Amasai

by Stevie Rae Causey

  "Wish I could do the same," I muttered under my breath. Nova triggered a memory of me running through the streets of Aythia. I could almost hear the sound of my bare feet beating against the dirt.

  Then another one. I was guiding one of Luka's horses through the crowded streets of the market. It whinnied, bucked, and nearly threw its cart. I whispered softly to her, caressing her muzzle, and she settled, her ears still turned back slightly as we continued through the throngs of people.

  "Born into different worlds," Though her messages still came in visual form, my mind had begun to translate them more quickly the longer we were together. Now it was almost as if she said them aloud.

  She was right, again. Though my ability to navigate the city market was hardly comparable to what we were doing now, and truth be told I'd felt just like the horse had. Frightened, trapped. I'd only kept my cool because she needed me to lead her.

  Oh.

  I patted Nova’s neck softly. "Thanks, pal."

  She whinnied and pressed on, picking up speed. I couldn't tell how much ground we had covered since the morning, but by the way the trees began to blur around us I knew that it had to be quite the distance. Beads of sweat began to gather on Nova’s back, and her nostrils flared with the effort of drawing air into her lungs as she bore me deeper into the forest.

  Confident as she was, and as benign as the woods seemed compared to my imagination, neither of us was eager to spend the night here.

  Still, I was worried she'd ride herself to death. I'd seen it happen to one of the king's horses once. It had been a messenger coming with news of a resistance, who had ridden the beast all night without stopping. The poor thing barely made it past Luka's house before collapsing in the street, dead.

  His rider, consumed with his mission, had simply dismounted as the horse fell, leaving his steed behind in favor of completing his task.

  I remembered being appalled that someone could do that to another living thing. To treat its life with such little respect. To force it to sacrifice itself for something its rider considered the greater good. The thought made my stomach churn. I'd run home, tears streaking down my face and barely made it to the front yard before retching in the bushes.

  The memory was so powerful that I found myself tugging at Nova's mane, urging her to slow down so I could dismount. She slowed her pace, but refused to stop, sensing what I was thinking.

  "Too dangerous," her thoughts filled my mind "Must keep going."

  She was right, of course, even at my fastest speed I couldn't match her pace. Trailing behind her on my own legs would only slow her down, putting us both at risk.

  I was jolted from my thoughts by a blur of motion up ahead. I tapped the side of Nova’s neck, pointing to where I had seen it. She paused, her body tensed in high alert. Nothing. And then, just as she was ready to move on, I saw it again. A large bobcat darted between the trees. I followed its movements with my eyes. It was stalking a large white hart.

  The two seemed to be aware of each other, bounding from one tree to the other, almost as if playing a game. It was natural, and out of place at the same time. Then, just as the bobcat caught up to the deer, it leapt behind a bush and disappeared, replaced by a small girl in a tattered white tunic. Her skin was pale, and her stark white hair glittered in the rays of sunlight that broke through the overhead foliage. Her bare feet barely touched the forest floor as she darted away from the big cat. Her laughter sounded more like music than a human voice. The bobcat picked up speed before leaping into the air. A gasp caught in my throat as the air around it shimmered. The bobcat shifted, and the body of a boy wrapped his arms around the girl’s shoulders, both of them laughing as they tumbled to the ground.

  “Fairy folk!” a voice in my head said. “Shapeshifters, imposters, and instigators of trouble and chaos.”

  The children rose from the ground, their laughter caught in their throats as the realized they were being watched.

  For a moment we locked eyes, uncertain of what to do next.

  "Wait up, you guys!" A familiar voice called from the depths of the forest.

  No. It couldn't be.

  "Luka?" He had grown taller since we last saw one another, and his shaggy hair had been whitened by the sun. His tunic matched those of his companions, save for the leather belt around his waist which bore the king’s emblem on an iron buckle. His mouth hung agape, matching mine, for what felt like an eternity.

