by S. Ann Cole
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Krissy grin back at him. I needed to get to know this girl, to determine if the feelings between her and Jahleel were mutual. I also had to figure out my level of competition, and at the same time, pump Krissy for information to use to my advantage.
With that thought, I looped my hand through hers like a bloody pre-teen and dragged her off in the other direction of the room.
She froze up, seemingly surprised by my gesture, but I pretended not to notice.
Jahleel started dancing, and I knew I should be looking at Krissy instead of him when I asked her, “You two close, yeah?”, but I couldn’t pull my eyes away from a dancing Jahleel. The fluidity, the sexiness…Jesus…
“Yep. We live together.”
Live together? That sure as hell got me to snap my gaze to her. “I thought you said—”
She cut me off by holding a hand up and smiling, her plump lips as red as raspberries made her smile a dazzling white. I hated how pretty and exotic she was. “We’re, um…His parents adopted me when I was young.”
“Oh.” For the second time that day, I felt a relief so strong, even my joints relaxed. “So you’re brother and sister. Why didn’t he just say that?”
With a slight wince, she placed a hand on my shoulder and warned, “Word of advice: if you don’t wanna get on his wrong side, don’t refer to us as brother and sister.”
What? “Why?”
All she offered was a shrug.
Well, that’s not weird at all, I thought sardonically. Unless the love I saw in his eyes earlier wasn’t love for a sister. He must want her to be more to him. But judging how casual she was about him, the feeling was most certainly unilateral. To her, he was just her brother. Maybe to him, she was his fantasy.
Sucking in my cheeks, lost in thought, I decided then and there to find a way to get him to transfer that love over to me. Make me his fantasy.
I had work to do.
I turned my attention back to Jahleel who was glistening with sweat as he danced with undiluted passion, as if nothing else in the world mattered but how well he moved to the beat of the music.
His well-defined abs contracted and released with every move, his bottom lip captured between his teeth. The way he moved his hips, those feet, the way rivulets of sweat trailed along the wicked tattoo covering his whole left side from armpit to hipbone, the way the big bold ‘KINGSTON’ across his upper back rippled with each flex of his arms… He is lethal. My attraction to him is definitely fatal. And I wanted him so bad it pained to even look at him.
I chatted some more with Krissy until the song ended and Jahleel made his way over. He halted in front of us and nabbed his T-shirt from Krissy, wiping the sweat from his face. Looking at me, he winked—fucking winked—as he said, “Why don’t you go find out what your friends think of that performance?”
I. Wanted. To. Scream.
Glowering up at him, I clenched and unclenched my fists, and before I let my mouth say something I’d regret, I flounced off.
Thomas pushed open the door for me as I got up to it, and right before I went through, I cast a quick glance over my shoulder and my eyes unexpectedly locked with Jahleel’s. He, too, was looking over his shoulder, straight at me, his beanie off and one hand raking through his hair, looking as exhausted and defeated as I felt.
His golden gaze left mine as his eyes made a swift sweep down my body, before snapping back to my face with unconcealed frustration. With a slight shake of his head, he turned back to Krissy.
Resigned to the failure of the day, I proceeded out the door and out of the building. As soon as I was back in the vehicle with Amanda and Ferbie, I dipped in my back pocket for my cigarettes, only to find the damn box empty.
Mad at the whole frigging world, I punched the headrest in front of me. Amanda pursed her lips and sagely kept her mouth shut as I punched the headrest again and again.
“Aye, Ma,” Ferbie strived to calm me by reaching over Amanda to rest a warm palm on my knee.
The loving innocence in his eyes was enough to soothe me. I loved my brother so much that sometimes I wish there was something, anything I could do to make him normal.
Just as Ben began backing the vehicle out of the lot, Jahleel walked out of the studio shirtless, his white tee tossed around his neck. He had one arm around Krissy’s shoulders as he talked animatedly to her.
His mouth stopped moving when he spotted Amy and Jamie getting ready to leave behind us. By then, Ben spun the Jeep around and started crawling off the complex with two other vehicles ahead of us. I quickly twisted around in my seat to look out the back window at what was happening.
