by Zi'ere
“I work in environments I control, not the other way around. If she was met with an unfortunate incident then she had more problems than I knew about. You should be happy.”
“I’m upset that I didn’t know about it before hand. Why else would I be calling you in the middle of the night?”
I hear the beeps of the kitchen door.
“I’ve got to go!” I hang up before he has a chance to answer me.
I scramble to turn on the TV and I allow tears of hurt and shear happiness to wash over my face.
“KAM!”
I ignore him, so that he comes upstairs. When he lays eyes on me, I can see concern and a sly as a fox look at the same time on his face. His eyes tell me that he had something to do with Jai being erased off the map.
“Babe, why are you crying?”
“Now I know why Jai has been ignoring me, she was found dead. Did you see this on the news, while I was gone?”
“No!” He lies.
“You know the channel doesn’t leave ESPN when you aren’t watching your shows.”
He feeds me and then he holds me close, as I get my tears out. Not only am I crying for my cousin being gone, I am also crying for the way that she betrayed me. It’s during the madness that I realize that I haven’t talked to NaNa in days. I didn’t have a chance to ask Montrez about her and he hasn’t offered any information either. The two of them were thick as thieves and I can’t believe that Jai would drive to Vegas without her bestie. Memories of the past fill my head and I completely break.
My man tells on himself by not saying much. If he had found out Jai was smacking with bellies, then he also knew that I was aware of it as well. The fact that she’d hurt me was his motive. There are so many scenarios bouncing around in my head. And it’s not hard for me to fall into a deep sleep before long.
After the last few weeks, I am exhausted beyond compare. I can feel the babies getting too heavy and I am so tired, even walking throughout the house. On the scheduled day, the extra furniture is delivered and set up. I am not able to get out of bed to look at the second finished product. Broderick takes pictures for me but I am so uncomfortable that all of my excitement is gone.
The next day is Jai’s funeral services and he puts his foot down about me not being able to go. I can’t put up too much of a fight because if I do decide to go, I can’t wear anything other than a tank top and yoga pants. Yet the final process of my cousin lying in a coffin upsets me so bad, that I have even more trouble sleeping.
I am up before day in the morning, watching the news as if I am preparing to go out into the world for work. This is when I get the shock of a lifetime yet again. I turn up the TV to make sure that I catch all of the breaking news.
‘In other news this morning, seven bodies were found in a Riverside Subdivision. Family members confirm that the remains are those of Tiffani and Gavin Brown, with their five children all expired. No cause of death has been given as of yet, of course the medical examiner has his hands full.
Yet reports from Chandler Sherriff’s advices it appears the problem was carbon monoxide in large contents inside the home. Before we turn to other news we have to discuss the number of citizens that have gone missing or have been murdered in the last month in our area. Chandler hasn’t seen this number of tragedy ever.
We have to mention Ayaneka Reese, missing and presumed dead. Quanana Jackson, found in her home with circumstances resembling those of a suicide, also and Sanye Reese who is also missing and presumed dead. Please contact the sheriff’s office for any information you may have on these cases. Even the smallest tip helps.’
“BRODERICK!”
“WHOA, WHAT’S WRONG? IS IT TIME?” He jumps up out of a deep sleep.
Instead of answering his question, I rewind the news report so that he can listen for himself. As if he has just learned it was going to rain that day, he turns back onto his stomach without saying a word.
“So this is all your work?”
No answer.
“BRODERICK ANSWER ME! EVERY PERSON THAT I KNEW LAST YEAR HAS BEEN WIPED OFF OF THE MAP! WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?”
“Kam there is no need to get yourself all worked up. You knew this shit was coming, whether I did it or not.”
“My issue is with each of these people being linked back to me in one way or another. Did you ever think about how that is going to work out for me? Pain is my ex-husband for crying out loud! But, why are the children dead?”
“Maybe that was the best outcome at the time…I don’t know. I’ve been here with you the whole time remember?”
