by Roxy Sloane
"You taste so fucking good," he whispers in my ear after he finishes. "I like that almost as much as I like fucking you."
"I like it too," I purr, still in the afterglow of orgasm.
"Tonight was amazing. When you begged me to come on you and licked me clean like that, I almost lost it again. That was the hottest thing I've ever fucking seen." He nuzzles my neck and nips at it with his teeth. "You don't know what you do to me, Nicole. It's like I can't control myself around you. And that’s why I need to know you’re mine."
The feeling is mutual. I can’t control myself around him.
He looks me in the eyes, demanding an answer. I can’t be his until I know the truth, but I can’t tell him that either. I meet his look and even though I feel so uncertain, I pour all my desire into my gaze.
I think he sees my lust, and it must be enough to satisfy his need, because he finishes washing me and turns off the shower.
I can't let this go on. This last fuck has to be enough. Hopefully I've got him out of my system now. As soon as I have a chance, I'm out of here.
As I towel myself off,Xavier gets a call.
He goes out to the pool area, and I gather up my clothes. Once I'm dressed, I wait for him to have his back to me and I sneak out.
I have to back off. Once Xavier realizes I might know who he really is, I'll be in danger. My life might actually depend on me leaving him alone, staying as far away from him as I possibly can. So that's what I'll do.
Chapter Eight
The next day, my body feels like it's been completely drained of energy. I'm pretty useless except for holding down the couch, so it's a good thing I'm off work. My thoughts play on repeat as my brain turns everything I know over and over. Barton’s words, Xavier’s words, things I’ve seen. It’s like a movie running through my brain.
It’s hard to imagine that Barton would lie to me and lead me astray. He is a DEA agent. But I still feel like I’m missing a piece of the puzzle. Something doesn’t add up with all this, and it’s not just Eli. It’s Xavier, too. He can’t be the guy. I couldn’t fall for the bad guy, could I?
Hailey's working a double, so I'm left to fend for myself food-wise. Nothing ready to eat in the fridge means that I order pizza. Then I park in front of the television and watch Netflix all day, trying to ignore my buzzing phone. I know it’s Xavier, but I won’t let myself answer.
I don’t know what to think. If I help Barton, I betray Xavier, and if he’s innocent, our relationship will be over before it’s even begun. But if Xavier is really guilty, I need to know. Helping Barton would get me the answers I need about Eli and Xavier. If I know for sure, I can either puts my fears or my feelings aside and move forward.
Both Xavier and Barton keep ringing me up nonstop, like they're desperate for a booty call. In Xavier's case, that's probably true. I can’t deal with it, so finally I just turn my phone off and turn on a detective show, giving my mind a different puzzle to work out.
By the afternoon, I'm tired of pizza and tired of being cooped up in the house, so I head to the grocery store. As I'm getting out of my car, I get that feeling of being watched again. I don't see a white Civic anywhere, and I definitely don't see anyone suspicious, so I try to shake it off and make my way inside.
The cashier eyes my purchases, all of which are completely unhealthy, and gives me a smile. I'm a little embarrassed, so I tell her I just broke up with someone. She nods and says, "Say no more." Then my stomach clenches up as I realize that my fictional break-up might actually be real. I might never see Xavier again.
I'm just about to exit the store when Barton appears and pulls me into the area that holds the shopping carts. His grip on my arm is tight, and I wince, knowing I'll have bruises later.
"Why haven't you called me back, Miss Scott?"
"Let go of me," I say in a harsh but low voice. "I'm going to have even more bruises thanks to you."
"I've been trying to reach you all day. I need to know what you're going to do."
"I don't know, okay? I don't want to be involved in this at all."
"Don't want to be involved or don't want to ruin things with your boyfriend? I know you went over there last night."
I give him a dirty look. "I don't know what to think anymore. It's hard to know who to trust when both sides have people following you." I glare at him. "Look, do you know for sure it's Xavier? Are his people the ones following me? Or is it the cops?"
