Susan Donovan

by Public Displays of Affection

  “Your writing.”

  He smiled a little. “Because of the nature of my work, I’ve become a very private person.”

  “So you don’t want me in your bedroom.”

  Joe’s eyes closed, and she marveled at how long and lustrous his eyelashes were against his cheek. Joe’s children would be beautiful creatures. And the next thought hit her before she could protect herself—their children would be beautiful creatures.

  “I want you in my bedroom bad, Charlotte.”

  “We have about thirty seconds until we have to leave. Go change your shirt.”

  “I’m going to have you.”

  “Yes, you are, Joe.”

  He didn’t have to say a word. They were driving along the state highway just past Main Street when the scent of honeysuckle whooshed down on them through the open roof of the Mustang. Charlotte’s little hand landed on the top of his right thigh, telling him everything he needed to know.

  She remembered, just as he did.

  She’d cried that day so long ago. He’d never been with a woman who cried during sex, and it baffled him. She assured him she wasn’t crying because she was sad or hurt, but only because it felt so good.

  That first time, she’d straddled him. He thought it would make her feel more in control and less in danger. He didn’t want to scare her or make her run. He only wanted to fuck her. He wanted to fuck her from the instant he saw her zoom by in that little car on the Beltway, red hair flying around that angelic face. It had been a primal urge. He had no choice but to follow her and get her.

  He nearly hooted with joy when that notebook flew up and out of her car. If that wasn’t a sign, he didn’t know what was.

  The surface of her skin had been satin smooth and hot from the sun. Her entire little body was covered in that creamy pale satin. She felt ethereal under his hands. Fragile and delicate. But the way she kissed him—goddamn—that was anything but delicate. She was greedy and pushy and kept making these blissful little moaning sounds as her hands ran over his body and her lips attacked his. She might have been petite, but she had a big appetite for sex.

  The second time, he took her standing up, much like the kiss they’d just shared in her driveway. In fact—feeling her ass in his hands, her legs clamped around his hips—it was like those thirteen years had never even happened. She tasted the same. She felt the same. And Joe wondered if he’d ever really existed outside her flesh and her heat and the sound of her voice.

  He glanced over at Charlotte next to him and watched her hair whip in shiny flames around her face. Today was then or yesterday was now, he didn’t know which, but he knew that he was right where he was meant to be—at this woman’s side.

  “Do you remember the third time we made love?” she asked.

  Joe laughed. Apparently, his brain was the projector and his forehead the movie screen and she’d had a front row seat for the show.

  “Hell yes, I remember.” The third time had been the best. And the most intense thing he’d ever experienced.

  Joe took her hand from his thigh and raised it to his lips. Then he put it right back where it had been, only his hand now cupped hers.

  As he looked at the profile of her face in the mellow evening light, he told himself that he would find a way to love this woman and keep her safe. It was possible. Every day he spent in Minton made him feel closer to normal. Every day he spent in her presence made him believe that anything was possible.

  “I couldn’t help myself that day, Charlotte. I wanted you so much. I just went crazy.”

  “It was a good crazy, Joe.”

  “A great crazy.”

  He’d never gone soft that day with her so long ago. As soon as he came, he was ready again. One look at her—from her smoky gray eyes to the sweet patch of honey red fuzz below her belly—and he’d felt like there would never be adequate release. She was a drug, and he couldn’t get high enough.

  So he’d eased her down on her back and spread her thighs wide, running a finger along her to be sure she was ready. He found her swollen and tender and so slippery that his finger disappeared inside her with the slightest pressure. When he removed his hand, he’d seen the blood. It wasn’t much and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, but he’d stared at his finger for a long moment before he dared look up at her face.

  What he’d seen in her expression blindsided him—naked vulnerability and pure female lust. Tears spilled down the sides of her face and into the hair fanning out beneath her in the honeysuckle. She offered him a shy smile, in spite of the tears, and whispered, “Thank you for this.”