“I need for you to stop acting like you are a saint! Everybody in the world is doing wrong except for Stymy? That’s some bullshit that I don’t believe! You have skeletons as well!” I never thought I would cry over Pain but I am.
“I have skeletons but they are usually the result of someone putting my wife or my children in danger! Them mufu’s were about to take you….do you remember that? What if it was you and my children found dead?
You are a wife. Your job is to adjust, push through this life, looking good at all times. I am the boss of a multi-million dollar organization! You can’t possibly understand the adjustments that I have to make every day!”
“So you just wanted a honey pot that looks good?”
“I’m not about to have an argument with you about them slimy ass muthafuckas! I told you a long time ago, that he had to go. Now he’s gone.”
He has real attitude in his words.
“But the kids though? Who kills kids?”
Tissues in hand, I am trying to get out of bed.
“Before you sit there and judge everyone all around you, think for a minute how those children are about their mom and their dad…shit doesn’t just happen because we don’t have hearts! I’m not cold hearted, I’m not ruthless, or am I reckless! I do what has to be done for the better benefit of everyone involved.”
He turns to face me but he isn’t really showing emotions about the family that he has taken out, he is checking me out.
“Just like you aren’t going to that service today, you damn sure ain’t going to that one either!”
With those words, he turns his head and then he gets comfortable.
I am so angry that all I can see is red. Water wants to come out of my body from the top to the bottom, so I head to the bathroom. I turn on some music, while I get a cool shower and fix myself up. I don’t know how many times that I have to tell him, but Broderick is not my damn daddy.
There is no way that I can miss the funeral of my own cousin. Had Montrez bumped her, then I probably would not have gone but I have no idea who her murderer is. I have to say my final goodbyes to the bitch whose pussy juices were in my husband’s goatee.
I feel the need to see her ass dressed in the finest, yet cold as popsicles, stretched out in a coffin on her back. I am not interested in seeing my God babies though. That is the hardest part about the process.
Fresh out of the shower, I lotion up, and then I spray on my favorite perfume all over my body. I am in my closet trying to find something with enough spandex to it that would be suitable for a funeral. When I reach up to grab a clutch bag to go with my outfit, imagine my surprise when my water breaks.
“BRODERICK! BRODERICK!”
“WHATTTTT! DAMN KAM YOU ARE ACKIN’ THIS MORNING! WHAT I DID I DO NOW?”
“SHUT YOUR ASS UP AND LOOK!” I point down to the wet puddle that I am standing in.
“SEE THAT’S WHAT YOU GET TRYING TO BE SMART AND SNEAKY! I GUESS THAT YOU WERE PLANNING ANOTHER DISAPPEARING ACT WITH YOUR DAVID COPPERFIELD ACTING BEHIND!
I’M ABOUT TO GET MY BABIES AND YOUR ASS WILL BE TIED DOWN FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS! TODAY IS THE GOTDAMN DAY THAT I GET TO BE A DADDY! WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT THAT?”
My immature husband is in the middle of doing a touchdown dance in an imaginary end zone in my closet.
I call down to the service quarters to have the maid come up and clean my mess. I push past Bro
derick, grabbing a sweat suit, and clean underwear. I then get back into the shower to clean myself once again. I dress myself and head downstairs while the fool is still carrying on dancing and singing.
I am not in any pain and I feel so peaceful, it’s almost like déjà vu. I had the same feeling when I met my dad for the first time. In the kitchen, I have a snack of fruit and water while I wait for my oldest kid to join me. I also call Ant to let him know that I am on my way to the hospital to deliver his God babies, that is- if his boss gets his ass in gear.
When we hang up, I hear my husband’s phone ringing upstairs. I can hear bits and pieces of the conversation, since it is on speaker. But not even my salty attitude can stop me from laughing when I hear:
How much time do you think she has before she starts to go into real labor while you are in your damn closet trying to get fresh and shit? If you think she has been nailing your ass to the wall, imagine how she’s going to act when the pain starts! Damn man! Fuck! Kam gone end up killing your ass and I’m going to help her!
