“Yes,” I groan, my hand going into Jack’s hair. He carries me into the bedroom, where he sets me down in front of the bed. Jack unfastens my pants and starts nudging them down, while his lips nip at the skin on my neck. I sit down on the bed and kick them the rest of the way off while I undo the button on his, and pull down the zipper. This seems to turn him on, as he lets out a moan with a ragged exhale. He pushes them and his boxer briefs down to just below his ass and lays on top of me, pulling my black thong to the side. He’s in me in one swift thrust, and we hit the ground running. No pause. No starting slow. We jump right in, thrusting and rocking at a steady rhythm.
“Ah God Maze,.” he grunts into my neck, as we continue the frantic pace. I’m squeezing him so hard with my walls as he pulls my leg up around his waist, driving in deeper. He laces our fingers together and slides our hands up over my head as his hips continue to collide with mine. Jack returns his lips to mine at the same time I feel him hit that spot deep inside me, making me whimper into his mouth as he makes contact with it over and over. The pressure is building and coiling as he increases the pace, pushing me closer to the edge.
“I’m gonna come,” I say against his lips, cuing him to speed up even more until he can feel me tighten around him and hear me crying out in release. It’s so powerful, I almost can’t take it. He squeezes both my hands as he groans against my cheek, urging me through it, changing to sharp, hard, and long strokes. I swear my climax has no end in sight. He grunts and moans, slowing his movements as we come down, which seems to take forever
“Ah…baby,” he says into my neck, giving me all of his weight. I’m still panting and throbbing, my heart slamming in my chest. He lifts his head to look at me. “Good God…” he lets go of my hands and starts planting kisses on my face. He leans on one forearm, stroking my hair, while his other hand plays with the fingers on one of mine.
I gaze up in his eyes as I will my breathing to slow. I’m searching his face for any clues about how he’s feeling about me right now. The worry comes back as I wonder how long he’ll feel this way. How long before this will get old to him. He must see it, because he asks, “What’s going on?” his eyes never leaving mine.
You have to talk to him about things. I remind myself. You have to trust him. And I do.
Jack
“I’m just… so happy, Mayzie says.
“I’m happy too, baby. I’m so happy,” I whisper. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No. It’s scary though. I am so… scared,” she says on a shaky breath.
“Baby I’m scared too, but you don’t have to be. Please don’t be scared,” I say, searching her beautiful eyes, looking for some sign of relief.
“You are too?”
“Yeah. Mayzie, I don’t just love you, I’m in love with you. All the way. This isn’t some phase. You’re my world. I’m terrified of being without you, but not enough to actually be without you.” She reaches up to my face and pulls me down to kiss her. I put all the warmth, security and love I feel for her into the kiss, hoping it shows her I mean every word.
When our mouths part, I carefully pull out of her and stand, pulling my pants the rest of the way off. I help her up off the bed and pull the covers back. I hold her close to me and kiss her, thinking of nothing other than showing her that I can’t stand the thought of being without her. “Come here,” I whisper against her mouth. “Get in bed with me.” Once we’re in and I’ve pulled the covers up over us, I look into those grey eyes looking back at me, wide with questions, but also hope. “Let’s hold each other until neither one of us is scared anymore.”
“Okay,” she says quietly, resting her face against my chest. My relief is short lived when a thought enters my mind.
“Was that… what we just did, did that make you feel like maybe I don’t …?”
“No.” Her head snaps up to look at me. “Not at all Jack. That was so good, and I still felt…everything.
“I like taking my time with you, making it last as long as it can. But tonight…” I trail off, looking for the words and try again. “Is it okay that sometimes, I just want you?”
She gives me a lazy smile. “Oh yeah,” she says with playful affirmation.
“Yeah?” I ask, and she nods.
“It feels good to be wanted by you.”
I sigh into her shoulder. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
14
Jack
When she loves, she dives in deep,
She’ll tell you when you’re wrong
But she’ll still hold you when you sleep
Look into her eyes,
Whatcha think you’re gonna see?
The flash of lightning
Or the calm of the sea?
She’s the real deal,
Yet she’s the fantasy
She’ll show you her best,
But she’ll hide away the rest
Do you see her?
Because I see her
No one’s ever going to see her like I see her
Do you see her?
Because I see her
She’s gentle as a spring rain
And she likes to hide her pain
Way deep down inside her
Raging like a hurricane
She’s soft and sweet
Between the sheets
But she hides granite underneath
She thinks she’s lost
But I can see,
She is right where she needs to be…
Do you see her?...
“Damn, Jack,” says Matt as the song fades out.
The four of us are sitting around, listening to the song we just laid down on the demo. We’ve had to get together to write hooks, melody, drum beats, all that. Then we practiced and rehearsed until we got it just right. It isn’t perfect. It isn’t what you’d be able to create in a real studio, but on a demo for an unknown band… it’s something. It was ‘See Her.’
This was the first time we’d gotten to sit back and take it in, the way a prospective listener, or God willing, an agent would.