  He’d been unable to come up with a reply.

  Her smile widened.

  “Why are you crying?” he’d asked her.

  She’d reached up and touched his face, caressing his brow and cheek. “Because you’re everything I needed.”

  And that’s when it hit him—this woman wasn’t a playful conquest. She was a gift—a rare and beautiful gift.

  He’d nearly begged her, “Tell me your name, baby. Please.”

  She’d pressed a fingertip to his lips. “Shhh.”

  He’d licked at that finger, then pressed his mouth on hers as he penetrated her. He’d cradled her in his arms, feeling the sheen of tears, sweat, and honeysuckle blossoms that seemed to cover every inch of their skin. She’d cried out into his open mouth, shuddered beneath him, and gripped him so tight he could feel every bone in her body.

  That third time, it had been like he’d reached out through the universe and touched joy. That third time, Joe had made love to the woman and she’d made love to him.

  Now, with the wind in his face and her at his side, he marveled at how young and stupid he’d been that day. He’d just stood there in the parking lot, so concerned about not showing his real feelings that he’d frozen. The big badass right out of Special Forces couldn’t bring himself to ask the woman for her name again—let alone her number, her address, her date of birth, and whether she believed in love at first sight.

  Instead, he’d grunted something unintelligible and was wondering how he was going to get out of there with his pride intact when she’d thrown herself at him, kissed him, and broken his tooth.

  She’d raced out of that parking lot so damn fast that there’d been no time for an awkward good-bye. No time for any good-bye at all. Joe had just spit out his tooth chip into the loose gravel and forced himself not to look up at the license plate.

  As he pulled into the Minton Little League parking lot and cut the engine, Joe ran his tongue over the chip in his tooth. He turned to see that she was watching him, smiling, her face radiant from the wind and sun, her hair a bit disheveled. He couldn’t remember ever seeing anything as lovely in his whole life. Something about Charlotte made him believe in happiness. In miracles.

  “You sure you’re ready for this?”

  Joe didn’t know whether she was referring to snack bar duty or love, but one answer would work for both.

  “I’m sure.”

  He held her hand as they walked toward the obnoxiously bright blue concession stand, its white aluminum shutters raised for business. Bonnie and Ned waved at them from inside as a faint aroma of hot grease wafted through the air.

  Joe leaned down and whispered in Charlotte’s ear, “I won’t be able to keep my hands off you in there.”

  She looked at him sideways. “I was about to say the same thing.”

  “Gonna be a long night,” he said with a sigh.

  Charlotte laughed. “You have no idea.”

  “Four more number fours and two number fives!”

  At that instant, Joe realized it was a good thing he’d gone into law enforcement and not fast-food management. His head was spinning.

  “You hanging in there, Joe?” Ned looked over at him with an impish grin. “Only got two hours to go.”

  “Smooth and in the groove, Ned.” He slapped four more burgers onto the open buns lined up on the wooden countertop.

  Ned laughed.
“And it pays just about as well as police work, doesn’t it?”

  Joe’s brain buzzed in alarm, but he kept his eyes on the grill and his breath steady. So Ned knew, or at least suspected. Part of him wanted to believe that Ned was an ally. Part of him remembered Roger’s warning not to lose his edge. There wasn’t room for a single mistake now, not since he’d made up his mind to bring Charlotte and her kids into his life.

  No mistakes. Ever.

  “I suppose you’d know, Ned.”

  “Yeah, well, I hear the pay scale is a little better at the federal level.”

  Joe said nothing, thankful for the string of orders now being recited in Charlotte’s melodious voice.

  “I need a number one, three number fours, and a number two without the chili!”

  “A number two without the chili is a number three, Charlotte,” Ned mumbled.

  “One three then,” she said impatiently.

  How did Ned know? What had Joe said or done to tip him off? Did it mean he had to leave Minton? Would Charlotte ever consent to go with him?

  “Your secret is safe with me,” Ned whispered over the hiss of the grill.

