“That’s not how I said it,” I defended with a smile.
The longer brown locks I was getting used to hung in his face since his hands were holding his board and mine. We reached his new Jeep and he slid the boards in the back seat and adjusted his hair. “Come here.”
Chapter 7—Zach
Her bikini top was smaller than I liked and the probably size 0 cut off jean shorts that she left unbuttoned showing her bikini bottoms were certainly never being worn again—at least not in public. Though she would look sexy as hell in those in my bedroom with nothing underneath.
“Come here,” I said.
She was giving me the same look I had just explained to her. Puppy dog eyes is how I’d heard them described before. I looped my finger beneath her waistband to pull her near. The puppy dog eyes faded and a desire suddenly swelled in those baby blues. Damn this girl turned me on instantly.
Once she made it to me, I picked her up. “Wrap your legs around me.”
Her eyes glanced in every direction, she was hesitant. Understandably so, we were parked on the Pacific Coast Highway! But I hadn’t shown affection to a girl in almost five years. The world needed to know how crazy I was about this girl.
“Do it,” I ordered.
She finally complied and I nestled in the seat of the Jeep.
“Now stop pouting and kiss me.”
When I moved in for the kiss, she rolled her lips inward. I would never allow her to keep her lips from me.
“Kiss me,” I ordered again, and I think this new Emma liked when I took control. Her reaction to the handcuffs being reversed on her surprised me. Actually shocked the shit out of me.
“Admit that I didn’t say ‘I’m sorry’ the way you said.” She was still pouting.
A chuckle rumbled through my chest. “Baby, the way you said I’m sorry to that guy, you may as well have said, spread my legs and take me.”
She rolled her lips inward again.
“Emma, do you seriously think that I can’t make you kiss me?”
Lips still turned in, she nodded her head up and down.
With only one finger and with very little effort, I tickled her side and she immediately began giggling. The moment she smiled, my mouth covered hers. My heart flipped over in my chest when she didn’t fight me and surrendered to my lips.
Somewhere during the kiss she moaned, which brought my eyes open. Over the years, I’d dreamed about those moans, her noises that simply drove me mad. God, when I was a kid, I thought I’d shoot it right in my pants when she’d whimper because of my touch. Who was I kidding, I was ready to now!
Her hips rotated just enough that I knew she felt my response to the kiss. My body was primed and ready for hers. With my hips, I pressed up against her just so there was no mistaking what she was feeling; she met my hips with a pressure of her own.
“Get a room!” some guy shouted.
Like a crocodile, her mouth snapped shut, her eyes sprang open and she shoved off of me in a matter of five seconds. My eyes darted for the douche bag that had ruined our moment. But seeing Emma walk away drew my attention back to her, until she sat in the passenger seat; her face ten shades of red. Even though she had grown into a beautiful…no… an incredibly hot woman, she was that same little girl inside. I loved that.
I took my place next to her in the driver’s seat.
“Sorry about that. When you’re with me, I get lost,” I said.
She adjusted herself sideways in the seat. “You’re different now, I’m trying to get used to that.”
As if a python squeezed me, panic seized my chest and restricted my breathing. Those words felt like an out. A possible reason for a goodbye. I’d waited nearly five years to love this girl again. And it was 1000 times better than any dream or fantasy I’d had during that time.
“What do you mean different?” I said calmly, which was contradictory to the anxious feelings exploding inside of me…knowing whatever she said, I would do whatever was within my power to change.
Her little shoulders jetted up, then slowly down, then she looked at me. “I don’t know. Angry. People are scared of you.”
I reached to touch her face. “Are you scared of me?”
She shook her head, but her eyes didn’t find mine. Then she whispered, “I know you’d never hurt me.”
The urge inside of me to hold her was so immediate and so intensely overwhelming that I started the car; the screeching of my tires probably didn’t make her feel any safer either.
After being in the sunshine, Panchas was dark. Regardless, Hank saw the look on my face and Emma in tow and he buzzed the poker room immediately.
“Hi Hank,” she said as we shuffled past.
“Hi sweetheart.”
The very second the door closed, I wrapped my arms around her, lifting her off the ground.
“What are you doing?” she giggled.
“I need you to hear me. Really hear me,” I panted with desperation in my voice.
As she slid down the front of me, her eyes turned serious.
“OK,” she said.
I directed her to the sofa where we sat.
I started. “First of all…”
“Wait!”
“What?” I asked. She was making a meal of the side of her lip, so I pulled it free. “What?” I asked again.
“I know what has happened in these rooms back here. Have you ever been with a girl where I’m sitting?”
I grinned. I liked that she was jealous, but I also wanted to make her comfortable. With her hand in mine, I took her to the old train bench that Hank treasured. She sighed.
“So you haven’t been violated here, huh?” she glowered with the intensity of a kitten.
I quickly lifted her chin. “Em. I haven’t been with a woman since you.”
When her eyes rolled, it annoyed me. I wasn’t sure she believed me. The last person I had been inside was her…discounting a few mouths. I’d take that issue up later.
“Listen to me, ok?”
She nodded with her hand in mine.
