by Art Farkas
Art
Hello Art, I am sorry but I cannot accurately calculate the number of pieces of toast that my toaster could produce per hour, as there are too many variables in the equation, ie., the darkness of the toast desired or the speed at which the toaster operator could pull the toast out of the toaster, and how hot their fingers can stand to be. I suggest you try to calculate this on a toaster you own, and estimate from there. Regards, Marcy
Thick-walled Custombilt Bent Pot—U.S. Pipe
Up for auction is a nice, lightly smoked bent pot sitter—a Custombilt. The nomenclature marks it as being made during the Wally Frank era (mid-70s to late 90s). This pipe is nicely carved/routed. The bowl top looks to be in very good shape and shows some really pretty grain. The walls are .5" thick (!) for a cool smoke. The vulcanite stem shows very minor teeth marks at most. The pipe is 5.75" in length, with a bowl height of almost 1.5" and a bowl width of 1.75". The pipe is in great overall shape, is light for its size, and should be a great smoker.
Hello! I come from a family of hardworking oil drillers. My grandfather, dad, and four brothers are all oil drillers. The decision to follow my dream of becoming a puppeteer and a background dancer for children’s shows has resulted in me being ostracized by 83% of my family. Let’s just say I hear such phrases as “Worked on any new fairy dances lately, Art?” and “Hey Art, why don’t you give us a private show with your lamb puppet? Ha ha!” I wish to find some common ground with my family and figured that if I start smoking they would accept me. They are all AVID smokers and seem to enjoy how nicotine (snuff?) makes them feel. I think your fine pipe could teach me how to smoke. If I do really well on the pipe, how difficult would it be to graduate to something stronger, like good old-fashioned cigarettes? How easy is it to smoke and get a buzz off your pipe? I look forward to entering the world of smoking and your pipe could be the start of a beautiful relationship! Thank you.
Art
Hi, Art. It’s hard to say about the buzz angle, because I did it in reverse—first cigarettes, and then switched to pipes. If you’re not a smoker, I imagine the pipe will give you a good initiation to nicotine. The primary difference is inhaling—most cig smokers inhale and many pipe smokers don’t. If you do inhale when smoking a pipe, you’re liable to get a stronger jolt than from cigs due to the sheer volume of smoke one good draw on the pipe would give you. All I can tell you is that, for me, not inhaling with a good pipe and a good tobacco takes care of my craving without messing with my lungs. If you want to then graduate to cigs, it’s not a hard transition. Hope my rambling helps. Good luck to your family!
Regards,
Bill
Mens Adidas Ozweeg VI Running Shoes Size 11 Like New NR
Here is a pair of ~like new~ Mens Adidas Ozweego VI running shoes, with no reserve! They were worn 1 time inside the house, they were the wrong size, but I did not have the receipt so I could not return them. They are a size 11. They are black with some white details. The tag inside reads Adidas Running Cushion. This is a great pair of athletic shoes at a very low price, they retailed for around $80.00.
Greetings! Today I watched on the television a Kenyan male win a marathon (they say it’s 26.2 miles—why make them go an extra .2?). I saw him eat a banana and a slice of cheese while running! Amazing agility! I wondered aloud if he ever trained in his native land by running with cheetahs or caribous. He inspired me with his precision and determination. My wife, Janis, constantly reminds me that I’m overweight (207 lbs.), lazy, and lack simple social skills. Starting tomorrow I am setting my alarm clock for 9:30 a.m. and am going to run like the wind. I want to lose weight like those guys on that TV show. As I’m still collecting workman’s comp for a “neck injury,” I cannot be seen by those who might report me. Therefore, I will run across my backyard lawn 793 times a day. This should equal 1.25 miles. I found your fine running shoes on eBay. Would they have decent traction on grass? If I step in doggy doo, will it simply glide off? How about snails? Thank you.
