“When do you plan to muzzle Doreen Mercer? I’d say she already let the cat out of the bag by telling my uncle.”
“Yeah, that’s a problem. She’s appointed herself his BFF. I mean, she has been the most concerned about his health, to the point of delivering him healthy meals. I need to phone her.” Jewell climbed out of the pickup.
“Out of curiosity,” he said, matching his longer stride to her shorter one as they headed toward the entrance, “how long do you imagine you can keep it secret? Won’t it soon be obvious?”
She made a face at him. “You accused me of having time to dwell on my condition. The truth is I haven’t had all that much time to get used to being pregnant. It was only after Myra commented on being happy to have gotten past morning sickness that I started to wonder. Things she described set off warning bells. I swear, Saxon, like you almost said in Leland’s hospital room—we used protection. Any suspicion I might be pregnant wasn’t on my radar.”
“Promise you’ll contact me once you see the doctor,” he murmured, setting a hand on her waist as they entered the hospital.
“Okay. Can we drop the subject now?”
He didn’t look happy but conceded with a nod. Increasing the pressure of his hand at the small of her back, he guided her to the elevator.
His touch, however slight, never failed to send warm tingles over Jewell’s skin. She couldn’t stop picturing what it’d be like if she and Saxon weren’t destined to journey along paths that didn’t intersect. Because the image of a life with Saxon, like his touch, left her heart unruly.
Chapter Nine
Needing to put some distance between herself and Saxon, Jewell stopped short of the elevator. “Saxon, you go on up. I really need to call Doreen. Then I’ll be along.”
“I thought you were too peeved with her to talk?”
“I’m over my mad. She’s Lila’s mom, and Lila’s my best friend. Doreen did sound frantic about Leland.”
“Okay. I’ll stop on four and make sure he’s gone off to surgery.”
Jewell walked over to an empty chair near tall windows in the lobby and punched in the number for the café.
Doreen answered, sounding rushed.
“Hi, it’s Jewell. I got your message. I’m back at the hospital. Leland should be going into surgery soon for a heart-valve replacement. The doctor acts as if it’s fairly routine and Leland will do well.”
“Heavenly days. Thank you for letting me know. From the time Porter came in blabbing about how you’d called the EMTs to Leland’s ranch, I’ve been a basket case.”
“Uh, Doreen, speaking of blabbing... I’m not happy that you overheard my private conversation with Myra the day of Lila’s wedding. I’m less pleased that you told Leland.”
With no hesitation the older woman apologized. “Honey, I’m sorry. Leland seemed so down when I stopped at his ranch with wedding leftovers. He fussed around, positive he’d never see Saxon again even though I said he was coming to do a benefit concert. I thought if he knew you were going to have his nephew’s baby, it’d cheer him. Give him hope, you know? I swear on a stack of Bibles, I haven’t told another soul.”
“Please don’t. Did Porter mention Saxon’s already in town? He arrived early for the benefit. It’s good he did. His CPR likely saved Leland. But at the hospital, Leland brought up the baby. I hadn’t told Saxon, so that caused me a hugely awkward moment.”
“Dear, I feel dreadful about letting the cat out of the bag. Can you ever forgive me? Oh, I hate to cut short our call, but Becky has three orders. Will you let me know how Leland’s surgery goes? And truly...I’m sorry.”
“I’ll call, but it may be late. I’d appreciate it if you keep my secret from the other Artsy Ladies for now, too. I want to wait and tell them all together after Lila gets back.”
“Understood. Mercy, if I can help you in any way, I will. Take care, you hear?”
Jewell put her phone on vibrate and caught the elevator going up.
Saxon met her outside the waiting room. “Dr. Hamlin let me see Leland before they wheeled him into the operating room. He’d had a sedative. Again he thought I was my mother. That’s eerie. I only have sketchy memories of her. There must be a really strong resemblance, but...” He broke off and shook his head ruefully.
“Saxon, it’s plain he really loved her.”
