by Zi'ere
74
Ménage a trios. Tiffani and Sanye are bi-sexual. Pain is a whore. I look for the time stamp. It is ten in the morning on a Tuesday and while I was at work, my husband is knocking down his baby mama and his best friends wifey in our marital bed. I stop the video. The screen pops back to an even bigger screen, which holds several different clips. I click on another.
Neka is down on her knees in the foyer of my home, giving Pain head. She sucks everything that he has to give her. Rubbing his then flaccid penis between her breasts and then minutes later, he is holding the door open for her to leave. Pain has looked me square in the eyes and lied to me over and over again.
I make it over to the small trashcan by the desk, just in time to vomit uncontrollably. The knight in shining armor shows up with a cool face towel. He wipes my mouth and then he dries my tears with tissues before he disposes of the foul matter that has come out of me.
I heard him on the phone with hotel staff, ordering everything that he thinks I need at the time. He helps me into the bathroom, as I continue to gag, like I have more to upchuck. With my face in the toilet, he holds my hair back and gently rubs my shoulders. It isn’t long before tears are also dropping into the toilet.
“Why would he do this to me? OMG, why would he destroy me like this?”
The man holds me and shushes me, without offering any answers to my questions. The only problem is that I am totally inconsolable.
“Who told him that he could do this to me? Why did he even marry me?”
I’m not worried about the ugly cry. My heart is in pain. Gavin has tapped danced on it for the last time. Just hours ago, he was suggesting that we talk things out. He had no idea of the information that I had.
Gavin could not have known that his best homeboy in life was fully aware of his busy schedule as well. The two have been so cool with each other at the house. I know that Sanye had to have told her lovers Pain and Tip, that he has ended their relationship. Neither one had a clue that the other was coming that day.
Broderick scoops me up in his arms. Instead of placing me in the bed that I would be sleeping in, he carries me into his room. He then places me in the center of the bed. I have my hands up to my face, to hide my tears. That doesn’t stop him from unbuckling the sandals from around my ankle. There is a knock on the door. A few minutes later, he climbs into bed and gathers me inside of his arms tight.
“I have Alka-Seltzer and Tylenol, which one do you think that you need to take first?” Broderick whispers in my ear.
“I need a Xanax,” I whisper back.
“I can’t get those by room service but I can make a few calls…”
“I have some in my makeup bag. It’s inside of my duffle carry on.”
He gently lays me to the side and then hops off of the bed.
After a few minutes, he is back at my side.
“I do remember that you like Cokes- plenty of ice.”
He hands me the medicine bottle, while he holds on to the glass.
I up my normal dosage by double. I need for this day to be over. I wash the pills down and my company takes the glass from my fingers. With no words spoken, he gathers me in his arms again.
He spoons me from the back but it is more of my back touching is chest than my but in his pelvic area. In a matter of minutes I am beginning to feel a cool calm. I then turn on my side, to face the man with all of the knowledge behind me.
“How long have you known that Pain was foul?”
“I have more things to tell you, which will pretty much answer all of the questions that you may have.”
“Ok, I’m listening.”
“Ma, Pain runs the crew but it’s not like you think.”
“What do you mean? Is he not the boss?”
“He is but he is in the spotlight because the true boss doesn’t want to be.”
“Who’s the boss? Have I met him?”
“Kam, you’re looking at him.”
“I fucking knew it! I knew something was up, when you were the only one not getting paid! You said you got what you needed off the top. Then you have a way of checking, even though I don’t know that you checked!”
“Yes, I make the moves, I call the shots. Pain was my boy, so I had to put him on too. After a while, I got tired of the leeches and I wanted to go legit but Pain didn’t. He said that he’d run it and I’d get paid like normal. So, that is what we did. Within the last year mainly . . . probably when you first met him, I began to notice that my money was off.”
“He was slicing your money?”
“Mufu should be dead but I can’t do that to Mrs. Emma.”
“Did you order the shooting?”
“No. That was the result of Pain thinking another mufu wouldn’t bust his head, since I didn’t do it. He did that to himself, Ma.”
“So the money in my house is yours?”
“Yes, Kamille…you have been holding on to my money for the last few months, not Pain’s.”
“That’s why he wouldn’t take the money like I’ve been begging him too.”
“Exactly.”
“So how was Pain able to afford my house?”
“I bought that house.”
I feel like my heart is going to explode in my chest.
“Why would you buy me a house?”
“You didn’t need to be in that apartment driving what you drive and wearing what you have on your body now. It was time for an upgrade.”
“You were in your plans, even back then?”
“Yeah. I knew that he was fucking up big time . . . not only with you, but me, and Tip. He even has these two chicks that he is seeing. But if I tell you who it is, then you are going to explode.”
“Who is it?”
“So I asked him if he wanted to borrow the money to get you out of the apartment. Obviously, he accepted but he hasn’t made one payment on it.”
Every word that he speaks makes my head hurt.
