by Vivian Kees
His hands. Janine looked down at them. They were large compared to hers. His fingers were long and thick. They were healing hands. They were hands that had loved her, and caressed the most intimate parts of her body. She thought back to the last time they’d made love. God, it had been delicious.
There had been nothing particularly different about it. Sex with Kyle was always fantastic. Yet, she could still remember how he had felt next to her in bed afterwards, spooning her from the back. His warmth permeated throughout her body as his arms curled around her waist until his hands settled on her belly. He’d unknowingly cradled their unborn child who at the time had been still unknown to her too.
Janine shook. “It isn’t like that, Kyle. I do feel for you.”
“Then what’s the problem?” he asked. A look of utter confusion crossed his handsome face. “I’m at a loss, here Janine.” He cast her a forlorn look.
So many things ran through her head. Too many memories and conflicting emotions filled her. She did care for Kyle, but a baby? She couldn’t begin to fathom how this would change both their lives.
He moved closer and leaned into her. His breath felt hot against her neck. “You must feel something for me?” he whispered, as one strong hand moved up to caress her cheek. “Remember that weekend at the lake?”
She did. How could she ever forget?
“We connected on a deeper level.” His hand moved to the back of her neck. This was a very sensitive spot for her, and he was well aware of that fact. Just feeling his fingers sliding across her skin and their tips delicately brushing was enough to cause her to groan. She did her best to stifle her unwanted reaction. He knew how to push her buttons, and did so in every way imaginable.
She must have looked horrid to him, sitting there in her flannels, her hair askew and her breath… Well, she just hoped it wasn’t too offensive. And then mid-thought, he did it. With one hand firmly planted firmly under her chin, he guided her to his lips.
He tasted like coffee and mint. “We shouldn’t,” she murmured. “We ended this earlier today. We’re over.”
“No.” Kyle placed one finger against her lips. “You ended it. And right now your kiss tells me that you might have second thoughts. You have feelings for me, Janine, and I for you.”
He wasn’t altogether wrong. She did feel for him. But exactly what it was she wasn’t sure. “Kyle, I’m confused. I don’t know what I think or feel anymore. I like you. I really do, but I don’t think that extends anywhere beyond friendship.”
“We were always friends,” he answered. His fingers fumbled with the top button of her pajama top. She gently pushed them away.
“This isn’t going to happen.” And when he tried to kiss her again, Janine turned her head from him. “I think you should leave, now.”
“Janine,” he started, his voice pleading. “Please don’t push me away like that.”
“I’m not pushing, Kyle.” She stood in front of him with both hands planted firm on her hips. “But I can’t go against my feelings simply to make you feel better.” She was determined to stand her ground.
“Okay.” Kyle stood and walked out of the living room and down the hall towards the front door. She followed. He turned before exiting. “I won’t force myself on you. I hope we can at least remain professional at work.” He was gone with only his scent lingering in the air to remind her that he’d been there.
****
The following morning, Kyle felt like an absolute zombie as he mulled through his workload. Surprisingly, the emergency department had been slow with just its usual minor ailments coming in such as a few broken bones, a concussion, and a laceration that he had just finished suturing on a kid who had fallen down while running. The kid would probably have a scar running through his eyebrow for life, but it would make for one heck of a story to tell his buddies. The kid was obviously proud of that, forcing his mother to smile when he announced how cool it looked with the stitches in place.
Kyle smiled at the kid and then looked to his mother who stood by the sidelines less anxious than she had been when they first came in. “He’ll be fine. It appears to have been just a little knock and it looked worse than it really was. But of course, come back and see us if you notice anything unusual with his behavior.”
She nodded, thanked him, and then they left.
So far, Janine had kept herself sparse. She only came around him when it was necessary, speaking only in professional terms.
“Ms. Rumsey needs something stronger for pain. Her migraine is getting worse,” Janine said, passing him to get to one of many debugging stations which littered the emergency department. He watched as she washed her hands, taking special care to make sure she covered all areas.
“About last night, I shouldn’t have done what I did. And I just wanted to apologize for that,” he explained. “I shouldn’t have come over.”
Drying her hands she first glanced into the mirror, fixed her hair and then her eyes moved to him. “There isn’t any need. Things happen.” She shrugged her shoulders and then moved past him, stopping momentarily to look over her left shoulder. “Don’t forget … Ms. Rumsey.”
He nodded, standing there watching her walk away. At this point in the game, and it really did seem to be some sort of weird game, he was ready to quit, to give up, and move on the best he could. His mind told him this was what was practical and sensible, but his heart however … said different.
“Dr. Van Peter.”
Kyle smiled. It was Crystal.
“There’s a lady here and well … she wants to see you. She requested you personally.”
A woman. Right off he couldn’t think of anyone. “A patient?” he asked.
Crystal nodded. “Chest pain it seems.”
He followed Crystal into one of the observation rooms. And when he went behind the curtain, he was taken aback at who lay there sitting up on the stretcher. “Mom?”
