by Lori Foster
“To annoy me?”
“To get you going before she got away.” Max gave him a wide grin and Daniel laughed. “She cares about you, too.”
Daniel’s smile froze. “You can tell?”
“Lace is a very open person. She’s easy to read.”
“Damn.” Daniel slumped back in his seat and rubbed the back of his neck. “The thing is, she likes me okay, I think. And we’re … compatible in some ways.”
Max gave a sage nod of understanding. “Uh-huh.”
“But I don’t know if she loves me. And if she doesn’t, and I pursue this, I could end up like Dad.”
Max whistled. “You really have been stewing on this, haven’t you?”
“I don’t ever want to be like that. I don’t ever want to forget the people around me and end up living in a void.”
Max let his hands dangle between his spread knees and considered things. After a moment he looked up and stared at Daniel. “I hate to be overly blunt, but you’re being an idiot.”
“Gee, I’m glad you decided to soften that for me.”
“You’re nothing like our father, Daniel. He’s flighty and irresponsible and even though we know he cares, he’s not the type of person you could ever depend on.”
Though he tried to hide it, Daniel was shocked. Max had seldom mentioned their father’s vagaries, and never with such vehemence. But now Daniel realized just how much Max had observed. Trying to make excuses for their father, Daniel said, “He misses Mom.”
“Bull. I’ll bet he was that way his entire life. Just as you’ve been a rock for as long as I can remember. I’ve always known you were there for me. So has Annie. I don’t for a second believe you’d ever forget either of us, so don’t use that lame excuse as a reason not to call Lace.”
“But…”
Max waved him to silence. “You’re miserable now, but you haven’t abandoned anyone. And you never will.”
Put that way, it did seem pretty absurd. Daniel couldn’t really imagine not caring about his brother or sister, even Guy and his father. Or Lace.
“Give it up, Dan. You’re as rock-solid stable as they come and nothing and no one is going to change that.”
“That could be a problem, too, you know. I mean, Lace is so different from me. She probably finds me boring.”
Max puffed up his chest like an affronted turkey. “If you’ve bored her, then you’re an insult to the Sawyers machismo and I’m disowning you as a brother.”
“I don’t mean I…” Daniel floundered, then shook his head. “What I mean is, we’re very different people.”
“Opposites attract. Not a problem.”
Daniel chewed that over, and then shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“Look at it this way. If you’re miserable—and believe me, you are—imagine how Lace must feel. You haven’t called her in a damned month.”
Daniel felt a pain in his heart at the thought of Lace being unhappy. “Why do you think she’s been miserable?”
“Because I for one listen to her show. And I’ve been by to see her. She and Annie have taken to crying in their colas together at that same bar where Annie got picked up by the police. Which by the way, wasn’t Lace’s fault.”
“I know. It was just another example of Annie’s stubbornness.”
“There are a lot of men at those bars.”
Daniel halted his dejected study of his shoes and shot Max a glare. “Your point being?”
“Lace is a very sexy woman. She gets hit on all the time. She and Annie both do.”
Anger propelled him from his seat and carried him to within an inch of Max. “And you just sit there and allow it, I suppose?”
“Nope. That’s why I’ve been hanging out there with them. So I can scare off all the prospects. Though I doubt it was necessary. Not once has Lace or Annie acted interested in anyone.”
That was something at least. “Oh, hell, what radio station is she on?”
Max laughed the entire time he tuned in the station for Daniel, then he bowed. “I have to go. I’ll let you sit here and suffer alone awhile. It’ll be good for your character.”
Max was just through the door when Daniel shook himself out of his stupor and jogged after him. “Max, wait.”
“What?”
“You said you’re thinking of taking another trip.”
“So?”
Daniel crossed his arms over his chest, trying to block some of the cold. “You’re not leaving anytime soon, are you?”
Max looked wary. “I don’t know. Why?”
With a weary sigh and a smile, Daniel slapped him on the shoulder. “Last time you left without telling me. This time I’d like to know first. And if it’s at all possible, I’d like you to hang around for a little while longer. I might need more advice.”
Max studied him, uncertainty written on his face, then he nodded. “All right. Sure.” He started to turn away, and then added, “If I decide to go, I’ll let you know beforehand.”
“I appreciate it. And Max?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. For everything.”
Again Max studied him, then nodded. Seconds later he disappeared down the walk.
Daniel went back into the house, rubbing his arms to warm himself after being outside, clapping his hands against his body. It was damned cold out, but colder still inside himself. He’d done Lace a terrible wrong, treated her abominably, worse than he’d ever considered himself capable of treating a woman.
He loved her, missed her. He wanted to make love to her right now, this very minute, to talk with her and discuss his family and all their foibles. He wanted to argue with her until he was blue in the face and until she lost her temper and then he’d make love to her some more and let her wear him out. He’d convince her—somehow—that all her reasoning on love, and his reasoning, as well, was pure nonsense. They were intelligent people, even though his intelligence hadn’t been much in evidence of late. They would…
His ears suddenly prickled with the sound of Lace speaking on the radio. Damn, he’d been so busy allowing his mind to meander, ruminating on all the ways he intended to fix things between them, he’d missed a good portion of her show. He pulled up a chair and permitted himself to be soothed by her gentle, concerned tone.