“I’m only trying to make sense of family history I never knew. I was torn up at the time my parents were killed. But you know that since we met shortly after a caseworker located my uncle. We lived in a house in California. My folks must not have owned it. But surely there were family possessions. I only recall arriving here with a suitcase of clothes, a train set and a box of Legos. My case was handled in family court. Someone, maybe a lawyer, arranged my travel. Speaking of lawyers, Leland was still muttering about changing his will.”
“That’s the sedative talking, Saxon. Are you nervous? Why are you pacing out here in the hall? Let’s go sit.”
“Okay. I am nervous. However late I’ve come to recognize it, Leland’s the only relative I have left. And they’re operating on his heart.”
“Of course. I don’t know what to say other than Dr. Hamlin seemed confident the surgery will go well.” Jewell felt guilty for not showing more care for Saxon’s plight. She slid her arm through his but tried to let go after they found seats next to each other.
Saxon maintained his hold, threading their fingers together.
The room was quiet. One other man sat in the opposite corner drinking coffee. They drifted into silence, too.
* * *
SOON SAXON FELT Jewell’s head on his shoulder and he realized she’d fallen asleep. He liked the feel of her slight weight but had to wonder if the other room occupant had seen him smile goofily down at her. Why she fought so hard against their obvious attraction escaped him. Love. Why couldn’t he call it what it was? It was hard to recall a time he hadn’t loved her. Maybe his love had flamed out after he moved to Nashville. It sure rekindled fast and hot the instant he saw her in Maryland. He’d known, of course, that no other woman he’d dated had measured up to Jewell. Or maybe he hadn’t known but the feeling had been there, buried deep.
Her every glance, every touch had said she’d felt it, too.
Wasn’t that proof their feelings for each other, their attachment, had never completely died? It seemed so to him. But could he make her admit they needed to raise the child they’d created together?
He felt on shaky ground and shifted his shoulder so her neck wasn’t so bent.
Her hair tickled the side of his neck. Should he explain how he’d tried dating women over the years simply out of loneliness? None had filled the perpetually empty void in his life like Jewell had. Did she not see it? Maybe not. Since hurtling back into his life, she continually tried pushing him away.
Saxon’s left shoulder and arm were numb from the deadweight of his sleeping companion when Dr. Hamlin, still wearing scrubs and blue booties over his shoes, breezed in. He bolted upright quickly in anticipation of hearing what the doctor had to say, and the sudden move jarred Jewell awake.
Hamlin swung a chair around and sat. “It took three hours, but the surgery went well. Considering he’s almost seventy, and given how long he’s ignored this problem, his arteries and veins looked pretty damned good. He’ll be in recovery another hour or so and will return to ICU for a few days before I transfer him to a ward. From there his speed of recovery will dictate when I send him home.”
Jewell yawned and rubbed her eyes. “Why ICU again?”
“For closer monitoring. It’s standard after heart surgery. If recovery proceeds as I expect, he’ll spend three days there and another two or three on the surgical ward.”
“Can we see him again tonight?” Saxon asked.
“Just you. And only long enough for him to
see you waited. During his sedative babbles, he expressed concern that you’d leave town and we’d relegate him to the hated rehab facility. I’m new here, but I intend to investigate the two places routinely used. Members of a community need to have confidence in their follow-up care.”
“I said I’d stay and I will. I didn’t see a cell phone in his room or I’d program in my private number.”
“He’s old-school,” Jewell murmured. “He has a house phone but no cell.”
The doctor accepted her explanation. “Are you staying at his ranch?” he asked Saxon. “I have that phone number. It’s on his chart, too.”
“I hate to barge into his house until he’s there. I...uh...may see about a motel. Or, Jewell, didn’t you say Lila owns a B and B?”
“She does, but she’s on her honeymoon for two more days. I have Leland’s house key. Remember, I locked up when we left.”
Saxon frowned. “I’ll think about staying there.”
