by Bethany-Kris
Violet wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but his posture softened and that calm mask fell away. He was in no better shape than her, and that left her lost.
Because she was okay to panic.
Kaz would stay calm.
She could rage.
He wouldn’t.
This wasn’t right at all.
“I’m sorry,” Violet said.
“God, for what?” Kaz asked.
“I don’t know. Assuming, I guess.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
Violet wrapped an arm around her middle, feeling like she just needed to hold herself together in a different way or she was going to fall apart all over the fucking floor. “But you do blame me for something.”
Kaz shook his head, letting out a hard breath. “Don’t do that, either.”
“Well, you said it.”
“You’re looking into something that’s not there—seeing it all wrong.”
“You said it!”
Kaz crossed the space between them in a flash, grabbing her waist with one hand, her jaw with the other, and pulling her close. With no warning, he closed that little bit of distance too, kissing her hard and fast, letting her find that familiar heat of his and how it soothed her like nothing else.
Violet sucked in a ragged breath when Kaz finally pulled away, rested his forehead to hers, and stroked her cheek with his thumb.
“I don’t blame you for this mess,” he said again, his tone much softer than she’d heard him speak before.
And maybe she knew it then …
What Vera had meant on the doorstep.
It was … like that for them.
“I blame you for being you,” Kaz murmured. “And who you are made it so easy for me to love you. And I blame you entirely for that.”
Violet felt a sliver of wetness escape from the corner of her eye, but Kaz quickly swiped it away with the next stroke of his thumb.
“You shouldn’t cry when someone tells you they love you,” he said.
“Should you cry if you’re just figuring out that you love them, too?”
Kaz smiled. “I don’t know. I’ve never been here before.”
“Yeah, me either.”
She still wasn’t sure if it was going to end well for them.
And that colored everything that should have been beautiful a little black.
Violet fingered the soft detailing on the silver comforter as Kaz paced the length of the spare bedroom.
“What are we doing?” she asked.
“I’m thinking,” he replied. “You’re …”
“What?”
“Helping.”
Violet scoffed. “By sitting here?”
Kaz’s pacing stopped abruptly. “Yes.”
“That doesn’t seem very helpful of me, Kaz.”
“You don’t seem to understand the importance of your presence. That, or you undervalue it a lot more than you should. And I partly blame that on your father because clearly he has it stuck in your head that your only use is to be pleasing and to his standards.”
Violet didn’t deny what he said.
It was true.
It just took her a while to see it, too.
“It might help if, instead of telling me why I am this way—something I already know, thanks—you could try explaining why I help you by just being here.”
Kaz’s icy gaze melted a bit. “I said that wrong, no?”
Violet shrugged. “Maybe just the wrong way.”
Instantly, he moved toward her, dropping down into a crouch, his hands finding her bare knees. After yet another snapping match between him and Vera, his sister had pointed out that she had a spare bedroom—if they wanted to use it—but that they needed to figure something else out and soon. Violet, wanting to get back into her safe place for at least a little while, had stripped out of her clothes and snagged Kaz’s shirt when he had jumped into the shower.
“You help me,” he started to say, “because even if you distract me a great deal of the time, that also means I’m focusing on only you. And right now, that’s where I need to focus. On you, Violet.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it?”
“If it’s what you want, then whatever.”
She didn’t have to pretend to understand him to love him. It just … was.
Kaz chuckled, and then leaned forward, resting his head on her lap. She trailed her fingers through his hair, taking that silent moment as there didn’t seem to be nearly enough of them.
“You’re one of my earliest memories,” Kaz said.
Violet’s fingers stilled. “What?”
“That day in the graveyard when you were four and I was ten. I have other memories of being younger than that, but that one day is so clear for me, above all the rest. I couldn’t see a thing, not good enough for it to be worth mentioning, anyway.”
“And what?”
“There’s no fuzziness around it. I remember things surrounding that day, and even going to the graveyard. But nothing was quite as clear and as bright as you. Everything was hiding from me in a way, because I couldn’t see it. I saw the sun that day, Violet, and it was you.”
Violet let her fingers start to wander and thread through his hair again. “I didn’t know you looked at it like that.”
Kaz laughed. “You jumped off the bench and told me we would do this again. I think I’ve been waiting for that day to come for a long time.”
“I was … precocious. Or that’s what everyone says.”
“You were—are—something else,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to her thigh.
Violet shivered when his lips touched down to her skin again … higher the second time, and then higher again the third time. Her hands slid down from his hair to his shoulders as he kissed a path over her thigh, and then her hip. His fingers worked at the two buttons she had done up at the middle of the dress shirt before he was pushing the clothing off her shoulders and kissing a slow trail from her navel to the lace covering her breasts.
Kaz’s hands cupped her neck and jaw, and his mouth came to a stop at the hollow of her throat. She felt his breath stutter against her skin, like he was chewing on what he wanted to say, but not sure he wanted to say it.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” he finally whispered.