Art
Good Morning Art, I’m so happy you found my auction and yes, they have great traction. They are doggy doo and snail resistant—what doesn’t get caught in all the groves on the bottom, just slides right off, no problem. Maybe you’ll want to start out walking, so you don’t get anyone suspicious; they’re great for walking too. If you’re walking it will be much easier to eat a banana, cheese or any other snacks you might have brought with you. Well, anyway Good Luck with the weight loss. Thanks for looking at my auction. Pat
1996 Precious Moments Calendar
This 1996 wall calendar is called "Garden of Friends." This calendar is in perfect condition. Each month could be framed. There is a page that has 12 postcards still intact that could also be framed. The pictures are so colorful and cute as a button. I’ve had this calendar in my possession since 1996. I made a trip to the Precious Moments Chapel and purchased some items for my doll collection. I am getting ready to retire and won’t have the space to keep my collection. I not only collected dolls but calendars such as this because of the beautiful pictures of the Precious Moments figures.
Hello! I love calendars! They help me rise in the morning. They make me feel very frumpy and spectacular! I had a calendar (1988) of Porsches. It’s gone now, because of the goat. My Uncle Werter lays tile on Tuesdays. On Sundays I eat fried okra with mayonnaise. I attended seventy-nine band camps (triangle) in my youth. I was asked to leave because of the milk incident. NOT my fault! Starting in 1982 my mother (Edna-Marie) worked in the flute business three days a week. She made flutes from scratch. Pa loved to bowl. The calendar on the wall was OUR business. On Wednesdays Pa was home (played his harmonica till midnight). On Sundays Ma cooked her sweet potato pie. Now I collect calendars. I like ones with flowers. The ball is bouncing! I collect all types of calendars. I own over 2,300. I like the one you are selling. It looks special. Is it missing the date October 32? Has February 29 been added? I’m VERY superstitious. Is there space to add the date January 41?
Art
Hi Art: My you sound like quite a character. I THINK YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO BUY MY CALENDAR. The characters on each calendar month page would make you very happy. They are very colorful little people. The Precious Moments Dolls have very unique faces. There is a Precious Moments Chapel close to Springfield, MO, and it is spectacular. It is very heartwarming. I can’t think right off who the artist is that designed the dolls. On each calendar page there is a quote. Each one is about FRIENDSHIP. April says FRIENDSHIP WILL WEATHER THE STORM. The back of the calendar says licensed by the Precious Moments Company. To answer your questions it is NO TO ALL 3. You sound like a MESS. I hope you bid on the calendar and add it to your collection.
Sharon
Women’s GK Elite Leotard Gymnastics Dance Sz Medium
Up for auction is an Adult Women’s GK Elite Leotard Gymnastics Dance Sz Medium. The word "Twisters" with a hurricane is embroidered on the front. It measures 14 inches from side to side (unstretched), and 25 inches from shoulder to crotch (unstretched). This leotard looks brand new, and has no snags, pulls or tears. It is a black velvet leotard. We are a smoke free household!
Greetings! After 26 years of marriage my wife, Sarah, and I are still as adventurous and crazy as the day we got married on top of Mount Vesuvius in Italy. For the past five years we managed our own little country-style restaurant called Chat N’ Chew. People would come to sit and chat with friends and then chew on my world famous Hickory Slab O’ Ribs or Sarah’s huckleberry pie. Before that we traveled as the singing duo Scratch and Sniff. Our act was kind of like the Smothers Brothers, minus the mustache and harmonica. Sarah sniffed and I scratched. Anyway, our latest adventure is kind of nuts. We wish to be shot out of a cannon simultaneously. We are currently in negotiations with Bob Giambalvo IV of The Giambalvo Family Circus. Sarah and I are looking to purchase our cannon-shooting costumes here on eBay. Will your leotard rip or tatter when blasted forward by compressed air at 150–200 pounds per square inch? If Sarah misses the net, i
s there enough padding to protect her body from injury? Thank you.
Art
Art,
I think that you both sound like the greatest couple. This suit with the hurricane on the front seems like it would be perfect. I don’t know if it would fall apart after being shot out of a cannon. I think she may need a little bit more padding than that. I wish you both good luck. I wish my husband and I were as adventurous as you both are.