Barton studies me for a moment before responding, and his tone is a little less gruff when he does. "He seems the likely person, but we can't confirm it yet. That's why I need you. He trusts you, and you can get answers."
His confidence in me is misplaced; I’ve been trying to get answers from Xavier myself but after all this time I’ve still gotten nowhere. "Look, I'm in way over my head here. I want the bad guy caught as much as anyone, more so because of my brother, but—"
"You have to do this." He leans in like he's going to grab me again, then thinks better of it. "You're the only one he trusts enough."
I shake my head. "It's too much. I saw what happened to Eli, and I can't let that happen to me." I move away before he can grab me again. I’ve made my decision. "I'm done, Agent Barton. Find someone else."
He won't follow me out immediately in case someone's watching, so I walk as quickly as I can back to my car. But once I get in, I lock the doors. The way he grabbed me hurt, and I don’t like the way he’s pushing me, stalking me, refusing to give me space. I look all around the parking lot, trying to see if anyone is watching me. I drive home obsessively checking my mirror, but I don't notice anyone following. If they are, they're doing a very good job of hiding in plain sight.
#
I’m putting my groceries away when my cell phone rings in my bedroom. I run to catch it. When I hear the voice on the other end, it's all I can do to keep from breaking down into tears.
"Mom. You don't know how great it is to hear your voice."
"Is everything okay, sweetie? You don't sound good."
"I'm fine. Just ran in the door. I was at the grocery store."
"You're eating something other than junk food, right?"
I look down at the items I've unpacked and feel a pang of guilt. "I'm eating okay, I promise."
"Good. I thought about sending some things packed in dry ice, but your dad convinced me not to. I worry about you being out there and not taking care of yourself. You're probably working too much also. I know how you get, Nikki."
"Really, Mom, I'm fine. What's going on with you and Dad? I want to hear news from home."
I finish putting away my groceries while I listen to her talk about Dad's latest doctor's visit and how her garden is producing a lot of vegetables this year already. Normal people things.
She asks me a few questions about Hailey and work, then says, "Have you seen Ava since you got to Miami? She was so sweet to come out here for Eli's services and was such a big help to me."
"Yeah. I went to see her a couple weeks ago."
"Your dad and I talked about coming out there to see you and maybe take Ava out to dinner. I'd like to know more about Eli's life down there." She pauses. "But to be honest, I don't know that your dad could take it. He still flinches any time I bring up Eli."
The sadness in my mom's voice and the mention of my dad's reaction feel like little knives stabbing me in the heart. What was I thinking leaving them and coming down here? Not to mention putting myself at risk like I have. They've lost so much already. If they lost me too, it would kill them.
"Hey Mom, what would you say if I told you I'd been thinking about coming back home?"
She’s silent for a moment. "You have? But I thought you liked it there, sweetie."
"I do, I just…I don't think Miami's for me. Plus, I really miss you and Dad."
"Well, of course we'd love for you to be here, but only if it makes you happy, Nikki. Your dad and I want you to live your life, not be stuck here because of us."
"I know, I just fee
l like with everything that's happened, maybe I need to stay close to home for a while."
We talk for a few more minutes, and then Mom says she needs to get dinner started. When I hang up the phone, I realize that I'm not alone in the room. I whirl around, but it's only Hailey. I hadn't realized she was home.
"Hey, Nikki. Talking to your mom?"
"Yeah." My heart is still pounding. "You scared me half to death! I thought you were working a double today."
"Mark needed the hours this week for a bill he has coming up, so I offered to switch with him and work one of his shifts next pay period instead."
"I'm really glad you're here. I could use the company." I plop down on the couch, and Hailey sits next to me in a much more graceful manner.
"Are you really thinking about going home?"
I sigh and nod. "I don't know what else to do, Hailey. Everything is so complicated, and I'm starting to get really freaked out."
