According to her story, two men had broken into her room and ordered her to get on the floor. Then they had taken her out to a car and kidnapped her.
When an investigator asked her what else she remembered, all she said was, “Fire.”
Her pupils were dilated, and she appeared to be in shock, so they took her to the hospital in Sulphur Springs to get checked out. At that time, investigators assumed that Erin was a victim. When they questioned her at the hospital, Erin kept mentioning that two men were out to get her and that she needed to call her friend Charlie for help. She also said she was fourteen years old.
Once the doctors determined that she was all right, Larry and Virginia picked her up to bring her to Tyler to see me. Along the way, the police who were escorting them were notified that Erin had been implicated in the murders. They had Larry and Virginia pull into a parking lot, and they arrested Erin on the spot.
I knew that the three other suspects had implicated Erin, but I didn’t know much more than that. I hoped this meeting would clear all that up.
We met in a conference room in Buck Files’s office.
“Mr. Caffey, are you sure you want to do this?” the attorney general’s representatives asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I need to know what happened.”
Lisa Tanner and her assistant laid out the evidence piece by piece. They told me how both Charlie and Charles had shot Penny and me and that later Charlie had come back and finished Penny off with a large sword, nearly decapitating her. They told me how Bubba tried to defend his family before Charles shot him in the head and neck. They told me how both men took turns stabbing Tyler in the back as he hid in his sister’s closet.
Several times during the discussion, I broke down, and they asked if I wanted to stop.
“No,” I said. “Go on. I want to know everything.”
At one point, Buck Files left the room and came back with a box of tissues for me. But as difficult as it was for me to hear the evidence against the other three, it was crushing to hear what they said about Erin.
Erin’s claim of being kidnapped didn’t hold water.
Lisa Tanner showed me Erin’s cell-phone records, which proved that she had made numerous calls to Charlie that night. She showed me interviews with classmates from Erin’s school who said they had overheard Erin and Charlie talking for almost a month about killing us. She showed me an interview with another boy Erin had dated. He claimed that even before Erin met Charlie, she had mentioned killing us.
In addition, all three of the other defendants—Charlie Wilkinson, Charles Waid, and Bobbi Johnson—claimed that the only reason they did any of this was because Erin wanted them to. According to them, Erin wasn’t just involved; she was the mastermind.
As I drove home that evening, I felt as if I were in shock. Penny had always used to call me her hero. But I didn’t feel like a hero. If I had seen this coming, if I had been able to prevent it somehow, then maybe I’d be worthy of being called a hero.
A husband and father is supposed to protect his family. I felt as if I had failed them all.
That evening, I prayed and asked God again for the grace and strength to get me through. I knew that I could make it through all of this only if I took things one day at a time. God was my refuge. Even though I didn’t understand any of what was happening to me, I still knew that He was in control. I would trust Him through the pain and wait to see what He would do.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
A few days later I received a letter from Erin. As I read it, it lifted me up and gave me hope.
Dear Daddy,
Let me start by saying Happy Father’s Day. I hope you get this before then, but I don’t need a date to tell you that you have been an awesome dad. You have done a great job, and not for one second do I think different. None of this was your fault. If anything, it was mine. I should have listened to you when you said you had a feeling about all this. You have always had a gift of knowing how someone is the first time you met.
Anyway, I love you so much. I feel like I don’t deserve your love and that I let you and Mama down. But in this family we stick together and I have always loved you, Mama, and the boys very, very much. I never wanted any of this to happen. I was just going with what he was telling me. He was feeding me all these lies. I got caught up in him, and I feel so guilty.
I’m glad that you’re here with me now. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what would have happened to me. I love you. Even though this has happened, I still feel sad, but at the same time glad that I’m free from the pressure that was being put on me.
I miss Mama and the boys! But I know where they are. I know they would be so proud of you. I am too. You’re so awesome, going to preach all over the world. I mean, not that many teenagers have dads that are there for them. But I’m so proud to be your daughter. No matter what anyone says, you have been a great dad and did a great job raising me. No matter where I go or who I’m around, I will never forget where I came from. And I dream one day of walking together in our property, hand in hand. I do believe that that will happen. Anyway, I love you, and happy Father’s Day! Keep the faith.
God’s about to show us His mercy!
Love, Erin
Tears filled my eyes as I read that letter. Hearing Erin affirm her love for Penny, the boys, and me didn’t change any of the circumstances. She still stood accused of involvement in their murders. But something inside me changed that day. I’d heard the prosecutors’ evidence, and I couldn’t answer it. I certainly couldn’t disprove it. In fact, even though I didn’t want to believe it, it all might very well be true. But I realized that day that I had to forgive Erin, and that forgiveness had to be unconditional. I couldn’t hold my forgiveness in reserve until I found out whether or not she was guilty. I couldn’t make it conditional based on her level of involvement in the murders. I had to forgive her completely and unconditionally, the same way God forgave me.