“You asked about my anger. You don’t like me scaring people. Regarding that…” I took a long slow breath. “When I met you, and for the near two years we were together, I had to share you. I shared you with your brother and all of his friends.”
“But…” she tried to interrupt.
“Let me finish…during that time, you…wavered a bit. You were confused with your feelings for Grant, your feelings for Austin and what we had. I had done everything imaginable on several different levels, you had experienced nothing. So I sat patiently trying to allow you to work through that. I don’t know whether I should have taken your virginity or not.”
The sound that came from her, as if her breath was stolen, made me look at her. She looked wounded. What I said hurt her?
“Emma. What I mean by that is, was it selfish of me? Should I have waited until you were older? I don’t know. I will never regret it for me. But was it wrong for you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t regret it either. I’ll never forget it.”
My eyes closed as those words came out. I’d needed to hear that for the past four years.
“So. When what happened with Paul and you being attacked…” I stroked her arms as I said those words. “…the amount of possessiveness and anger I held inside at him tearing us apart and our decisions and our lack of communication and…so much. Then when I got questioned by the police, and when they wanted your name…I panicked. I couldn’t let anyone find out so I left.
I realized after being back in Cali and then hearing Ryan talk about the things you were doing there, that’s how it should have been. You needed that time to heal and grow. But then you chose him. The anger inside grew and grew. I thought after high school, you’d reach out to me. I thought you’d miss me. I thought you felt what I did and that it was impossible to live with out.”
The anger was inside me again, I felt it…stirring…agitating. It had no place in my life any long
er but how to rid myself of it was something else. Abruptly, she stood and began pacing.
“What, baby?” I asked.
“You don’t understand. I was 16. I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child. I simply wanted to be loved. When you left, there was this void, this vacancy. I had just learned to love and felt how wonderful it was, and then it was gone. I needed that void filled. He was there in a way.”
Hearing that ‘he was there’ pushed me over the edge and it wasn’t until I saw her dart for the door that I even realized I threw an old beer bottle at the wall. Hank met her at the door.
“Damn it Zach!” Hank yelled. “Enough. She’s here! She’s standing in front of you! Let this shit go!”
The fear in the blues of her eyes, the panic on her face, the distance between us was agonizing. I couldn’t bear it.
“I’m sorry, Hank.” I walked toward her. “I’m sorry, Emma.”
She stared at me finally nodding and Hank left us.
“Em. That’s why I’m angry. He should have been a man too and walked away. You had been attacked. You were vulnerable. By taking you under his wing, I’m not sure you’ve healed or had that time to feel…I don’t know.”
A long slow breath moved her chest up then down. “How’d you even know? Was it Ryan?”
“Yes. For the most part. I kept in contact with several of the guys and through little bits that were said, I knew what was happening.”
She nodded. “You were wrong though. After you left, we only had one date Zach. One,” she repeated.
What? That confused me.
“Kiss me,” she whispered as I swallowed some beer trying to figure that out.
Though my breath hitched in my throat at her request, there was no hesitation.
Chapter 8—Emma—Memories
When his mouth took possession of mine, I wanted to give him all of me in that moment. I didn’t care that it was on some wooden bench. It had been years since he’d been inside of me. I didn’t want an old memory; I wanted a new one to cherish.
The taste of beer filled my mouth and his cold tongue warmed to mine. Within a short second, he pulled me onto his lap, cradling me in his arms. The brute strength behind his hold was scary, yet the gentlest I’d ever felt. Being enclosed in his arms was as if I was safe from all harm.
His kiss was desperate…hungry…eager and frantic. And when I moaned with a building pleasure, his emotion only seemed to heighten. That was the difference in the only two men I’d ever been with…Austin wanted me…Zach needed me. It was as if I was key to his survival. I was beginning to think he was key to mine.
After breaking free from the kiss, I raised my shirt over my head exposing my bikini top. His eyes grazed over my breasts then back up to my eyes. I knew he remembered the 16 year old from years ago—the timid little inexperienced girl. He needed to know that wasn’t me any longer.
The swimsuit ties were still a little damp, so untying them required a bit more of a tug. The tie behind my neck was first, and that allowed my suit to fall from my breasts and hang beneath. His mouth parted slightly and as I untied the second string to discard the suit all together. I straddled his lap and positioned my breast right at his mouth. An outright, open and bold invitation. His head titled back and he looked at me, a fire in his eyes like I’d never seen. I nearly cried out when his mouth covered my breast. Raking my fingers through his hair, I held his head in place. He resisted and I didn’t understand until I watched him pick up the beer bottle and rub the cold glass over my nipple.
“Baby…” I nearly wept.
He took a swig of the cold brew and then his mouth was there again. I had never had an orgasm this way, but at this moment, I thought it to be possible. My swimsuit bottom and his trunks were aggravating to me. I needed them gone and began working on his tie.
After moving to my other breast, he brushed my hand away. I went directly back to what I was doing, and he brushed my hand away again. I pulled away from him and stood, and he growled. I giggled.
“I want your pants off,” I said, a little embarrassed.
He shook his head. “Not here. I’ve waited too long for this.”