“If not, give your contact number to the staff at the ICU nursing station,” Hamlin said. “I never plan on problems. Occasionally they arise. Well, I missed supper, so I want to run downstairs and grab something before I dictate his operative report.”
“If I can’t visit Leland tonight, I’ll go on home,” Jewell said, rising herself as the doctor restored his chair and left the room. “Saxon, tell Leland I’ll check on him tomorrow.”
“Okay. Hold on, though.” He snagged her hand. “I know it’s asking a lot since you’re exhausted, but I’ll stay at the ranch if you let me in and go in with me to see what’s what.”
Jewell bit her lip and rubbed her temples.
“Uh... I know you’re tired, and I know you’re avoiding coffee, so you wouldn’t stop for that reason. The truth is I don’t want to go inside and find my old bedroom has become a storage room. I wouldn’t expect you to stay long, although he used to always stock soda and milk. Neither one of us finished our food in the cafeteria. It shouldn’t take long to fix something. Please. What do you say?” He smiled a coaxing smile.
Jewell pursed her lips. “Okay. But... Oh, never mind. I’m sorry I used you as a pillow.”
“I’m not. I’ll offer my shoulder anytime.”
“Stop it, Saxon. We need to keep our distance. Otherwise I’m not going to go with you to Leland’s ranch.”
Saxon rubbed his shoulder as it was getting its feeling back. Biting down on all he wanted to say, he simply nodded.
Another surgeon came in and spoke to the other man who’d been waiting. They went out together, leaving Jewell and Saxon alone.
She fidgeted. “How long, do you suppose, before Leland’s out of recovery? Should you tell someone in ICU that Dr. Hamlin said you could visit him for a minute?”
“Hamlin said an hour or so. I saw a row of chairs outside the ICU. We can go down there and I’ll check in. That way we’ll be close if he comes back early.”
Jewell was at the door by the time he finished speaking. “Since you have to wait a while yet, I’ll go down to the lobby and make some phone calls. I didn’t get back with Tawana. I promised Doreen to call her after the surgery. And I should touch base with the others in my group. They’ve probably heard you’re in town. Gossip travels fast.”
“Does it matter who all knows? I want to keep a low profile.”
“Well, you’ll want to see the setup at the Grange Hall. There’s a small, movable stage. The Cattlemen’s Association frequently books live bands to play for dances, but you may need more speakers. You can reconfigure what we tentatively laid out. With Leland in the hospital, feel free to arrange taking a gander at the facility whenever it’s most convenient for you. I’ll see who has the key.”
“That works for me. Does the high school have any small instrumental groups who play country or country rock?” he asked as this time they took the stairs. “I thought if they do, maybe a few kids would be interested in playing backup for me.”
“Saxon, that’s brilliant. I remember how you and a couple of other guys who played banjo and fiddle had to search for opportunities. I know the high school principal. I can give him a call, or you could run by and see the music teacher. School doesn’t start until after Labor Day, but staff goes in early.”
“Thanks, Jewell. You always came up with something. If you hadn’t found gigs for Toby, Colton and me, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I haven’t thought about those dudes in years. Are they still around? Do they still play?”
Her face fell. “I’m sorry to say Colton joined the army and he died in Iraq. Toby’s a calf roper. He’s usually off at some rodeo.”
“Now I wish even more that I hadn’t let your mother steer me away from staying in contact with you. I was raised here. You gave me my country roots. Dang it all, I have too many chunks gone out of my life.”
He sounded dispirited, leaving her at a loss as to what to say. Offering a quivery smile, she fell back on something she told herself to remind her why she couldn’t have her work in Snowy Owl Crossing and Saxon, too. “Things happen for a reason, Saxon. We both have the careers we always wanted.”
“Yeah.” He hooked his thumbs in his back pockets.
It wasn’t lost on Jewell that he’d said that without enthusiasm. And when he abruptly excused himself, saying, “I’ll stop here on four and meet you in the lobby later.” Jewell worried that her casual comment had hurt him. That was the last thing she wanted to do. Unfortunately, a core piece of her heart would always belong to him.
