by Zi'ere
“I already told you that you shouldn’t even be here, so you really should stop wasting time.”
My hands are on my hips and my voice is defensive.
“Kam it’s a lot of shit that falls under everything that you’ve said. I don’t know where in the hell to start.”
He truthfully looks uncomfortable.
I want to laugh.
“Let me jog your memory, Sweet Cheeks.”
I place my laptop on the end table.
Without Broderick knowing it, I have downloaded all of the video clips that he has on his laptop onto my flash drive. Watching how busy that my husband has been has put me in a different head space, since I first saw the clip days ago.
Looking at Pain’s face and posture, I can tell he is sure that whatever I am about to show him is not going to be a good look for him. As the system boots up, I look over at him again. He’s sweating.
“Let’s see here. Because I’m not a petty broad, I’m just gonna stick to your movements since the day that we were married. No need to focus on the shit that happened, when I was too stupid to ask the man I was dating about it.”
I click on a video that is dated the same as our wedding day.
The video of Sanye being quick fucked in my bed for five minutes during the reception starts to play with one click of the mouse.
“You have a minute to save your life.”
He looks up at me and is met with the end of a silencer that is connected to my nine millimeter.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” He screams, as if he’s just watched a tape of me with my thong pulled to the side by another man.
I have no words for him but I am all ears.
“KAM, I’M SORRY! A NIGGA WAS BEING GREEDY! I COULDN’T CATCH ALL THE PUSSY BEING THROWN AT ME, A MUFU WAS BOUND TO GET GREEDY AT SOME POINT. I WAS WRONG, I WAS A FUCKIN IDIOT, I DON’T DESERVE YOU AND I KNOW IT.
DON’T KILL ME FOR THAT SHIT THOUGH. YOU’RE ALREADY DIVORCING ME. I SIGNED THE PAPERS- YOUR ATTORNEY HAS THEM RIGHT NOW. PLEASE DON’T DO THIS SHIT, THIS AIN’T EVEN YOU!”
I am getting irritated hearing his weak ass lie to my face, as he cries out like a punk.
“Is that everything you want to say to me?”
More sniffles.
My voice is calm and composed.
“You still haven’t explained to me why I should let you live, when you were passing diseases to me from hoes in the street. What the fuck can you say about killing me with AIDS? Everything was supposed to be between me and you. Do you remember that? Then you are fucking with your boy’s girl?”
“A NIGGA SORRY! DON’T KILL ME- THINK OF MY CHILDREN! KAM, YOU KNOW THIS AIN’T YOU!”
Pain is now scrunched up in the corner end of the couch. I can’t believe how much of a bitch that he is. I won’t ever forget this day for the rest of my life. At one point this man had me actually living in fear. There was a time that I thought he could protect me from all harm.
I really thought that he was a man to be feared. I used to think that he was that dude. In reality, the truth is that I’d married a punk ass coward and a whore. There is no way to tell how or why but I feel so ashamed. I actually fell for the banana in a tailpipe.
I should have gotten my man appraised. Then I would have found out that he isn’t worth shit. He did teach me how not to love. He also broke my heart. And he has also been dirty. I decide then and there that the Earth will be a whole lot cleaner without him in it.
I can feel my finger getting tighter on the trigger. My heart is beating on double time, while Pain cries and begs for his life. All of a sudden a bigger hand covered my small one.
“You really gonna kill this muthafucka?”
I freeze in place.
“For the first time in years, Ole Boy finally says some real shit to you and you gonna kill him for it? This ain’t you, Baby Girl.”
Broderick’s voice takes over the room.
“How in the hell do you know what’s me? This muthafucka made a fool out of me. He thought nothing of me for real. All of the pain I have gone through, I’ve taken it like a shot of tequila and I keep that shit moving! Now his ass is in here crying. I’m sick of ya’ll telling me what’s me! Neither one of ya’lls asses know me for real!”
Broderick holds me tight as he closes me in his arms, slipping the gun from my fingers. I talk into his shirt and cry harder than I ever had in my life.
“You need to thank your lucky stars that she needs me more than I need to get at your ass. Get the fuck on!”
Stymy is obviously taking over his throne again because all that shit Pain said before, well none of it was said again. I can’t say why but he will not let me go and my emotions get the best me again. I try with all I have to get loose of the grip on my body. I even kick at Pain as he runs pass me. I can’t see it but I hear him make contact with the floor.
“STUPID, LYING, NASTY ASS BITCH!” I shout out.
81
An hour later, I am still dazed to the point of shock. No matter what I do, I can’t decide if I was really going to kill Pain or not. I keep asking myself if I hate him enough to see him dead and to have those children who love him so much without a father.
I’d begged Broderick not to take the opportunity from me. The TV is on in my room but it’s watching me instead of the other way around. I am lying flat on my back, looking up at the ceiling. That’s when the emotions take over again. Tears began to run into my ears.
I feel like the unluckiest woman on earth in the love department. My own parents didn’t even love me. My mother had a choice to leave her money to the state of Arizona or sign it over to me. That wasn’t considered love in my book, since she’d known I was on my own and struggling financially.