In just a few days Erin would face a judge who would decide whether or not she should stand trial as an adult. I prayed that God would work at that hearing. As I prayed, I remembered one Friday night many years before, when Erin was a baby. Penny and I were going to go out to eat with her parents. While Penny finished getting ready, I sat in a rocking chair and held Erin. As I looked at this beautiful little child, tears began to roll down my face. I thanked God for this wonderful gift He had given us.
“I love you, little one,” I said. “And no matter what happens, you will be Daddy’s little girl. I promise you that I’ll always be your daddy and I’ll always be there for you.”
Now, nearly seventeen years later, I would stand by her side and be there for her as she faced charges of capital murder.
No matter what, she would always be Daddy’s little girl.
CERTIFICATION HEARING
On June 26, the day of the hearing, I picked up Larry and Virginia, and we drove to the courthouse together. Although I hoped that the judge would allow Erin to be tried as a juvenile, her attorney had already told me that wouldn’t happen. So even though I didn’t want to believe that she’d be certified as an adult, I was somewhat prepared for that outcome.
When they brought Erin into the courtroom, I was allowed to sit by her at the defendant’s table. We hugged, but we didn’t get to talk much.
The hearing was brief and to the point.
I took the stand and asked the judge to release Erin into my custody or at least to keep her as a juvenile. After I finished, the district attorney said that Erin was a danger to herself and to society. He also explained the horrific nature of the crimes and requested that Erin be certified to stand trial as an adult. After the district attorney had finished, the judge rendered his decision. As Mr. McDowell had warned me, it appeared to be a foregone conclusion.
“This court certifies Erin Michelle Caffey to stand trial as an adult.”
It was over that quickly.
The bailiff came to take Erin away. I managed a quick embrace. “I love y
ou,” I said. “I’ll see you soon.”
We were both crying as they led her out.
I had been afraid for Erin because I thought that being certified as an adult meant that she’d be locked up with hardened criminals. As it turned out, that was not the case. Immediately after the hearing, Erin was taken to the Hopkins County Jail in Sulphur Springs and placed in protective custody. On one hand, she would not be in a cell with someone who might hurt her; on the other, she would be in solitary confinement until her trial, which was still months away.
That evening was one of the toughest I had experienced since the murders. I got in my truck and drove around for hours, hurt and bewildered. Any hope that I might have Erin back someday was slipping away. I felt so alone.
Would I ever have a family again?
Chapter 22
Sonja
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be
alone.” —GENESIS 2:I8
I HAD KNOWN Sonja Webb for more than eight years. We both worked in the home-health industry, and we had met at a luncheon marketing our respective companies’ services to local physicians. At the time, she was working for Praxair, and I was working for Hometown Medical, a small start-up company. I’d worked for Praxair before going with Hometown, and that provided the basis for our conversation.
“I used to work for Praxair,” I had told her.
“I know,” she said. “They speak very highly of you over there.”
“Yeah, I worked there for a couple of years before I branched off with these guys,” I said, nodding toward the Hometown Medical display.
Other than a little small talk, our conversation that day didn’t amount to much. Over the next eight years, I ran into her occasionally in doctors’ offices, but all we’d do is say hello and go our separate ways. Eventually, I left Hometown Medical and returned to my old job at Praxair. But even though we were coworkers, our paths didn’t cross very often. Sonja was in sales, and I was in distribution. She spent most of her time working on marketing and didn’t often work from the Greenville office. I was usually in the field, delivering and setting up equipment.
After Penny and the boys died, Sonja, along with everyone in my local office, came to the funeral, but she hadn’t been able to visit me in the hospital. She felt bad about that, particularly because everyone else in the office had made it to Tyler to visit me at least once. So shortly after I started back at Praxair, she stopped by and apologized.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to see you when you were in the hospital. But I want you to know that I was thinking about you and praying for you.”
“That’s okay,” I said. “I appreciate it.”
Again it was a passing conversation, and then we went our own ways. But after I’d been back about a month and a half, she stopped by again.
“Do you have a minute?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“I just wanted to tell you how much I admire your courage and strength and your faith in God. After all you’ve gone through, you’re still serving God and using your experience to reach out to others. Watching you has made me realize that I need to get back into church. I’ve been out of church for several years now. I used to take my boys, and we were all involved. I need to get my boys back in church.”
“Yes, you do,” I replied. “And y’all are welcome to come out to my church anytime you want to. I know it’s a little far from Wills Point, but we’d love to have you.” Then I asked her, “Is there a church close to y’all that you could get involved in?”
“Yes,” she said. “There’s a little church near us that we used to go to, but we never really felt at home there.”
“Well, you’re welcome to come out and visit my church anytime.”
