by Amy Lillard
He expelled a heavy breath. “I’m not going yet,” he said. “This summer. I talked to a travel agent, and he got me a good deal for June. Flights and all that.”
Travel agent? “You’re going to get on an airplane?” Of all the questions she had to ask, that one was perhaps the least important, but it was the one that jumped from her lips first. She turned to him then, searching his features for some sort of explanation as to what made him want to fly half the world away when, as far as she could see, everything she needed was right there in Wells Landing.
“That part makes me a little nervous.” He chuckled. “But I’m looking forward to it. It’s an adventure out there, Sadie. Don’t you see?”
All she could see were her dreams slipping away, her best friend not joining the church, not staying in Wells Landing, and not being a part of her life for much longer.
“You’re not coming back.”
“Oh, Sadie, don’t be like that. Of course I’m coming back. Airplanes are safe now. It’s not like what you think.”
Sadie shook her head. “I’m not worried about the plane, it’s you.” Chris wasn’t the only Amish man who wanted to see the world, who wanted to taste the pleasures that lay beyond the boundaries of their district. And all too often the people who left never came back. Luke Lambright, her sister Lorie, to name a few. But Sadie had never understood the call of the Englisch world. She was happy being Amish. She was happy right where she was. That might be simplistic or naïve, but that’s just the way she was.
Chris was leaving; she was staying. It was as simple as that.
“I haven’t told anyone else,” he said.
“You told me.”
“That’s different. I knew you would understand.”
Did she?
“You can’t tell anyone,” Chris continued. “No one. Not even Ruthie, Hannah, or Melanie. Not until I tell my parents.”
“Okay,” she agreed, albeit reluctantly. The one person she would want to talk to was gone. Her sister Lorie had left Wells Landing last year to move to Tulsa. That had been a hard time for Sadie. Their father had just passed away, and Lorie had discovered he had a tattoo that no one else had known about. That had made her search for more things. She’d uncovered a grandmother living in a nursing home in Tulsa and a whole secret life that her father had lived without anyone in Wells Landing knowing about. Even worse, Henry Kauffman hadn’t been Amish nor had his last name been Kauffman. Sadie had managed to keep all that to herself. What was one more secret?
Though she missed Lorie terribly, she knew her sister was happy now. She wasn’t having to hide her paintings, or wonder about what her life would have been like had her father not made the choice to hide her out in the Amish community, pretending to be Amish himself as he raised her Plain.
It had been three months since Lorie had left. Three long months of waiting for her visits, waiting for phone calls at the restaurant, and envying the happiness that she had found. For not only was she living out her dream getting to know her grandmother and teaching painting to the senior citizens at the Sundale Assisted Living Center, she had met the handsome Englischer Zach Calhoun. They were planning their wedding for some time this June. And now this.
June was going to be a very busy month.
“Chris, you should tell them.” She had been walking around with so many secrets inside, but this was different. It was one thing to hold her own secret from the community in order to not damage her father’s memory within the district and quite another to keep someone else’s secret from the people who loved him.
He nodded. “I know, I know. But I’m not ready to tell them yet. I don’t think they’ll handle it well.”
“What would give you such an idea?”
“Sadie, really?”
“I’m merely saying that their youngest son decides to travel off to Europe and not join the church. Why would they find any fault in that?” She wasn’t about to apologize for her sarcasm. Maybe it would shake some sense into Chris, make him see how his choices were going to affect everyone around him.
“I never said anything about not joining the church. I can go to Europe. I’m still in my rumspringa. I can travel, come back, and take baptism classes next year. Bishop Treger let Lorie take his classes.”
Sadie didn’t point out that hadn’t gone over very well, and she didn’t think the bishop would allow that to happen again considering the fact that Lorie had dropped out of the classes and moved away. Besides, if Chris really wanted to join the church he would only have to wait one more year until their bishop held classes again. Bishop Ebersol might not be thrilled with him waiting until he was twenty-four, but she doubted Chris would be the oldest Amish man ever to join. If he joined.
“And my parents have Johnny,” Chris continued. “He’s taking over the farm. He’s going to run everything. They don’t need me for that. Why should I not live my life? Do the things I want to do?”
“Can you hear yourself? How selfish you sound? Does that not bother you?”