The first man I fell for stomped on my heart, as if it were a cockroach. The second man I have grown to trust to protect my life is my ex’s used to best friend. Just on the laws of karma alone, I know that for me to be with Broderick would not be a good idea, ever in life.
I can’t understand these men. I have to believe that not one of them has a clear understanding on what the word control means. I know that I need to take better care of Kam. No one is going to love me if I don’t love myself. After coming close to committing a felony, I realize that I love myself way more than anyone else putting me in the position to do prison time.
Stymy had let Pain go free. That didn’t stop him from calling my phone back to back once he left the room though. Broderick tossed the phone out of the patio door where it fell nineteen stories down. The next day I had a new one but somehow Pain got that number as well.
Stymy’s patience is running thin. Maybe he is becoming stir crazy because he is going against who he is as a boss and a man. I turn my head to the right and I see him sitting in the recliner in the corner.
He is on post but still burning up his own phone with text messages. People say that only angry women text fast as hell. My love friend is proving that theory wrong. He has four phones in his lap. Once a message is sent on one, another vibrates. He even has one whistling when a new message comes in . . . That shit is getting on my last fucking nerve. The texting and then me complaining about the noise, goes on for hours.
I look at him and I can see the struggle in his eyes of watching me go through pain, while he still holds on to his integrity and respect for me. I can finally see the difference in the two men. Pain is belly to the ground, reptile style. I still have ties and emotional wreckage left over from him but I refuse to be a fool and let Broderick walk out of my life completely.
I am going to be smarter in the future. Nowhere in the world am I going to find another Broderick Adams. His look, his style, his status, his pockets, his security, and his loyalty- I am not retarded. The streets are going to face a case of double standard.
Calling me a whore or saying that I am jumping from one boss to the next is sure to come. Pain has done it. Broderick is doing it with me. Fuck the rest. We agreed on the same topic, Pain is a nonissue. As the woman that
I have grown to be, I need to settle where the respect is. Broderick respects me, Gavin does not.
“Come over here please.”
I need comfort and I know he does too.
In the next second, I am in the arms of my comforter. He always shows up when I need him most. He left but came back just in time to stop me from doing something I could never undo.
“So it’s you and me?”
He questions, as if he cannot believe his luck.
“It’s you and me starting out slow. It’s you and me; helping each other to get back to happy.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
He holds on to my body tight. I can feel his heartbeat in my chest. It’s time and I know it. I haven’t been touched by a man in months. All of a sudden my body is tingling, while this man holds me just like he has always done. For the first time I push my ass against his groin. Because of his height I have to slide down to get into perfect spooning position.
We are connected like puzzle pieces and his heart starts to beat faster. I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. I moan. Seconds later I feel the heat of an erection against my ass. My thighs begin to throb. His length travels up the crack of my ass. Even with the barrier of clothing I can still tell that he is bone hard.
“Come on Babe, let’s get cleaned up and order something to eat.”
He says, as he tries to pull me to my feet.
I moan again, grabbing his hands and wrapping them around me again.
“Don’t do something that you are going to regret again.”
“I don’t believe in regrets. Everything that is meant to happen does.”
I speak, as I pull the sweatshirt over my head.
In a serious moment with sexual tension heating up the room, I can tell that he’s not prepared to see the skin toned strapless bra and thong set. I watch as his eyes scan my body. He is so good at giving me a once over, just like an over protective parent. He runs both sets of fingers from the top of my head down to the soles of my feet.
Ready to get on with the business I push him onto his back. I feel him tremble, as the wetness of my crotch meets his skin. My pussy is throbbing as if it holds my heart. From his stomach on down to his groin, I slide down the ride. I leave a trail of juices on the way down. I have to go further to be able to clean him up with my tongue. He sucks in his breath in anticipation.
I coax him to raise his body up, so that I can strip him of his pants and boxers. Freeing his manhood makes the sound of a hard slap against his stomach. I’m not the type of woman to compare but the man is well worth mentioning. Where Pain has thickness, Stymy has him beat with the added advantage of even more length. One is dark skinned and the other is lighter, yet they both fit the description of pipe fitters.
Each is a challenge for a woman who can marry the dick and be content in the bedroom for the rest of her life. I will never regret hopping on. One thing that makes me cream even more is when I’m looking at a clean dick. He has not been dipping in all the boxes of Arizona. I was a fool once. That only makes me want to protect myself more. I took the time to do the research on this Adonis. He is more valuable than gold.
Still in between his legs, I gather up enough spit to make a trail from his balls to the top of the mushroom tip.
“WHHHHHHOOOOOOAAA SHIT! EHHH, HOLD UP RIGHT QUICK!”
In fear, the gentle giant runs up to the head board.
“Since when do you run from me?”
The smile on my face is wicked.
