“That’s ridiculous,” I demand. “I don’t have any feelings for
Kerri.”
And why the hell didn’t Justice ever explain this to me?
Because he likes being vague and obscure about the details in his life. And above all, he likes messing with you, I answer my own question.
“Well if Justice saw what I’m seeing, and I think he did, there is the root of your whole problem. He probably thought you were cheating on him or something,” Jayden says offhandedly.
“I never cheated on Justice,” I snap. “Hey, tell him that.”
I stare at the image, not able to see what Jayden is seeing, and still trying to figure out what Justice saw. I study the mirror’s surface intensely, until something dawns on me.
“Adultery aside,” I grimace. “Do you think its possible Justice saw me absorbing Kerri’s feelings? Maybe I took on his aura?”
“If that’s even possible,” Jayden gives me boggled look. “You make my head hurt sometimes, Liv.”
“Why isn’t it possible? I absorb energy, why not auras? If I can take on emotions as my own, why not the aura that goes along with them?”
I remember brushing Kerri’s hand, and getting a shot of his feelings straight into me, they were still very strong and unaltered. And for one short second I questioned if they were my own.
“I’m not saying it can’t happen, it’s just out of my scope of
experience.”
Whether or not it’s out of Jayden’s scope of experience, I know it’s the truth. Justice and I are estranged over a magical misunderstanding. What Justice saw was a body of lies. And now I have an explanation to set the record straight. The ambiguity of it all makes my head spin. We wasted so much time. I refuse let this information taint us another second.
I pull my hand away from the mirror and all the images instantly evaporate.
“There’s a twist,” Jayden comments.
“It’s me, do you expect anything less?” I sigh sardonically. “Honestly, no.”
He brushes off his arms and starts for the door. “My work here is done,” he smiles brazenly.
“Thanks, by the way.” I tell him.
“For you, anything,” he says with a glint in his eye. “Are you off to the festival?” I ask.
“Of course,” he pulls on his collar like Rico Suave. “It’s my first time in Devonshire, and I’m going to take full advantage,” he wiggles his eyebrows, then continues to blabber, but I put my hand up in protest. I can’t be subjected to anymore. “I know, I know, ladies love Cool J,” I repeat the mantra I’ve heard so many times.
He beams. “You know it all too well.”
I roll my eyes. “You know, there’s a rapper out there who’s pissed you stole his stage name.”
Jayden scoffs. “Please, I’m seventy years old. It was mine first,” he says haughtily, then walks out, shutting the door behind him.
I shake my head.
You’re right, Cool J, I do know all too well. You’re shameless.
White Hot World
I rummage through my suitcase looking for it. I know it’s here, I saw Jocelyn pack it.
I throw half of my wardrobe on the floor until I find it; the shirt dress I have been saving for just the right time. It still has the tags on it. It’s a creamy white color, with tuxedo pleats running all the way down the front. It’s light and airy and phenomenally sexy. Too bad Jocelyn’s Valentino pumps are destroyed, they would have gone perfectly.
I’m pulling out all the stops; buttons undone, sleeves pushed back and a hem line to stop him dead in his tracks. I’m going to confront Justice with the information I uncovered, and I want to look as tempting as possible when I do. He always used to tell me how much he loved it when I wore his button down shirts. I know, say it, total cliché, but there is something about wearing a man’s shirt that makes you feel super sexy. This may not be one of his shirts, but it is damn close. I blow out my espresso hair and smoke out my eyes with a dark, shimmery shadow. It’s the perfect complement to the ivory colored fabric. I slip on a pair of strappy heels and adjust my necklace in the mirror.
I search for, and find, the courage and ferocity I need in my amethyst eyes. Facing him isn’t going to be easy, especially since Justice doesn’t usually listen to anyone but himself, but I’m determined not to let our relationship go to the wayside.
I refuse to let him become my unhappy ending.
I rush to the door, swinging it open, when I encounter a surprise.
“Justice?”
“Hey,” he says with one of his hands up in the air about to knock. “Going somewhere?”
He eyes me covetously from head to toe, taking undeniable notice of my outfit.
“To find you.”
“I thought I told you to stay here.” He folds his arms. “Haven’t you learned, this place makes me defiant?”
“I’ve learned life makes you defiant,” he feigns annoyance. “What happened with damage control?” I inquire.
He scowls. “It’s been regulated.” “What does that mean?”
“It means you shouldn’t leave this room alone if you want to live.”
“That bad?”
He gives me a covert look.
“Even worse than you can imagine.” Oh shit.
“Jocelyn says the portal is swarming with Darklings and I can’t leave. Nikkee’s wedding is in two days and there’s no sign of the Seminal flower blooming anytime soon,” I unleash, a bit
panicked. “How am I supposed to get home in time?”
He shrugs. “Ruby slippers?” “You think this is funny?” I snap.
“I’m just trying to make some light of the situation,” he says defensively. “I know how important Nikkee’s wedding is to you. We’ll figure something out.”
“We wouldn’t need to figure anything out if you didn’t put me in this situation to begin with,” I fume.