"I don’t get it. What happened?"
I weigh how much to tell her. I don't want to pull her in any more than I already have. So I keep it simple.
"Whatever Eli was into, it wasn't good. It looks like he really was involved with some bad people. I felt pretty threatened after talking to the investigators."
"Wow. You think they're in on it, covering something up?"
"I don't know what else to think. They strongly suggested I let it go and accept that my brother wasn't a good guy." I take her hand and give it a squeeze. "You were right, Hailey. The whole thing was a bad idea. I should have just let my brother rest in peace and moved on."
She gives me a reassuring smile. "You did what you thought you needed to do. But if you're feeling threatened, you definitely need to stop looking into this. Don't put yourself in danger, Nikki."
I nod, even though I feel like it’s too late. I’m a target now. Maybe going home is the only thing I can do to stay safe. "Thanks for being there for me. I don't know what I'd have done without you these past couple of months."
Hailey frowns. "I'm going to be sad if you head home, but I guess I understand it."
She leans over and gives me a big hug. I relax into it, surprised by how relieved I feel all of a sudden. Maybe because the only human contact I've had lately has been Barton's rough hands that left bruises and Xavier's touch that leaves me shaken and confused and wanting more.
"So if you're going to move back home soon, that leaves me very little time to show you Miami's good side, free from mystery and investigations and all that."
I laugh. "Does that actually exist? I'm starting to wonder."
Hailey smiles. "Kayla invited us out again tonight. You up for a party? Maybe it’ll help take your mind off things."
"As long as it's not on a yacht, I'm in."
Chapter Nine
Dressing up and getting out of the house turns out to be exactly what I didn't know I needed. Just the act of getting ready makes me feel better, calms me. I've been wanting a reason to wear a sheer, red blouse I bought last week, and it seems like the perfect night, humid and warm. I slip on a short black skirt and a black camisole to make the red really pop. Red lipstick and heels to match, and I'm ready to have a little fun.
The party is at a hotel bar, right on the water. The view is spectacular, and I know I'm going to want to walk along the water later. It's hosted by some public relations firm trying to get people excited about a big summer blockbuster that's become notorious for all the problems on set. I’m happy to take advantage of the festivities.
We run into Kayla at the bar, and she insists on buying us shots. The three of us down one right at the bar, and Kayla gets extras to take back to the table. The tequila goes down smooth, and I feel its warmth relaxing me.
She leads me and Hailey over to where Myka and Sasha sit with some other girls I recognize from the yacht. Everyone is laughing at some story Myka's telling. Kayla passes around the shots, and says, "A toast to friends old and new!" We hold up our glasses and then down the tequila.
"Hey Nikki, hope you're feeling better from the other night," Sasha says with concern on her face. "We were a bit worried."
"Thanks." I give her a smile. "I am. I guess the combination of too much sun and the movement of the water got to me."
"At least you have that hottie Xavier to take care of you." Myka winks at me. "That man knows how to live."
"Yeah, he does," I say with a sigh.
"Everything okay, Nikki?" Kayla puts her hand on my arm. "Things good with Xavier?"
"Um…" I'm not sure how to answer the question. "It didn't work out like I'd hoped."
"Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that.” Her face clouds over for a moment, but then she brightens. “But you know what? This is Miami. There are plenty of hot guys. You're only as lonely as you want to be, right?" She laughs the unfiltered laughter of someone who's had more than just two shots. "Anyone up for dancing?"
I'm not, but Hailey grabs my arm and drags me out of my seat. I guess I'm not getting out of it that easily. We head in a group over to the dance floor. It doesn't take long for guys to approach. When a techno remix of a popular hip hop song comes on, everyone goes crazy.
A tall, thin guy with blond hair asks me to dance. His shirt looks like it costs more than my rent.
"I'm Adam."
"Nikki."