* * *
ABOUT ONE HOUR LATER she spotted Saxon exiting the stairwell. His timing was perfect; she’d just signed off her last call. Her friends were sorry about Leland but happy and relieved to hear that Saxon was in town. Tawana had more questions than the others because of the rumors she’d heard on the radio. Far from ready to admit she was the old girlfriend being mentioned, Jewell did admit she was aware Saxon was taking extra time off to write new songs and, in so doing, planned to stay and help Leland after he left the hospital. If Tawana’s favorite country radio station dug deeper and found her name or anything, she’d let Saxon have his people squelch that.
“Hi,” she said, standing to pocket her phone when Saxon approached. “Did you see him? How is he?”
“Groggy. But he looked at me. I said you had a key to his house, and if it was okay with him, I’d stay there. He tried to squeeze my hand. But by the time I explained I’d bring him a cell phone tomorrow so he could call me whenever he wanted, he was off to la-la land. So I told a nurse that came in.”
“I’ve never been around anyone who’s had heart surgery, but I imagine they’ll keep him pretty sedated for a day or so. Although they get people up fast these days. As his only relative, you’re probably the only one who can visit while he’s in intensive care. You’ll have to keep me informed. I’ll go back to my regular work schedule tomorrow unless you need me for anything.”
“You’re still going to call for a doctor’s appointment for yourself, right?”
“Yes. Shall we head out now instead of standing here discussing stuff we can cover at Leland’s house?”
Saxon’s response was to pull out keys to his rental vehicle and place a hand on her back as they walked out into a balmy night.
As he’d done on the drive to the hospital, he followed her, staying a discreet distance behind her on the highway. She was grateful not to be blinded by his headlights in her mirrors. But by the time they’d reached Leland’s lane, she felt so weary she wished she hadn’t promised to make this side trip.
In fact, she couldn’t stop yawning and her stomach felt queasy again as she climbed out of her pickup and passed Saxon the door key.
“Are you okay?” he asked when she hung back. He ran a hand up her arm after he’d turned the interior and porch lights on.
Jewell pulled away. “It’s been a long day, and maybe the em
ptiness of this house makes me sad and weary.” She took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s make sure you have a bed made up to sleep in. If you want coffee, you can fix it after I leave. I don’t want anything to eat or drink. I’m anxious to get home to bed.”
“All right. I’ll bring in my duffel and guitars later. So many of our shows start at nine p.m., I’m pretty much a night owl.”
That comment made Jewell smile. “You’re the antithesis of our snowies, then,” she joked, laughing outright when he made a face at her. “We see them out and about at all daylight hours.”
Because they both knew where his old bedroom was in the house, they went straight down the hall.
“Hey,” Saxon exclaimed. “Can you believe the room is the same as when I came by after college graduation to collect my personal stuff?”
“This is the desk where you used to study. Wow, it’s like stepping back in time. Those posters of country stars you put up in high school are out-of-date now.”
“Yeah. Roy Clark, who used to be the guitar sensation, has been replaced by Keith Urban. I saw the Oak Ridge Boys a year or so ago when they performed for someone receiving an award at the Kennedy Center. Some of these others are over-the-hill. I shouldn’t say that. The other day Donovan reminded me there are young guys nipping at my heels.”
“At thirty-one?” She gave a half laugh. “This is new,” she said, running a hand over the bedspread.
“The bed is different, too. I had a twin. This one’s bigger. Do you think he used it as a guest room?”
She shrugged. “Maybe, but he never mentioned visitors. We know you’re his only relative. To my knowledge, until this year when he arranged for Eddie Four Bear and Aaron Younger to work his fields, he never hired helpers.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Saxon said. “I’m grateful to have a bigger bed.”
“Doesn’t surprise me considering the bed in your bus is huge.” Suddenly her mentioning the bed where they’d spent stormy hours making love in the not-too-distant past caused her to blush and stammer out, “C-can we g-go out now? If we’re finished, I’ll head home.”
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