by K E Osborn
“Okay, well now that’s out of the way, I just want to say that if we go on tour we can’t let the fame go to our heads. We have to remember that we are family and family comes first. So anytime you have any issues or problems make sure you come and talk to me or whoever you feel comfortable with and they can talk to me. Either way, I want to help you guys as much as possible through this journey and know I will always be here for support or a friendly ear. Whatever you guys need, I will be here. Just think of me as your big brother,” Caleb says and even though he can be a dick, and most people think he is a dick, he’s not that bad after all. He does care about us and our wellbeing, so I just hope that if anyone does feel down or anything at any time they do confide in Caleb because I know I will.
“Thanks Caleb,” Ella says.
“Yeah, thanks, man,” Chad repeats as Aston and I say nothing.
I look over at him and he looks miserable, about as miserable as I feel. I just wish I knew how to fix this. Chad and Caleb start talking and I tune out. They’re laughing and having a great time while I sit here in my own little world thinking about Aston, and how even though he’s only a few metres away from me, I can still feel the hairs on my arms standing to attention and that all too familiar buzz running through me. I stand up and walk over to my phone to check out Facebook, mainly just to get away from the happyfest that’s taking place all around me. I want to wallow for a little bit.
“Hey, are you okay?” a sweet voice chimes near me breaking me from my dazed state.
“I’m okay, Ella,” I reply and she steps in front of me and puts her hand on my shoulder for comfort. I can hear her talking, but I can’t stop my eyes from wandering over to Aston, who’s sitting with the guys, but not participating in their conversation. He looks terrible and I know he knows I’m looking at him, but he won’t look back at me.
A sudden panic washes over me.
What if he never wants to talk to me again?
What if I’ve lost him for good?
I bite my bottom lip to stop it from trembling and I feel Ella pull me in for a hug, but I don’t react in any way. I just can’t stop staring at Aston. I can’t hold back the floodgates and a small sob escapes me and everyone turns to look as my hand rushes to my mouth and tears start to fall down my cheeks. Aston furrows his brows and I can’t take this anymore. I break free from Ella’s arms and run out of the music room. I just need to be away from the abundance of overwhelming cheeriness that’s in this room right now. I feel anything but cheerful and all I want is Aston.
Maybe I’ve been stupid all this time?
Maybe what I am feeling is actually something more than friendship?
I race upstairs and to my room without anyone following me, which I am grateful for. I walk in and slam the door shut. I didn’t mean to slam it, it just kind of happened. I walk over to my bed and wipe the tears away from my face. I hate that I can feel like this. It’s so confusing and I’ve never felt like it before. I have such torn feelings of wanting Aston to hold me so much it hurts, but the thought of him holding me also terrifies me.
I lean over to my bedside table and pull out my iPod from the drawer and put the buds in my ears. I lay down on the bed and try to get lost in the sounds of a really old band called ‘Orgy.’ Their cover of ‘Blue Monday’ plays in my ears and I sink into the bed, closing my eyes and getting lost in the heavy beats from the track.
Knock, knock.
I can just hear it above the music playing in my ears. I open my eyes and look toward the door. It’s probably Ella.
“Come in,” I say and take the earbuds from my ears and sit up on the bed. The door opens and Aston is standing in there in the doorway looking as terrible as I feel. I wipe a stray tear from my cheek and swallow a lump that’s formed in my throat.
“Can we talk?” he asks and I instantly feel a pull, like I want to run and jump into his arms. But I stay in my bed and simply nod. He walks in closing the door and then comes over and sits down on my bed next to me. Our legs are touching and I feel a spark shooting from my leg and right up my centre. I look away from him trying not to show that I’m actually feeling something really strong right now. He rests his hand on my leg and squeezes slightly.
“Annie, I don’t know what I’ve done to make you avoid me, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to think when you won’t even look at me right now. I’m your best friend. I’ve known you your whole life. Why are things awkward right now? What did I do?” he asks and his deepening voice only makes my insides giddy.
“I’m only avoiding you because you’re avoiding me? And you didn’t do anything,” I say and he exhales and huffs.
“Then why the hell won’t you look at me?” he asks sounding hurt.
I turn to look at him and his blue eyes shine so brightly that I’m a little awestruck by him. He’s filled out well since we were kids and for eighteen, he’s really muscular and toned and I’ve never really noticed that before. Sure, I knew his abs were amazing, but I never actually taken in the incredible beauty that is Aston. He is simply breathtaking.
I swallow slowly as we stare at each other. There’s a buzz pulsating through the air between us and it’s making my heart race a million miles a second. I don’t know how he manages to do that, but every fibre of my being is alive and tingling in his presence. And all I want right now is for him to touch me, so I can feel that spark that emanates from us when our skin meets. I don’t know what’s happening to my body, but my eyes skim down from his eyes to his supple lips and I inadvertently lick mine in response. I’m not sure what’s happening right now, but all I do know is that I want to be closer to him. I feel a magnetic need to lean forward like I’m drawn to him. He’s looking at me and he swallows hard and looks a little like he might be shaking.
He inhales quickly like he’s preparing himself for something. I keep staring at his lips and he purses his lips together and I watch them open and his tongue darts out to lick his lips.
