DEPRAVED

by J, Bella

  I walked out of the bedroom, determined to burn the road as soon as possible. We had to change our plan. Underestimating Slither was one mistake I’d never make again. I knew the son of a bitch would figure it out; I just didn’t count on it being so soon. But it didn’t matter. What mattered now was getting Alyx to the safe house.

  Tomorrow, it would look like the Kings were just doing their normal Sunday run. Nothing out of the ordinary. Odds were Slither would be anticipating it. The man was a sociopath, but a clever one. For this plan to work, I had to be three steps ahead of him, as he’d try to be two steps ahead of me. And that was why we had to get Alyx out of here…now.

  “Manic.”

  I was halfway down the stairs when our road captain came rushing in. “Yeah?”

  “Have two different runs mapped out. We’ll need to split up and do everything possible to make sure we’re not followed.”

  “Already done.” The man had a huge, self-assured smile on his face.

  “Fucking show-off.” I lit a cigarette as I passed him on my way to Dutch and Onyx, who stood by the door talking. “The unmarked van ready?”

  “Yup,” Onyx confirmed.

  “Has the safe house been secured?”

  Dutch nodded. “We sent our guys out there three days ago. They’re scouting the area every few hours.”

  I took a long, deep drag from my cigarette, letting the smoke linger inside my chest, practically feeling the nicotine cling to my lungs.

  Neon passed us carrying a tray of beer. I grabbed one. “Pack your stuff.”

  Neon’s eyes pulled into slits. “Here’s a question. Why?”

  “You’ll be going with Alyx to the safe house.”

  “Ha. Ha. Funny. You almost had me there for a second.”

  “Does it look like I’m making a motherfucking joke?”

  Neon paused, blue irises studying me for a moment before narrowing her eyes. A groan rolled over her lips. “Come on, Granite. You know I hate that place. It’s in the middle of fucking nowhere. I’ll be bored out of my mind.”

  I chugged down the beer then placed the empty bottle down on the tray she was still holding. “You girls can paint your nails, braid each other’s hair, or do whatever the fuck it is girls do.”

  “Are you serious?” She scowled. “Do I look like the type who wants to sit around and swap out beauty tips all fucking day?”

  “Neon,” I said, deadpan, “go pack your shit. You’re going with.”

  “Fuck me,” she muttered, pulling her hand through her blue hair before pinning her glare on Onyx. “This is all your fault, you know?”

  Onyx’s hand flew up to his chest, eyebrows raised. “What the fuck did I do?”

  “You made her dance.”

  “Bullshit. You were the one up her ass about her eating habits.”

  Neon leaned closer. “Yeah, well…you could have stopped me.”

  “I fucking tried.”

  “Next time, try harder.” Neon turned on her heel and stomped off in the other direction. Dutch laughed, and I was slightly amused. Just slightly.

  Ink joined us, his eyes finding Neon first. I often wondered if he really did like her, or whether the fact that she was one of the only girls in town who didn’t want his dick fucked with his head.

  He turned his attention to the rest of us. “Everyone suited up and packing?” His way of asking if we had enough ammo to go start World War Three.

  Everyone nodded, then he looked at me. “Who will be riding with the girl?”

  “Dutch and Ink,” I answered simply.

  Dutch straightened. “No fucking way, man. I’m riding with you. Let Onyx go with them.”

  “Onyx can ride with me. I want my enforcer with Alyx.”

  “Granite, as your enforcer, my place is next to you.”

  “Don’t fight me on this, Dutch.” I gave him a look of warning.

  Onyx crossed his arms, a taunting smirk on his face. “What’s the matter, brother? You don’t trust me with her?”

  I clenched my jaw, biting my tongue while choosing not to look at him. “Don’t push me,” I warned.

  “Listen,” he moved closer, “you and I both know there’s not a chance in hell Dutch will let you ride without his protection. Besides, having both our SAA and our enforcer on the same run as the girl would be like putting a giant red bullseye on that van. Everyone will expect heavier security around her.” He shrugged. “Assuming they’re convinced we have her.”

