by K E Osborn
But all of that washes to the back of my mind when I look over and see Aston wrap his arm around Amber’s shoulders and pull her close to him. He leans in kissing her head and I open my mouth wide and furrow my brows. I know that if they are seeing each other, he is allowed to do stuff like that, but he used to do that to me. Now I have to sit here and watch him do it to a woman I can’t stand.
I don’t think so!
I stand from the table, but everyone is too busy chatting to notice. I stay motionless for a second or two just looking at Aston, and Amber turns her head and leans in kissing him on the lips. My hand rushes to my mouth and I let out a small gasp as the pain rips through my black soul.
I can’t do this.
I need to get out of here now!
I take one last look at Aston and his eyes finally find mine. I feel a spark shoot through me as I stare into his eyes and he looks lost, that glimmer that was always in them isn’t there anymore and it breaks my heart. My eyes fill with tears and he furrows his brows and frowns at me. Amber says something to him and he takes his eyes from me and the connection is gone with it. I turn around and run out of the gazebo crying, yet again, and I make my way back down to our tree. This time I really know he’s gone. He was looking right at me, I felt the spark, but his eyes showed he didn’t, and the way he looked away from me said everything I needed to know.
I feel utterly cold again when I get to the willow tree. I sit down in my usual spot and start to shake with the chill in the air. Seeing as I am only wearing a dress, it’s no wonder I’m freezing out here. My tears aren’t as hard as last time, but they still flow for the loss of someone so special to me. Even though we’ve been strangers for the last twenty-one months, it doesn’t mean I don’t miss him like crazy!
I sniff and look back toward the party to see someone walking across the grass toward me. I quickly wipe my eyes and sniff back, so they don’t know that I’ve been crying. I try to focus my eyes by blinking hard to see who it is. It’s a man, probably Dad. Then I see the shaggy hair and the leather jacket and then I feel the hairs on my arms raise and a tingle shoot through my very soul.
It’s Aston and he’s alone.
I try my hardest to stop the tears as he walks across to me. “Are you crying?” he asks as he stops in front of me.
“What’s it to you?” I say back defensively.
He throws his hands into the air and huffs in frustration. “Jesus Annie, when are you going to forgive me? I didn’t mean to take advantage of you that night, and you’ve hated me ever since. I don’t know how to fix this!” he says and I furrow my brows in confusion.
“You didn’t take advantage of me if anything I took advantage of you that night and then I freaked out.”
“Why?”
I shrug. “Because you were my best friend and I was scared Aston. I thought you lied to me about what you said.”
“So you regret what we did?” he asks folding his arms over his chest.
“No, I don’t, not for one second. But it doesn’t matter now anyway, you have another girlfriend,” I say and wipe the stray tear that’s fallen down my cheek.
“What the fuck Annie?” he yells and I jump slightly as Aston has never yelled at me before. He runs his fingers through his hair and turns away from me. “I told you I loved you. I meant it and you ignored me for nearly two years, and now you’re upset because I have a girlfriend?” he asks still with a raised voice.
“I know what I did was wrong, and it took seeing you with someone else to realise that… I love you too,” I say honestly and stand up next to him. He turns around to face me, and we’re so close I can feel the electricity pulsing between us.
He shakes his head and turns away from me, his breathing is rushed and harsh like he’s having trouble holding it together. I know, because that’s exactly how I feel right now.
“It’s too late, Annie. You practically made out like I didn’t exist and I gave up. I’m sorry, but you took too long,” he says and it’s like a knife stabs me right in the chest and then twists slowly and painfully. I can’t hold the tears in any longer as they start to fall. His back is still toward me and I can’t see his expression. He sniffs and I reach out to touch him, but as I do he walks away before I reach him.
“Aston?” I call out, he hesitates but then keeps walking away and he doesn’t turn around or look back at me.
