by Jenika Snow
“Let’s go check it out and see what we can do about getting it up and running.” He smiled, just the corner of his mouth kicking up, flashing straight white teeth. He held his hand out for me to go first, and when I walked past him, his body heat moved right into me, causing me to sweat harder.
Get it together.
Once we were standing by my car, the hood popped, and Roman leaning down to get a look at it, I found myself staring at him once more. He was like the negative end of this magnet and I was the positive. I couldn’t not be drawn to him.
I looked at where his hand was curled around the edge of my car, grease stains around his finger nails, his skin this golden color like it had been kissed by the sun. I lifted my gaze over his muscular, vein-roped forearm, my heart starting to pound a little bit harder.
“What was the problem with it?” he asked in his deep, baritone voice.
He was still bent over looking under the hood, but he turned his head to the side to glance at me. I stood there for a moment, my mouth opening and closing like I was a fish out of water. Finally, I cleared my throat and rubbed my hands down my thighs, wiping the sweat off and trying to focus on something else.
“It started making this weird noise, then smoke was coming out from under the hood. Also, my temperature thing was going all the way to hot.”
He straightened slightly and grinned. “Your temperature thing. The gauge?”
I felt my cheeks heat. God, why was it so hot? “Yeah, the gauge went all the way to hot.”
He nodded and looked back under the hood. “Well, I’m going to assume it’s your water pump, but yours is buried pretty deep down.”
“Water pump? Is that something serious?”
He stood there for a moment, and then straightened fully. “Nah, not really. It’s an easy enough fix.” He looked back at the shop. I followed his gaze but didn’t see what he was staring at. When Roman finally looked at me again I felt a tingle move through me.
I tried to play it off like I had control over my emotions, pretended like he didn’t affect me the way he really did. For the most part, I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job, or maybe that was just wishful thinking.
“Listen, Randy is a good guy and all, but he overcharges for labor.” He closed the hood of my car and leaned against the front of it, crossing his arms over his chest, his lean muscle being displayed under his coveralls. “How about I just come over and fix it? Shouldn’t take me more than a day, and that way it’s not gonna cost you an arm and a leg.” He gave me that lopsided grin again and I felt my pulse jump.
“Really?” The fact Roman was willing to do that would have made me fall for him even if I wasn’t already madly in love with him. “That would be fantastic. Maybe I can pay you back by taking you out to dinner or something?” I immediately felt stupid for even suggesting that. But his smile relaxed me slightly.
“I’d like that,” he said and for a moment we just stood there staring at each other, not speaking. “Listen, I’ll have one of the guys tow your car back to your house. Then I can come over Saturday and fix it up, if that works?”
I was nodding before he even finished speaking. “Yeah, that will work perfectly.” Again, nothing was said as we stared at each other.
“Great. Listen, how about I give you a ride home?”
I was about to eagerly accept when the sound of a car pulling into the parking lot had me looking over. My father’s SUV came to a stop beside my car, and I silently cursed him for ruining the moment.
What moment? The one where you imagined throwing yourself into Roman’s arms?
I looked back at Roman and smiled. “Thank you again, I really do appreciate it. We’ll have to plan for that dinner, okay?” I turned and headed toward my dad’s vehicle before he could get out and start doing the whole third-degree interrogation about my car. Besides, at this moment the best thing for me to do was probably get out of here before I put my foot in my mouth and embarrassed myself further.
I looked out the passenger side window at Roman, who continued to stand by my car, his arms crossed, his focus on me. He wore this strange expression on his face, one where he was probably wondering what the hell my problem was, why I was so awkward.
I exhaled and rested my head back on the seat as my father pulled away from the mechanic shop. He was going on about the car and asking questions, but the only thing I could think about was how long I could go keeping the secret that I was in love with Roman.
Chapter Six
Roman
I opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. The sound of a football game coming from the living room was obnoxiously loud.
I heard a couple of my friends holler out at a missed play, and for a moment I just stood in the kitchen, refusing to head out there.
The truth was more times than not I liked being by myself. I was still so young at only twenty, but how I’d been back in the day, hanging out with less than respectable friends, partying too hard, getting into trouble and being reckless, that seemed like a lifetime ago now.
I was trying to make myself better, do better.
“Roman, get your ass out here.”
I exhaled as I heard Raif shout from the living room.
“And bring a couple beers, would yah? Game’s getting fucking intense.”
I tipped the bottle back and took a long pull of the beer, the hoppy, buttery flavor sliding down my throat. I didn’t move for a long moment, and instead let my thoughts wander to far more pleasant things, to thoughts of a certain someone I’d much rather be spending tonight with.
I thought about today, about seeing Kennedy, offering to fix her car at her place. I’d wanted to say a lot more than I had, and I probably would’ve—maybe—but then her father had shown up.