It wasn’t until later that I began to wonder if Sonja would have lunch with me. Praxair was doing a lot of restructuring at the time, and she was in the office a lot more than usual, catching up on paperwork. Even though we hadn’t talked much, I’d enjoyed the few times I’d spoken with her. I didn’t have any romantic inclination. I wasn’t falling in love. But it had been so long since I’d sat and talked with Penny that I thought it would be nice to sit down and talk with a woman again. I knew that Sonja was divorced and had two sons, and I’d heard that she’d had a pretty rough time. I could talk to her more about church and ask her about her boys. It just seemed right to do that.
So when I saw Sonja a few days later, I asked, “Would you like to catch lunch sometime?”
I expected her to brush me off with “Oh, maybe one of these days.”
So I was floored when she said, “Sure! How about tomorrow?”
We went to Chili’s the next day and had a wonderful time. I don’t even remember what we talked about, just that it was such a nice, relaxed conversation. I hadn’t realized until I sat down with Sonja how much I had missed the companionship of a woman. Losing Penny had created a deep void in my life, but until that day at Chili’s, I hadn’t realized how deep.
When we got up to leave, I let her go ahead of me, and as she passed by, I caught a whiff of her perfume. That was the first time in almost twenty years that I’d noticed another woman’s perfume. I’d been married to Penny and was completely devoted to her. But that afternoon I began to wonder if God might possibly bring someone else into my life. Not to replace Penny. No one could ever do that. But someone to be by my side. A helper. A wife.
A few days after our lunch at Chili’s, Sonja invited me to her family reunion. It was going to be in Alba, and she knew that’s where I lived. I thought it would be a nice change of pace, and I had nothing else to do that Saturday. I’d have just been sitting around at my trailer. We agreed to go as friends.
I didn’t find out until later, but at the reunion many of Sonja’s relatives asked her about me. She told them that I was just a coworker, a friend she’d invited because I lived nearby. It seems that quite a few of her aunts and uncles grinned and said, “You’re going to be more than friends. You two just look too good together.”
WHIRLWIND COURTSHIP
After the reunion on June 28, our relationship took off. Sonja and I began dating and spending more time together. Everything clicked between us. I met her two sons, Blake and Tanner, and was amazed at how much they reminded me of Bubba and Tyler. Blake, seventeen, was a big boy with dark curly hair and a gentle personality, just like Bubba’s. Tanner was an adventurous nine-year-old, was very much like Tyler.
As it became clear to me that the relationship with Sonja was getting serious, I began to consider the implications of such a whirlwind courtship. One evening, I wrote in my journal,
I am trying to take it slow, but in just a short time of being around her I feel my heart giving in. She makes me feel so good, and when I look into those beautiful green eyes—and she has the most beautiful green eyes that I have ever seen—I just get lost in them. I have a battle going on between my head and my heart. My head says, “Slow down. Take your time. Don’t rush.” But my heart says, “Pull in a little closer.”
The more we talk, the more I find that we have in common. Only time will tell. I don’t know what the future holds, but I can only hope that Sonja will be a part of it. I find myself thinking about her all day. Here it is one in the morning, and I can’t sleep. It’s the first time in a long time that I haven’t been able to sleep for a good reason.
I knew there would be some raised eyebrows because I was falling in love so soon after Penny’s death. After all, I had been alone for only about four months. If I had been watching someone else fall in love so quickly after the death of a spouse, I might have questioned it too. But I also knew this wasn’t something I had sought or planned.
I remember when I was in my twenties, shortly before I met Penny, I asked my mother, “How do you know when you’ve fallen in love?”
“You’ll just know,” she said.
Not long after that, I met Penny. After just a few dates, I told my mother, “I know what you were talking about
now. Penny’s the one I want to marry.” We were married within the year.
I loved Penny with all my heart, and we had almost nineteen wonderful years together. I would never forget her or the boys. But Penny was gone now, and it was time for me to move on, to close one chapter of my life and begin a new one. Because I did not feel that in marrying Sonja I would be showing disrespect for Penny, I also did not believe that it was necessary to spend a certain amount of time as a single man before remarriage would be appropriate.
As for a quick courtship, with Sonja it was just like it was with Penny. It didn’t take long before we both knew that we were going to get married. Late in July, I wrote in my journal,
It has been a long season of weeping and mourning, but once more joy and love have come into my life. The Bible tells us in Psalm 30:5, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” My joy has returned, and now I can look forward to tomorrow and have a peace about my future.
I proposed to Sonja on August 10. I had originally planned to take her out for a romantic dinner and then give her a ring, but I decided against that. I’m not very good at picking out things like rings, and I wanted it to be something Sonja would like, so I wanted her to go with me to pick it out.
As it turned out, it was a Monday evening, and we were sitting on her couch, watching TV. Blake asked if he could go to his cousin’s house, and Tanner wanted to go outside and play. After the boys had left, we sat there together, and I just asked her.
“Would you consider marrying me?”
I didn’t have to ask twice.
We talked about dates, about when would be the best time, and at first we considered waiting another year or so, or at least until after the first anniversary of Penny’s and the boys’ deaths. But I didn’t want to spend the holidays alone. We discussed it some more and settled on October 25.
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