“When you kept the apartment, I fell for you hard. That was sexy as hell. No matter what the situation, even though your pockets had changed . . . You were still humble enough to go back to square one. That told me everything that I needed to know.”
“Why in the hell would you stand by and watch me marry someone that is a complete fucking fraud and you knew about it the whole damn time?”
Broderick winces at my words.
“That mufucka swore up and down to me the whole time that he was going to do right by you. He swore on the Bible that he would be faithful and that he was going to give up the jump-offs and cut Tip completely off. So that he could be the man that you deserved. The video you that you saw was made the first day that you went back to work after the honeymoon.”
I begin to get dizzy.
“But you knew in your heart that he was lying to you! You sat back and watched me marry a nobody!”
“I tried to stay away from you because I knew that I couldn’t look you in the eyes. You were so beautiful. You were smiling and so happy. I didn’t want to ruin that for you, especially since Pain said that he’d walk the straight and narrow.”
“You keep saying what he said but he’d already shown you who he was! If you cared for me or had an ounce of true feelings, then you should have told me all of this from the beginning. Right now, I think that you are only throwing salt! This is the lamest shit that I’ve ever heard!”
I am furious.
“Just like you signed that marriage certificate when you wanted, you signed the divorce papers without a second thought. That’s why I didn’t say anything. You needed to experience the pain for yourself. It wasn’t going to mean shit to you, had I told you.”
He is making good sense.
I am still upset though. I want to be out of his space and there is no greater sign that I need to do that, than my cell phone ringing inside of my purse. The call is coming from Pain.
“Hello?”
“Hey, I’m glad that you answered my call. I was sure that you would send me to voi
cemail.”
“Is there some kind of plot to this story? What is it that you want? I don’t have all day for shits and giggles with you!”
“I came to the house to talk to you woman to man. It wasn’t till I got there, that I realized I wasn’t willing to let you go.”
“Okay, but we’ve been through this already. As much as you hate to let go, is the same way that I don’t want this marriage anymore.”
“That’s just it. We have to get a divorce because I’ve decided that putting my family back together with Tiffani is the best thing for me right now. The papers are signed. I took them to your lawyer yesterday. I’m sorry for everything that I have done to hurt you, Kam. I’m so sorry that things have turned out the way that they have. I would give my…..”
Pain keeps right on driving the stake into my heart.
75
I am done listening to his pitiful excuses. I hang up on his ass in the sweetest calmest, swipe of a fingertip that I possess. The man has talked about Tiffani, as if she was a rabid wood rat but he is now divorcing me to get back together with her.
Men talk all that shit about women in the streets when they are in a relationship with them . . . Then all of sudden, they are hugged up with the very same females that they have talked about!
If I wasn’t stripped of raw emotions before, I sure as hell am now. Broderick holds me in his arms, from the back. I can’t possibly understand how it is that he knows what I need, but it is most definitely appreciated.
No words are spoken, as he stands tall and folds my small frame in his arms. When I get tired of standing, I wiggle free and then make my way to my own bedroom in the suite. After a hot bath, I make it out to the patio, to see a beautiful sunrise over the ocean. The breeze is nice enough to dry my wet head in only a matter of minutes, as I take the time to take in God’s crafty work.
“You’re going to go a full twenty four without sleep?”
“FUCK! You scared the shit outta me!”
He chuckled. “I’m sorry, Ma. You must have been deep in thought.”
“I was admiring this view. This is a sight to behold.”
He then takes a seat in a padded patio chair beside me.
“You’re right.”
I pray that he won’t mess up the view with more ugly conversation. He gets the memo because he sits back and then puts his feet up. I am grateful that he has decided to come along on this trip. I would have been suicidal if I’d gotten Pain’s news, with all of my people back in the states. Just as the heat is beginning to get real, I break the silence.
“I’m sorry that I gave you such a hard time yesterday. I’m glad that you’re here.”
I pull the hotel robe closer to my body, as I squeeze by his large frame to get back into my room. I adjust the air and then I get into bed. The TV ends up watching me, as I fall asleep.
I awake hours later to a soft knock on the door. The sun is just starting to go down. I am shocked that I have slept so long and so hard.
“Hey Sweetheart, is everything okay?”
“Umm, yes. I’m just now waking up. You can come in.”
My roommate turns the knob and enters into the room.
“It’s cold as hell in here!”
I laugh.
“I have to be cold to sleep.”
“I’m getting ready to order dinner. Do you want me to order something for you?”
He hands me the hotel’s menu as he talks.
“Yes, give me a second though.”
It is then that I realize that I am completely naked.
“Broderick!”
More laughs.
“Girl, I already know what you’ve got!”
“Good! So you won’t feel like you are missing anything!”
Robed again, I jump out of bed to brush my teeth and to wash my face. I pinch my half white cheeks to get some color to my face. I only run my fingers through my hair.
“I don’t know why you in there trying to get cute! This ain’t the first time that I’ve come in this room to check on you. I ain’t said nothing about that slob coming out your mouth around lunch time or that you were at the foot of the bed by three. You sleep wild as hell to be so damn cute.”