“Annie, I like you,” he says quickly and I blink my eyes breaking his trance.
I furrow my brows and sit in shock for a second as my heart races and a swarm of happy butterflies dance and flutter around in my stomach.
“Say something,” he begs and I shake my head slightly coming back into the now.
“You do?” I ask suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of undeniable happiness.
Maybe this is what I want, after all?
He nods and brings his hand up and his palm rests on my cheek as he caresses my face slowly. The shockwave I feel from his hand forces my eyes to close just so I can relish in his intimate contact. I nuzzle my cheek further into his hand and I open my eyes to see him smiling brightly and it simply takes my breath away. I smile back and we inch closer together. My heart rate is spiking even higher than I thought humanly possible as he inches his face closer to mine. I swallow and part my lips trying to breathe, but somehow I seem to have forgotten how to. He looks me in the eyes and I feel a strong pull toward him, like our souls are meant to be together for eternity. I decide to lean forward more showing him that I want this as much as he does. All my concerns are null and void at this moment because the only thing I want right now is for Aston to kiss me.
His hand moves from my cheek to the back of my head and he looks as nervous as I feel. I haven’t kissed anyone before, and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t either so this is a first for both of us. He gently pulls my head toward him and I close my eyes as he gets so close his nose is against mine. I can feel his fast and hot breath on my face. Slowly we inch together, his soft warm lips gently touching mine and it’s like a tirade of fireworks have gone off against my lips because they’re tingling so much. And it excites me. I have no idea how to do this, but I know you’re meant to open your mouth so I press my lips against his and then slowly open my mouth slightly. He moves in closer and his tongue softly enters my mouth. Usually, I’d think this is gross, but somehow, now that it’s happening to me it just feels so right. I move my hand up to hi
s cheek and caress his prickly five o’clock shadow across his beautiful skin. A buzz of energy is surging through me and it’s no wonder people kiss all the time.
This is magical.
It’s fantastical.
It’s… perfect!
I open my mouth a little more and move my tongue against his. I think we’re doing this right.
It’s so soft and gentle and it really is making me tingle in places I never knew could tingle like that. The tingling sensation has gone straight between my legs where it’s pulsating and my lower stomach is almost aching with need. I don’t know what that means, but I sure do like it. I kiss him back and I get more excited with each moment that passes as we continue to kiss. We start to get a little more into it and it becomes more heated. His hands rush to either side of my face as he holds me to him and my hand rushes to the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair and holding him to me. My other hand runs up his arm to hold onto his bulging bicep and right now, I couldn’t be happier about how much time he spends in the gym with his dad. Because holding onto his strong arm, is making my legs weak. It’s lucky I’m sitting down.
Aston edges closer to me as we kiss almost frantically. I can’t believe this is happening and I’m so glad that it is.
It feels so right!
His chest connects with mine and we’re both panting so hard that our chests are rubbing together. It makes me throb even more between my legs and I’ve never felt that before, but it’s certainly making this experience even better. He leans toward me and I follow his lead and fall back onto the mattress. His substantial body makes its way over mine and I can’t help it as I open my legs for the lower half of his body to rest in between them. He does and I wrap my legs around him needing him closer to the throbbing need that seems to be going on between my legs. I need to fix the ache I have for him. He moans slightly and puts his full weight on me and I can’t help but let out a small moan in response. It shocks me and I open my eyes as we continue to kiss and he somehow knows that I’ve opened mine and he looks right back at me.
I thought it would feel awkward looking at him while kissing. But I get lost in his eyes as our kiss slows down from frantic and is now back to gentle and dare I say it, passionate, tender kissing. I run my hand up his arm and grip on tightly while the other runs through his lengthy hair. It’s not shoulder length long like Caleb’s but still long enough that I can grab hold of it. His eyes lock with mine and as I kiss him, the beautiful tension eases and now the slow, steady kissing is making me feel weak again and I love every second of it. I can’t help but notice Aston’s boner rubbing against me. I thought it would make me laugh, but instead it sets a fire inside me that I don’t understand. I really want to be touching him in every way right now.
I close my eyes again and just relish in the fact that I’m making out with Aston. To be honest deep down I always knew he would be my first kiss, and if I’m honest with myself, I know this will be the first of many firsts to come.
I run my hand through his hair pulling him to me even more as I deepen the kiss and my back arches slightly to feel more contact with him. He responds by slowly grinding his crotch into me and I gasp at the wonderful feeling engulfing my whole body.
How the fuck does that feel so good?
I grind up into him and he moans as his tongue dances with mine. I’m feeling really good and I’m wondering why the hell it’s taken me this long to kiss Aston.
If this is what kissing is like, I need to be doing this all the time with him!
He grinds into me again and I moan pulling my lips from his as the pressure is too much. I need some air. He doesn’t stop kissing me though as I rest my head back into my pillow. He proceeds to run little kisses along my jaw and then down to my neck, nipping and biting softly which is only making me pant even harder. He kisses back up my jaw and back to my mouth. I open and let his tongue in and then I hear it, my door opens with a loud bang.
“What the fuck?” Dad yells.
