with the woman he loved? Devon had been floored. She pleaded with him to believe that she had no idea he and Leigh were involved. Then, Devon’s guilt turned to anger. Leigh knew. Why would Leigh pursue Devon?
Devon’s inclination as she looked across the table at Leigh now was to dismiss Leigh’s claim as nonsense. An indistinguishable expression in Leigh Matthews’ eyes told Devon that Leigh was being honest. “I don’t understand,” Devon admitted.
“Neither did I,” Leigh replied. “He’d made it clear that he didn’t want a relationship.”
“And you did?”
“I’m not the relationship type,” Leigh confessed.
“Ever try it?” Devon asked.
“You don’t have enough wine in this restaurant to hear that story,” Leigh quipped. “Look, Devon, I know what you think of me.”
“What’s that?”
“That I’m selfish and manipulative.”
Devon wasn’t sure how to respond.
“Maybe I am both,” Leigh said. “I don’t lie,” she continued. “I don’t lie to the people I sleep with, I don’t lie in the boardroom, and I don’t lie to the people I care about.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I like you, Devon. I always liked you.”
“Leigh…”
“That wasn’t intended as a come-on.”
Devon nodded.
“I’d be lying to you if I said that I wasn’t disappointed when you never wanted to see me again.”
“I couldn’t.”
“You wouldn’t let me explain.”
“He’s my brother, Leigh.” Devon massaged her eyes. “Why did he tell me you were involved?”
“I don’t know,” Leigh said. “I could make a guess, though.”
Devon was surprised by her response. “Let’s hear it.”
“Devon…”
“No, please.”
“Kit was a friend for a long time before we ever slept together.”
“Really?”
“That surprises you?”
“Kind of; Kit spent a lot of years wrestling with addiction. He didn’t exactly travel in professional circles.”
“Mmm. Neither did I.”
Devon had to shake her head to clear her growing confusion. By all accounts, Leigh Matthews came from a prestigious family, and aside from her bedroom exploits, Leigh had a reputation for being smart, savvy, and successful in her own right. Devon couldn’t imagine Leigh traveling in the circles that Kit once had. Kit was stealing cars, shooting heroin, binge drinking, and breaking into houses. That scenario did not seem to fit the woman across the table.
“It’s a long story,” Leigh said.
“Longer than
the relationship one?” Devon asked lightly.
“Part of the same story,” Leigh answered. “I was young, Devon. I was tired of being told who to see, where to go, and how to look. I found a tribe I thought I could call my own, something that was for me.”
“And, Kit was part of that?”
“Kit was five years older. I was only fourteen when I started hanging out with that crowd.”
“Jesus. Leigh, that wasn’t a…”
“It was rough.”
“I still don’t understand what this is about,” Devon said.
“I remember you back then. You were about twelve.”
Devon nodded. She recalled that time vividly. It was a time filled with some of the happiest and some of the most painful memories of her life. Kit’s behavior had caused tension in the Brine home unlike any Devon had experienced before or since. She remembered the night the police came to the door. It wasn’t the first time. Jillian had watched the police cruiser pull in front of the house. Devon could see her mother’s face as if she were back in the moment. Jillian answered the door expecting to find Kit escorted by an officer. Devon never heard what the police officer said to her mother. All she did remember was Jillian’s face draining of color, and her mother nearly falling to the floor. Kit almost died that night. The anguish and fear from that experience had sent him on a new path; one that saw him determined to change his life. Devon didn’t like to think about that time. It had been full of ups and downs. She’d seen the best and the worst people could offer each other—offer themselves.
“Devon?” Leigh called for Devon’s attention.
“I’m sorry. I was thinking about Kit back then. He was such an asshole.”
Leigh smiled warmly. “Not really. He was lost just like the rest of us. I think Kit always felt he failed you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I do. You worshiped him.”
“He was my big brother.”
“I don’t think he’s ever forgiven himself.”
“Do you still talk to him?” Devon asked.
“Once in a while.”
Devon was shell-shocked.
“I do remember you. I remember you would be in your bedroom window watching for him to come home. He’d always try to seem sober when he walked into the house—because he knew you’d sneak into his room.”
Devon’s eyes welled with tears. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I think when Kit realized you’d slept with me; I think he wanted to end that, Devon. And, he would never have told you about my past.”
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