Jahleel said something to Krissy, then jogged over to Amy and Jamie’s convertible—who I suspected were dawdling in the lot because they saw him exit the building. He leaned on Jamie’s side of the car and twirled a lock of her auburn hair around his finger, whispering something in her ear. And the bitch giggled like a fucking moppet. I wanted to kill her.
Our vehicle pulled farther and farther away as we drove off the complex. We turned onto the main road, and I could no longer see them.
“Should I dare ask why you’re doing this to yourself, mate?” Amanda asked. “Take this however you want, Kia, but this, it’s sad. And pathetic.”
I ignored her words. “Text her. Ask her what he wanted.”
“Are you a bloody masochist?”
“Just fucking ask her!” I snapped.
“Sod off! I’m not your fucking bitch, Kia!” Amanda snapped back. “You want me to ask her, ask me kindly, dammit!”
Remembering she was a leader and not a follower, a domme and not a sub, a best friend and not an assistant, I turned and flung my arms around her, hugging her tight. “I apologize. I love you. No, you’re not my bitch. You’re my only friend and I love you. And even when people choose me over you, like what happened with Chad, you don’t get jealous and go talking crap behind my back. No, you love me anyways, because that’s what friends do, yeah? You’re genuine, authentic and I won’t ever take you for granted. I love you. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
Amanda seemed taken aback, both by the sudden hug attack and the long-winded apology. I never talk this much and she knew it, so she understood I was being real.
“It’s okay, Kia. I love you, too. Apology accepted,” she said, hugging me back.
Pulling away, I asked politely, “Now, can you please ask Jamie what JK wanted?”
With a roll of her eyes, Amanda pulled out her cellphone and sent the text message. Seconds later, the phone chirped and she showed me the screen:
Wut d hell do u think he wanted?
Psshh.
Am fucking him 2nite if that answers ur question :)
He’s HOT!!
With 3 smoking Ts!!
“Slut,” I mumbled as I shoved the phone back at Amanda.
“Maybe you should tell her,” she suggested. “I’m sure she wouldn’t shag him if she knew you liked him. They’re bad but not that bad, Kia. You need to give them a little more credit. They’ve been by your side since you came here, and that spells loyalty.”
“No. I don’t like them enough to trust them. Let her have her time with him. JK’s mine, he just doesn’t know it yet. He’s my destiny.”
“God,” she laughed as she shook her head, “I’ve never known the meaning of obsession until now.”
Amanda’s phone chirped again. She read it and showed me the screen.
Oh, he also asked 4 Ferbie’s #.
(Only God knows Y he’d want 2make frenz with that dumbo.)
DON’T tell Kia I said that! *giggles*
I told him Kia’s very protective of him so he gave me his card 2give him.
But we’re going 2 Pizza Hut with him & his sis now, (sweet!) so we’ll catch up with u guys later.
x
Amanda laughed, “Don’t hate me for saying this, but I think it’s the weirdest thing that the only person he made a connection with in the room is Ferbie. That�
�s something epic right there.”
Though I usually would, I didn’t take offense to it, because for the first time in my life, I was jealous of my brother. When I’d gone outside for my long smoke break after Chad’s visit, apparently Jahleel and Ferbie had ‘bonded’ through dancing. I was still trying to wrap my head around it. “It seems Ferbie’s better at taking instructions than I am. I didn’t even know the sod could dance.”
Ferbie, hearing his name, pulled his gaze away from the window and remarked, “Aye. JK’s real cool, no? I’m thinking about taking some lessons. What do you think, Ma?”
“I think it’s great,” I told him. “I’m glad you’ve found something you like.”
He smiled contentedly and looked back out the window.
Amanda’s fingers drummed across her knee and I knew she wanted to say something but was biting her tongue.
“Manda, what is it?”
