Taking a deep breath, she passed through the checkout.
Back at her vehicle, Jewell fed Shadow a treat. The smell of the open packet of jerky caused a resurgence of nausea. “This is crazy, Shadow. I need to take this test before I go berserk. Rather than drive home, I’ll stop and fill my gas tank at a station I know has clean restrooms. In a few minutes I can end these silly worries.”
The dog pawed her arm, whining for another treat.
“You can have one after I pump gas and get a key to the ladies’ room.”
At the station she topped off her tank and managed to joke with the attendant who provided a key to the locked bathroom.
Leaving her hat in the cab, she settled Shadow with another treat and entered the restroom on mushy legs. She carefully followed the directions step-by-step. There wasn’t room to pace while waiting out the time. But she hummed and twice washed her hands. Still, it struck a blow when the word pregnant appeared in the square.
A baby. She was going to have a baby.
Fighting dizziness, she stuffed everything back in the pharmacy bag and tossed the damning evidence in the trash can by the door. She returned the key to the office but sat dazedly in her pickup, unable to get under way because she was so rattled.
Shadow lay down and placed his head on her lap, keening as if he knew something wasn’t right.
Jewell absently rubbed his silky ears. It wasn’t that she didn’t think she had what it took to be a mother. She did. Nor was it that she couldn’t afford to support a child on her own. She could. But many in the area were pretty conservative. The lion’s share of her work was out on the range among men. Quite a few were older. She’d had to earn respect and trust as a veterinarian. Some had been slow to accept her. She hated the thought of them talking about her behind her back. And men did gossip.
A man drove in, gassed up his truck and went inside. He came out carrying a pack of cigarettes and detoured by her pickup to tap on her window.
“You okay, little lady?” he asked after Jewell ran down the glass a ways.
“I’m fine.” She offered a weak smile. “Just doing some heavy meditating.”
He tipped his cowboy hat and strode off. She judged him to be a man about her dad’s age. One of the chivalrous kind she had concerns about. And Lordy, how would she explain this to her parents? She was their only child, and they still doted on her.
Not ready to return home to where her answering machine might hold calls from some of those same ranchers she wasn’t prepared to face, she went out to the forest to see the snowy owls.
Shadow fell asleep on the drive. Leaving him, she quietly climbed out and sat on a log she often utilized when counting chicks. Since breeding occurred in May and June, there wouldn’t be new babies. Really, though, today she needed to sort out her own life.
She’d been seated only a few minutes when two owls swooped from the trees, one a black-and-white female, the other her snow-white mate. They circled her, probably to see if she was a predator. Their appearance was a good omen, and seeing them acting so protective of their nests moved her. Snowies were good parents, as she would also be.
This pregnancy was a gift. She couldn’t have Saxon in her life, but by having his child, she’d have part of him. That thought simultaneously lifted her spirits and depressed her. Oh, but she’d have to tell him. Her spirits sank again. When or how presented a bigger problem. Not that telling him would change anything. She’d never tie him down. He had to be free to pursue his career. She needed to assure him his child would have the love and the stability of growing up in Snowy Owl Crossing.
Shadow woke up. Jewell heard him barking. The noise made the owls anxious. They dived at her windshield. Standing, she dusted off the seat of her jeans. Feeling slightly better than when she had first seen the results of the pregnancy test, she went to quiet her excited pet.
On her way home she stopped at a grocery store and bought ready-made salads. She headed to Leland’s with one and phoned Doreen to tell her.
“I thought we agreed you’d make supper and I’d do lunch,” Doreen said.
“I was at the store and thought I’d save you leaving the café today. I have a Cobb salad and I’m parking at his house right now.”
“In that case, tell him I’ll be there tomorrow at one.” Lila’s mom hung up and Jewell was left wondering if she’d stepped on Doreen’s toes. Oddly, the woman seemed to have forgotten that tomorrow was her daughter’s wedding.