“You can’t sit back and wait for things to right themselves on their own, Ally. If you love him, you have to take charge of the situation and tell him.”
The woman, a young woman judging by the sound of things, spoke uncertainly. “I’m not sure how he feels, and now he says he’s being transferred and he didn’t exactly ask me to come with him…”
“So?” Lace’s voice, so sweet and sure and caring, stroked over Daniel, warming him from the inside out. A gnawing ache started in his gut and swelled until he wanted to howl. He wanted to be with her, right this instant, but she continued talking, and he continued to listen.
“Love is always worth taking a chance on. And that means honesty, from both of you. It’s a myth that men are always confident and brazen. Perhaps he loves you, but he’s feeling as vulnerable and unsure of the entire situation as you are. You’ll never know unless you ask. And isn’t it worth the risk of a little heartache, a modicum of embarrassment, to find out? If you just let him leave, you’ll never know, and surely that will hurt worse than the truth, whatever the truth might be.”
The girl’s voice quavered, then finally she said, “You’re right. He did … did look at me funny, kind of watchful, when he told me he’d been transferred. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something.”
“Maybe he was waiting for a declaration of your feelings.” Lace’s tone gentled, became thoughtful, when she continued. “There’s no guarantees in life. It’s so easy to find love and lose it, to mistake love for the wrong emotions. Trying to guard your heart could cause you to lose the one you want. And any good relationship, any lasting relationship, should begin with total honesty. Tell him how you feel, then demand that he do the same.”
>
With new resolution, the woman said, “I will! Right now. And thank you. Thank you for everything.”
Daniel could hear the smile in Lace’s voice, in her words. “Thank you, Ally. I hope things work out, but if they don’t and you want to talk, you know how to reach me.”
“I do. But you’re right about one thing. Knowing will be better than not knowing. If he doesn’t care, I’ll handle it, but at least I’ll be certain I didn’t throw anything important away.”
“You know, Ally, you’re a very smart young woman. I have a feeling you’ll be just fine.”
Both women laughed softly, and then the radio station broke for a commercial. Daniel surged to his feet, innervated with new purpose. He’d heard enough, more than enough. Damn her, how could she say all those things and not believe in love! It was past time the woman began to heed her own words, and he intended to insist that she start right now. He grabbed up his coat, not his warmest but the closest to hand, and went through the house to the garage. If he hurried, he’d catch her at the station. He shivered with the cold as he pulled out of the driveway, then smiled with anticipation.
He had her own words to use against her. She’d argue him into the ground, but the woman wouldn’t dare argue with herself.
*
Lace grabbed up her cape and whipped it on. Tonight’s show had brought her to her senses. She was filled with renewed reason, refreshing anger. How dare Daniel walk away from her—allow her to walk away—without letting her tell him how she felt? Didn’t he want to know?
The thought that until just moments before, she hadn’t even known how she felt flitted in her mind, but she pushed it aside. Her actions were her own, and she was accountable for them, but he had to be accountable for his, as well. She intended to go to him now, tonight. He’d hear how much she loved him if she had to hit him on the head to make him listen. And she’d demand to know if he’d missed her at all, if he wanted to spend more time with her.
All her adult life she’d spoken openly of the pleasure to be found from sexual involvement, but she’d been a fool. Yes, there was pleasure, but it went beyond what she’d thought possible. She loved Daniel, and that made his every touch, even his every look, something special, something that affected her and filled her and became a part of her. She hoped he felt just a little of the same. She suspected he did, and she hoped he wouldn’t rally against it just because of who she was and what she did. She couldn’t change, wouldn’t change, not for him or anyone else. She was proud of herself and her accomplishments, but she wanted him to be proud, too.
If it was at all possible, she intended to find out.
The night was cold and black, the moon hidden behind thick clouds. Lace said good-night to the guard at the front door of the station and headed outside, only to be pulled up short on the front step by a familiar form, a cherished voice.
Daniel stepped out of the darkness and gripped her arms. “I have to talk to you, Lace. Tonight. And don’t argue with me.”
She threw back her head. The wind tossed her cape and she shivered but ignored the discomfort of the cold. “Why not? I enjoy arguing with you. I’d love to argue with you until I’m too old to manage it anymore.”
She waited to see what he would say, what he would do. He stepped closer and the warmth of his body touched her; she could smell his wonderful unique scent, mixed with the smell of the brisk cold and the dampness that hung in the air. It filled her, swirling in her belly and making her ache. She added without thinking, “God, I’ve missed your scent. And your nearness. And you.”
She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, pressing her nose into his throat, opening her mouth against his chilled skin, tasting him, suddenly wanting to eat him alive.
Daniel shook. “Lace…” He didn’t say anything more. He cupped her face, almost roughly, and pulled her mouth up to his. He kissed her until her body felt weak and she laughed.
“I never thought that was true, never thought it could happen.”
He kissed her face, the bridge of her nose, her ear. “What?”