She gave me a hesitant look before she queried, “Why not Chad instead of JK? I mean, yeah, JK’s like a million times hotter than Chad, but he’s a bloody wanker. Now, Chad, you can just feel sexual healing oozing out of him. I swear the room heated up when he walked in. Whew…Plus, he fancies you and he wasn’t afraid to show it. I, for one, was bowled over with the way he came on to you at full force without even an hint of uncertainty, knowing you are, well, you, and that your guards could’ve drop-kicked him in a millisecond. He just put it all out there, no beating around the bush, you know.” She sighed dreamily. “Swear it, I’ve never been so turned on in my life. If he had asked me to shag him right there in front of everyone, I would’ve done it without a thought.”
“That was more than obvious, Manda,” I agreed, laughing. “I was turned on by him, too. Jumping in ma’ knickers enough that I probably would let him shag me…if he asked politely.”
We both cackled.
“But that’s all it was. Just sexual. I was turned on by him, and that’s where it ended. With JK, it’s…different. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like…just being near him sucks away bits and pieces of me, and those bits and pieces stay in his possession. He doesn’t just make my nostrils flare. No. He makes me breathless, senseless, scatter-brained. He makes me want, he makes me need, he makes me crave, he makes me desire, dream, drenched. He dominates my mind, my emotions, every part of me…only by existing.”
Amanda watched me with a concerned expression, and I knew she didn’t understand. She never would. No one would. That’s the main reason I never talked about it, because people would just think I’m losing it. They would question why someone in my position would bother chasing after some guy who isn’t even on my level.
But I fell in love with him before I reached this level. And even reaching this level, my feelings for him waxed instead of waned.
Turning from Amanda’s concerned eyes, I looked out the window. “I do wish it wasn’t like this. I do wish there was something I could do to make this obsession go away. But…I can’t. I’ve tried and I’ve failed. Numerous times.” Sighing, I let the side of my head rest on the window. “I’m subservient to him. Bound and ensnared. Captured and captivated. Taken and held. It is what it is: Jahleel Kingston owns me, and he doesn’t even know it.”
Chapter Five
On a grunt of pure frustration, I withdrew my hand from my knickers. Not quite sure how it worked for most people, but self-induced pleasure usually sucked for me. Very rarely do I ever manage to get myself there. I’d created a dozen different scenes in my head, which would work for about a minute, then all of a sudden the scene just melted and the sensation disappeared. Fuck it.
Last time I got laid was over a year ago, not since my last break-up with Oscar holding actor Rick Reese—hot, sexy heartthrob, small dick, undue arrogance, and useless billions that couldn’t buy him another inch to his useless dick.
Of the few rich and famous I’d been set up with, none had been able to satisfy me enough to keep me. But then, I couldn’t even satisfy me. So, I guess the problem was me then, yeah? I wouldn’t be able to give anyone a chance until Jahleel Kingston gave me one.
To check the time, I glanced over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. Minutes to eight. Today wouldn’t be as flexible as yesterday was. Yesterday I had time to dally with, but today I had a radio interview at eleven, a charity event appearance at one, two hour training at Kingston’s Dance Studios, then studio time to start working on my new album.
My cellphone buzzed on the nightstand and I contemplated telling the world a big ole ‘fuck you’. Sometimes I wished I could just lock up and hide like a vampire until I felt ready for the light.
Alas, I was Saskia Day.
Reaching over for the phone on the nightstand, I checked the screen. Timberly. Oh dear.
Curious nerd that Timberly was, she and a couple of her other nerd friends took some time off from college to conduct their own modern day voyage, to see every crevice and corner of the world. That Christopher Columbus kind of thing.
I was against her going because, well, whenever she got back—if she got back without dying from some disease like malaria, or falling off a giraffe’s neck, being trampled by elephants, falling off a kayak and being eaten by piranhas, or getting captured by some extinct caveman, etcetera etcetera—then she would talk three times as much as she talked before. Which was a lot—never-ending. No joke.
“Hey, Timber.”
“Hi, Ma!” she twittered on the line, ever gleeful.
“How’s it going?”