Violet blinked away the wetness in her gaze, letting her fingers stroke his bare back, feeling his muscles jump under her touch. “Does it matter right now?”
“I want to tell you that I have it figured out—that it’ll be better tomorrow. I want to do that for you right now.”
“Kaz—”
His fingers pressed into her skin, rough but sweet, quieting her.
“I don’t want to lie to you,” Kaz said.
Violet hugged him. “So, don’t. Tell me something that’s not a lie. Something that’s true.”
Kaz kissed her collarbone, making a tremor race down her spine. His mark there had long gone away and faded, as had the other one on the other side. But she swore she could still see it every time she looked at it, and when she touched the spot, it was like every nerve was attached to that one part of her skin for a brief moment.
“Something true?” he asked.
Violet slid her hands from his back under his jaw, tilting his head up so she could see his eyes. Love stared back, and that was enough for her. “Yeah.”
“I would rather show you what you already know, Violet.”
She tipped her head down just enough to capture his mouth with hers. The soft, steady sweep of his lips, and the stroke of his tongue against the seam of her lips had her deepening the kiss. She wanted more of him then—more of him to taste, and to feel.
All of him.
Kaz never broke the kiss as he lifted enough from the floor to push Violet back to the silky comforter. He was already shoving his undone pants down along with his boxer-briefs a second before he met her on the bed. She widened her legs under his urging hands, hooking them around his waist.
When he finally tore his mouth away from hers, she only had one quick moment to take in a breath, and then he was there …
Violet felt his hand between their bodies, and his cock sliding against her slit. She wasn’t surprised that he was already hard. How could she when she was already gasping for air and wet from just the need to have him, and nothing more?
With one sharp flex of his hips, Kaz took Violet deep. The immediate rush of relief washed through her, and sent her head tipping back to the bed, exposing her neck to his mouth again. His groan buried into her skin, right along with the imprints of his teeth as her first cry came out broken and loud.
God, she ached for this man.
“Kaz …”
He grabbed onto her waist, and lifted up from her just enough that he could catch her kiss again. His tongue struck against hers hard, but it was the only roughness between them.
Their fucking had always been hard and fast. No matter where or when it had happened, it usually left her sated and tender, but still demanding more.
And this wasn’t the same at all.
But it still killed her just the same.
Slow, long thrusts that filled her, and took her higher with each one. His fingers raking down her skin while she traced the lines of his face and watched him from up above. The only sounds registering to her ears were the slap of skin, his shuddering exhales, and her whispers.
Violet tightened her legs around his waist, needing Kaz closer than what he was, if it were possible. She wanted to stay like that for a moment, chasing bliss, and watching him love her.
All that blackness she had seen coloring their world began to bleed away. Her fingernails dug into his back, raking lines over his skin.
“Love you,” he breathed.
She felt his lips tremble against hers with the words.
The tears fell, and he caught them.
“Love you,” Violet told him.
She was pretty sure she had never said anything more honest in her life.
And she probably wouldn’t ever find anything more true to say than those words to him.
Another slow stroke of his body into hers, and she was flying high, and crashing down at the same fucking time. It hit her when she wasn’t expecting it to, and that made it so damn good.
Good enough that she shook, and colors burst behind her clenched lids when she shut her eyes and her back bowed off the bed. Kaz’s mouth came down on hers, hiding the cry that crawled its way out of her throat. He pushed harder into her once, and on the second thrust, she felt him shudder as he came, her name muffled against her lips.
“Love you,” he repeated.
Violet let more tears fall.
She knew he did.
But they were still a little lost.
And that blackness was seeping back in.
Kaz couldn’t sleep, not when Violet had finally relaxed enough to go under tucked into his side, or the three hours he had lain there awake after, struggling to find peace in his thoughts.
They were out of time.
He knew that the moment she called him, nearly too afraid to put into words that Vasily had given her father more than enough ammunition to send him gunning down for Kaz. But he wasn’t concerned with what Alberto had planned for him, but rather his plans for Violet.
He didn’t doubt that her father was going to punish her for being with him. And considering the way the man treated her when she was in his good graces, he couldn’t imagine how he was going to react now.
As he knew, Vasily didn’t make idle threats. When he gave a warning, it was up to the person to understand that that would be the only one they got.
Hubris. Kaz had thought he would be able to maintain the relationship, as well as keeping it a secret from both their families. Even as careful as they had been, they still weren’t careful enough, and now … they were out of time.
Lost in his thoughts, he gently stroked Violet’s hair, finding peace within the movements. How many times had he done this very action, but took it for granted?
She, every part of her, was worth committing to memory, so in his darkest hours, he could have something that brought him calm.
After some time, however, Kaz must have fallen asleep as the next thing he knew, Vera was swinging the door open, startling them both awake as the wood hit the wall.