  “And what secret is that?”

  “Why don’t we go for a beer sometime and talk about it? Is Friday good? Nine o’clock at the Creekside—you know where that is?”

  “I’ve seen it.”

  “Good, then.” Ned slapped his shoulder. “By the way, you’re a natural at this. I’m impressed.”

  Joe took his time flipping the burgers, then turned slowly toward Ned, shooting him a look he’d perfected long ago. Ned’s eyes widened and the older man tugged at the collar of his golf shirt.

  “Now it’s your turn to impress me, Chief Preston.”

  Ned swallowed and gave him a nod. “Duly noted.”

  The next two hours passed in a blur of burgers and buns and frozen bags of French fries and it had just occurred to Joe that he was dying of thirst when there was a little tap on his shoulder. Charlotte stood behind him, holding out a bottle of water.

  It was the only touch he’d had from her since they walked in the place. So much for not being able to keep his hands off her—the only thing he’d had in his hands was frozen beef.

  “Thank you for working so hard, Joe,” she said, opening the bottle and handing it to him. “We get ninety percent of all our operating revenue from this concession stand. Did I tell you that?”

  God, she was sweet. And watching those pretty pink lips recite Little League fund-raising facts was making him hard. “You don’t say?”

  “Yes. So you are now officially a Minton Little League volunteer. Wanna serve on the board?”

  “No.” He couldn’t take his eyes off her lips.

  “You got a couple burgers about to combust back here, Joe.” Ned didn’t even try to hide the laugh in his voice.

  “Right.”

  Joe rescued the orders and Charlotte went back to her post. Moments later, he heard LoriSue’s voice at the snack bar window, chatting with the women about the Little League’s Web site or something.

  “LoriSue is lookin’ real good lately,” Ned whispered. “I always suspected that woman could suck a golf ball through thirty feet of garden hose.”

  Joe roared—laughed so loud that everyone turned to look at him. And honest to God, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed like that.

  Charlotte suddenly raced behind him, on her way to the back room for freezer pops, he overheard. Joe was feeling frisky. He was feeling happy. He handed Ned the

  spatula and ripped off his apron. “Take over for me for a minute, would you?” He didn’t give him time to say no.

  When Joe reached the back room, Charlotte was on tiptoe, leaning down into the chest freezer. Her little heart-shaped ass was displayed like a Valentine with his name on it. Joe shut the door softly and took a few silent steps toward her.

  “Hey, dumplin’.”

  She gasped and tried to straighten up, but Joe flattened a hand on her spine. “Stay right there. I like you like this.”

  He felt Charlotte shiver under his palm. He felt the cold air rush from the well of the freezer around her body. He pressed into her behind and brought both hands to cup her breasts. Her nipples were little rocks in the cold.

  “Joe…” The word was part plea and part moan.

  “I know. I’m not usually one for public displays, either, but you make me crazy.”

  She looked back over her shoulder and smiled. “I feel how hard you are,” she whispered.

  He pinched her stiff little nipples, then relaxed his hands to cradle the weight of her breasts in his palms. He pushed her up against the freezer and moved his hips into her. “I want to take you like this. I haven’t taken you like this—yet.”

  Charlotte’s smile disappeared. Her expression grew serious and hot, and her lips trembled. “Oh God.” She closed her eyes. “I want… I want…”

  “I want it, too.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not sure you understand, Joe. I’m so… well… deprived that I’m afraid once I start I won’t ever get enough.”

  “The potato chip scenario again.”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  “We’re going to get along just fine.”

  “Joe? Do you take a multivitamin with iron every day?”

  “I do.”

  “You’re going to need it.”

  “Are you on the Pill?”

  “No.”

  “Good. I want to have babies with you.” “Oh my God.”

  Joe immediately closed his eyes in horror—his DNA was speaking without his permission. The idea of bringing any more children into this situation should make him sick with fear—it’s just that Charlotte made him want so much. She made it seem possible.

