by Schiller, MK
“I think I love him. These feelings are too raw, too soon and too fast, but Aiden once told me there isn’t a time limit on loving something.”
She doesn’t answer me. She’s silent. I think Aiden is right and she’s already with my dad. Or maybe she’s avoiding my other question. The one I won’t ask because I’m afraid of the answer. What kind of woman abandons a little boy in hell?
The nice man at the front desk greets me. “Well, a very good early morning to you.”
“Good morning. Is there a vending machine down here?”
He points me to a hallway. “Hang a left at the end of the corridor. They’re right next to the ice machine.”
I buy two bottles of water. Before I walk out, I check out all the different brochures at the exit. They advertise the Grand Canyon and winery tours and Native American antique malls.
“Something I can help you find, miss? I know every tourist attraction for the next three counties.”
“Actually, I need a bus schedule.”
“I got that, too. Hang on.” He rifles through a drawer before pulling one out. He taps it a few times. “This is old but it’s still accurate. I’d give it to you except it’s the only one I got left. You’re welcome to take a gander at it, though.”
“I just need it for a second.” I take the pamphlet and scan it quickly before handing it back. “Thank you, I found what I needed.”
Aiden is waiting for me, stretching his legs against a fence post.
“Ready to run hard?” I ask, coaxing cheer into my voice.
He smiles. “If you’re gonna run with me, you better stretch first, Cooper.” I am relieved to hear the cocky Aiden has returned.
We stretch, watching as the pale light comes over the horizon, casting a surreal glow over the rock formations around us. All the colors come alive, the sun’s touch revealing vibrant reds, oranges, and pinks in the huge craters surrounding us. It’s a sight which stuns me into silence, almost lifting me from my grim thoughts—almost.
The grounds around the hotel are nice. Arizona is so flat you can see for miles. I’ve seen Aiden run at the sanctuary when the dogs aren’t with him. The day after we rescued Faith, I looked out the guest bedroom window and watched him on the hill. He ran as if demons were chasing him. He goes slower today for my benefit. I don’t want him to make any concessions, so I speed up, passing him. He meets the pace I set. He keeps looking over at me as the strong Arizona sun comes over the desert horizon.
“We can slow down,” he says.
I shake my head because I want him to have a good run. The kind that keeps the demons away. He must sense how hard I am trying, even though I do my best to push through it, ignoring the burn in my legs and the ache in my chest. I give it everything I have. Being idle brings on the images of him as a little boy, alone and heartbroken. I am running from demons, too.
A strong arm circles my waist and pulls me back. I’d fight him, but I have no fight left. I lean against his chest, my harsh breath transforming into mist as it hits the chilly morning air.
“Emma, stop.”
“We’re good for another mile,” I pant. “You want that, don’t you? You run until you collapse. I’ve seen it. I want to collapse with you. I need to.”
He holds me steady. “If you keep this up, you’re gonna pass out.”
“I can do it.”
“I know you can, but not today. We’ve done enough. Let’s sit.”
He leads me to a large boulder decorating the edge of a shopping center. It’s big enough that we can both sit on it. He’s not even breathing hard. It’s early, so only a few cars pass us. Aiden takes his water bottle from his pack and hands it to me. Mine is already depleted.
“Drink.”
I take long sips, trying to get my heart rate under control. My body is covered with sweat, pasting his once loose T-shirt against my skin. I put my hair up, but the strands have gotten loose and stick to my face.
I reach out to caress his face. “Say something.”
He takes an annoying tendril and tucks it behind my ear. “You look so beautiful.”
I laugh. “You’re kidding, right? I’m sweating like a pig.”
“Pigs don’t sweat. It’s a common myth.” He shakes his head, a wry smile forming on his lips. “I’m disappointed, Cooper. I figured someone as versed in the habits of animals would know this.”
I jab an elbow against his chest then take a deep, painful breath into my diaphragm. “I did know that.”
