“Well, two of them just left here,” I said.
“Oh. Lindsey, do the children know yet?” she asked.
“No.” I shuddered at the thought of telling them. “They’re still at school.”
“Those poor children! I just can’t believe it,” she sobbed. “It sounds so ridiculous, someone murdered him? He was a good man, I just don’t understand…”
“I know,” I said. “Molly, I have to get ready to go to the morgue.”
Molly started wailing at the mention of the morgue.
“I’m sorry, Molly,” I said through her sobs. “I really have to go.”
“Wait – we can give you a ride,” she said, blowing her nose. “I want to make sure it’s really Scott.”
Although I loved Scott’s parents, I wasn’t prepared to deal with Molly. She was a very high-strung woman and the thought of being near her now was just too exhausting.
“I’ll just meet you out there,” I said. “I have a ride.”
“Okay, honey,” she said, blowing her nose. “What Henry? Oh – Henry says we should be there around three.”
“Well, I guess I’ll see you then,” I said.
After I hung up with her I called Darcy and left her a voicemail. Then I called my mother.
“What? Oh, my Lord, Lindsey! Somebody actually shot him?” she cried.
I sighed. “Yes, that’s what they’re telling me.”
“Well,” she said. “I’m taking the first flight out. Don’t even think about arguing this one with me.”
I ran a hand through my hair and nodded. “Okay. Let me know when your flight arrives and I’ll pick you up.”
“No, I’ll just rent a car. I’m not going to be an inconvenience and I’ll need one to use when I’m out there anyway. Besides, you have too much to deal with right now.”
I closed my eyes. Yes, I’m now a widow.
“Mom,” I cried softly. “I just can’t believe it. I keep thinking it’s a nightmare and I’m going to wake up any minute.”
She sighed. “Honey, I’m so sorry for the pain you must be feeling. I know how much you loved Scott. Even with everything that was going on.”
I nodded. “I guess part of me still did.”
“Everything will work out,” she said. “I’m going to book a flight and I’ll let you know when I’ll be arriving.”
“Okay.”
“I love you, honey.”
“I love you, too, mom.”
I hung up with her and less than two minutes later, Darcy returned my call.
“Oh, my God, Lindsey, are you okay?”
“I’m still in shock,” I mumbled. “I just can’t believe it. Who would kill Scott?”
“I hate to say this,” she said. “But he may have kept a lot more from you than just his affairs. Didn’t you say he was behind on the bills as well? Maybe he owed someone money and they were tired of waiting…”
“Oh, Jesus, I never even considered that,” I said.
What had crossed my mind was the guy who’d been threatening me. I wondered if he’d killed Scott as a warning to me. I’d even thought of mentioning it to the investigators, but the niggling voice in the back of my head kept warning me to keep quiet. If he did kill my husband, he might also murder my children. I didn’t know who to trust. Not even the police.
“What about drugs?” she asked. “Do you know if he was into any?”
“I guess it’s possible. If you would have asked me two weeks ago, I would have said absolutely not. But after these last few days, I really have no idea.”
After a few more consoling words, she agreed to take me to the morgue.
“Of course I’ll take you. I’ll be over shortly,” she said. “I just have to make a phone call and then I’ll shoot over.”
“Thanks Darcy.”
I hung up, went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My face was puffy from the tears and I looked horrible. I grabbed my makeup bag and started applying some concealer under my eyes, but it wasn’t much help and I soon just gave up. As I washed the makeup from my hands, the doorbell rang.
“Come on in,” I said to Jake, stepping aside. “We wouldn’t want the neighbors gossiping any more than they already are.”
“Fuck the other neighbors,” he said.
I rubbed my forehead and sighed.
“So,” he said. “Are you okay?”
My eyes filled back with tears. “I have to go down and identify my husband’s body,” I answered.
“I figured as much.”
“I just can’t believe this is happening,” I said.
He reached out and brushed a tear from my cheek. “Would you like me to come with you?”
I cleared my throat. “No, thank you. Darcy is taking me.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“Look,” I said, looking down. “Earlier today – it was great, but…”
He tilted his head. “But what?”
“It’s not a good time. In fact, I think we should back off of whatever it is we’ve started.”
He stared at me for a few seconds and then nodded. “I understand. You’re going through a lot of shit right now. You need time to sort things out.”
I shook my head. “Jake, it’s more than that. I just can’t get involved with you. In fact, I shouldn’t have led you on in the first place.”
He frowned. “You didn’t lead me on.”
“But I didn’t say ‘no’ either. That was my fault.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “You haven’t done anything wrong; quit being so hard on yourself.”
I ignored him. “You’re a great looking guy with a lot to offer someone and I’m not ready for anything right now. My kids need to come first, and I just…”
He stared at me through his thick, dark lashes. “Just what…don’t have time for me?”
“I’m sorry. It may sound cold, but my kids need me now more than ever. I have to be there for them.”
“Lindsey,” he said, leaning forward. “You’re in mourning and not thinking clearly. I’ll give you time, but I want you to know, I’m here for you and I’m definitely not going anywhere.”