I fall to the ground and cry into my hands, knowing I have one hundred percent, well and truly fucked this up. I spend most of the night shivering in a ball under our tree. I can hear the music and laughter coming from the party, but I don’t care about that. I just hope everyone is having fun without me. I somehow find the will power to stand up. I feel a little groggy from all the emotion tonight and the two glasses of champagne and no food. So I stumble slightly, but steady myself and start the walk back to the party. I know I look like shit, but I don’t care. I get to the back of the gazebo and sneak into the back of the bar and steal a bottle of bourbon. I need to forget about tonight and I need to do it alone. I take my bottle and walk up the stairs to the kitchen door and open it, as I walk in Amber walks toward me and looks me up and down.
“Jesus Annie, are you okay? You look terrible?”
I scoff and keep walking, ignoring her as I make my way to my bedroom to wallow and drink myself into oblivion.
The next day I wake up with one killer headache and an upset stomach. I managed to down one-third of the bottle of bourbon before I blacked out. My memory is vague and I remember bits and pieces, but the one thing I remember the most is Aston walking away from me. Something like that is hard to forget. I’m pretty sure Mum came in at some stage last night to check on me too, but I can’t remember what I said. Actually now that I think about it, I think she took the bottle of bourbon away from me. Oh well, at least I’m legally allowed to drink now, so that’s a plus.
I slowly get up from my bed and my stomach churns violently. My mouth floods with saliva and I open my eyes wide as I bring my hand to my mouth and race to the upstairs bathroom. I get there just in time to expel the contents of my stomach, which is pretty much just alcohol. My throat burns as I heave uncontrollably into the toilet.
The door opens behind me and I feel a calming hand on my back.
“Oh Annie,” Mum says and she pulls my hair back for me while I puke my guts up.
I start to cry and Mum sits down on the floor next to me as I finally stop heaving.
“It’s okay sweetheart, let all your tears out,” she says pulling me to her. I nuzzle into her and cry into her shoulder. “I think you need to lay off the booze, Annie,” she says and I nod and sniff as I wipe away my tears.
“I know, I’m sorry, Mum,” I say and she squeezes me tighter.
“It’s okay, but you need to talk to Dr. Ludwick about you and Aston. You’ve been avoiding it the last couple of months and I think seeing him with Amber last night really upset you. Well, that’s what I could make out from the slurred words and blubbering crying from last night.”
“Was I really bad? I can’t remember,” I say and she tilts her head to the side and exhales seeming disappointed.
“Annie, I know you’re sad about Aston, but getting drunk in your bedroom is not the answer. I didn’t tell your father that I found you in the state you were in. Instead, I told him you had a stomach bug and went to bed. If he knew you drank yourself stupid again, he would be beyond angry. So don’t tell him, but Annie promise me you won’t do it again?”
“I’m sorry, Mum.”
“Now, do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I say and she frowns.
“Okay, but will you talk to Dr. Ludwick about it?”
I nod. She smiles and stands up leaning over me and flushes the toilet.
“Well, for now, I think I better get some fluid into you and some food, hey?”
“Fluid, yes, food, no,” I say and she smirks and wraps her arm around my shoulders.
It’s been two days since
Dad’s party and yesterday was spent in bed hung over and today I’m feeling the full brunt of my miserable state. Dad left this morning for a press tour with the rest of Slayed. He’s flying out to Scotland to start on their new album. I know when he gets back there’s going to be talks of Staked producing a third album and going on that tour we were supposed to do. The idea of touring or even rehearsing with Aston, now seems like a stretch for me. Maybe I will have to pull out of the band and just work at a supermarket or something.
I look up at the clock and it’s eight p.m. I’m sitting in front of the television bored out of my brain and Ella is sitting next to me painting her nails, when a flash of brilliance strikes me.
“Let’s go out,” I say and she looks at me raising an eyebrow.
“What, now?” she asks and I nod as excitement flows through me. I really want to stop wallowing and have some fun.
“Well, where do you want to go?” she asks and then blows on her wet nails.