Not five minutes later, my man is running down the stairs. He passes by me twice making sure that he has everything I have already told him we have to have. He’s carrying my designer labor duffle bag, the kid’s duffle bag, and the three car seats. They are still in the boxes, even though I have asked nine hundred times for them to be strapped into the family truck.
He’s taken the classes to learn how to do it by the book but is always too busy following me to get it done. I am still sitting at the bar when I hear the garage door go up, the truck exit, and then the garage door closes. The man has gotten on my last nerve and I am not in the mood for his foolishness.
I hit a few buttons on my phone to put him on a speaker cell call.
“You know that it’s going to be real hard to get these babies into the car seats, if I’m still at home.”
I don’t raise my voice and I don’t have an attitude. But I still hang up on him.
106
After six hours of hard labor, the Adams’ family welcome our triplets into the world. In order of birth, my girl has been out of her brother’s way in utero but she was the first one out, just like a lady.
Khloe Breanne, Bryce Knight, and then Brent Keith Adams were all delivered naturally without any pain medications and weighing in at exactly five pounds each. What their dad did not catch on video, their God father caught by camera, and the both of them were told more than once to get out of the way of the camera for my daddy.
My plan was to breastfeed them all from the start but my body wasn’t cooperating with me to stay awake to finish the process. I later saw photos of their dad holding two of them up to my bosom while I was knocked out cold.
With three hospital bassinets in the room, my husband and I decide our children can’t be out of our sight for more than a second. While we are all knocked out at a little after two am, I am expecting to see a nurse come into the room to check on me and the babies. I pretend to be sleep as Ant swabs the inside of Khloe’s mouth with a large cotton swab.
I had to hold my eyelids down with force. I knew that this is a part of the process that has to be done sooner than later but I can’t decipher the hurt Broderick is going to feel if the babies are not his. Hell, I will probably end up missing, like every other person in my life.
I am terrified. I know that Ant will give me the news straight up and won’t be on a embarrass type set up. I pray to everything that is holy that my family is truly legit as the marriage.
After three days of lying on my back, I decide that it is a must that I get back to my own home. I am loving the babies’ personalities. They take the cutest pictures, with angel wings on their backs, in nothing but diapers, and dressed in matching outfits. The nurses all dote on them. In such a short amount of time, they have taught me the tricks of the trade in taking care of three babies, all on my own.
As soon as the doctor hints at my being released, I am dressed and packed by the time the nurse comes to take my IV out. Broderick is being unusually quiet the past few days. He looks as though he has a lot on his mind but with all of the visitors and hospital staff in and out, we haven’t had a chance to have a heart to heart. Loaded up in the truck, we all buckle up in seat belts. I bring it up to him.
“Babe, is everything okay?”
“Uh, ummm- yeah. Why would you ask me that?”
“It just seems like you have been a million miles away the last few days.”
“I have a lot on my mind, that’s all. I mean, this is a lot to process.”
“Bae, we knew that we were having triplets for a while.”
“Naw, it’s not that. I’m just perfecting my next move. Everything has to be what’s best for the babies.”
I rub his arm, as he drives. I am not sure if he is just driving aggressively or if he really doesn’t want my hand on him. Either way, the gesture hurts my feelings. We make it to the house and when I put the babies down for a nap after a diaper change, I stay in their nursery. I don’t feel like being in the same space as Broderick.
I hear my phone ring and I am stunned when I hear him answer it. I never answer his phone and he’s never answered mine- that I knew of before today. I hear him tell Ant I am putting the babies down for a nap. Because of our situation, I decide that I can’t afford to miss a call from Ant. On my way to the bedroom, his ringtone sounds off from my other phone.