Jewell didn’t worry for long, as Leland greeted her quicker than last time.
“I appreciate this, girl. Yesterday Doreen brought me tomato soup. I swear I don’t know why I’m so peaked. I hardly do any work around the ranch.”
“Maybe rest is what you need after raising and selling hay and milo for years. I’ll nab you some of Doreen’s hors d’oeuvres at Lila’s wedding tomorrow and bring them by when it’s over. You kick back and watch TV.”
“And cake? Will you bring wedding cake? Lila invited me, but I’m saving my suit to be buried in.”
“What a thing to say,” Jewell chided. “Eat this and feel better, okay?” She gave him an awkward hug.
The old man waved her away without promising anything.
* * *
THE MORNING OF Lila and Seth’s wedding, the bridesmaids and bride met at Mindy’s hair salon. The minute Jewell stepped through the door, the smell of coffee hit her. She hadn’t been able to tolerate drinking it for a couple weeks, and now she knew why. She needed to break her news to her friends. However, this was Lila’s big day. Calmer for having learned the source of her head and stomach issues, Jewell could wait to share with everyone until Lila returned from her brief honeymoon.
Because she’d been too restless again to sleep, Jewell had pulled pictures of Saxon off his agent’s website and had printed two flyers advertising his concert. The copies she brought along weren’t the first she’d printed. Those ended up splotched with tears she hadn’t been able to control.
She hugged everyone, then showed them the flyers.
“Do we have to pick one?” Tawana asked, peering at both over Lila’s shoulder.
“Wow, he’s hot looking,” Mindy exclaimed, taking her turn viewing the pages.
“He is,” Myra agreed. “I only vaguely remember him since I didn’t go to school here. I just spent summers with my grandparents. I have to trust you all that he’s as talented as he is good-looking.”
“He’s always been super talented,” Jewell said defensively. “Now he has the polish of a major artist.”
“Right,” Lila muttered. “You’d know since you attended his concert back east. You said it was cut short by a storm. But you saw some of it? How was he received?”
“The theater was sold out in spite of an impending hurricane.”
“That bodes well for us,” Tawana said. “How soon can we get these flyers?”
“I have a stack in my pickup,” Jewell admitted.
“Great. We’ll hand them out at the wedding to everyone except Lila, who’ll only have eyes for Seth.” She nudged the bride-to-be and grinned.
Mindy whipped her salon chair around. “Since that’s settled, who wants to be first for roses? No one has said anything about mine. I fixed my hair to show you.”
“Too many things happening, but I noticed and love how it looks. Me first,” Myra volunteered.
Working swiftly even amid all their chatter, Mindy finished by eleven.
“Perfect,” Lila noted after checking her watch. “Let’s head to my place. We should arrive about the same time as our dresses.”
On the drive Jewell began to feel woozy. Myra had specifically mentioned suffering morning sickness. However, Jewell’s bouts came any time of day or evening. Now she worried that something might be wrong with her pregnancy.
The friends conve
rged on Lila’s B and B en masse. Afraid the coffee latte and half a biscotti she’d consumed at Mindy’s were threatening to come up, Jewell detoured to the downstairs bathroom.
Myra, apparently, had the same idea. She laughed. “Liquid runs right through me these days. Gosh, Jewell, you’re gagging. Are you sick?”
“Please let me go in first. Then I’ll explain.” She rushed through the door and barely made it in time to empty the meager contents in her stomach. Instantly relieved, she washed her face and hands, then went out. “Myra, I don’t have anything you can catch. I have to swear you to secrecy, but I need your advice.”
“Sure.” Lowering her voice, Myra drew a cross over her heart. “Hold that thought. I’ll be right out.”
She returned before Jewell had time to reconsider. She plunged ahead with her story, admitting how she’d impulsively slept with Saxon. “He used protection,” she murmured. “But the test was positive and I have symptoms. I need your advice on an OB.” Biting her lip, Jewell watched Myra’s eyes grow rounder. Wishing she’d waited to tell the whole group together, Jewell backed up a few steps and bumped into Lila’s mom, who emerged from the shadows of an empty dining room.