“I don’t know to a club or something?”
“Really? Okay. What will we tell Mum?” she asks and I see a glimmer of excitement in her eyes.
“That we’re having a girl’s night at the movies or something?”
“Perfect, let’s get dressed.”
We both jump up and run upstairs to our rooms. I get dressed in a nice top and leather pants. I don’t want to look too dressy because we need to look like we’re going to the movies in our quiet little town where no one will recognise us. I rush into Ella’s room and she’s still trying on dresses.
“C’mon Ella, that one will do.”
“I was thinking the black one too,” she says and pulls it over her head. She slips into her flats and we walk downstairs and into the lounge room where Mum is now sitting eating some popcorn.
“Hey girls, I thought we could have a movie night,” she says and then looks back at us all dressed up. “But I think you’re overdressed.”
“We thought we’d have a movie night, and go and see that new slasher flick,” Ella says and Mum nods.
“Okay well, I’ll just go and get dressed and I’ll take us out—”
“Actually Mum, me and Ella just want some sister bonding time if that’s okay?”
“Yep, no worries, I’ll just sit here all on my lonesome and watch something with the dogs on my lap… no biggie,” she says and I smile.
“Thanks Mum,” Ella says as we grab our coats and head out toward the front door.
“Have fun girls, don’t be home too late. Call me if anyone recognises you and I’ll have security with you as soon as possible,” Mum calls out and we grab the car keys and race out the front door.
“I’m driving,” Ella says and I chuckle.
“Sure, means I can drink.”
“Don’t drink too much, okay?”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, Mum.”
She shakes her head as we get in the car. We head into London and after an hour and a half drive, we find a small club on the outskirts of the city. Ella parks the car and we get out and walk toward the lineup. We go to queue, but the bouncer waves at us. I look at Ella and she shrugs.
“You ladies can go through, head on up to VIP. I’ll radio ahead let them know you’re coming,” he says and we smile at each other and Ella squeals slightly. We walk into the club and it smells like alcohol and sweat. It’s gross, and it’s really loud and people are dancing like sluts all around us. We head up the stairs and the bouncer lets us in.
“Good evening Miss Slade,” he says to us both and we both smile as we walk in. Sometimes being famous does have its perks.
“Let’s get a drink,” Ella yells in my ear and I nod.
We walk up to the bar and I turn around looking out into the crowd. One person stands out. He has short black hair and is very muscular. He has lots of ink and those ear gauges and he looks just like the distraction I need right now.
I have my prey in sight and this tiger is ready to roar!
After the last three quick shots of tequila and a glass of beer, I’m feeling much calmer and more relaxed than I was at the beginning of the evening. Ella is having fun and dancing by herself when a familiar face shows up. I open my eyes wide when she squeals and wraps her arms around him. Ella looks back at me and smirks as she points off to the dance floor. I smile at her and shake my head as she walks off with Danger.
I wonder what the deal is there?
I saw them talking a lot when we were on tour, but I had no idea they still talked to each other.
Maybe it’s him she goes sneaking out to see at night?
I turn around and face the bar and order another shot of tequila. I’m feeling the buzz and I love the feeling of being out in the public without anyone recognising me. That’s why VIP sections are awesome. Even if they do recognise you because it’s VIP, they don’t harass you. Generally, I go to the shops and get bombarded by screaming girls, but in here it’s too dark and everyone is too drunk to know who I am or Ella for that matter. Which is a good thing! I feel a hand on my back and I turn to see the black-haired tattooed guy standing next to me.
“Hey gorgeous,” he yells in my ear.
“Well, hey there yourself,” I yell back to be heard over the truly terrible music.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
“If you’re lucky you can buy me two,” I reply trying to get my flirt on. He smiles and it’s cute, but he’s not Aston.
“Well, in that case, what will you have?”
“Something strong,” I reply and he nods and calls over the bartender.
“Two Double Black Johnnie’s please,” black hair says and the bartender nods and rushes off to pour our drinks.