“I thought it was a silly romantic cliché that a woman’s knees would go weak. But mine have.”
“Mine, too.” He kissed her again, his tongue thrusting deep and his hands sliding down to cuddle her bottom, to pull her closer still and support her. “Everything in me feels weak when I’m with you. But strong, too. Like I could take on the world.”
“Daniel…”
Suddenly he stepped back and his hands were on her arms again. To her surprise, he shook her, and his voice was enraged. “You’re not a hypocrite, Lace. You’re intelligent and honest and I insist you stop being so damned stupid!”
“I’m intelligent but stupid?”
“You know what I’m talking about.” He shook her again, and because she was so enthralled by his uncharacteristic display, she allowed it. “You told that woman on the radio tonight to be honest. You told her all about love. You have to believe in love or else you’re lying not only to yourself, but to your audience, to all those people who rely on you.”
Lace stared up at him, bemused, barely able to make out his features in the darkness. “I believe in love.”
His hands tightened and he started to shake her again, then he paused. “What did you say?”
“If you weren’t so busy trying to rattle my brains, you’d have heard me the first time. I love you, Daniel.”
She threw it out there, attached negligently to her other words, hoping the flow of all the words together would make her declaration less conspicuous. She waited, breathless, for his reaction.
His reaction came swiftly, and was somewhat expected. He kissed her, hard, his mouth moving over hers, devouring. He squeezed her tight against him. “I love you, too. Don’t ever do this to me again.”
Lace shoved back from him. “I didn’t do anything to you! You’re the one who played games and pretended and…”
He kissed her again, stopping only to laugh when she lightly punched him in the stomach. “I’m going to kiss you every time you try to pull away from me. You might as well give up. You said you love me and there’s no going back. I won’t let you go back. You’re mine now and I’m going to do with you as I see fit—”
“Ha! From the very beginning, you’ve always done as you saw fit! That’s part of…”
His mouth smothered her words and she ended up laughing too. “I’d cry uncle, but I approve of your methods. Will you marry me, Daniel?”
It had worked the first time, tossing out her thoughts in the progression of other thoughts. This time proved just as successful. Daniel picked her up off her feet and swung her around.
She expected a fulsome agreement from him, given his physical display, but to her surprise, and worry, he set her down and bent low to look her in the eye. The brisk wind ruffled his dark hair and chafed his cheeks. His glasses were dotted with melting snowflakes. “There will be problems, Lace.”
Her stomach twisted, but she was determined to face the facts, to take her own advice and be brutally honest. “I know it. And I can’t promise to change, Daniel. I won’t change. My mother did everything she could to suit her husband, and it left her lost. She wasn’t herself anymore, but she didn’t know who she should be without him.”
His smile was tender and pained. “You’re not your mother, honey, and I don’t want you to change. Ever. I love the woman you are. Don’t you know that yet?”
Her heartbeat slowed, her pulse became sluggish. “You don’t mind what I do?”
“I listened tonight. And I felt proud. And thrilled, because I knew I had you, I knew you couldn’t lie to that woman and tell her all about love unless you believed it yourself. You’ve just been … skittish because of your mother.”
Lace went on tiptoe. “Don’t start analyzing me again.”
“How about I analyze myself instead, then?”
She waved a hand at him, indicating he should continue.
“I’ve been scared to death
of you, Lace. My father fell apart after my mother died, and it was like living with a shell of a man, no life in him, no laughter or caring for anyone but his own grief. He’s still not the same, though he pretends to be. I saw how it had destroyed him, and I didn’t ever want it to be that way with me. I could always keep a distance with women, could put on a show of being social, but I held back so much. Then you showed up and you argued with me about everything and stirred me until I was blind with lust, and still, even though I thought I didn’t like you, I couldn’t put you out of my mind. You obsessed my brain and all my male parts and I hated it.”
“Did you hate me?”
“I was too busy fantasizing over what I’d do with you to hate you. And then you got hurt and it was like taking a sucker punch in the stomach. I got to know you, and everything changed and I realized I didn’t have to worry about falling for you because I didn’t think you’d ever fall for me.”
“You were wrong.”
“I know.” He grinned. “You love me. Max explained it all to me.”
“Oh, to have been a fly on the wall when that conversation took place.”
Daniel laughed, his breath gusting out in front of him in a white cloud. The wind whistled and Lace huddled deeper into her cape. She was cold, but she wouldn’t pull her booted feet from the snow until she’d heard it all. This was more than she’d ever hoped for—and she wanted to commit every word to memory.
“Max can tell you all about it later. But for now, will you come home with me?”
“I have my car here.”
“We can get it tomorrow. Tonight I need you.” His tone dropped, grew husky and seductive. “It’s been a lifetime.”
More like two lifetimes, she thought, those words enough to satisfy her. She turned to go back inside. She told the night guard that her car would be left in the lot, so no one would worry, and walked back out to Daniel. They made it to his home in record time. And minutes after that, they were in bed together, their clothes scattered, their bodies straining together.
Daniel moved over her gently, rhythmically, holding himself in check, watching her face. “Tell me again.”