“Sorry,” Doreen said, sidestepping Jewell. “I was checking to see that the table is ready for the reception before bringing in the cake.”
Jewell shifted toward Myra, then stopped Doreen. “I told Leland I’d bring him some of your hors d’oeuvres. He asked for cake, too. Should I take him a slice? You said he needs to eat healthier.”
“Let me take him food. I’ll be packing everything up when we wind down. It’ll be easier for me to swing past his house. Maybe you could take him lunch tomorrow. Sundays at the café are always hectic. Without Lila, I’m shorthanded, too.”
“That’s fine by me. Gosh, I almost forgot I volunteered to board Lila’s dog. I’ll be happy to skip seeing Leland today. So you haven’t replaced Lila yet?”
“No. But Tawana recommended a friend from the reservation. I plan to interview her next week.”
“That sounds hopeful. Well, Myra and I need to go dress.”
Doreen hurried off then, but Myra grabbed Jewell’s arm. “Did she hear us? I love her, but she tends to gossip.”
“We were practically whispering.”
“True. I know we need to go, but I’ll give you the name of my OB. Shayla Archer’s office is next door to Dr. Rice. She’s great. Tell her I sent you.”
“Thanks. Will she judge me?”
“Oh, Jewell. We’ve evolved past such old-fashioned thinking.”
“I can’t help but worry what clients will say when they find out.”
“When do you plan to tell the other Artsy Ladies?”
Jewell took a deep breath. “After Lila gets back. Maybe when we all get together to finalize our jobs for the concert. You know, who sets up chairs. Ushers. Sells tickets.”
“It’s really going to happen. Oh, but...wow, you’ll see Saxon. I’m so sorry, Jewell. None of us had any inkling you were...”
“I didn’t know, Myra. It’s okay. Difficult as it’ll be, Saxon has to be told.”
Myra looked unsure as she mounted the stairs.
“There you two are,” Lila exclaimed. “We thought you’d gotten lost.”
“Side trip to the ladies’ room,” Myra explained, and her explanation wasn’t questioned.
As the clock ticked nearer two, Myra’s mother and Seth’s mom helped the last two bridesmaids into their gowns. Mindy did their makeup, all while the friends’ happy chatter reached unbelievable decibels.
A sharp rap at the door had the group quieting. Rory stuck his head in the room. “Mom, the minister said it’s time to start. Uncle Zeke said the moms up here need to go down and take their seats. But not you. Remember, you go with me when Aaron Younger plays that special song on his keyboard.”
Seth’s and Myra’s mothers slipped out past the boy. Mrs. Odell leaned back to say the bridesmaid escorts were lined up and waiting on the landing.
Each friend hugged Lila, then Rory, as they stopped to pick up their bouquets.
“Mom? Why are you crying?” Rory rushed to her side.
“These are happy tears, honey. I’m so blessed to share this wonderful day with you, Memaw, and all my best friends.” She picked up the lovely cascade of peach roses chosen by her husband-to-be.
“Yeah. And I’m getting a dad. I hear the music. Let’s hurry so you can say ‘I do’ like you did at practice. Then we can eat.”
Laughing, Lila smudged away tears and slid her arm through Rory’s. “Gosh, you’ve grown taller.”
Jewell waited at the door, then preceded them to the landing where they’d watch bridesmaids and groomsmen traverse the winding old staircase, affixed with shimmering satin bows.
Jewell and Eric Odell were first to descend. Looking down, she suffered a wave of dizziness and tightened her hold on Eric’s arm.
“Are you okay?” he queried out of one side of his mouth. “Why you ladies wear killer high heels is beyond me.”