Keitia
Women’s Small Red Sequin Dress by Stenay New w/Tags
This Red Sequin Dress by Stenay is NEW WITH TAGS! Women’s Size Small. Knee length, V-neck and a 6 inch slit up the back. Zips up the back with a slide hook and 2 slide hooks at the top of the teardrop opening! The shell is 100% silk, fully lined 100% Polyester. GREAT dress for that Christmas Party, Christmas get together or even New Years’ Eve!
Greetings! Since my expulsion from clown school (it was planted on me), I have tried many odd jobs around town to no avail. Just yesterday after I watched the movie Congo I decided to return to my roots. Monkey Business. My parents were monkey trainers for 45 years and trained the famous bicycle riding, umbrella toting chimp BeBop. I chose my own path and failed (hence the clown school fiasco). I wish to now be known as Art Farkas the Magnificent. I will purchase one of my parents’ monkeys (most likely Jim) and dress him up in various clothes and costumes. I will train him to play the accordion, ride a small fire engine, steal people’s wallets and jump rope. We will perform on the streets together. Your auction for a lovely Red Sequin Dress looks fine and I think it would look great on Jim. Is there a zipper in the back? If so, do you think Jim could reach around and zip it himself? We will have six costumes during our act. Would Jim’s 3-inch-wide arms fit through the sleeves? Thank you.
Art
Yes, there is a zipper in the back, plus a slide hook. Then a teardrop opening and 2 more slide hooks! I do not know enough about monkeys to know if he could zip it or not! His arms should fit with no problem as the arm holes are 6 ½ inches. Thanks for asking and tons of luck with your monkey business!
Howling Wolf Tea Light Candle Holder
Chimenea-style tea light candle holder depicting a colorful picture of a howling wolf. Adorned with tassels and feathers. Representative of Native American style. Made of ceramic and measuring 11.5" tall, 5.9" diameter base, and 5.75" diameter pot. Metal stand. Holds tea lights only. Came new in box but has small white scratch on base where the opening is.
PLEASE NOTE: This is not Native American crafted.
Hello there and greetings! I belong to the NPAMW (National People Against Misunderstanding of Wolves) and while searching eBay for wolf items came upon your auction for a Howling Wolf Tea Light Candle Holder. As the organization’s secretary I am well versed in the public’s misunderstanding of this gentle and humble creature. My wife, Trudy, is currently running for the NPAMW vice-presidency against that slanderer Sid Hulme. Sid is using the “Marmalade Jelly Incident” in his campaign which is totally based on lies. Anyway, we are wondering if you had any candle holders with wolves that were not howling? We are looking to decorate our entire house with wolf memorabilia and would sure be interested if you had some non-howling wolf items. We at NPAMW have come to understand that there are more to wolves than just howling, barking, and savagely killing rabbits as some Disney movies have misled the public. They have a soft spirit when unprovoked and are very loving to their litters. Thank you.
Art
Hi—Thanks for inquiring. Unfortunately, I do not carry anything else that is wolf related. I applaud your efforts in educating the public about these magnificent creatures. I have watched many documentaries depicting the wolf as, what you have said, quite gentle creatures, family oriented and wonderful parents to their young. They just want to live in peace and harmony. I have always looked at the wolf when he howls as a majestic calling. In fact, in Native American beliefs, the wolf is one of my spirit animals. Lynn
100% Human HAIR wigs, extensions, etc. DARK BROWN
A PORTION OF ALL MY AUCTIONS GOES TO A LOCAL NO-KILL PET CHARITY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR BIDS.
O.K.—THESE THREE PACKAGES OF “HUMAN HAIR” ARE BEING SOLD “AS IS”—SINCE
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WIGS OR HAIR EXTENSIONS. They all seem to be BRAND NEW in packages. EVE Hair Imports & Wholesale—100% Human Hair. All are dark brown.
There are three “tails” of hair… length is approximately 15 inches. Each tail is secured with a gold band material.
This is Frenchrefined—“Wet & Wavy”—also by Eve.
The third just says from the FEMI collection.