“Me? What are you blaming me for? It wasn’t my bright idea to bring you here.”
What am I blaming him for? Let me think.
Maybe for being a coward, and running away from our problems instead of confronting them. Or for not having any trust in me, or in the stability of our relationship.
But I don’t say a word, so who’s the coward now? Instead I erupt. “Everything! I blame you for everything.”
It’s such a spineless answer. I swear we’re perfect for each other.
He looks at me, almost hurt, but there’s something else in his eyes. An acceptance? An admittance? I can’t quite tell.
“Forget it, I’m outta here,” he announces, fed up. “I’m in no mood to fight.”
“We don’t have to fight!”
There are so many emotions circling around me, I feel trapped; the stress of missing Nikkee’s wedding, his obstinate
unwillingness, the ludicrous information I just uncovered, and the constant threat of evil wanting to swallow me whole. I suddenly crack.
“I…” I try to find the words I know I want to say, but for some reason I just can’t seem to spit them out.
He waits impatiently, deciphering that I’m trying to articulate something.
“Liv?”
What the hell is wrong with me? Say something you fool! “Stay?” I ask.
More like beg.
He groans. “I think I’ve done enough damage here.” “We can fix it,” I say heartening.
He smiles; a wily, melancholy smile that sparks some hope in me.
“I’m not sure we can,” he says simply, then turns to walk away. And I am just going to let him.
I feel like I’m shrinking in the doorway. Something’s come over me, the fire and determination I had just five minutes ago has suddenly become as elusive as smoke. Stop him! Stop him! A voice screams in my head. And just before he is out of arm’s reach I grab him. I think it’s the only time I’ve ever caught him off guard- sans blowing up the Spirit Stalker- and when our skin collides that’s all it takes.
Every pent up
emotion we have kept inside shoots out, sparking an inferno. All the secrets and all the lies come rushing to the surface. Anger, insecurity, sadness, guilt, longing, lust and fear rage between us like a conflagration. We are suddenly white hot, then we combust.
In a blink, our bodies crush together, our hands wildly all over each other and our lips compressed into one, we bump and crash in the doorway, staggering into the room. We get twisted in the clothes that are scattered all over the floor and I lose my shoes somewhere in a pile. We stumble over a piece of furniture and ultimately, I end up pinned against a wall.
It’s like neither of us have any control.
The fervor is hot, and dirty, and wet, and in just a few moments my hair is sticking to my face from the tacky perspiration. I can barely breathe as my body screams for him.
There’s a rip.
Then my shirtdress falls listlessly to the ground. The room is so quiet, so still, for that one split second, I can hear the fabric pound onto the floor. I look up into Justice’s hooded, hankering eyes and know our relationship is finally making the transition we both want; out of adolescence and into adulthood.
He leans down to kiss me and I am expecting another hot, forceful embrace, but something’s changed; it’s different, he’s different. The manic, body screaming craze from just seconds
ago is now a warm, tender delight.
The sensation reaches down into the depths of my insides, accessing the secluded part of me that only Justice can touch. The part reserved only for him. The part where his body and his soul are imprinted wholly to mine.
I am stripped. There is nothing left to hide; this is me, all of me, bare, pure, and unchaste.
Justice pulls away, staring down at me as I stand in nothing more than a pair of sexy little things. His body is pressed flush against mine, and for the first time, in a long time, I feel secure, I feel protected, I feel undamaged.
He runs his hands slowly along my body, skimming his fingertips up my arms and along my chest, wavering over the swirly pendant hanging from my neck. I know what he’s thinking, I’m thinking it too. But right now, I don’t care. All that matters is he is touching me. Justice continues gradually down my torso, stopping right at the line of my underwear; torturing me. My heart hammers in my chest and a knot instantly tightens in my stomach. The anticipation of his touch is maddening. He slips one finger mischievously under the elastic of my white lacy lingerie; scorching me with a devious, wanton look.
The mix of emotion and desire gyrating within me brings forth buried reminders of how he can make me find myself and lose myself all at the same time.
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” he says tentatively, with me
trapped under his gaze.
“I won’t,” I assure him in a whisper, pulling his mouth eagerly to mine. I am positive the only heat that’s going to affect me is the friction from our hard up, oversexed bodies.
Justice lays me down on the lavish bed, his eyes locked to mine. Apprehensively, he brushes my cheekbone with the tip of his thumb, the stroke leaving a trail of hot embers in its wake. I tug at his face insufferably, unable to be apart from him a second longer; aching for his hands, his lips, his body to entangle with mine.
With several brushes of my tongue, I free him from his reservations, sparking him to become just as bare and pure and unchaste as me.
***
I wake up in a mess of hair, twisted in gold sheets. I lay silent on Justice’s chest for a few blissful moments, reveling in my happiness. I secretly wish that we can stay like this forever. Just simply together.
I glance up to see him resting against the headboard, perfectly still. His eyes closed, almost as if he is sleeping. I carefully sit up and lean in close to his angelic face to inspect him further. He looks so serene and calm. Then his eyes pop open, and with a warm, blatant, carefree smile he says… “Hi.”