“Well, it’s about time,” said Anika Van Peter. She looked perturbed, but then a smiled crossed her face as she looked at him, her only son. She adjusted the oxygen tubing, smoothing it against her chest.
“What are you doing here? Are you okay?” For a brief moment, he was no longer Dr. Van Peter, he was just Kyle. Fear took over and then as he calmed himself, he waited for her to answer.
“It’s nothing. You know the kind of chest pain I have.” The previous year, she’d been diagnosed with angina, which was easily controlled with medication and a minor adjustment in lifestyle. She must have noticed his looked of concern which had turned into a scowl. “It’s just my angina acting up. I’m not dying, Kyle.”
He glanced up at the monitor. Her blood pressure was a little elevated.
A voice startled him from the side.
“Here’s the water you requested, Mrs. Van Peter.” Janine cast him a sidelong glance while handing his mother the small cup of ice water. “How’s the pain?”
“Much better, thank you. The spray they gave me in the ambulance helped. I feel much better.”
Kyle watched as his mother strained to read Janine’s nametag.
“Janine,” she said, slow and careful with the pronunciation. She then turned to him. “Is this … the Janine?”
Kyle put one hand to his forehead. “Mom … Janine. Janine, this is my mother.” He figured at this point a proper introduction was warranted.
****
Just seeing the dashing doctor blush was more than enough reason to hang around. Janine was amused that his mother had called her, The Janine. “Well yes, I guess that would be me.”
“So pretty,” said his mother. “Not at all what I pictured, but then again, Kyle, you were never the best at describing things.”
Janine smirked, desperately wanting to laugh. “Is there anything else I can get you?”
The woman shook her head. “No, I’m okay. Like I said the pain is much better. If I need anything I will just use this.” She motioned to the buzzer attached to the rail of the stretcher.
“I’m going to go for a minute,” interrupted Kyle. “If you will excuse me.”
“Always stressed, that one,” said his mother. “Come closer.”
Janine stepped forward.
“How far along are you?” asked Kyle’s mother. “Four months?”
Janine was stuck for words. There was no way this woman could know that just by looking at her … or could she? “Far along?” She faked innocence.
“Pregnant, dear. I’m a midwife, for almost twenty-five years now. Kyle didn’t tell you?”
“No, he hasn’t said much about his family. I know he’s an only child and that his father passed away five years ago.” Kyle had always been tight lipped when it came to his family. And Janine was not one to pry.
“Yes, five years October past. They were very close. Kyle is the very image of his father. I still remember that Christmas when Kyle was five and the doctor’s kit his father got for him…” Kyle’s mother stopped, her eyes taking a faraway look. “Anyway, enough about that. You must have more things to do than listen to me tell stories.”
Pregnant, how could this woman know just by looking at her? Midwife or not she wasn’t showing or at least she did not think she was. She nodded, hoping there wouldn’t be any more questions.
“Mrs. Van Peter, if you need me or anything at all, just call.”
“Call me Anika. After all, we’re family.”
Family…
“This weekend, I’m heading up to the lake house. I need to close it up for the winter. Why don’t you and Kyle join me? I think it would be nice for us to get to know more about one another. I’ll mention it to Kyle. It’s his weekend off.”
“I’m not sure if I can…” stammered Janine. Slowly but surely, she was sinking fast.
“Of course you can. Family comes first and always remember that. In the end it’s the most important thing in life above anything else.”
Janine nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.” Slipping from the room, she walked quickly down the corridor to the staff bathroom. She was definitely going to be sick.
****
“Your electrocardiogram came back, and there is nothing to be concerned about,” explained Kyle. His mother looked at him attentively. She smiled and then removed her oxygen.
“Then I’m free to go home?”
“Yes. I’ll call you later, and please try to rest. I know you find it hard to just sit and do nothing, but for now it’s probably best just for the rest of the day.”
She laughed. “You should take your own advice sometime. Anyway you have this weekend off…”
He nodded, arms folded across his chest.
“So I asked Janine to join us at the lake house this weekend. She has agreed.”
He was taken aback, in fact blown away that she would take the liberty to just go ahead and ask … and to assume … argh! He felt like screaming. “You did what?” he asked, the tone of his voice rising in disbelief.
“She’s family, and I want to get to know her. I think it’s about time considering…”
Kyle knew it was useless to argue. Once she had an idea in her head there was no use in trying to persuade her otherwise. For all intents and purposes he’d best let her have her way.
“Come early on Friday. I want us to make the most of the time.”
He nodded still dumbfounded by the conversation that had taken place. This was going to be some weekend.
****
“She did what? She asked you to spend a weekend at their lake house?” Crystal’s eyes bulged as she spoke. “And you haven’t told him? And how the heck did she know about it?”
“Too many questions, Crystal.” The staff lounge was empty except for the two of them. Janine reached for the coffee pot to pour a cup.
“Caffeine, it’s bad for the baby. You need to watch that.”