Greetings! I have an idea that involves your human hair extensions. The Rotary Club is holding their first wave of interviews for membership and I wish to join. But, there is a problem. The minimum age for this particular brotherhood is 45 years of age and as of now I’m sitting at 39 years. I’ve lied on my application, stating that I’m the ripe old age of 47 and very handy with a table saw. I have always had trouble growing facial hair and figured that a mustache would add around eight years to my appearance. This probably sounds crazy but I really want to enlist with the Rotary brass (Rotarians?) and play darts with them. Could I cut strands of your human hair extensions and paste them to my upper lip, thus creating a self-made but realistic looking mustache? How easy would it be to glue to my skin? Would it make a mustache more like Tom Selleck’s or Ted Turner’s? Would my mustache made from human hair droop a bit or would it stay firm? Thank you for helping me out.
Art
Dear Art—I’m sure that you could cut and paste yourself a mustache with the hair… but I have no idea what the finished product would look like. You could try putting it on with a substance called SPIRIT GUM—available in costume shops or probably on-line. I’d like to sell the hair extensions, so naturally I’m all for YOUR idea. However, it might be easier for you to just dye your hair or put gray streaks in it and make yourself older that way. Good luck with your membership. Elaine
Pink Depression Glass: Small Rectangular Bowl, MINT!
Small pink depression glass bowl, about 7 inches (including handles) by 4½ inches, with fluted design on the sides and patterned on the bottom. Bought out of a curio cabinet at an estate sale. Not marked, manufacturer unknown.
Hello and thank you! I am what some people would call an extremely upbeat and positive person. Friends and relatives have compared me to Tony Robbins on uppers. Trouble is, I can’t help myself. I see the bright side of everything, am constantly encouraging others, and once saved a flock of geese by throwing my body in front of a runaway lawnmower. (I suffered minor cuts and bruises.) Last Thursday I read an article in Gentleman’s Quarterly (GQ) that we all need to find balance in our lives. Take the good with the bad and visa versa. While doing my daily eBay searches I found your Pink Depression Glass. If I purchase and use your depressed glass, will I really become depressed? To be honest I’m a little sick and tired of being optimistic all the time. A little depression in my life might be healthy. Will your glass ware make me feel downcast, dispirited, or melancholy? If so, I might try it. Thank you for answering my questions.
Art
No no no, Art. You don’t understand the nature of depression glass. The only thing depressed about it is the price! And this is not just depression glass, it’s PINK depression glass. What could be less depressed than pink? Sorry, we don’t think you can count on this—or the other pink depression glass pieces we have up for auction (cups and saucers)—to make you feel, as you said, “downcast, dispirited, or melancholy.” If anything, it will make you feel PINK! On the other hand, if you are again attacked by the runaway lawnmower, or even worse, by those ungrateful geese (like the AFLAC commercial), having pink depression glass around should really improve your perspective. Tangentially speaking, don’t believe everything you read in Gentleman’s Quarterly, but then again, that’s a whole other issue. If you want to feel “downcast, dispirited, AND melancholy,” we’ll be happy to write you our life stories. Thanks for finding us
in your daily eBay search today!
Best, Susan & David
P.S. Who’s Tony Robbins?
Briefcase Rolling - NEW - Ideal for Sales
This rolling Briefcase is in original box with tags still on. It can be carried like a normal briefcase, or when stood on end it has wheels and retractable handle. Combination locks. Would make a great case for a salesperson or any traveling businessperson who is tired of straining their arms, shoulders, back, etc.
Hello! My family is full of pranksters and are always trying to one up each other. As the youngest in the family, my brothers often ganged up on me. For example, after I picked up my date for the senior prom, Jasper and Ricky were hiding in the bushes and threw wet paint all over my rented tuxedo yelling “Remember the Alamo!” Also, this past Thanksgiving my father, Craig (retired shoe salesman), loosened the top of the salt shaker on the dinner table. Needless to say, I ended up with a mountain of unwanted salt on my piping hot mashed potatoes. Well, this Christmas is payback time for the old man! I will fill a briefcase with underwear and give it to Pops as his gift. It will be labeled BRIEF CASE. Get it? It is a case full of briefs (underwear). Some will be brand new and some won’t. A hodgepodge of briefs! Do you believe your fine briefcase will be able to hold 37 pieces of underwear (Jockey, FOTL)? Could I place a pair peeking out of the side pocket? Thank you.