“Jack,” Josh starts. “Never has all the work we’ve put into a song been so worth it,” he says, shaking his head with what looks like a combo of awe and disbelief on his face. “It’s gold.”
“I want someone to hear it,” Chris says, tapping his drumsticks on his pant legs. He’s having one of his rare serious moments. “I mean it. We throw songs on the demo that never get heard, I want people to hear this one.”
I take in a deep shaky breath as I clasp my hands together over my knees and look down at the floor. Turning these lyrics into an actual, powerful, energizing song, was more of a rush than I expected. Of all the songs we’ve come up with before, of all the lyrics we’ve written and put to music… I’ve never felt so satisfied, so accomplished. So proud of my work. Our work. I feel shaken, straight down to my bones.
“I do, too.” I finally say. I don’t know if it will ever get heard by the world, but there is one person that definitely needs to hear it…
Mayzie
Jack knocks lightly before letting himself in. He hangs his keys on the hook by mine and sets down his guitar case before calming down an excited Penny who’s trying to maul him. I’m in the kitchen and have just set the timer on the oven. I feel like I’ve hardly seen Jack for a few days. The guys have been practicing a lot, so I figured I’d make us brownies.
“Hey,” I say, giving him a cheerful smile as he makes his way to me.
“Hey baby,” he says giving me a tired, yet sensual smile. I open my arms wide for him to hug me, and he more than obliges, wrapping me up completely and playfully nibbling my ear. Not sure if he meant for my lady bits to react to that, but they definitely did. “What is this?” he asks, when he leans back just enough to look at me. He’s looking at my mouth.
“What? Have I got something?” I ask, going to wipe my mouth.
“No. I got it,” he says, catching my hand, and leaning in to lick the corner of m
y mouth, making my ovaries want to combust for a split second. But just as quickly, I realize I probably had brownie batter on my face. He leans back and looks at me with a cocky smile, still not releasing me.
“Okay, I might’ve licked the spoon,” I say, indignantly.
“Sexy,” he says, leaning down to give me an actual kiss. “I missed you.”
“You’ve been busy,” I say, stepping away to put bowls in the sink to rinse them.
“I missed you anyway. And speaking of being busy, is your laptop running?”
“Yeah, here,” I say, turning it towards him on the island counter.
“So we just updated the demo. It’s got a new song and I want to know what you think.” He glances at me, almost nervously, as he fishes a flash drive out of his back pocket.
“Okay,” I say, excitedly. I’m so happy for him that new songs have been coming to him. He plugs the USB into my laptop and loads the music. He clicks the mousepad a couple of times and after a few seconds, we are greeted by Chris playing a hard, steady, ominous drum beat, followed by some seriously electrifying guitar chords by Josh. I can tell Jack is using the acoustic in this, strumming in time with the bass drum, while Matt’s bass guitar gives it a foundation. The music comes together and builds just enough anticipation for when Jack’s low, raspy voice comes in, passionate as ever. You can almost hear how hard he’s working his diaphragm to push the words out with such force. As always, it reaches in and grabs hold of something deep inside me, and it’s instantaneous. Once I get past that initial hit, the lyrics pull me in another direction. And then my heart stops. It stills in my chest as I hang on to the words, my mind chasing them. I listen to every single word that Jack sings, because each one that I’m able to latch on to sends a jolt to my heart.
I can’t do anything else. The words have robbed me of my ability to move, talk, or breathe. Although I try, I can’t seem to hang on to every single word, and my focus transitions from the words themselves to the feelings they’re invoking inside me. I feel like my entire body is in a vice grip while feelings of home, love, realization, clarity and elation penetrate my every pore. My bones feel like they’re humming, and on some parallel plane, the song gives me a vision; I see a beautiful darkness being pierced by thousands of shots of bursting light and it fills me with happiness, relief, and empowerment. I’m so overwhelmed by the variety of emotions; I almost can’t take it. In fact, I grab hold of the counter top to steady myself.
The song begins to fade out and I feel a twinge of something else, like one last feeling dropped in at the last second, setting me on edge. The song is about a girl, definitely. And it’s brand new. Jack wrote it after meeting me. Our relationship was uncertain for the first few weeks, and for a second, I’m terrified to learn who this song is about. I don’t want the feelings it’s given me to be wrong, because for the first time, I actually feel that I am right where I belong. That I finally know myself. Because Jack showed me…
Jack
The look on Mayzie’s face is worrying me. I’m seeing so many changes dance across it as she listens to the song that she doesn’t know she inspired. Staring at seemingly nothing but the stony grey island counter top, even after the song ends, she doesn’t move for a few seconds.
“Mayzie?” I have to prod her. “What did you think?”
She looks up and right into my eyes. Hers are shimmering like she’s about to cry. Her expression is a mixture of disbelief, amazement and something else I can’t put my finger on.
“Who-?”
“You,” I cut her off, understanding immediately what must be flying though her head. “It’s about you.”