Janine rolled her eyes, putting the pot back in place. “And to answer the only question that matters, no, I haven’t told him yet.”
At that very moment, the door to the lounge opened. It was Kyle.
“Tell him what?” he asked, shooting her an off-putting look. A look that told her he might have heard everything or nothing at all.
“Well look at the time, my break is over.” Crystal glanced at her watch and was up from the couch scooting out the door with her head down.
“Thanks, friend,” Janine called after her.
“I’m waiting,” said Kyle.
Did he know? It was hard to tell with his poker face.
“I’m … pregnant.” There, it was out. No more secrets. She winced awaiting his reaction.
He looked to his left then to his right. His hands found his pockets and then he folded them across his chest in standard Dr. Van Peter fashion. “When … how?”
“Four months, you can do the math to get the exact date and how … I think you know the answer to that, Mr. Big Doctor.” While she was being sarcastic and trying to keep her cool, Janine couldn’t help but feel just the slightest hint of amusement at his reaction.
“How long have you known and when did you intend to tell me?” His confusion had obviously turned to disappointment.
“That doesn’t matter.”
“How can you say that? A father has rights … even if you don’t think so.”
She remained silent. She hated to admit that he was right.
“Anyway, we don’t have time to discuss the ins and outs of this right now. But this weekend we will have lots. I’m surprised you agreed to spend the weekend at the lake house.”
“I didn’t quite agree…”
“Meaning … you’re not going?”
She hesitated. “I didn’t say that.”
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, just before noon. We can go up there together.”
“Kyle…”
He put one hand up to cut her off. “Janine, don’t worry. It’ll just give us time to talk and for some reason my mother wants you around… We’ll humour her. You needn’t worry. The only thing on my mind right now is the baby, our child. The rest isn’t that important.” He left the lounge before she could say anything else.
It was done. Everything was out in the open and for the first time in weeks Janine heaved a sigh of bittersweet relief.
Chapter Three
Janine waited for Kyle on the front steps the next day. He said he’d be there at noon and sure enough, prompt as ever, there he was coming up the steps with what looked to be a coffee cup in each hand.
“Decaf for you. Too much caffeine isn’t good for the baby.” He opened his cup and took a sip before grabbing her bag.
“The baby is fine. You needn’t worry about how I take care of myself, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”
He laughed, which surprised her, his eyes lighting up flashing her a look of unabashed amusement. “I didn’t mean anything by that. Look at it as a caring gesture, one of concern. I am, after all, a doctor.”
She winced, wondering how harsh her words had sounded coming out. Either she lightened up and dumped the attitude, or it was going to make for one heck of a long weekend.
Inside Kyle’s car, she settled back in the passenger’s seat and stared ahead sampling the decaf. It wasn’t so bad. “Just how much does your mother know about you and I?” It was obvious the woman still thought they were together and her guess was that they were rather serious.
Kyle started the car and pulled out onto the road. “I might have mentioned you to her a couple times in passing. We were still together at the time so I didn’t see any harm in telling her. She asked one day if I was seeing anyone and I was truthful. You, on the other hand, I still wonder when you intended, if at all, to tell me about—”
“I would have when I was ready,” she replied, fast to cut him off. “So many things were happening, and it all spun out of control.”
“Did you think I would be angry? Shirk my duty? You know I’m not like that. So let’s just get through this weekend and take life as it comes. You don’t want me. I’ve accepted
it and moved on.”
“And your mother? She needs to know our situation and I don’t mean the baby. She guessed that much about me with one look.”
He threw back his head and chuckled, keeping both hands firm on the steering wheel. “I guess she told you she’s a midwife.”
Janine nodded.
“She’s had a knack for such things or a gift if you want to call it that all her life. It’s uncanny at times. She never mentioned it to me all the same.”
“I think she knew that you didn’t know. And maybe that’s why she was insistent that we have this weekend together.”
“My mother is an extremely smart and perceptive woman. I certainly wouldn’t put it past her. Even with her forward thinking, she’s still a traditionalist in many ways. Family is everything to her.”
Glancing out the passenger’s side window, Janine reflected on her own family and lack thereof.
Her childhood had been a nightmare, just one foster home after another and while she hadn’t suffered any sort of abuse, love had certainly been lacking. When she turned of age, she got out and there had been no looking back.
Fortunately she had excelled in school, and once accepted into the nursing program at university, she worked slinging burgers to make ends meet and to pay for things that student aid didn’t cover. But here she was … a nurse and she’d made it, coming out with not just a career but a life, one that was stable. She now had a home. That was important to her.
She’d only revealed bits and pieces of her childhood to Kyle. She kept things very vague with him, never giving up much of anything to him. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by her. She wondered why she was the way she was, often cold and standoffish. And whenever he or any man tried to get close to her, it happened. She pushed them away and game over without any thought to anyone but herself. But this time it was different and she was fast realizing it. This time there was much more involved and it scared her to death.