Broderick answers it as well, still not giving me the chance to see what he wants. He now has my phones sitting in his lap and something in my gut is telling me that reaching or even asking for the phones won’t be a smart thing to do. Instead, I head to my night stand and pick up my iPad.
Once I am back in the nursery, I send Ant an email. He quickly responds that I have a problem that I didn’t see coming. He asks me to get my go back with my weapons and to put them in the same room as I am in. He asks if I have to put the items into a diaper bag and to strap it across my chest.
Without waiting for an answer, he tells me that is what I need to do. I don’t like the fact that he is using all capital letters when talking to me. I send him a message back asking about the blood work, trying to figure out if that is what has him in panic mode. The reply is that the blood is pure.
I take a deep breath of sorrow, knowing that at some point I have to take a chance on my life telling Stymy anything different. Ant tells me that he is handling business but that he is on his way to my house as soon as possible. He tells me that I need to protect myself and the babies from their dad.
Whatever food, water, or chargers need to be gathered in the nursery with the door locked for as long as possible. When I ask him why, I am not prepared for what he tells me. But I do understand why he thinks I am in danger for my life.
The fact that my husband hadn’t come in the nursery to check on the babies or me after hours is a tell-tale sign. I am in more fear in than I have ever been in my life. I tread lightly to the kitchen to fill the bag with things that I might need if I can’t come out of the room for the rest of the night. I am arranging my things out of sight in the closet when Broderick walks up on me.
“You know, when I found out that you were pregnant I was happier than I had ever been in my life.”
I don’t say anything because I don’t want to set him off. Especially, when I have no clue what his mental capacity is at the moment. I look at him with attention as I snap the gun off safety with a hand that he can’t see.
“When my mother died I was lost. I had no one to turn to that I felt would understand my pain, so I stayed away from everyone. But then Sanye found me and nursed me back to life.”
My stomach does flips.
Why is he talking about Sanye in our children’s space?
“That is where you are wrong. The same day that I had the miscarriage before…that is the same day that my mother died.”
“Damn! I forgot about that. Damn.”
I am too scared to move.
“Kamille, I messed up.”
H
e leans up against the door frame.
“What are you talking about, Babe? This is supposed to be a happy time for us.”
“Sanye wanted children. When she comforted me during that time I found out that she couldn’t get pregnant. But somehow she already knew that you were pregnant.”
“What does that have to do with anything that’s going on right now?”
“We talked about a lot of things carefully for long lengths of time.”
“Stop stalling and tell me the truth!” I am trying to keep my voice down so I won’t disturb or scare my babies.
“I told her that when you gave birth that I would bring her my baby. We are going to have our family. She apologized for all of her wrongs and I believed her. You have three, why can’t you let her have one, Kam? You know we will take care of him just like you would.”
“So you married me a few days ago to get your hands on one of my babies?”
“I married you so that I could become a widower. I told her just last week that there was no way that you were going to let us have all three, unless you were dead. She said she is tired of the way that you think you are better than her.”
“The only thing that you can do that I can’t is get pregnant.”
Sanye appears from behind the shield of Broderick’s body.
“So the plan is to dead me and then to raise my children as your own?”
“Babe, she’s figured it out. I told you that she is smart.”
“So even though she was sucking and fucking your best friend, you think this trick is better suited to raise my kids than me?”
“She is so self- righteous! I guess she ain’t going to say shit about fucking Ant all this time!”
“I don’t give a damn if I was fucking Barack Obama! If you think your scandalous asses are about to walk up out of my house with my babies, then ya’ll got me and this life time fucked up!”
“Oh, we aren’t leaving…you are. This is our home.”
I start to laugh. Many people wouldn’t think the situation is one that is suitable for a smile, but I do. Broderick has done the same thing that Pain, Tiffani, Jai, and Neka have done- they forgot that the game isn’t shit without the Queen. I am the queen of this throne, since day one and I will still be tomorrow.