  The other two chittered to one another before taking off into the wilderness. The girl paused only a moment to let out what sounded like a bird call. The sound caught Luka's attention, and he seemed torn.

  "Luka!" I called, "It's me, Lana!" I wasn’t sure how he had gotten so far from home. Had he been looking for me all this time?

  He bit his bottom lip, his eyes shifting between his companions and myself. C’mon Luka! I crept closer, holding out my hand as if he were a frightened animal.

  Wrong move. He flinched, locking eyes with mine. They were different from the eyes I had grown up with. Wild in a way that I had never seen. I was frozen, as if in a trance. All I could do was watch as he and his companions disappeared into the forest.

  Chapter Ten

  “Stop it, Luka! Get off!” Philip struggled to push me off him, but it was no use. I had a good hold on his collar, and my legs wrapped tight around his torso, pinning him down good. It reminded me of the Fall Festival, how we used to wrestle pigs. ‘Cept no pig ever squealed as much as Philip was now. He flailed and carried on as if I’d already hit him, the big baby. He choked on the dust he was kicking up, and milked it for everything it was worth, hacking extra pitiful-like so I’d go easy on him.

  I pulled my right hand back and clenched it into a fist.

  “Take it back,” I said through my teeth.

  “NO!”

  That was his first mistake. By now the other children had circled ‘round us, gawking. It wasn’t often that they got to see a good fight. Not anymore, anyway.

  “Leave him alone, Luka!” A familiar voice shouted from the crowd. Not her again. Why can’t she just stay out of it?

  “Shut up, Gertrude!” I shot back. “This is none of yer business!”

  Philip took advantage of the distraction, swinging his body out from under mine. It happened so quick that I hardly had time to brace myself against the fall. Before I could get up, Philip grabbed my shoulder with one hand and swung with the other, hard. The punch landed square on my jaw, making my eyes water and my mouth taste like copper as blood pooled in my mouth. He wasn’t gonna get the best of me. I smiled impishly before spitting in his face. Not the reaction he was hoping for.

  “Ugh, gross,” He jumped back, wiping his face with the sleeve of his gray tunic. It bloomed red as my blood seeped into the fabric. His Ma would have a fit over the stain. Another win for me.

  That feeling only lasted for a second.

  “You’re just as much of a freak as she was!”

  That was his second mistake.

  I dove hard for his knees, locking my arms around them and taking him to the ground. He kicked at me a few times, barely missing my head, before I saw my opening. I dodged and sank my teeth into his calf.

  “Aieeee!” he yelped, stumbling back and reaching for the wound. I let go, satisfied that I had made my point, and spat another mouthful of blood into the dust for good measure.

  “That’ll teach ya to run yer stupid mouth!”

  The other kids stood, wide-eyed and slack mouthed. No one said a word. Not even dumb Gertrude.

  “And let that be an example t’all of ya!” I kicked up a pile of dust.

  “Philips just saying what we all know,” leave it to Gertrude to ignore my warning. She could never resist a chance to stick her big nose where it didn’t belong. “She was a freak. She’s probably a dead freak, now.”

  My whole body went stiff. It took everything in me not to throttle her too.

  “Don’t think yer safe just ‘caus
e yer a girl, Gertrude. The only reason yer not getting a lashing right now is ‘cause I don’t want to upset Lily.” Her baby sister shied away, clinging to Gertrude’s skirt. She’d always been the quiet sort, but today the look on her face was different than any I had seen before. She was scared. Scared of me. I sighed. “Get on then, ya’ll aren’t worth it anyway. Bunch of idiots.” I glared at Philip one last time, delighting in the way he flinched, before bolting off into the city.

  ***

  Pa was busy with a customer when I stormed into the shop. I kept my head down so as to hide the fist-shaped bruise I felt forming on my face, but there was no fooling my old man. I felt his eyes hot on my back as I made my way past the storefront, through the main living quarters and up the stairs to my room.