I took another long drink from my beer, staring at the wall in front of me, picturing her today, the sun beating down on her dark hair, my fingers itching to touch the strands. I wanted to touch every part of her, memorize every dip and hollow, every inch that made her up. I wanted to watch her push her glasses up the bridge of her nose, to run my thumb along her bottom lip, gently pull the flesh down.
Damn, I wanted to do a lot filthier things than that.
My cock started to stiffen behind my fly at those thoughts, and I reached down and adjusted myself. I would have bet she was innocent as hell, untouched, ripe for the picking.
For me.
Only me.
I’d do anything for her, whether she knew it or not.
I opened the fridge and grabbed a couple more beers, then headed back into the living room. Raif and Theo were sitting on the couch, their feet propped up on the coffee table, the game playing on the big screen. I sat on the chair beside the couch after handing them the beers, staring at the game, my mind elsewhere, as it usually was where Kennedy was concerned.
The guys cheered when a touchdown was made, but all I did was sit there and tip my beer back, taking another drink. I stared at the TV but wasn’t focused on it.
“Yo, dude, you good?”
I glanced over at Theo. “What?”
“Ever since we came over you’ve been spaced out.”
“Sorry, I got shit on my mind.” Raif looked over at me then, this blank look on his face. It was clear he didn’t give two shits about anything but the game.
“You got girl trouble?” Raif said and looked back at the game.
“Just work shit,” I lied easily.
“Damn, I thought it was girl trouble. I don’t think you’ve ever talked to us about anyone you were dating.” Raif still stared at the TV, his voice conveying he’d probably prefer us to shut the fuck up.
But I certainly wasn’t going to start talking about anything to do with Kennedy, especially with these two jokers.
“You know what I think would make you feel better?” Raif said. “Do you know what I think would make all of us feel better?”
Before I could shut it down, because I knew exactly what he was going to say, he started ta
lking again.
“I think a badass party this weekend is exactly what we need.”
“No, I think that’s the last thing I need.” I tipped my beer back and finished it off. “I have to work all week anyway. I also got shit to do all day Saturday.”
“We’ll handle everyone, won’t we, Theo?”
“Yeah, a party sounds badass.”
“Nah, I really don’t think I’m up for it.”
“Dude, that’s exactly what you need. You’ve been in this funk for a long fucking time. It’s been forever since you let loose.”
I was shaking my head, but I knew this was already set in motion before I even got a word out.
“Besides, hanging out by yourself during the weekend is lame, bro. We can get some kegs, bring some food, and listen to some music. We can keep it low-key.”
I looked over at Raif and knew that this would be the furthest thing from low-key.
“Bring that girl you’re crushing on.”
I straightened. “What are you talking about?” I sure as shit hadn’t told them about Kennedy.
“Listen, I know some girl’s got you tied up in knots. We aren’t blind, man. If you don’t want to tell us about her, that’s your business. But bring her over, let her let loose with you. Maybe she’ll be able to get that stick out of your ass.” Raif and Theo started laughing and I glowered at them.
Thinking of Kennedy hanging out with me at my place, even if it was with a house full of people, sounded like pure fucking heaven.
“Ah yeah, dude. I can tell you are up for it.”
“There’s no girl, but whatever.” I didn’t want to tell them about Kennedy because I wanted to keep her to myself. I needed to keep my emotions private, intimate. Saying them out loud to these two fools would only cause more drama.
When the time was right, everyone would know, but until then, until I told her first, I was keeping things to myself.
Chapter Seven
Kennedy
I brought my pencil to my mouth and started chewing on the end, a bad habit I’d picked up when I started classes. It only got worse if I was having trouble on a subject. The act of my teeth gently biting into the wood, the sound it made, took my mind off of the stress momentarily.
I stared at the book, the words starting to mesh together into one jumbled mass. I’d been in the library at the college for the past three hours, and my head was starting to pound, this rhythmic beat right behind my eyes. I closed my eyes and set my pencil down, lifting my hands and placing my fingers at my temples. I started going in slow circles, trying to rub the tension away, ease the pain.
I’d been studying so hard these last few days, and that, coupled with the stress of wanting to tell Roman how I felt but being too afraid, was giving me a massive migraine.
The sound of a someone clearing their throat right beside me had me opening my eyes and looking to the side. I tipped my head back as I saw Roman standing there, this concerned look on his face, his brows lowered.
“You okay?” His voice was so deep, and despite the pain behind my forehead, I felt desire wash through me.
“Just a headache. I need to get something for it but I’m too lazy to get up.” I chuckled but then winced as the pain intensified. “It’s all this studying and stress.” I left out the part about some of that stress being from my growing feelings for him.
No, not feelings but love. Full-on, hardcore love.
He turned and I was left sitting there, confusion filling me. It was a good five minutes before he came back. Roman pulled out a chair across from me and sat down.
“Where’d you run off to?”
He set a small packet of ibuprofen on the table between us, then reached in his bag for a bottle of water.
“Figured I could help you out with the pain relief part.” He flashed me that lopsided grin that I loved so much.