82
I shed my underwear as I chase my prize. It isn’t long before he is watching me closely as I go down on him. His facial expression suggests that he is in pain or is smelling something funky. I know differently. He is getting the best of the only woman that he wants. It pains him to see just how nasty that I can get.
We are being intimate in the most sacred ways. I can’t comprehend why after all that we have been through that he is still shocked by my behavior. Feeling his soldiers getting ready for deployment, I straddle him again. This time I know that plunging down on the pipe will make me hurt for days afterward. So therefore I ease down, clinching him with my walls at the same time.
“You know that I’m not going to just walk away again right?”
He is holding a handful of my hair.
He forces my head back. As he licks my neck and nurses on my nipples.
“I don’t remember ever telling you to leave the first time.”
I stand flat footed on the bed.
He has no choice but to let my hair go and hold on for the ride by grabbing me by my ankles. Four long, slow, and tight squats later the man is now coming inside of me like a sky rocket. Skin to skin, with his face smothered in my bosom, the tough as nails boss falls asleep cradled inside of my arms.
With a lot of stretching I manage to ease my cell phone from the nightstand. I need to have proof of how I have his ass strung out after the effects of only a mild sex session. I take five pics of the handsome man, who won me over from the start. I won’t show the pictures to anyone but him, I just want bragging rights.
I put the phone back down on the table. Getting comfortable again, the sadness comes back. Here we are still living a fantasy life in Hawaii. Back in the states, we have no idea what we will be facing once we step off of the plane. I have obviously signed on for another relationship with another man out of the blue.
Dinner ends up being a few hours later than normal. In the dual spray showers, we get clean and dirty again with another round of sex. Holding me up with my legs wrapped around his waist is the position that has both of us cussing out loud.
Sitting at the table on the patio, with an oversized towel wrapped around my body seems like a new normal to me. This trip has changed so much for he and I. When we’d first gotten here, I can admit that I was pissed to have a baby sitter. Now….if he wasn’t here I know that I would be missing him without a doubt. The fact still remains that I need to make some things known. I am going to beat around the bush with him, so I blurt out in a rush scaring us both.
“It’s me or the streets. I won’t play second to anything else for the rest of my life. I can show you how serious that I am way better than I can tell you.”
I don’t mean to get on his nerves with my words.
“I know what I’m doing. It may be hard at first, but trust me. I can do what is required of me to make you a happy woman.”
I take a deep breath and look into his eyes.
“I choose you, Kam. I left the streets behind when you came into the picture. I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to be the fool that Pain is.”
Our promise of a legitimate future is sealed with a kiss across the table. I know that when he has to get the business to turning millions in profits again, that he will forget everything that he has promised on this night. All men do it. I am not going to be hurt or surprised when the time comes for him to get back into it heavy.
He is going to be conflicted. I know that he will even look at me as if I’ve reduced him as a man and provider. He is a millionaire but it won’t be enough. There is always easy money out there to be had. He will get it too, while I sit at home waiting for him to come home.
I know that you are heartbroken but he isn’t Pain, Kam. You will be worse than he is if you make him pay for Pain’s fuckups.
Broderick snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Go ahead and finish your dinner. I need to make some calls. I also need to make sure that the scandalous ass rats are off of this island. I can’t rest with trouble lurking. And then I need to give some orders back home.”
“Ok. Take your time.”
He nods and then he starts to walk off.
“I’m serious Broderick! Don’t let your first day be your last day on the job.”
“I’m not going to lie and tell you that I won’t get back if he comes for me.”
“Do what you have to do to save your life.”
“And save yours.”<
br />
“Yes. And save mines.”
I nod.
“Damn, you just gave me my first marching rights! I’m feeling it though….”
He is trying to divert but I catch him.
I try with all of my might to eavesdrop on the conversations that he is having. I come back into the suite but it seems as though every move that I make, he goes in the opposite direction. I go to use the restroom and leave the door halfway open, with hopes of catching some tidbits.
He doesn’t fall for the set up. I count eleven different calls starting and ending. He isn’t upset with his words, nor is he shouting but he obviously isn’t talking to his mother either. I give myself headache straining my ears and mind to piece together sentences, so I give up.
From my bedroom the panels, up to the patio doors comes the response to a door being opened and closed in the suite. I scramble to my feet. From room to room, I search for him. Broderick is gone, without saying a word. My heart drops to my feet.
83
Three hours later and there is still no sign of Broderick. He hasn’t called the room or my cell phone to return the nine hundred calls that I place to him. What he does do is turn all of the phones off completely.
I sit down at the desk in my bedroom in front of my laptop. I need a ticket off of the island as soon as possible. It is going to cost me a grip to change my ticket but I don’t care. There is trouble in what was once considered to be a safe and peaceful place. He’s taken off without so much as a word and there is no better time to make sure that some folks miss me for once.
I know there is no trouble in Chandler at the moment because all the trouble is here for now, so it is time for me to go home. It only takes me a few minutes to throw my belongings back into the luggage and to sit down in a chauffeured car headed back to the airport. Broderick won’t have to worry about Kam anymore. I have the power to make that decision for him.