“Great! I know I haven’t rung you in a while but it’s just that I’ve been so caught up in this experience. I just settled in with ma’ mates to nab a kip and thought I’d ring you to let you know I love you and miss you. And Ferbie. Oh, and Lydia!”
“Ah, we miss you, too, Timber. Especially Ferbie,” I told her, my heart warming. “Where in the world are you now, by the way?” I winced after asking that question, realizing it was a catalyst to a ceaseless conversation.
“Oh, Hungary. It’s awesome here, Ma. I wish you could be here with us!”
“Glad to know tha—” I started to say, but Chatty Timber’s fur had just been stroked.
“Did you know it’s one of the oldest countries in Europe?”
I didn’t get a chance to answer since her questions were usually rhetorical, as she just blabbered on, answering her own questions. “Yes, yes it is! Founded in 896 even before France and Germany were found and separated. And in around 1000 C.E, they were also the largest kingdom, bigger than France! And the language they speak is so ace, Ma! It’s called Magyar. Mag-yahr.” She pronounced, as if I were a high school student who gave a crap. “It was derived from the language spoken by the Huns. And did you know the Rubiks cube was invented by a Hungarian?”
By this time I was rubbing my forehead, feeling a headache approaching. Why did I answer the phone?
“Yes, yes it was! Invented by Erno Rubik…” —A beep sounded over her chatting and I pulled the phone from my ear to check the screen. Stacey, my assistant. Saved by the beep.—”…and did you know Hungarians also invented ballpoint pens—”
“Timber, I gotta go,” I said, cutting her off. “Work calls. Love you!”
Unable to take another syllable from her, I clicked her off and connected Stacey’s call. “Stace. Shoot.”
“Hello, Saskia. Good morning,” she answered, ever polite. “Two things, Lion T’mar asks that you phone him. He says he knows you are purposely avoiding his calls, but he’s not calling for what you think.”
I winced. True, I was avoiding Lion’s calls because he had the uncanny ability to tell when I was lying. He would know instantly that I went to see Jahleel even though he advised me not to.
“What else?”
“Jahleel Kingston’s assistant called an hour ago to apprise you that payments for his services have been refunded, as your hire has been cancelled.”
No. Not again!
“Did he say why?” I barely got the question out.
“Just that
he doesn’t think he’s suitable to assist you. He did, however, provide a list of recommendations. I will email it to you in a bit.”
I goddamn hated him for making me feel dysfunctional and incapable of sanity and completeness. “That all?”
“Yes.”
I disconnected the call. Biting hard on my lip until I drew blood, I reared back and hurled the phone across the room, and watched it bust into pieces.
I fucking hated Jahleel Kingston!
At 3:05pm, Amanda, Ferbie, Thomas and I strolled into KnockBack Recording Studios. As it was, Amy and Jamie seemed to know my schedule better than I did; Amanda informed me they were already at the studio waiting for us. With the knowledge of Jahleel shagging one of them the night before he cancelled on me, I wasn’t in the mood to see those two.
Why didn’t I just give them the boot if I hated them so much, you ask? Because I didn’t hate them, hate them. I just didn’t particularly like them. They were ace companions at times, but more often than not, they annoyed the bejesus out of me. Plus the problem might’ve just been me. Because I had issues. Issues unfathomable even to me. Let’s just leave it at that.
Why punish them for loving me?
Ferbie’s phone rang as we shuffled into the lift, and my eyebrows shot up in surprise because, well, no one really called Ferbie unless it was me, Lydia or Timberly. He had zero friends, zero associates, zero girlfriends, along with his zero senses. In spite of that, he was quite content with his life, but he was content because I was sure he didn’t know any better. Maybe I should’ve been a little bit easier on him and let him go out on his own sometimes, but I was too afraid of ending up having to murder someone for fucking with my impeded brother.
“Aye,” he answered. He listened and his grin broadened. “Ah, ah, life’s good…I’m heading to the studio with Ma…No, my sister, Kia…Now?…Why, of course!…okay then. See you.”
By the time Ferbie hung up, everyone was staring at him, gobsmacked.