He falls back on the bed, as I double over with laughter.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Stymy!”
His laughs are cut short.
“Watch your step, Ma!”
Dinner that night is pretty normal, considering the train wreck that the night before has been. I have to admit that I feel at ease with the man, that makes it so easy. I don’t want to, but I find myself comparing him to Pain. Their similarities are so few and far in between, so it is a lost cause.
I find out that Broderick already has a Bachelor’s degree in Finance and is half way done with his Master’s program. I don’t know of any street men who has a degree from an accredited university.
After dinner we sit on the same couch, opposite ends, checking on our assignments and grades. It is killing me to see what his grades look like. Imagine my surprise, when I find out that his grade point average is higher than mines. I can place the blame on Pain’s foolishness for throwing me off track, but I am a grown woman. I need to take responsibility for myself.
“With all that you do every day, when do you have time to go to class?”
“I’m in night school. After all these years, Sanye doesn’t even know.”
“How did you get a degree, without the woman you live with not knowing about it?”
“She was too wrapped up in herself and her own tricks to be concerned with me.”
“I’m sorry that you had to go through that alone.”
“I wasn’t alone. My parents were there and my sisters.”
“Sanye doesn’t talk to your family?”
“They can’t stand her.”
I laugh. I’m not about to mess up my karma, speaking on Sanye’s character.
76
We chop it up for a little while longer, before we decide to turn in for the night. In the king sized bed that is cool and heavenly, I hold onto the pillows beside me. I need to hold on to something. With the sunrise comes a man that seems as though he is ready to see the world again, through my eyes.
He wakes me up at an ugly seven thirty and an hour later I am dressed for comfort in a scandalous bikini underneath. Seeing the sites by foot and shopping in the common areas, leads us to the beach. Clothing is shed and my new best friend gets more than an eyeful.
“Don’t you think that you need to put on a wrap or something?”
“Hell naw! I don’t work hard to walk around in a wrap!”
I frolic around in the water.
He is content getting only his toes and certainly nothing above his ankle bone wet. I swim out, enjoying the ocean and the scenery. Every time that I stick my head from up out of the water, my protector is standing in the same spot, watching only me. I stand up and then walk back to the shore. Broderick becomes irate when a few men stop to take my picture. I only smile and strike poses.
“Man, ya’ll need to get the fuck on! What ya’ll taking pictures of my girl for?”
“You need to learn how to chill, Sir!”
He is too quick to wrap an oversized towel around my body.
“Aye, we’re gone have to do something about this situation. We need to find a real mall, so you can get a one piece or maybe you need to stick to the hotel pool…shit, I don’t know!”
I laugh. “Do you think that I came all the way down here to swim in a hotel pool? I could’ve did that in Arizona! You’re tripping!”
I dressed the way that I have for a reason. This day makes the second time that he’s been bothered about the prospect of me being with another man or another man being interested in me.
Pain has always put me in the spotlight, as some sort of accessory but never protecting me from other men . . . Unless that I was going out without him. Stymy isn’t having that shit at all. He doesn’t appreciate any eyes
on me.
All the while he protects my surroundings, he also keeps an intensive look of pure amazement in his eyes, whenever he looks at me. I haven’t felt that kind of heat in a long time. I guess that an STD would kill that type of shit in mid-air.
Broderick and I stay on the beach talking and getting drunk for hours. After the deal with my male fans, he has a private area secluded for us. This way we can relax, unbothered with the rest of the vacationers.
Even liquored up, he remains a gentleman. He never steps out of character or suggests anything sexual at me. In a way, it feels as if I am chilling with my brother. Except now, I know that my brother is in love with me. The walk back to the resort is quiet, until the big man begins to confess.
“I’ve been down here twenty times by myself.’
“Dang! We have a few things in common, Bro.”
“I’ve never experienced anything so full of chemistry. Stop fronting, even you can’t fake a brother and sister type of relationship between us.”
“A lot of people can get hurt.”
My heart is torn.
The man has a beautiful spirit.
“My happiness and ensuring your happiness is far more important.”
“I’ve heard all of this before…..”
“Before you heard anything, you were confused in silence and fear.”
He is speaking the gospel and we both knew it too. I have no comeback.
Days begin to pass. A kindred joining of the souls is made. Laughs are experienced that are so full of joy, that they bring tears to my eyes. Over breakfast, lunch, and dinner Broderick lifts the veil and becomes transparent only for me.
He prays over our meals. There is no ‘if she doesn’t ask, I’m not going to tell and never have our lips touched. Our hands never join. We never share a bed a full night, bellies are never smashed. In my mind, my value as a woman would depreciate if I allow him between my legs.
The entire time, the man never even brings it up. My first vacation is the best one that I’ve ever had. Instead of either of us embarking on this trip alone, we do it together. Instead of offering me the world in twenty four hours, the man requests my friendship first.