I realized he wasn’t really listening to me, and that it was pointless to argue, so I just nodded.
He sighed. “Okay, I’m going to call you later to see how you’re doing. Remember, I’m right next door if you need anything.”
“Um…my mother’s flying down and Darcy will be here. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Good,” he said. “Now, about that other problem we talked about. I’m going to take care of it while you deal with this.”
I nodded.
“If you get any more threats in the meantime, let me know.”
I nodded.
His hand snaked out and grabbed my wrist. “Lindsey,” he said, staring into my eyes. “I’m serious as all hell. These guys are probably responsible for Scott’s death. It’s too much of a coincidence.”
“I wondered about that myself.”
“Did you tell the investigators anything?”
I shook my head. “No.”
He released my arm. “Good. Don’t trust anyone else with this information. I’ve already made a few phone calls and found out that Jerry has other family members working in different areas of the police force.”
I rolled my eyes. “Great.”
He nodded. “He has a cousin named Gary and a couple of step-brothers. I’m inclined to believe that Gary might be the guy fucking with you. My informant tells me he’s a real asshole.”
I bit the side of my lip. “I wonder if you can get me a picture of him. I want to see if it’s the guy from the restaurant.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks, Jake. I don’t know what I’d do without your help.”
He squeezed my hand. “I’m just glad I’m able to offer it.”
I nodded. “Well, Darcy should be here any minute. I’d better finish getting ready.”
“Okay,” he said, lean
ing forward to kiss me.
“Please don’t,” I said, placing my hand on his chest.
He touched my stomach with his fingertips and it made my stomach all fluttery. “That’s fine,” he whispered, “for now. But if you think I’m going to walk away that easily, you don’t know me that well. I realize you’re mourning for Scott, but don’t forget the pain he caused you. I’d never hurt you like that.”
“Jake.”
He silenced me with a hard kiss. When he released me, his mouth twisted into a satisfied grin. “See, this isn’t over, not by a long shot,” he said, backing away. “I’m not giving up on you.”
I stared at him, unable to speak, as he turned and went back to his house.
Chapter Twenty-three
Darcy showed up when I was on the phone with my mother.
“Is she coming out here?” asked Darcy as I hung up.
I nodded. “She’ll be here sometime after nine o’clock tonight.”
“Will she need a ride from the airport?”
I shook my head. “No, she’s going to rent a car. She doesn’t want to be an inconvenience, she claims.”
“Sounds like her,” smiled Darcy. “How are you holding up?”
I sighed. “I’m still in shock. The kids will be home in an hour and I don’t know how in the hell I’m going to tell them.”
“I’ll help you,” she murmured, giving me a hug. “You don’t have to do this alone.”
“Thanks.”
“I suppose we should get going,” said Darcy, pulling away.
I nodded and then left a note for the kids, telling them I’d be back soon.
***
On the way to the morgue, I wanted to believe that the detectives had made a tragic mistake. That Scott was busy at work or even hiding out in a hotel somewhere, screwing one of his clients. But when they showed me the body, there was no mistaking that it was him, even with the horrific bullet wound.
“Molly shouldn’t see this,” I said to Darcy in a strangled voice as we walked out of the examining room. “Nobody should have to remember a loved one that way.”
“Isn’t that the truth? Speaking of which – I wonder where his parents are?” asked Darcy, looking at her watch.
“They’re probably getting interviewed by the cops,” I said. “The investigators seem to have this notion that I killed Scott.”
Darcy snorted. “Stupid idiots. They obviously have their heads up their asses.”
“I know…right?” I said, shaking my head. “I tell you what, these last few weeks have been the worst times of my life and it just keeps getting worse.”
She squeezed my shoulder. “I know, hon. I wish there was something I could do.”
“You’ve done more than enough already,” I said.
After verifying that the deceased was indeed Scott, we met with a member of the local church clergy who prayed with us. As we were ending the prayer, I heard Molly’s wails coming from the examining room. Apparently, my in-laws had also verified that it was Scott’s body.
Darcy cringed. “I guess mom and dad have arrived.”
Two minutes later, a distraught Henry helped his wife into the morgue’s “Grieving Room” and we exchanged hugs.
“How could this have happened?” choked Molly, wiping her eyes with a tissue. “Scott was such a good man.”
“I know,” I said as fresh tears filled my eyes.
“Have they found anything out, yet?” asked Darcy.
Henry shook his head. “They don’t have any witnesses and not much to go on. Detective Parker is going to stay in touch with me, however.”
I cleared my throat. I didn’t want to bring it up, but I was curious. “Did Scott tell you exactly why we were separated?”
“He didn’t get into specifics,” said Henry. “But from what I understood, he’d screwed up pretty big, and you needed some space to think things through.”
I nodded, not wanting to bring the sordid details in front of Molly.
“I have to go,” I said. “The children are probably home by now and they need to be told.”
“Of course,” said Henry. “Molly and I were wondering if the children could still come and stay with us tomorrow night? I think having them close will be especially good for Molly,” he said, motioning towards her, although from the look in his eyes, he needed Scott’s children close to him just as much.