“Hi,” I respond back, in my own happy, warm way.
“So now you know everything,” he says candidly. I nod my head, “Now I know everything.”
He rubs his hand under my neck, the sheets barely holding onto his waist.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask, slightly irritated.
“I just couldn’t.” He shrugs, “Everything came crashing down around me when I saw you with him. Your aura was glowing so brightly, the way it does when you’re with me. All the confidence and assurance I had about our relationship suddenly vanished, and I just didn’t know how to handle it.” He glances between me and the wall of windows as he continues. “Then the other night at Solstice you were so defiant and mad. At me.” He looks into my eyes. “It’s like I didn’t even recognize you. Any inkling of hope I had for a reconciliation died. I was convinced we were ruined.”
“So instead of confronting me about everything, you thought the best course of action was just to bail?” My voice is definitely agitated.
All the feelings of hurt and pain and abandonment I’ve been battling suddenly surge within me. Disturbing the contented, gratified pleasure I’d been reveling in just moments ago. “What possessed you to think that was a good idea?” I snap.
He shrugs piteously. “I don’t know, I just reacted.”
“That’s a pathetic excuse,” I call him out, fighting the urge to pound on his chest to relieve my hostility.
He stares at me with wide, woeful eyes.
“What can I say? I only look perfect.”
The tension inside me immediately cracks, and I let out a huge sigh, somewhere between empathy and aggravation. How can I fault him for being flawed?
“My insecurities got the best of me,” he goes on. “I thought I wasn’t enough, that I’d never be enough,” Justice says self- doubtingly. “He could touch you in all the ways you want, all the ways you deserve. And he could give you all the things I can’t.”
“Like what?” I question.
“Like time, and a future, and solidarity.”
“You give me solidarity,” I say sympathetically. “And I don’t care about the future right now, all I care about is being with you.”
“That’s all I care about too,” he says affectionately.
“Then you can’t go all renegade in our relationship. Your actions affect us both,” I stress. “And I can’t keep…” I struggle for the words. “I can’t keep losing you, it hurts too much.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry,” he gently grabs both my wrists. “I’ll try harder.”
My emotions twist as his stare overwhelms me.
“You are the only thing on this earth that thrills me, scares me and makes me question myself all at the same time, and I swear I will never let you go again.”
My lips uncontrollably part as his communicative energy
burns a hole right through me. He’s trying to send a message.
“Then don’t act like you’re the only one in this relationship,” I try to regain some semblance of control and send a message of my own.
“I won’t,” Justice says forthrightly. “I just don’t want to be the one costing you anything. You only live once.”
Our bodies go stiff as we both feel the phenomenal weight of his words. Time will always be the weighted blade hanging over our heads. And right now, it’s an issue I don’t want to dwell on.
I scramble to change the subject.
“It worries me that you question yourself.”
On the outside, Justice is a stoic pillar of strength, and sometimes I overlook the fact that through all his perfection, he still has doubts and fears and insecurities just like the rest of us.
He smiles freely. “It’s not a bad thing. It gives me some much needed perspective.”
I nod warmly, and interpret what he’s saying; he needs me just as much as I need him.
“Thanks for clarifying the whole aura thing for me by the way,” I say sarcastically.
“What are you talking about?” his brows crease.
“Jayden explained that you can see and read my aura,” I answer him anno
yed.
“I never said I couldn’t see it,” he says with mock innocence. “I just never went into personal detail about the extent of my
abilities when it came to them. How do you think we decipher between true love and tainted love?”
“So you knew how I felt about you from day one?”
He nods; guilty. But I know he’s not remorseful about it one bit.
“You still should have told me.”
“Where would be the fun in that? I can’t tell you all my little secrets.” He grins mischievously, pulling at the nape of my neck to draw me into a kiss. A warm, hot, body-tingling kiss.
“Do you know why I love you, Liv?” He asks so innocently. I shake my head.
“Because you make me remember I’m more than just half alive,” he says earnestly. “More than just an immortal instrument spat down from the stars.”
Immortal instrument?
“Well if I make you remember you’re alive, you are, without doubt, the one who gave me life,” I publicize sincerely, our mouths only a few inches apart. “I had nothing before I met you. I was nothing before I met you.” I run the tip of my index finger down his bare chest, slightly self-conscious from my admission. “In this life, the next life, and any other life after that, it’s you, it will always be you.”
I have a bout of déjà vu after I say this, but it is Justice’s expression that takes me more by surprise. His eyes flutter, and
for a short second it seems as if his thoughts are off somewhere, far away from me.
“What? What did I say?” I question. He stares pointedly at me.
“What is it?” I urge again.
“Nothing,” he shakes his head nonsensically and then smiles; one of his happy, satisfied smiles. “I just love hearing you say that.” Then he kisses me; a warm, blissful kiss that feeds the flame now constantly kindling just below our skin’s surface.
Gravitational Pull (Vis Vires, book 2) (Vis Vires trilogy) Page 16