I gave him my best angry…pouty face then, at the same time, untied the strings on each side of my bikini bottoms, which landed at my feet. A hushed sound escaped his lips as his eyes scanned every inch of me.
“I want you. I want to remember…everything,” I said and stepped toward him.
One of his hands cupped my bottom and nudged me closer. His other hand ran the length of one thigh then back up the inside of my thigh. He didn’t stop until one finger was buried in me.
“Ahhhh,” I whimpered.
“God, Emma… You’re killin’ me.”
His thumb was rubbing the spot he so easily found, and I wasn’t sure my legs could hold me up. He must have measured my response because his arm wrapped around my waist holding me.
His mouth found my breast again, and I knew in no time, I would explode. My breaths were ragged. “Please Zach. Be with me now.”
“No baby. Not here. I won’t do it,” he said between switching breasts. “But come for me. Please. I want you to.”
Those five words were all it took for me to go over the edge. I cried out…I mean literally out loud…almost as if I was in pain—but it was on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.
In that moment, the door buzzed. I panicked when I saw Hank and Dylan come flying into the room just as Zach spun me around and blocked me with his body.
“Let her go, Zach!” I think it was Hank.
“Hank, she’s fine,” Zach said in a stern voice.
“Come on bro,” Dylan said. “Take a break from talking just for a little bit.”
Zach’s chest started rumbling with laughter, and I was too mortified to say a word.
“Guys, she’s fine. Please get out.”
“Emma?” Hank asked.
“I’m fine Hank,” I muttered through being crushed into Zach’s chest, my feet dangling between his legs. “I promise.”
“Then why can’t we see her, Zach?” Dylan inquired.
“Dylan,” Zach’s tone was more threatening. “It was not a cry of pain. Now get the fuck out!”
With those words, I bit Zach’s chest and he yelled and laughed at the same time.
As the door closed, I heard Dylan say something about my swimsuit being on the floor.
After we were dressed, Zach tried to make me leave and I refused. I was staying in this room until closing…until every last person left. Even after getting me a hoodie from his Jeep, I wouldn’t budge.
“Emma. I want to go home…with you. Now let’s go.”
“No!” I sat curled up on the sofa. “They heard me cry out during an orgasm. I will never look them in the eyes again.”
Without reservation, he snatched me up and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The hoodie had fallen perfectly in place and before I realized he was traipsing through the bar. When I felt the cool air of outside, I raised my head to see Hank holding the door for us. He gave me a wink and grinned.
Time was running out here. I was two days away from turning 21 and my parents would expect me home on my birthday. Leaving would be hard…not knowing what the future held. The fact that I had one more year in Eugene and he had one more year to get his doctorate here couldn’t be ignored. Thinking about our future forced me to think of Austin. It was the end of May. Prepping for the bar would occupy his summer. When he graduated from Harvard Law, a list of top firms aggressively recruited him offering him the world. That’s the thing about the Falsones, they had the world. My mind still wondered what Austin would do. A small part of me hoped he would break free of his father and create his own empire. As heartbroken as I would forever be with him, he deserved so much. I would never forget our time together.
After having door 1 and 2 chosen for me, Austin stood strong to his game show scenario. The spring after the trial, Hunter Cox asked me out. Both Zach and A
ustin wanted me to enjoy my high school experience so I vowed to give it effort. Hunter and I went out maybe five times before summer came and I had to leave. He never kissed me or anything, and I was ok with that but was sort of back to feeling like I did before Zach had noticed me. That summer, Austin traveled with his father. They spent a month in Belize with his father’s brother deep-sea fishing and from there went to San Juan.
My junior year Tanner Hibler asked me out to the winter formal. He was hotter than hell and a senior, but he still seemed to take previous threats of my brother seriously because he too wouldn’t even touch me. Four dates of him dropping me off, walking me to the door and nodding at me…well screw that…I’d had my fill of rejection. I threw myself at Preston Reed after being asked out repeatedly by him and then he refused to touch me as well! Finally, I resigned myself to a convent. What the hell…I was done. This dating thing wasn’t for me and I clearly wasn’t for these guys.
I can’t say the time without the crew wasn’t good for me. It was. I learned more about what I liked and who I was. But I also hadn’t had sex in over two years. I had more than given Austin what he asked for. We barely spoke as it was. I didn’t know if he was with someone or if he wasn’t. But I wanted to know. Zach had cut me off altogether.
I only had my fall semester of my senior year to complete and I would be a high school graduate. I would go to U of O in the spring. Further from Zach…closer to Austin.
It was that summer that it happened. I turned 18 and he was a month away from 22. The beach was nothing like it used to be with our nightly outings to the fire, sitting in chairs, sneaking beer…now a lot of the time, it was just me.
The day was a rare day for Cannon—almost 80 and full sun. I read from my balcony.
“Hey stranger,” I heard from down below.
I smiled when I recognized his voice. “If your name rhymes with Raustin Talsone, you can go away.”
“Excellent,” he said then walked right into our house.
What did excellent mean?
The screen on my sliding glass door opened, and I glanced up at him.
Just One of the Guys 3 My Someday... Page 5