He kisses my temple. “Let go of your anger. Stop hating her.”
“I don’t hate her, Aiden. I love her as much as I ever did. But I hate what she did to you. Or rather, didn’t do for you.”
“Emma, every fucking thing that’s happened to me has led me right here.” He gestures to the breathtaking landscape surrounding us. “In Coconino, sitting on this fucking boulder, watching the most amazing sunrise with a girl who’s taught me how to laugh. I wouldn’t trade it away for anything. Do you understand?”
“No, I don’t because you’re telling me the abuse was worth it, and that makes me sad.” My voice is thick as the lump in my throat grows.
“That’s not at all what I’m saying. I’m telling you I am happy being here with you right now. Happier than I’ve ever been. The past doesn’t own me. Don’t let it own you, either. Don’t let it fuck up what we have.”
I nod and lean my head against his chest. “I don’t understand, but I won’t dwell on it anymore. I just want to finish this.”
His muscles stiffen. “Why don’t we forget all about Linx? We can turn around and go home instead. The dogs miss us. I want to start our tomorrow right now. What do you think?”
The fact that his home is mine now makes me a little giddy. Looking at him, I almost agree. “Aiden, I can’t. I think she really wanted this.”
He stands up and kicks a few rocks. “She hated Linx as much as I did.” He kneels before me, taking my hands, his eyes almost pleading. “She was very sick when she asked you for this. You said so yourself. We can spread her ashes in the Redwoods like you wanted.”
I place my palm against his face. He leans into it, closing his eyes. The sun shines against his dark hair.
“Why would she ask me to do this, then?”
“I’ve been trying to figure it out myself, Emma. I have no idea.”
“She was being sincere. She made me promise. I can’t break the last promise I made to my mother.”
He nods and offers me a sad smile. “Yeah, you’re right, Cooper. We forge on.”
We walk back to the hotel, our hands linked. The sun shines down, bathing us in a bright orange light. I am making the right choice, I tell myself, although I can’t form the words to tell him. We take quick showers before packing up. Aiden takes most of our luggage to the car while I do a once-over of the room to make sure we didn’t forget anything. As I gather the last few items, I try to corral my courage because I don’t think Aiden will approve of what I want to do. But I won’t put him through any more pain.
“Hey, did you grab my blue…” I can’t finish the sentence because his expression stops me. He’s angry—angry at me.
“Your blue duffle? Yeah, I got it.”
“You okay?”
“Shipshape, Cooper.”
Yeah, if that ship was the Titanic.
“What’s wrong?”
“Not a damn thing.” He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a pamphlet. “Oh, the clerk wanted me to give this to you. He said he found another one.” Aiden slaps it across his hand before throwing the bus schedule on the bed in front of me. “Were you even going to tell me?”
“Yes.” I say the word calmly, although my insides are crumbling.
“When?”
“Now.”
“Well, I guess you don’t have to. You need a ride?”
I don’t trust myself to speak, so I just nod. He sits on the edge of the bed, and puts his elbows on his knees.
“Aiden?”
“I don’t need you to soften the blow. I get it. I’m fucked up and I don’t blame you.”
“Wait, what?”
He looks up at me. “I don’t blame you for leaving me. But I don’t want you on a bus all the way to California. After we get to Linx, I’ll get you a plane ticket.”
Oh my God, he thinks I’m leaving him?
I sit on his lap and put my arms around his shoulders.
“Emma, you touching me right now is the last thing I need.”
“Aiden, I wasn’t going back to California. You couldn’t be more wrong.”
He lifts his head, suspicion in his expression.
“Then what?”
“Linx. I was looking for a route to Linx.”
“Why the hell were you doing that?”
“Because even before you asked me to turn around, I knew how difficult it would be for you to go back there. There are too many painful memories for you. I never want to bring you pain. I was going to finish it on my own.”