  “I didn’t mean—”

  “Hey—we’ve got a line for the freezer pops out here!” Bonnie’s voice was coming closer. Obviously she was giving them ample warning that she was on her way to the back. She was a good woman.

  “Damn!” Charlotte straightened up and turned toward the doorway. Joe pressed his pelvis against the cold, reached inside for the pops, and handed them back to Charlotte without turning around. He hoped the commercial-sized freezer would be sufficient cover for his raging erection.

  “Here you go!” Charlotte’s voice sounded overly enthusiastic as she handed the pops to Bonnie, and Joe let his head hang into the frozen food and laughed. They were like teenagers. It felt so reckless. It felt so damn good.

  “All righty, kids,” Bonnie said. “You two can take off. Ned and I will close up.”

  “Thanks, Bonnie.”

  “Don’t forget your children, Charlotte. Matt’s game just ended and Hank is running around here somewhere. I’ve got her ballet bag in my car.”

  “Right.”

  “See you, Joe.” Bonnie was obviously enjoying herself. “Everything all right down there?”

  “Better than ever,” Joe answered.

  The ride home was magic. The kids reached up into the wind, laughing and shouting as their fingers played in the rush of cool night air. Charlotte leaned back on the headrest and gazed at the stars above. Joe held her hand. And it dawned on her that the Mustang was the first convertible she’d been in since that day thirteen years ago.

  The stars raced by, like time did, and it made her dizzy. She thought of holding Matt and Hank for the first time, just seconds after they were born. She thought of the feel of Kurt against her at night. The scent of honeysuckle hit her nostrils, and Charlotte recalled the way Joe had looked deep into her eyes when he took her.

  She found herself saying a silent prayer to Kurt. She hoped that God was eavesdropping and that both of them would understand.

  I will always love you, but it’s time to let you go.

  “Mama! Look!” Hank and Matt screamed in amazement as a shooting star flashed on the horizon.

  Charlotte felt a smile curl her lips.

  “Shooting stars are actually small aster
oids burning up in the earth’s atmosphere,” Joe said. “They’re not really stars at all.”

  “Coolio,” Matt said.

  “Guess how many fingers I’m holding up,” Hank said. Joe laughed. “I have no idea.”

  “I’ll give you a hint,” Matt said. “She’s holding up all the fingers on her left hand.”

  “That would be four fingers then” was Joe’s answer. Charlotte turned around in time to see her children stare at each other in shock, their mouths open, then start to howl with laughter.

  Joe pulled into Charlotte’s drive instead of his own, which made her smile, and the kids tumbled from the backseat and raced for the door. Charlotte had barely gotten out of the car when Hoover bounded toward them, barking like a hound from hell. His nose immediately went to Joe’s crotch.

  “Your dog needs obedience classes, Charlotte.”

  “I took him. He flunked.”

  Then Joe had his arms around her, and she felt herself melt against him with a sigh. What would life be like if she could end every day in this man’s arms? Hoover shoved his big head between their knees.

  “It’s damn hard to be alone with you,” Joe said, chuckling.

  “I know. I’m popular.” Charlotte pulled away from his embrace. “Anyway, you smell like a giant number five with cheese.”

  Joe grinned down upon her and planted a sweet kiss full on her lips. “How about I take a shower and come back over?”

  This was the part that was going to be the most difficult, but Charlotte knew she had to get it over with. Yes, she was falling for Joe, and yes, she’d decided to give in to her unbearable need for him. And no, she wasn’t a damn bit ashamed of herself for doing either.

  But she wouldn’t do anything that would harm her children.

  “Joe? I don’t feel comfortable having you in my… well, my bedroom. Because of the kids. It’s just—”

  “I understand.”

  Sometimes she thought Joe was too good to be true. This was one of those times. He looked down at her with affection even though she’d just put the kibosh on his plans. How could a man be so carried away by passion one moment and so patient the next? What made a man like Joe tick?

  She looked forward to spending a long time finding out.