  Normally the tiny space felt more like a prison to me than a home, but today it was my sanctuary. Away from the jeers and whispers of the other kids. Away from the whispers and rumors. The only one I had to answer to here was me. And Pa, I reminded myself. My stomach flopped. I shut the door behind me, knowing it was only a matter of time before he followed.

  I flopped down on my cot, pausing to grab something from the table beside my bed before laying down on my back. An old toy mother had made me when I was still small. She called it a ball, but really it was little more than a leather sack stuffed with rice and sewn together with twill. I tossed it in the air angrily with one hand, catching it just before it hit my face. A game I had played since I was small, when my anger got too much to handle.

  “Sometimes people, even very little ones like you, have very big feelings,” she’d said brushing the hair back from my face to examine a black eye that I’d earned in a brawl with the boy down the street. It wasn’t my first. By the time I turned five I was known as the town hellion. People would click their tongues when I ran by, pityin’ Ma for the burden of tryin’ to raise me right.

  It didn’t seem to bother her none, but it drove Pa mad. Every time I crossed the line he’d gain a new gray hair. He wanted to whoop me good, but Ma wouldn’t have it.

  “He’s gonna have to learn, Alison!” he’d said.

  “You don’t learn self-control by being scared into it,” she’d insisted.

  Later, she’d come to my room carrying a bag of rice she’d stitched together. We practiced tossing it against the wall, into a bucket, and then just tossing and catching it over and over. It was soothing, doing the same thing over and over, and before long I felt my anger give way to exhaustion. I never got into another fist fight again.

  Not until today, anyway.

  I sighed, wonderin’ what Ma would think if she could see me now. “’Prally best that she can’t” I muttered to myself. The ball landed hard in my palm and a piece of rice fell from it. I examined the stitching, which had begun to fray over the years. It was strained and coming loose in sections. A reminder of how long Ma had been gone.

  “Come here, boy,” Pa’s voice rumbled over my thoughts, drowning them out. I sighed. No use prolongin’ the inevitable. I slid off my bed reluctantly, letting my feet hang a moment before making a dramatic ‘thunk’ against the wood floor. The weight of anticipation made it feel as if I’d gained a stone, and I had to force my legs to propel me forward as I shuffled off to meet my fate.

  Pa was waitin’ for me at the storefront entrance with his arms crossed. His stern expression was no surprise. The door was shut and latched, and the ‘closed’ sign hung in the front window. I gulped. He’d never closed shop early, not once in my whole life.

  We stood in silence as he looked me over. I tried my best not to squirm under his gaze, but I couldn’t help but wipe my sweaty palms against the side of my tunic. He frowned.

  Then, surprisingly, his face softened. “They were talking about her again, weren’t they?” He took a step forward and lifting my chin with his hand, assessing the damage.

  “I tried to avoid trouble Pa, I really did!” I plead. “I warned ‘em plenty!”

  “You can’t change their minds with your fists, Luka. You know that.” His voice was more sad than angry. Maybe I wouldn’t get a lashing after all. “How does the other guy look? Am I gonna have trouble with his parents?”

  I shook my head, “Nah. He’s roughed up some, but I got the worst of it for sure.”

  “I see.” I felt his disappointment sink into me.

  “Pa,” my voice was hoarse, nearly a whisper. “They called her a freak.”

  “Son, we’ve been over this.”

  “She isn’t a freak dad. I mean, yeah, she’s different. Hard to understand sometimes. Most times. But—”

  “But she’s your friend, and you’re worried about her.”

  The lump in my throat choked off my speech, and I could only nod. It had been months since ‘Lana and her Ma had gone missing. Or run off. I wasn’t sure which it had been.

  ‘Lana had been distant leading up to it. At first it was just with the other kids, and I couldn’t blame her none for that either, the way they treated her. Eventually she started turning me away too. I wondered if I had done something wrong. If maybe she felt I hadn’t done a good enough job standing up for her when the other kids got riled up.