We can't say much more than that because the music is deafening. I lose myself in dancing. Adam is a great partner. He's not up in my face but is keeping just close enough to let me know he's interested. I'm relaxed, feeling the effects of the tequila and wondering if Adam's a good kisser, when I realize Xavier is standing next to me. I expect him to look pissed, but he’s eerily calm. He leans in and whispers in my ear, “You can ignore my phone calls all you want, but we are going to talk about this. Now.”
“Xavier, I—”
“Should we do this in front of your friend or step away from the dance floor?”
Xavier leans back, waiting for a response. His face is a mask of calm. I stare at him long enough for Adam to give me a concerned look.
“Is everything okay?” he shouts into my ear.
I nod and swallow the lump forming in my throat. “I just need a minute. I’ll catch up with you in a bit.”
Xavier holds out his arm in a gesture for me to lead the way. When I pass him, his hand goes to the small of my back. The pressure lets me know that even though I’m deciding where we talk, he’s the one in control.
He’s never given me any indication that he’d hurt me, and I’m confident he won’t. Anxiety about what he’ll say and do starts to creep in anyway. It feels like being on a ledge. No turning back for us after this point.
"How did you even know I was here?" My pulse is racing. He has to be following me if he found me here.
"I have eyes everywhere, Nicole. My people see you out without me, and they report back."
He basically just admitted he's following me. Fear starts to creep up my spine, but I don't back down. "So I'm not allowed to go out? Because you say so?"
"I just want you to be safe. Miami can be a dangerous place." His eyes flash with intensity, but nothing in his stance is menacing.
"Is that a threat?"
"No. It's the truth.” Frustration creeps into his voice, and he paces a few steps in each direction before continuing. “You're with me, and there are certain obligations that come with that. You're mine now. You can't just be out with some random guy at a party. What if something happened to you?"
"Oh, this is priceless. I’m not yours, Xavier. I don't belong to anyone."
He runs his hand through his hair and huffs out a breath. "Dammit, Nicole. What is with the hot and cold treatment? One minute you're fucking my brains out, and the next, you're gone. I’ve wanted you from the start and I’ve been very clear about that. But I don’t understand what you want, because it’s always something different. I'm not the one playing games here."
"I'm not playing games either, and I'm tired of the ones you're already playing. Just
leave me the fuck alone, Xavier." I question my choice of conversation spots. My back is to the corner, and he stands in between me and the party.
"I'm not kidding, Nicole. I told you before, I don't put up with bullshit. That's why I don't date all these wannabes and models. You and I don't belong here. You need to come with me."
I'm starting to get apprehensive. Would he really hurt me, though? I can’t even imagine it. He’s just used to getting what he wants. I don’t care how hot he is, I’m over the possessive thing right now.
"Don't tell me what to do, Xavier. I'm not yours. I'm done with you." I move to push past him, expecting him to grab me. He doesn’t, but his next words have the same effect.
"Don't you walk away from me, Nicole."
I turn around, not wanting to back down. As much as I don’t want to do this, I know I have to. I can’t be around him until I know.
"I said, I'm done. Leave me the fuck alone."
We stand less than a foot apart, eyes locked on each other. Neither one of us is backing down. Finally I break eye contact.
"This conversation isn't over." He moves around me and then walks off into the crowd.
#
My body starts to tremble as soon as he's not looking at me, and I hold onto a chair for support. Suddenly the crowd seems oppressive, all my enjoyment of the party gone. I feel panic rising up in me, and the need to get away is overwhelming. I plow through the crowd and stumble into the hotel. The cool air hits me, and I realize I'm safe. Nothing's going to happen in this opulent lobby.
I head to the bathroom to get myself together and hide out for a bit. Unfortunately, Kayla had the same idea. She's surprised to see me.
"I thought you were dancing with that hottie. What happened?"
"Xavier showed up."
"Uh oh. Was he playing Mr. Jealous? That doesn't sound good." She dabs at her top with a towel. I’m not sure what she's doing, but then I realize she reeks of alcohol.