Chris shoved his fingers through his hair, knocking his hat to the cold ground. “This isn’t about being selfish or not. It’s about an opportunity. I’ve saved my money. I’ve worked hard. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to spend that money as I want. I can’t get this out of my system any other way, Sadie.” He growled in frustration. “I thought you would understand.”
Sadie blinked back tears. This was not how this conversation was supposed to turn out. Even if it hadn’t been a marriage proposal, the last thing she wanted to do was fight with Chris.
“I’m trying to. Really, I am. But with Dat and Lorie . . .” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Chris. I know you have to do what’s right for you.” Even if it meant giving up her dreams. After all, she and Chris had been friends for so long everyone thought they would eventually get married. He hadn’t tagged her for marriage, which was common for men who hadn’t joined the church to do for young ladies who had. It was like a promise, so to speak, so when he joined the church they would be officially engaged.
Even though Chris hadn’t made that promise to her, everyone assumed that Sadie was Chris’s girl, and no one came around courtin’. And so with Chris, all her dreams of marriage were flying off to Europe.
“Will you be happy for me?”
She nodded, her throat clogged with emotion. “I am.”
“Will you wait for me?”
Of course she would. He might not love her like that, but if they were to marry, they would make a fine couple. Even though crazy love would never be a big part of it, they would make a fine pair.
“You really are coming back?” She didn’t want him to promise to return, to promise to marry her, or to promise not to turn Englisch. If something happened and he couldn’t keep that promise . . . she would be even more heartbroken than she was right now.
“Of course I am.” He took her hands into his.
Despite his arguments otherwise, she knew that once he left, he’d never return.
She could only enjoy him for the time he would remain in Wells Landing, and after that . . . ? Well, she was glad that she had her job at the restaurant and her family. If nothing else, those two things gave meaning to her life.
And that was more than some people had.
* * *
“I think it’s over this way.” Chris pointed down the long aisle of booths set up for the weekly farmers market in Pryor.
Sadie looked down the walkway of vendors, shading her eyes against the noonday sun. “Are you sure?” Row and rows of booths were set up, all looking so much alike that Sadie was quickly turned around. They had passed the stand a bit ago, but Sadie wanted to wait until it was time for them to leave before she made her purchase.
“Why do you need buffalo meat again?” Will asked.
They had all come out together, her little group of coupled-off friends: she and Chris, Will and Hannah, Mark and Ruthie.
“It’s bison meat,” Sadie corrected. “And it’
s for Cora Ann.” She shook her head. “Mamm said she could pick out some new recipes for the restaurant, and she chose something with bison meat.”
Chris laughed. “What is she doing? Reading Food and Wine magazine again?”
Sadie returned his chuckle with one of her own. “What do you mean, ‘again’? She never stopped.”
Of all her siblings, Cora Ann was the most like their father. She had a love of food and restaurant work that made Sadie a little envious. Oh, to know what you wanted out of life and to be able to get it.
Sadie loved her work at the restaurant, she really did. But not like Cora Ann did. At thirteen, her youngest sister was constantly poring over food magazines and recipes. Sadie had even caught her on the Internet checking out different recipes on the restaurant’s computer. Jah, Sadie was certain that one day Kauffman’s Family Restaurant would be in Cora Ann’s capable hands.
Mark took a couple more steps in the direction that Chris had indicated. “I think I see it.” Then he grabbed Ruthie’s hand, and together they started in the opposite direction.
Sadie whirled around. “Where are you going?”
Mark turned and walked backwards, not bothering to let go of Ruthie’s hand as they continued. “Just because you want to buy buffalo meat doesn’t mean we do.” He gave them a grin. “We’ll meet you at the van.”
“Bison meat,” she corrected once again, then turned around just in time to see Will and Hannah head off down another aisle. She didn’t even bother to ask them where they were going. It was like that these days. Since she and Chris were the only couple in their bunch who hadn’t gotten married, she felt like a third wheel, even when they were together.
That wasn’t exactly true. Lorie and Jonah had been a part of their group once upon a time, and they hadn’t gotten married. And she and Chris weren’t a couple. Just best friends, sidekicks.
“I guess it’s just me and you.” Sadie sighed. The six of them had hired a driver to come to the market so they could shop and spend time together. So much for that.
Chris smiled. “Just the way I like it.”