  “He’s right,” Ink chimed in. “Onyx and I will take a few other guys and ride with the girls. You and Dutch go with the decoy. You have to take Manic, as he’s the road captain. It would look suspicious if you went on a run without him.”

  My fists balled at my sides, hating the idea of Onyx going with her while I couldn’t.

  “Listen to the man, Granite.” Dutch walked up to me, giving me a knowing look. “I’m siding with Onyx and Ink on this one.”

  Ink rolled his eyes. “Thank you.”

  “Shut up. Now, Granite. You and I both know Slither will think that if we have the girl, you’d have your entire security detail around her. It’s what anyone would do…which is why we need to think differently.”

  Fucking man was right. He knew it. I knew it. But it didn’t mean I had to like it. Not being there myself to make sure she didn’t get hurt was hard enough. Toss my brother into the mix, and it made me feral. Our little standoff in the kitchen that morning proved the tension between us was palpable. I loved my brother. I really did. And we mostly got along just fine. But Kate was a touchy subject for us, and it seemed like Alyx would become one too.

  My gaze cut to Onyx, then to Ink, and back at Dutch. For the life of me, I wished there was a way for me to argue this further, but I knew the bastards had me in a corner. A lesson my dad taught me—always listen to your team. A leader was only as strong as the bond between his men. Protect each other. Respect each other.

  With a simple nod, I agreed. I didn’t fucking like it, but my guys were right, and I’d be a fool if I acted on impulse rather than on good advice. “A good leadership quality,” my dad always said. The ability to listen rather than dictate.

  I glanced at my wristwatch. “We ride in at dawn.”

  Everyone scattered out to go do what they needed to do, but I grabbed Onyx by the elbow. “Wait up.”

  He faced me.

  “I don’t want trouble, Onyx.”

  “And I won’t give you any.”

  I pulled my hand down my face, glancing around before leaning closer to him. “No matter what, you make sure nothing happens to her. Okay?”

  Onyx licked his lips, narrowing his eyes at me. “You care about her.” It wasn’t a question.

  I clenched my jaw. “Promise me, Onyx.”

  For a few seconds, he studied me, blue eyes raking over my features. “Yeah. Okay, man.”

  “Okay?”

  “I said okay.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry, man. I’ll take care of her.” There was a little squeeze from his fingers, a gesture meant to reassure me. Unfortunately, when it came to Alyx, the only thing that would set me at ease was if she was locked up in a padded fucking room where nothing or no one could touch her…except me.

  Psychopath.

  Onyx walked off, and I called after him. “Get Neon to take her some food.”

  He didn’t turn. A wave was the only confirmation I got.

  A part of me felt excited, thrilled, eager to get the show on the fucking road. The sooner we took down the Pythons, avenging my father’s death by pulling this off, the sooner I could get to her and the plan I had for us.

  But another part of me felt the slight twinge of nerves, an edginess I didn’t like. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there was unease simmering in pit of my stomach. It was just something I had to shake. This was my one and only opportunity to get what I wanted while giving the club and my guys what they wanted.

  Killing two birds with one stone. But that bird up
stairs was mine, and once all of this was done, I’d make sure she understood that concept.

  18

  Alyx

  It felt comforting, in a way, to wear my own clothes. Familiar. Made me feel a little closer to home. Just a thread of normalcy.

  It didn’t smell the same, though. I noticed the new soapy scent the second I pulled my shirt over my head. Amazing how one’s sense of smell got used to something like a specific detergent brand, unable to smell it anymore because your clothing had been washed with it for years. But the second a different scented brand was used, you could catch the unfamiliar whiff immediately.

  I made sure to avoid the mirror. My mind had already turned into an epic battlefield. Losing myself would only disarm me more, weaken me more than I already was.

  Even though it freaked the fuck out of me knowing Granite had replicas of my stuff placed in this room, I grabbed a hairband and tied my hair. The blonde strands felt like sandpaper every time they brushed against the bruise on the side of my face. The rest of my body felt achy too, and I was starting to hope Neon would appear again with some aspirin in hand.