His face relaxes. “Cooper—”
“I have to see this through for myself and her, but I will never abandon you.” I hold up the bus schedule, which he has crumpled. I smooth it out and show him. “It doesn’t run through Linx, but it’s close. The next bus leaves in a few hours. It’ll take a few days and I can meet you back here or if you want to head back to Butte Falls, I can hop on a bus heading that way.”
He grips me tighter. “Not on my life, Emma. I’m not going to abandon you, either.”
“You don’t want to go there, and I can’t blame you.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But if you’re determined to do this, then we do it together. Don’t say anything else. We’re not going to argue over it. We’re just gonna do it…together.”
He places his hand behind my head and pulls me toward him. Our mouths crash. His tongue slides against mine as his hands grasp my hips. His muscles relax as the kiss intensifies. When he pulls away, he’s breathing as hard as I am, and he rests his forehead against mine. “Not another word.”
“Okay.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Aiden
The windows are open, and the wind blows through her hair. The Eagles are blaring, telling us to “Take It Easy.” We heed the advice and sing along. Her naked feet are propped on the dashboard, her toes colored in a fresh coat of pale pink. Damn, she’s flexible. I follow the lines of her long, long legs all the way to those cargo shorts. She’s looking out the window, staring as the scenery rushes past us.
The light streams around her, casting her in a brilliant glow. I am the farthest thing from a virgin, but Emma represents many firsts for me. The first time I held a girl after sex. The first time I’ve spent the night with a girl. The first time I’ve been comfortable in a bed for as long as I can remember.
Quit making me fall in love with you, Emma.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
She moves her long legs until they are on the floorboard. “The trees here are really beautiful, don’t you think?”
I shrug. “I haven’t really noticed.”
She turns toward me. “They’re so tall and the trunks are wide. A few of them are even curved. It reminds me of something.”
Shit.
My fingers tighten around the steering wheel. Maybe it’s the engine revving or road as it passes under us, but her stare is hungry. Fuck, it’s lusty. She bites her lower lip and twists a strand of hair around her finger.
I shake my head and focus on the road. In my peripheral vision, I watch as she uncaps a bottle of water, tilting her head back. She licks her lips, placing a hand on my knee. The edges of her lacy purple bra peek through her tank top. She inches her hand up.
“You wanna play, Kitten?”
She lifts her brow. “I’m up for a game.”
I take her hand and move it right over my dick. “Play with that.”
Her mouth drops open. I expect her to jerk her hand away and the pale pink blush to crawl over her chest. But instead, her fingers slide along the outline of my shaft. It only takes a few seconds before I’m a complete rock.
“Emma, don’t start a game you can’t finish.”
She purses her lips together. “Who says I can’t finish it?”
She unzips me. Her fingers go inside my boxers.
Oh fuck.
She strokes me, her thumb circling my tip. She unbuckles her seat belt and leans over. She takes my head into her mouth. I’m a man who can multitask with the best of them, but as all the blood in my body flows downward, I can feel my concentration slip. A trucker passes us blaring his horn. No doubt he got a nice eyeful.
“Get up, Emma. This is not the time.”
She straightens. I adjust myself and zip my jeans. “Put your seat belt on.”
“Sorry. You’re right.” She buckles herself back in.
I pull off the expressway. We go past the restaurants and gas stations lining the exit.
“Where are we going?”
“Thought you might want to get a closer look at the trees.” I pull off to the side of the road, where there is a wooded area.
She smiles, unbuckles herself and bends down again.
“Oh no, Emma. Not like this.”
“No?”
“Nuh-uh, we’re gonna play a game of tag. Guess what? You’re it.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I’ll even give you a head start.”
“I don’t need a head start.” She looks confused.
“I think you do.”
“Why?”
I bring my face close to hers. “’Cause I plan to chase you all across these fucking woods. Then when I catch you, I’m gonna fuck the hell out of you.”
She takes the rubber band from her wrist and binds up her hair. “You better run real fast, Aiden, ’cause I plan to sprint.” The challenge in her eyes surprises me, but before I can even respond, she darts out. I lock the car. I take a condom from my wallet, place it in my pocket, and take off after her.