“Of course,” I murmured. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
We hugged once more and then Darcy drove me back home. The ride back was somber and I stared out the window, wondering how I was going to break it to the children.
When we pulled up to the house, Jake was in his yard, cutting the grass. He killed the engine when he saw us, but I avoided making eye contact.
“Damn that man is fine,” stated Darcy as she followed me onto the porch. “Every time I see him, I just want to jump his bones.”
I didn’t respond. What had happened between us was one thing I wasn’t prepared to share with her, just yet.
As we entered the house, I could hear Regan on the phone, laughing with one of her friends. What I was about to do tore me apart.
“How do I do this?” I whispered.
Darcy grabbed my hand and squeezed. “You just have to tell them the truth. They’ll certainly hear about it on television, so the sooner they hear about it from their mother, the better.”
“Jesus, I didn’t even think about that,” I said, as we walked into the kitchen.
Regan was sitting at the dinette, smiling into her cell phone and Jeremy was stuffing his face with macaroni and cheese while leafing through a Victoria’s Secret catalog.
Jeremy looked up and closed the catalog. “Oh, hey, mom. Hey, Darcy.”
I forced a smile. “Hi, honey.”
His eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong?”
I cleared my throat. “Regan, honey, get off the phone. I have something to tell you.”
She held up a finger, telling me to wait. Then she burst out laughing at something the caller said.
“Have you been crying?” asked Jeremy incredulously.
Regan’s eyes shot over to mine. “Crap, I have to go,” she mumbled into the phone and then hung up.
I stared at my children, my lips trembling. “I have something very unfortunate to tell you.”
“What?” asked Jeremy.
Darcy grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
“I…um…your dad’s no longer with us,” I said, my voice breaking.
Regan rolled her eyes. “We know that, he moved out almost two weeks ago.”
I shook my head and the floodgates opened back up. “No, kids, your dad, he’s…dead.”
“What?!” cried Regan.
“That’s a lie,” argued Jeremy. “We just saw him last night.”
Regan flung herself at me and I held her in my arms. “It’s true,” I said. “He was killed.”
“Killed?” choked Jeremy.
I held out my other hand and soon all three of us were holding each other and crying while Darcy stood watching, tears streaming down her cheeks as well.
“What happened?” asked Jeremy
We pulled apart and I stared in sorrow at my children. “The only thing I really know is that someone shot him in his car. It might have been a random killing; they’re not even really sure why he was murdered.”
“Oh, poor Daddy,” wept Regan.
“So they don’t know who killed him, yet?” asked Jeremy.
I shook my head. “No, but I’m sure they’ll figure it out, Jeremy. They’ll catch this person and put him away.”
His eyes filled with fury. “I hope they find his killer and they get the death penalty.”
I sighed, understanding his feelings. It was hard enough for me to deal with but I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was like for the kids. Scott had been a great father and they’d loved him dearly.
“I’m going up to my room,” said Regan, brushing tears from her cheeks. “I just want to
lie down for a while.”
I released her hand. “Okay.”
“I’m going to my room, too,” mumbled Jeremy.
I walked over to him and gave him another hug. “We’ll get through this,” I said. “We will.”
His body started to shake as I held him and soon he was sobbing all over again. I closed my eyes and prayed that we’d somehow get through this.
“Crap,” said Darcy when her phone began to vibrate. She took it out of her purse and frowned. “I have to go, Lindsey. I’m sorry.”
I turned around to face her. “It’s no problem at all. Thanks for everything, Darcy.”
“Call me later,” she said, squeezing my shoulder.
I nodded. “I will.”
“Come here, Jeremy,” she said, giving him a hug. “Just remember, you’re the man of the house now. In fact, I bet your dad’s looking down at you with a proud smile on his face, knowing very well that you can handle this.”
He wiped his cheeks and nodded.
“Chin up,” she said, her gaze shifting between us. “Both of you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said.
“Bye, Darcy,” said Jeremy.
I walked her to the door and thanked her again for being such a rock.
“No problem, honey. It’s what friends are for. Oh,” she said, putting a hand against her forehead. “I forgot to tell you, I sent your resume to that Sheriff I was telling you about. Anyway, he’s going to give you a call next week,” she smiled. “To schedule an interview.”
A job interview was the last thing on my mind. I sighed. “Okay.”
She touched my shoulder. “It might not be the best time for this, but it could be your financial answer. Unless, Scott left you some life insurance?”
I shrugged. “Frankly, I have no idea.”
“Well, funerals don’t pay for themselves, so I’d check on that soon.”
I nodded.
“Let me know when your mom arrives,” she said.
“Okay.”
After she left, I sat on the couch with Jeremy for a while and we talked about Scott, reminiscing about much better times. Soon Regan came back down and joined us. As the sun went down, I stood up and stretched.
“I’d better make dinner,” I said, looking at my watch.
“I’m starving,” said Jeremy. “Can we just order a pizza or something?”
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