Aston’s lips leave mine and I’ve never seen someone get up so quickly. He jumps off me using lightening speed and stands on the floor at the end of my bed as Dad just plain gawks at him.
“Have you got a boner?” Dad yells and I open my eyes wide in horror as Aston moves his hands to cover his groin.
“No sir,” he lies shaking his head.
“How long’s this been going on?” Dad shouts again and we both shake our heads.
“I’m sorry. Nothing was going on. I swear,” Aston says sounding terrified as Dad laughs at him.
“Kid, I just saw you snogging my seventeen-year-old daughter. To me, that is certainly something!” Dad says still glaring at Aston like he wants to kill him.
I sit up on the bed and fold my arms across my chest. “Dad, we weren’t doing anything wrong!”
“Annie, while you’re under my roof you will abide by my rules. That means no boys in the bedroom… ever! Now get out Aston before your dad hits me because I’ve hit you.”
“Dad, stop it! Aston, you don’t have to leave—”
“Aston, if you want to stay friends with my daughter then you will leave. And you won’t ever think about touching her in any way ever again, not even a hug until she is at least… I don’t know… thirty. Then we can talk again, but for now get out!” Dad yells and I look at Aston, who has not only a terrified look on his face, but his body is stiff as a board.
Aston looks at me and half-smiles and then walks over to the door where Dad is standing and he turns sideways edging past him trying not to get too close in case Dad decides to hit him. He squeezes past my unmoving dad and then takes one last look back at me and smiles. Dad turns his head toward Aston and he jumps and then quickly runs out down the hall and away from me.
“Are you proud of yourself?” I ask and he looks back at me and furrows his brows.
“Annie, you’re too young for this—”
“You can be such an over-protective arsehole sometimes, you know that? That was my first ever kiss and you ruined it! Just like you ruin everything! I hate you! Get out!” I yell at him as I feel embarrassment flooding over me. The embarrassment that we got caught, but more embarrassed by how Dad just kicked Aston out. I can’t help the tears that start to fall.
Dad winces and shakes his head. “You might hate me, but it’s for your own good. And I still love you anyway, but stay in your room and don’t come out until Anna and Johnny have taken their grubby-handed son home.”
Anger surges through me that he has turned something that was so beautiful, so perfect, so right, into something I feel embarrassed and ashamed about.
“Get out!” I yell and pick up a pillow throwing it at him.
He ducks out of the way and huffs. “See, if you can’t act grown up when I tell you off. Then you sure as hell aren’t grown up enough to be doing whatever was happening between you two,” he says and I scream at him.
“Ahhh,” I yell and pick up my water bottle on my bedside table and throw it at him then I follow it with anything else I can find. Some hit, most miss and he just stands there glaring at me as I scream and throw random shit at him. When I get to the last thing I can possibly throw, which is another pillow I throw it hard and it smacks him right in the face.
“Are you done now?” he asks.
I burst into tears and collapse onto the bed. “I hate you!” I say through a sob and he huffs and throws the two pillows back toward the bed.
“Get some sleep Annie, and we’ll talk about this tomorrow when you’ve calmed down,” he says and I turn my back to him and put up my middle finger.
“Fuck off and get out!” I yell and he huffs and then I hear footsteps and my door slams shut. I turn over to see he’s gone and I instantly feel relieved. I can’t believe he ruined everything. Aston will probably never come near me again, just as I realised that him being near me was exactly what I wanted all along.
I lean down and pick up the two pillows from the floor by my bed and pull them up and then rest
down on them. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, so I pull it out to see a message from Aston. My heart skips a beat and then pounds really fast.
What if he doesn’t want to kiss me again?
What if Dad really did scare him off?
I swipe the screen tentatively and hold my breath waiting for the message to come up.
Aston: Best kiss ever! A1 xo
Is all it says and I laugh and wipe away my tears from my cheeks. At least he still cares. I hit reply.
Me: Sorry about Dad, I’m so embarrassed! A2 xxxx
I hit send.
Aston: Don’t be, he was just angry. He’s scary when he’s angry. A1 xo
I laugh and nod. I hit reply.
Me: He’s not scary just a big grumpy old fart. Harmless really. R u still here? xxxx
I hit send.
Aston: No, just left. Ur dad said that they better take me home before I corrupt u or something. Mum said that Colt was being a dick and he got all huffy. So sorry, if he’s even angrier at u now. I told Mum to let it go, and ur mum was really good about it, but yeah we left so it would stop the arguing. Dad just gave me a high five lol A1 xo
I giggle and shake my head, of course, his dad, Johnny, would high five him. I hope his mum, Anna, is okay? I know her and Dad can butt heads sometimes when it comes to us. Anna is more… let us do what we want. Whereas Dad… is all rules, rules, rules. Maybe we just need to learn for ourselves once and a while? I hit reply.
Me: Sounds like I missed out, r u still coming over tomoz? xxxx
I hit send.
Aston: Yep, of course. Apparently there’s no school. We’re rehearsing all day for some reason. Not that I mind. lol I’ll be there at ten. Try and stop me :) A1 xo
I smile and wipe the last of the wetness from my cheeks and hit reply.