  Her Ma had tried to make me feel better. Said it wasn’t my fault that she’d gone into hiding; but I couldn’t see whose fault it could have been if not mine. Maybe if I hadn’t been trying so hard to lay low with the other kids, she wouldn’t have given up on me too. Why had it been so important for me to fit in with them anyway? Looking back, it seemed like a fool’s game.

  But the thing about games, and pride? I always wanted to win. After a while I stopped coming around altogether.

  Until the night the Elite came home. It was late when the horns rung out announcing their arrival, and I’d had to shimmy out of the covers right-quick to make it to the front of the shop in time for them to pass. As the men rode into the city, the torchlight cast an eerie glow on the uniforms. Uniforms that were stained with blood. My eyes scanned their ranks as they rode past, an act every citizen had become accustomed to doing. The whole town was still with anticipation as loved ones held their breaths, hoping to see a familiar face within the crowd. I remember I held my breath, too. ‘Lana’s father did not ride home that night. The Elite didn’t even bring back his body, which could only mean either capture or treason. When a soldier betrayed his comrades, his body was left for the animals. There was no doubt in my mind that Gareth was an honorable man, but rumors would spread through the town like wildfire by morning.

  I had wanted to run to her right then, but Pa made me wait until morning. Sneaking out past curfew was risky, and business couldn’t afford another scandal on my part. Luka the troublemaker. I tossed the whole night, waiting for the sun to rise. The second it did I hopped out of bed, not even bothering to change into my day clothes, and tore through the town as fast as my feet would carry me.

  I was met with an empty house. There was no sign of ‘Lana, or her Ma.

  It was not long until others in the city took notice of the vacancy. Grown-ups whispered to each other, saying ‘Lana’s dad had committed some sort of act against the crown. There were things said about her Ma too. Things Pa said I was too young to understand. Things like ‘Lana not being Gareth’s natural kin.

  The other kids, who had always had it out for ‘Lana anyway, came up with their own tales. Tales about ‘Lana’s family being Mystic sympathizers, and that she must have been some sort of half-breed. Mutt, they’d call her, when they thought I wasn’t listening. As if she was no better than a street dog. As time went on, they felt less like a group of kids and more like an angry mob and, well, I’d had enough of all of ‘em anyway.

  Rumors being what they are, word about ‘Lana got back to my Pa faster than I did, and I’m pretty fast. But rumors aren’t burdened with the weight of truth, and so they fly faster than a hawk on the hunt. When I got home, Pa sat me down. He made me promise not to start nuthin’ with the other kids. He didn’t want me draw
ing any more attention to us than we were already bound to get, me bein’ friends with ‘Lana and all.

  “It’s not like they haven’t run their mouths about us before,” I argued. “Gertrude and her flock have always had it out for both of us.”

  “This is different, Luka,” Pa warned. “I mean it! No matter what they say about ‘Lana or her Ma you keep your head down and keep your fists to yourself, you got it?”

  “But that ain’t fair! ‘Lana would stand up for me; and her Pa for you and you know it!” I couldn’t believe he expected me to sit back and let them slander the one family who had stuck by us after Ma left.

  “There is more at stake here than their honor!” He leaned forward, putting his hand on my shoulder. I swallowed, knowing what he was going to say next and wishing I was wrong.

  “Gareth committed treason. They all did. They were part of the Alliance,” the way the words rushed out of him reminded me of the way a bellow deflated as it blew air into the hearth. It had the same affect, as I felt something a lot like fire rise up inside of me. The Alliance was a group of rebels working to overthrow King Irving and renew the treaty between humans and Mystics. Befriending a traitor to the crown made you a traitor by association. We couldn’t afford to draw attention to ourselves, because it could mean death. And because of what Pa said next:

  “And so am I.” There was that feeling again. The rising fire. It was different from the kind I had felt before, that came from anger. This one made my skin break out in goosebumps. This one came from pride. No wonder Gareth and Pa had been such good friends all these years. They’d both had their hand in the same pot, stirrin’ it. All those years he’d been hollerin’ at me to lay low and fall in line had been for my own protection.