  I heard the door unlock, and since she was in my thoughts last, I expected to see Neon. But Onyx was the one who appeared.

  “Neon was supposed to bring you something to eat, but she’s currently sulking in her room by smoking a joint and listening to Slipknot.”

  “Why is she sulking?”

  He shrugged. “Granite told her she needs to come with us tomorrow.”

  My throat closed. “Us?”

  “Us.” The way he said it, the way he stared at me, I knew the “us” he was referring to included me.

  “Where are we going?”

  “I can’t say.” His words were clipped, his statement simple.

  “What are you going to do to me?”

  His posture was rigid, hands tucked into his jeans pockets. “Don’t ask questions, Alyx. Just…just cooperate. Don’t try to be brave.”

  “I have to be. I have to be brave. Otherwise, how will I survive all of this? How will I survive your brother?” My eyes burned, tears threatening to show weakness. But I swallowed, clenching my jaw as I willed them away.

  Blue irises stared back at me, a face much younger than his brother’s. “Listen, Alyx.” He stepped closer. “Don’t fight it, okay? Fighting it only makes it worse. And you’re not strong enough,” he held up his hands, “and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I mean you haven’t been in our world to be strong enough to handle all this shit with a fight. You feel me?”

  “Yeah. I feel you.” My words were laced with sarcasm, the smirk on his face proof he picked up on it.

  “I give you my word, Alyx. Cooperate, do as you’re told, and you will survive.”

  “How am I supposed to trust your word when you’re holding me captive?” It was a legitimate question, and by the way he rocked backward and forward on his feet, he knew it too.

  “Believe me, if I could tell you more to help set you at ease, I would. But I can’t.” He roughed a hand through his dirty-blond hair. “I know you have no reason to trust me—to trust any of us. Just don’t fight us. Soon all this will be over, and if you don’t fuck everything up by trying to be brave and stupid, you’ll be back to your perfect little life dancing at that fancy school of yours.”

  A low, sardonic laugh left my lips. “I don’t think your brother plans on taking me back to my perfect little life, as you put it.”

  He gave me a sidelong glance while keeping his head still. The silence around us gave me the confirmation I needed. Onyx knew just as well as I did there was a good chance I wouldn’t return to my life.

  “Alyx,” he started, “I like you. I really do, and I wish I could make this easier for you, but I can’t. Not right now. You just need to trust me when I say this will all be over soon.”

  The tears escaped. Not just one or two. It was like a fucking river ran down my cheeks, and I couldn’t keep it in anymore. “Nothing is going to be okay.”

  “It will be.”

  “Then help me. Help me understand him. Help me get inside his head so I can figure out what the hell it is he wants from me.”

  Onyx grabbed my shoulders. “Then what, huh? If you have the answer to that, then what?” He gripped tight, fingers digging into my flesh as he shook me. “You’d still be here against your will. You’d still be in the middle of this. Answers won’t mean shit to you right now.”

  “I want to go home. I just want to go home.” Sobs wracked through my body, desperation weeping out of me. “I’m so scared, and I just want to go home. Please!”

  “Well, you can’t!” His voice erupted from his throat like thunder, silencing me instantly. With teary eyes, I stared up at him, his hands still tight on my shoulders. “You can’t go home. Not yet.”

  With a hard tug, I jerked free from his hold, taking a step back. I shook my head while glaring at him. “He won’t let me go.”

  Onyx pulled his lips in a straight line, not saying a word. At that moment, he couldn’t even look at me.

  “Your brother won’t let me go.”

  “Listen, Alyx—” He moved forward, but I stepped back.

  “Granite wants me here, whether I want to be here or not. I’m not stupid. I know it’s not simple, and there’s something else going on. But whatever it is, your brother won’t let me go. Of that much, I’m sure.”

  Onyx shook his head, hands resting at his sides. “Let’s see how this all plays out.”