“You don’t look like someone who can handle hard liquor,” he says looking me up and down.
“Well, I’m a girl of many talents, and that includes handling hard things,” I say and he smirks and raises an eyebrow.
“Good to know.” He pays the bartender and hands me my small glass.
“Bottoms up.” Clinking his glass with mine, we both swallow the God awful stuff. It gives me a warmth straight away and I love the tingles shooting through me. I look over to see Ella dancing with Danger and she’s laughing and smiling. I’m glad she’s happy.
Black hair turns toward me. “So how ‘bout that second drink?”
I look at him and I can sense danger. This guy could be trouble, but for some reason I ignore it because I just want to get drunk, snog him for a bit and forget all about Aston Soulding and Amber Leopard Print Pants.
“Hit me up big boy,” I say and tap the bar.
He laughs and nods. “Yes, ma’am.” He waves at the bartender again.
“So what’s your name?”
“Trent.”
I nod and smile at him. He’s short and sharp with his answer and doesn’t ask my name. I don’t really want to give it, so it suits me just fine.
The bartender brings us each another glass of liquid courage and I drink it down quickly. Trent smiles at me as he drinks his slowly looking over the top of his glass at me, raising his eyebrow. He finishes his drink and I grin at him.
“So Trent, you come here often?” I ask and he chuckles.
“Is that a pick-up line?”
I shrug. “If you want it to be.”
“I’m just happy to be here drinking with the hottest chick in the club,” he says and my cheeks flush.
“I don’t know about that.”
Leaning across he moves some hair behind my ear. “I do,” he says then leans in and kisses me softly.
There’s no spark. There’s no lust or some overpowering emotion drawing me to Trent. There’s nothing but a drunken haze and the urge to feel wanted, so I kiss him back. He tastes of stale tobacco and alcohol. Not a mixture I’m familiar with or like either, but he’s my target for the night. So kissing and dancing with him for the next couple of hours, just so I can feel like someone wants me, is the right way to go.
He pulls back. “You’re as good a kisser as you lo
ok.”
“Thanks,” I reply. I don’t want to lie to him and say he’s a good kisser too. Because let’s be honest, no one can kiss like Aston, and to me he will always be the one who makes me see stars.
“Another round?”
I nod. “Wait are you trying to get me drunk?” I joke.
He raises an eyebrow. “Maybe, is it working?” he asks with a slight laugh.
“Nope, not yet, only a slight buzz. You’ll need to keep them coming if you really want me drunk.”
“Okay, more drinks coming right up.”
An hour later and four shots of tequila, another Double Black Jonnie and a beer and I’m happily buzzing. Trent is quite a funny guy and even though he’s not the usual type I would go for, he’s still really attractive and we get along well. Plus, either I’m getting drunker and I don’t care or his kissing is getting better.
I’m dirty dancing with him and Ella and Danger walk up to us. Ella is frowning and Danger is smirking at my obviously inebriated state. I know I’m stumbling slightly and I have that energy buzz which tells me I’m no longer on the sober side of the scale. I’m laughing and swaying with Trent when Ella taps my shoulder. I turn to face her and stumble on the spot.
“Oh hey, sissy. What’s Danger doing here anyways?” I ask as he wraps his arm around her waist from behind.
“Oh, he was just in the neighbourhood. Anyway, I think you should stop drinking. I think you’ve had quite enough for now, and if you want to be sober by the time we get home then—”
“Oh whatever, I’m not nearly drunk enough. Plus, my good mate Trent here is keeping me company,” I say slurring my words.
“Annie, you need to stop drinking and come home with us,” she says and I laugh out loud.
“Nah! Thanks. I’m having a great time. I think we should stay.”
Trent moves in holding me from behind.
“Annie, c’mon! You need to go home. You’re wasted and—”
“Oh just piss off little miss goody two shoes. Go home with your dangerous boyfriend!”