Last week, those words would have made her heart pound in her chest, but today they only made her sad. Her time with Chris was growing smaller each day.
Together, they made their way through the milling shoppers. The market was a great place to find fresh produce and other ingredients for the restaurant. Normally, Sadie loved coming and wandering through the stalls and stands, learning of new foods and tools. A little of anything and everything could be found at the market.
“Are you serious about Europe?” She hadn’t meant to ask the question, but it had been building inside her for days. Ever since Chris had told her about his plans.
“Jah. Of course.”
She nodded.
“You haven’t told anyone, have you?”
“No.” And she wouldn’t. Not until he broke the news to his parents.
Chris pointed up ahead. “There it is.”
Sadie recognized the sign. HEIN RANCH, it read. EXOTIC MEATS AND ANIMALS. But the man standing at the booth was not the one who had been there earlier.
This man was . . .
She stumbled as he turned to face her.
The most handsome man she had ever seen.
A Mennonite.
“Can I help you?” he asked. His voice was smooth, not too deep. Just right. In fact, everything about him was just right, from his sun-streaked blond hair to his dark brown eyes.
He wore faded blue jeans like she had seen Zach Calhoun wear, an orange and white checkered shirt, and black suspenders. Suddenly she felt more than Plain in her mourning black. Not that it mattered.
“Jah, I was here earlier talking to a guy about some bison meat.”
“That was my cousin. He was watching the booth for me. Ezra Hein,” he said with a nod.
“Sadie Kauffman. Nice to meet you,” she returned. “He gave me some quotes when we stopped by earlier. I have them here.” She reached into her bag and pulled out the piece of paper with the price per pound that the cousin had written down for her. Her hands were trembling as she handed it to Ezra.
“That’s a lot of meat,” he said.
“My family owns a restaurant in Wells Landing.”
He nodded.
Was it her or was this conversation awkward? Probably because instead of talking about meat and restaurants, she’d rather be talking about anything else with him.
He had to be the most intriguing man she had ever seen. Attractive, polite . . .
She pushed those thoughts away. He was a Mennonite, and she was Amish. He was handsome, and she was plain. What would a guy like him want with a girl like her?
“Do you get the meat locally?” she asked, trying to remember all the things Mamm had wanted her to ask.
“You could say that. We raise them ourselves, then send them to a butcher in Tulsa. He packages everything there and we pick it up when it’s ready.”
“Really?”
He smiled. “Yes. We also have ostriches and deer, if you’re interested. All of our stock is organically fed. Even the camels.”
“Camels? You don’t eat them, do you?” She tried to not make a face. But camel meat?
Ezra laughed. “No, we keep them for brush control.”
“Camels, ostriches, bison, and deer? That sounds like quite a farm.”
“It’s a ranch, really. You should come out and see it sometime.”
She would like nothing more. And suddenly Chris going to Europe didn’t seem like the end of her world. “I would like that.” She smiled. “So can you supply us with that much bison?”
He nodded. “Of course. When would you like delivery?”
She waited as he worked out the details of the order. Then she signed the papers, handed him a business card for the restaurant, and shook his hand, loving the feel of his strong grip and his warm, calloused fingers.
What was wrong with her? She must have been out in the heat too long, though it was the prettiest day in late January that she could ever remember. Seventy degrees couldn’t really be described as hot.
“Well, Sadie Kauffman. I’ll be seeing you.”
She smiled at his words. Was that promise she heard in his voice, or merely wishful thinking on her part?
“He’s flirty,” Chris commented as they turned to go. He wore a frown on his face, his brow wrinkled with disapproval.
Sadie had almost forgotten he was with her. “He’s just nice,” she said.
“If you say so.”
“I do.” As they walked back down the aisle to find their friends, Sadie looked back at the stand.
Ezra was looking after them, her business card in one hand and a smile on his face. He caught her gaze and gave her a little wave.
Sadie returned it, then faced front, trying not to count down the days until she would see Ezra again.
To the extent that the image or images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.
ZEBRA BOOKS are published by
Kensington Publishing Corp.
119 West 40th Street
New York, NY 10018
Copyright © 2016 by Amy Lillard
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.
Zebra Press and Zebra logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.
First Electronic Edition: March 2016
ISBN: 978-1-4201-3979-2
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