She gestures a hand at the computer, her voice still shaky. “It’s me?” Her eyes are welling up even more.
“It’s you.” I reach out a hand to her and gently grab on to her wrist, brushing my thumb back and forth across it. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I feel like she needs an anchor.
“Oh my God,” she says.
“What’s the matter? Do you not like it?”
“No,” she says, her hand flying up to lay flat at the base of her throat. “I love it, Jack. I love it so much. You just don’t understand…” she’s shaking her head like she’s looking for the words. “I spent most of my life being what I thought other people wanted me to be, and one day, I decided I’d had enough of that and was going to be who I truly am, be myself, unapologetically. The only problem was that by then, I didn’t know who that was, and I’ve never been able to figure it out. All these years I’ve been trying to find out, and you come along and just tell me.” The tears spill out and she wipes them off her cheeks with both hands.
“It’s who you are to me,” I say, inching closer to her, leaning one arm on the counter in front of her and running my other hand down the back of her hair.
“I just feel like I don’t need to search for myself anymore. You wrote this and showed me. Because you know me. You see me.” She chuckles on an exhale. “Like the song.” She draws in a long breath and lets it out in a puff, and turns to me smiling. I know what she’s doing. She’s allowed herself to have a moment of weakness in front of me and now she’s reeling it in. She’s quickly composing herself. One day I hope she’ll no longer feel the need to hide that part of herself; that she’ll realize she can cry, scream, whatever. I’m not going anywhere. For now, I’m letting it slide because she’s disarming me with that smile of hers.
“Are you okay?” I ask as I put my hand on her hip and draw her just a little bit closer, so that I’m holding her but giving her a little space.
She drapes one arm around my neck, and puts her other hand over mine on her hip. “I am so incredibly okay,” she answers. “And that song…” she shakes her head, “…It’s unbelievable. Not just the words, all of it. That beat is so heavy, and the music is so charged.” I smile, and can’t help but lean in to press my lips to her cheek. “It’s going to move people.” She finishes.
“Yeah, if I get to play it,” I say against her temple.
“What do you mean?” She asks, tilting her head to look at me.
“Well some songs we don’t play at our shows, we save them strictly for the demo. No label wants to buy a song you’ve already shared with everyone. They want to be the ones to introduce you and your music.”
“What about our song?” she asks. She’s talking about the ballad I wrote for her. Neither she nor I have come up with a name for it yet.
“No one will ever hear that one but you. That’s just for us.” She gives me that smile again, her eyes bright.
“I kind of love that,” she says.
15
Mayzie
I’m settled in for another Turn it Up show at The Cedar. The guys are half-way into their set, totally in the throws. Ever since their show at The Black Fire, they’ve really taken their performance up a few notches and I can tell the crowd appreciates it.
Annie is here with me too, though she’s been spending a lot of time yakking with Tyler. As I’m dancing in my seat with my eyes on the stage, I see a figure approach in my peripheral. I tear my eyes away to acknowledge a man that's tall, somewhat stocky, looks to be late forties to early fifties, with kind, puppy dog eyes.
"These guys sound alright, do you know them?" he asks, as he stands beside my seat and looks up to the stage.
"Yeah,” I say, nodding.
"They got a demo?" he asks. I take a moment to turn and really get a good look at him. He's still watching the stage.
"Yeah," I finally say, "They do." He nods, still watching the stage.
"Alright then. Thanks." I smile and turn back to the stage. When there's a break between songs, I turn back to find him gone.
Jack
One of our best shows yet, and it feels so good to finally be playing in front of Mayzie and have her there in the crowd. I feel like I'm letting loose more than ever before. The guys and I are sitting at the bar, recovering with some beers while we wait for the crowd to clear out. Once the place is
empty, we'll go pack up. I sent Maze home a while ago to get some sleep, since we'll be here a while taking down equipment. As we’re talking and unwinding, I look up to see a guy leaning over the other end of the bar, talking to Tyler, showing him a card. Tyler’s eyebrows go up and he glances down at us, looks back to the guy and nods. The guy makes his way over to us, holding out his hand to me.
"Fellas, nice show,” he says.
"Thanks,” I say, shaking back. Once he's done shaking hands with Matt, Chris and Josh, he straightens and introduces himself.
"I'm Ron Samuels. I'm a music manager. Have you guys ever heard of ECHO records?" We all freeze, a couple of us with drinks halfway to our mouths. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Anyway, I'm from a special division we have at the label geared towards acts that are just starting out. Your band has a lot of threads and links on YouTube and it's been showing up on our radar in the last couple of weeks. I came to check you guys out.”
"You're shitting me," Matt says, with his hands on his head.
"I don't have time for shitting people," Ron continues. "The division I'm from does things differently than most labels. I'll explain more if you guys have a meeting with me. I understand you guys have a demo?”
"Yeah," I answer as Matt hauls ass over to his guitar case by the side of the stage to retrieve the disc for him. He comes back, handing it to Ron.
See Her (Turn it Up Book 1) Page 14