I pushed my glasses up and grabbed the packet, opening it and tossing the pills in my mouth. I grabbed the bottle next, washing the pills down with room temperature water. “Thank you.”
He leaned back in the chair and smiled. It wasn’t one of those cocky, lopsided ones he tended to give everyone—the ones I got all hot and bothered over. It was genuine, as if he were truly glad that I’d taken what he’d offered.
He looked down at the book that was opened in front of me and leaned forward, bracing his forearms on the table and knitting his eyebrows. He tipped his chin toward it. “Bet that’s some advanced stuff, isn’t it?”
I shrugged but felt my face heat. It was, but I didn’t say those words.
“Yeah, I knew it was ‘cause you’re so damn smart.”
I glanced up at him, knowing my face was red as hell. I hated when I was embarrassed. My face got so red, my body starting to sweat.
“So, you’ll probably be studying all weekend?” He leaned back on the seat again and I couldn’t help but watch the way his shirt tightened against his chest.
Roman was lean, defined. He wasn’t bulky like a wrestler, more toned like a swimmer. But either way, no matter what, he had my heart racing and my belly tightening.
I looked down at my book for a moment and licked my lips, wanting to tell him that if he had plans, I’d be more than happy to do them with him. But that was wishful thinking, wasn’t it? Why would Roman ever ask me to do anything with him?
I was a book nerd, spent more of my time in the library than anywhere else.
He had a slew of friends and his own place.
I was still living with my parents.
We were on total opposites of the social spectrum.
I looked up at him and saw he watched me intently, this strange expression on his face. He cleared his throat and shifted his big body on the chair, as if he were embarrassed, or as if I’d caught him doing something he shouldn’t have.
“Yeah, I’ll probably be studying. But only because it’s not like I have anything else to do.” I laughed awkwardly.
He didn’t say anything for a moment and I felt this heavy weight settle between us. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t how I normally felt around him. It was almost strained, as if he wanted to say something, but was fighting against it.
“Listen,” he said and cleared his throat again. “Saturday night, after I’m done working on your car—” He paused for a minute and looked away, and I couldn’t help but smile, feeling this endearment fill me at the fact that Roman was clearly nervous. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him this way before.
He didn’t speak for a moment, and I wondered if he was trying to decide how he would word this. Although it was kind of funny, I did feel a little anticipation about what he would actually say. If he was this nervous asking me, was it something bad?
“I’m having a little gathering at my house,” he said and looked back at me. “Although I will say it wasn’t really my idea. A couple of my friends thought it would be a good time, but that’s left to be seen.” He gave me that lopsided smile and I wondered if that was something he did when he was nervous, like when I licked my lips or pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose. “Anyway, if you think you can pull yourself away from studying for a few hours, I’d love if you came and hung out.”
I immediately wanted to say yes, that I’d love to hang out with him. It was an excuse for me to spend more time with Roman outside of family gatherings. But a part of me, the reserved, shy and homebody part, stayed silent, knowing that me going to a gathering like that would probably be a bad idea. I would look out of place, a sore thumb sticking out. And I didn’t want people staring, didn’t want any kind of confrontation. I was a hermit in every sense of the word, but could I put all that aside to be able to hang out with Roman?
“A party? I don’t know, Roman. I’ve never actually been to one before.” God, saying that out loud was so embarrassing. But it was the truth. I hadn’t been popular in high school, so I hadn’t been invited to any parties. And in college, I just focused on school.
When I wasn’t doing that, I was swimmin
g or running, or spending time with Isaac. I did have a part-time job, but one that was only a day or two a week, if the diner had any hours for me. And even that was a frustration for my father, seeing as he preferred I focus completely on school.
But how did he expect me to be an adult if I wasn’t multitasking my life? There were some things I just wasn’t willing to give up.
And as I looked at Roman, I realized he was at the top of that list.
“There’s nothing to be scared about,” he said and reached out to take my hand. I knew it was just a nice, genuine gesture, one to make me feel better, but my reaction was instant.
His touch on me was like fire licking over my skin. His hand was so much bigger than mine, and his sun-kissed skin was a stark contrast to my pale shade. He was masculine where I was feminine, and I felt my heart flutter at that fact.
How would it feel to have him above me, all that raw, lean power dominating me? And I’d give myself over so freely. God, would I give myself over to him.
I clenched my thighs together, thankful he couldn’t see the act and guess why I was doing it, the crazy reaction he conjured in me.
Because just looking at him, and that small touch of his hand on mine, had me wet.
No matter how hard I tried to act controlled and calm, I felt like I failed miserably, like he could read me as easily as this open book in front of me.
“I’ll be there to protect you.”
I looked down and stared at his hand on mine, at the way he rubbed his thumb along the top of my wrist. Every part of me tingled, came alive. “I don’t know if I’d fit in, Roman. I don’t know if I’d really feel comfortable there.”
This expression of disappointment washed over his face, but he masked it just as quickly as it had come, replacing it with understanding.