  “Easy for you to say.” I wiped tears from my cheek with the back of my hand. “It’s not your life hanging in the balance.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Onyx’s brows almost touched his hairline. “You think my life ain’t in danger here? You think none of our lives are in danger?” His face turned to stone as he approached me. “Our lives are in danger every goddamn day. Every time we walk out these motherfucking doors, we don’t know whether it will be our last.”

  “That’s your choice.” I clenched my jaw. “Me being here is not my choice.”

  “You think it’s a choice? Newsflash, Miss Green. We’re just playing the cards we got dealt, just like everyone else in this wretched world. And this club is all we got. The only family we got.”

  I bit my lip, not liking what I was hearing. Even though I believed we were the makers of our own fate, I was in no position to judge. Not with me dancing to my mom’s tune—pun intended.

  Onyx stared at me, a grave expression on his face paired with an unnatural stillness. Granite told me his reason for taking me, said I was his to take. But something told me there was more to it than mere obsession. Especially after Onyx gave me the impression something more was going on. Perhaps, apart from being Granite’s girl in the window, I was a bargaining chip as well. Collateral. Something to be used for personal gain in the sordid games played in the underground of this city. Truth was, I had no idea how ruthless these motorcycle clubs could be, so I could not put anything past them. But one thing I was sure of, there was no way Granite was taking me back to my life. Not until he had taken from me what he wanted. I might have been scared and desperate, but I wasn’t stupid. It was written all over Granite’s face whenever he looked at me. The promise was right there in his touch earlier, the vow made when he pressed his lips against mine.

  “Your brother is not planning on letting me go. Even after you’ve used me for whatever reason…I’m not going anywhere. Not until he’s used me for his own personal reasons.”

  One of his eyebrows slanted inward. “You seem sure of that.”

  “I am.”

  “How?”

  I licked my lips, the saltiness of my tears coating my tongue. “I just know.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’m not wrong. You’ll see.”

  The sky-blue of his eyes turned a shade darker, his face hard. But I refused to look at him any longer and turned my back on him. For a while, we stood there in silence, and it surprised me that On
yx didn’t leave. He had no reason to stay. No reason to stick around in the room with me. But he did.

  “Alyx, the only reason we took you—”

  “Kidnapped.” I glanced at him over my shoulder. “I believe that’s the word you should use.” The animosity dripped from my words, and right then I didn’t care. My body was drained, my mind weary. And Onyx didn’t intimidate me the way Granite did. I felt more in control around Onyx, more confident, and that finally led me to this point where I just didn’t give a fuck anymore. Not around him, anyway.

  I heard him exhale. Then footsteps. “Granite said to make sure you get something to eat. I knew you wouldn’t be hungry, but I brought you something anyway. I’ll just leave it here for you.”

  My tears had stopped, the lingering wetness starting to dry on my cheeks. “You know so much about my life. Even my fucking eating habits.” Finally, I turned to face him where he stood, a few feet away from the door. “It seems the American Street Kings interfered with my life long before you kidnapped me.”

  “I’m sorry, Alyx. I know we’re not the good guys here, but we’ve never interfered with your life…until now.”

  For a moment, I studied him, trying to figure out exactly what angle he was trying to work. Now, I was no people expert, or even close to a goddamn profiler—but Onyx wasn’t showing any sign that he was currently trying to pull off some bullshit act.

  I leaned back, surprised yet still uncertain. “Your brother made himself a part of my life years ago without me even knowing.”

  Onyx didn’t respond.

  I weaved my fingers through my hair, ruining the ponytail I had just tied ten minutes ago. “You and Neon keep telling me nothing is as it seems. Well, maybe you’re the ones who should take a better look.”

  He bit his bottom lip, eyes weary, and his hands deep inside his pants pockets. “Get some rest, Alyx.” He left, locking the door behind him.

  The sound of the lock became more and more familiar, and less noticeable. This room was starting to blend into my world. Their faces too—Onyx and Neon. But not Granite. Not his face. The man was an enigma, a paradox not meant to fade. Not in my world, anyway.