I run through the woods, leaves rustling under me and branches snapping to announce my progress. I hear her somewhere in the distance, her laugh echoing, but she’s nowhere in sight. I scan the tree line until my heart pounds, but I can’t find her anywhere. Yet the laugh mocks me, turning me on and frustrating me at the same time. I circle back.
“Where the fuck are you, Emma?”
Our game of chase has turned into hide-and-seek. A leaf lands on my head. I call for her again. More leaves fall. I look up, and there is Emma staring down at me.
“I can’t believe you climbed a fucking tree.”
“Well, you’re faster than me so I had to find an advantage.”
She stands on a branch. I watch it jostle and my heart plunges. “Jesus, Cooper, what do you think we’re playing? The Hunger Games?”
She laughs, the branch shaking slightly, my heart pumping wildly.
“Did you watch the movie, Aiden?”
I have no idea what she’s talking about until I remember the reference. “I read the books. You should come down now.”
She smiles as if it’s normal for us to have a conversation while she’s fifteen feet off the ground. “Me, too. I loved them. It’s cool we have that in common.”
I sigh in frustration. “You know what else we have in common, Cooper? Gravity. Now get your ass down here.” I would climb up after her, but the branches look a little too spindly for my weight.
“Okay, keep your pants on, Sheffield.” Her grin turns wicked. “Or you can take them off and save me the trouble.”
I would laugh, but I’m not exactly in a joking mood. She shimmies down the tree like a monkey. She jumps off the lowest branch, landing directly in front of me.
“Hi.”
“Hi. You know you freaked me out, right?”
She pats my chest. “I’ve been climbing trees since I was a kid.”
“Still.”
She stares at me, assessing my sincerity. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
/> “Don’t do it again.”
“I won’t, but you really need to relax. It’s not as if I climbed the most dangerous mountain in the world or anything.”
I’m silent because she put me in my place and calmed me down at the same time. Before any response even comes into my head, she falls to her knees. “Now, since you didn’t take your pants off, I guess I’ll have to do it.”
She unbuttons my jeans and takes me in her mouth. Is this really happening? I’m used to being in control, even in this position, but Emma breaks down every fucking barrier. I grip a thick branch adjacent to my waist. I need something to balance me. The branch moves with my weight. Because her hair is up, I can see her pretty mouth work. She gags as she tries to take all of me. It sounds weird, but I like how she tries so hard to please me. I love what she’s doing for me. It feels fucking amazing, but I need more. God, I want to bury myself inside her and forget the world still exits.
When I pull out the condom, my hand is shaky, my body driven to a place where I no longer have directions. I hold it next to her.
“Emma, please, put this on me.”
She moans. She fucking moans with my dick in her mouth. The vibrations go up my spine through every damn cell in my body.
“Now, Emma. I want you.” I need you.
She finally takes the condom from me. She turns her face up, her eyes wild and lusty. I have to grip the branch even tighter when she rips the gold foil package between her teeth then takes the condom and slides it down my erection.
I grasp her shoulders and pull her up, then I unbutton her shorts. They fall to the ground. I lift her. Keeping a good grip on her, I place her on the branch. I can’t say I’m romantic and I whisper sweet things in her ears. I’m so fucking hungry for her that I fuck her without apology. She gasps at my entry. Her moans fill in the space between us and echo all around the woods.
The branch yields so that whenever I thrust, the tension brings her right back to me. I unbind her hair, letting it fall loose in silky waves. I twist it in my hand and pull it back. I bite her shoulder and neck. She screams my name, scratching my back so hard, I can feel it though my shirt. I rip her top when I pull it down. I bury my head against her breast, sucking her nipples with such force they will be sore. She arches her back, begging me for more. Her slender fingers fist in my hair. The sound that escapes me isn’t a moan or a grunt…it’s a fucking growl.