That let Jewell smile and the bout passed. Being first down, she was able to fully experience the wedding pageantry. Yet she suffered a twinge of gloom, because the ritual would never be hers. It was great Lila had found love for a second time, but Jewell knew in her heart now that while she’d be mother to Saxon’s child, they’d be tied together forever, but never through marriage.
Aaron played a standard version of Pachelbel’s Canon in D as a glowing, beaming mother and son made their walk into Seth’s waiting arms.
For Jewell, the rest of the wedding and reception drifted by in a blur. She mingled for a discreet time, then changed out of her finery into jeans. Snagging Rory, she let him know she was taking his dog home with her.
“Aren’t you staying to see Mom and Dad open presents?”
She shook her head. “Tell your mom I have animals in my infirmary. I’ll see her when she gets back from Billings.”
“I’d help with Ghost, but I probably shouldn’t get white hair all over my new suit.”
“I’ll be fine on my own, Rory. I saw him out in the backyard. I’ll take him through the side gate and you can let guests know it’s okay if they want to gravitate out onto the back porch.”
“What’s gravitate?”
“It means they can move this crowded reception out of the cramped dining room,” Jewell said, ruffling his red hair.
* * *
GHOST AND SHADOW hit it off even better than Jewell hoped. She had a call on her clinic answering machine from a rancher who either wasn’t invited to the wedding or chose not to go. He had a mare in labor for what he considered too long. Grabbing her kit, Jewell left the dogs playing in her fenced backyard. Frankly, it felt good to return to a routine.
The mare delivered a handsome colt with only a little help from Jewell and the owner.
Driving home, she rolled down her pickup window and breathed in the cool, fresh air. It probably wouldn’t be fun working through a Montana winter while pregnant. But pioneer women had gone before her. If she went full-term, she figured her baby would arrive around Saint Patrick’s Day. On Monday she’d make an appointment with Myra’s OB. That should calm her concerns.
That night she shared her bed with two dogs.
Shortly before dawn she crawled out and let the bed hogs have the whole mattress.
Her Sundays were generally light. Jewell spent the morning preparing a homemade soup in her Crock-Pot. It’d be perfect to share with Leland since she told Doreen she’d take him lunch. Feeling domestic, she got out her bread maker and soon the smell of baking bread had the dogs awake, clamoring for breakfast.
She fed them and turned them out to play in the backyard.
By noon the soup was done enough to separate into covered bowls. She sliced and wrapped half the l
oaf of herb bread and loaded it and the soup into her pickup.
Partway down Leland’s lane she passed Eddie Four Bear tilling a fallow field. She waved, but he didn’t respond. Glancing in her rearview mirror, she saw he wore big earphones that tuned him out to the noise of his tractor and obviously her pickup, too.
It was quiet around Leland’s house. He often parked his old pickup in the barn, so its absence didn’t mean he wasn’t home. He could’ve gone to church. She hadn’t dropped by on a Sunday before.
Crawling out to make sure he was home, she left the food. She climbed the porch steps and opened the screen to knock. It was such a nice morning she was surprised he didn’t have his door open to let in fresh air.
The door swung open and he stepped out on the porch. He was dressed except for slippers. But he looked pasty white and drawn.
“Jewell. I wasn’t expecting anyone. Excuse the slippers.”
“No problem. I brought you homemade soup and bread for lunch.” She gestured toward her pickup. “Let me fetch it.”
“Do come in. I want to talk to you about something that’s come to my attention.”
He turned his back to go inside, then toppled over, landing with a sickening thud at her feet.
“Leland!” Jewell sank to her knees and rolled him onto his back. She pressed two fingers to his neck and thought she felt a tiny pulse. She set one ear against his chest. It didn’t rise or fall. After a second check of his wrist she barely felt a pulse and knew time was precarious. Lamenting having left her phone in her pickup, she prepared to start CPR.
Their town had a volunteer fire department. A few of the men had gone through EMT training. However, she had no way to reach them. She ripped open Leland’s shirt, settled the heels of her hands midway down his breastbone and began compressions.
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