“You need to get dressed and leave. Now. I just got a call from a friend, letting me know he’s seen some of the Gallucci family in cars heading my way.”
This wasn’t very surprising. Even if Vera didn’t agree with the life they were brought up in, she still learned quite a few things, and one of those was having friends everywhere.
Kaz was on his feet in seconds, grabbing the clothes he’d worn the day before off the floor, and pulled them on. “Where’s—”
“Here. Have her put these on,” Vera said, shoving Violet’s clothes in his arms before turning on her heel and hurrying back down the hallway.
Violet was already sitting up, the sheet clutched to her chest as she turned terrified eyes on him. He didn’t know who of the Gallucci family would be showing up, ready to cause mayhem if it meant dragging her away from him, but he knew that whoever did show up, it wasn’t going to be good for either of them.
But even as the situation was dire, Kaz forced a smile for her. “Don’t worry about it. No one is going to die today.”
At least not where she could see …
“Let’s go.”
She was out of the bed, pulling on her own clothes as he grabbed his wallet and his gun, leaving his cell phone for last. There were a couple dozen messages, most from Ruslan asking what the fuck was going on, but as he was running low on time—and he was sure Vera had explained all or some of what was going on—he left them unanswered.
He grabbed hold of her hand, leading the way down the stairs, but as he was passing the windows, he paused at what he saw outside of them. There were cars already waiting, one blocking the driveway. The tinted windows hid the passengers, but if Kaz had to guess, there were at least two in each car, and if that was the case, they were outnumbered by at least six.
“Shit.”
Kaz’s gaze shot to Violet, recognizing the terror in her eyes as she stared down at the fleet of cars. They were an ominous sight, a reminder of their reality.
“It’s fine,” he said drawing her to the side, forcing her to face him and not what awaited them. “I’ve got it under control.”
“How do you want to handle this, Kaz?” Vera asked from her position at the base of the stairs, her arms folded across her chest.
She didn’t look the slightest bit afraid that her house was practically surrounded by the very same men she was brought up to fear. But while Vera minded the lines, she didn’t cower when she walked the streets of Brooklyn—if there was one thing she’d inherited from their father, it was her bravado.
“I haven’t thought that far,” Kaz responded as he and Violet walked down the last few steps. “But she’s—” He pointed to Violet, “—staying in here.”
“Then I’ll go with you,” Vera said, already reaching to pull the door open.
“No. You can stay in here with Violet. And call Rus.”
Kaz didn’t know where Vasily was, or whether he was planning a surprise visit, too, but he didn’t want to know. After all, he was the only one that could have possibly told the Italians where to find them—which was saying a lot, considering he usually went out of his way to keep their business away from Vera’s doorstep.
“I should be with you,” Violet argued. “They won’t shoot me to get to you.”
“Right now,” Kaz said. “I don’t know what they’re capable of. I’m not putting you at risk for—”
“This isn’t up for discussion, Kaz.”
Though he was tempted to argue this point with her, he just didn’t have the time. The last thing he needed was one of Violet’s overzealous relatives to step out of line and hurt Vera while trying to get to him—his r
eaction would probably have him apologizing to Violet later—but Vera had a mind of her own, and more, she could handle herself if the need arose.
Shifting his attention to Violet, he placed a hand at the small of her back, giving her a slight push away from the front door, and ordered, “Stay inside.”
“Kaz, they’re opening the doors …” Vera said, turning the lock, her hand on the knob.
“Be careful,” Violet whispered against his lips, finally drawing away though her hand lingered at his side, like she was afraid to let go.
Pressing his lips to her forehead, he stayed there for a long moment, wishing that he could take that look of fear from her face. The last thing she should be was afraid when with him.
The moment his back was to her, Vera looked to him, conveying everything he needed to know with one look. She opened the door for him, staying slightly hidden behind it, and as he crossed that threshold, he was careful not to look back. He hoped Vera would keep Violet safe and inside the damn house.
Most of the men that stood next to the cars, Kaz didn’t recognize, but as his gaze shifted over every man in turn, he paused at the car parked farthest to the south. One door opened slowly and out stepped Carmine. Unlike the last time they were in the same vicinity, today he looked rather smug as he casually strolled forward as though he had every right to.
There was no fear in him, not this time.
Kaz wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that.
Either Carmine had something up his sleeve, something that made him unafraid, or the man was a fool.
“I’ve come to collect what belongs to my father,” Carmine said, his tone never wavering.
Kaz sneered, tipping his head to the side just a bit. “First off, there’s nothing here that belongs to Alberto.”
“We both know that isn’t true.”
“True as the fucking blood I bleed.”
Violet wasn’t a possession to own, and her father wasn’t her master. Besides that, over his fucking dead body was he going to hand Violet over to someone who claimed to be there to collect her like she was property.
“Give that a few minutes,” Carmine said, chuckling. “And we might get to see that blood, scum.”