“I must admit the very first time I laid my eyes on the Earl of Chisholm, I never knew what love could feel like. He was a stranger who came to my aid.”
Eliza could hardly think of the right words. She thought she was sharing something terrible and dark and yet it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Being with Evan in secret those few times opened her eyes to a whole new world.
“Bertha, you should have seen him. He was in complete control, affectionate and always seemed to know what haunted my thoughts. Toss in a few scandals at his door, and the package was complete.”
She paused again, this time to step out of her gown.
“Madam, have I missed something? Who is this man you speak of and where did he try and rescue you from?”
“It is a very long story, Bertha, but I will try and keep it to the point. Shortly after my arrival in London, I took a day trip to do a bit of shopping. I had hoped to find some lovely linens to cheer up Mary. Little did I know at the time there was no cheering necessary. I may have taken a wee bit of a bad turn, unaccompanied, and found myself cornered by some ruffians.”
Her housekeeper gasped. “Madam! You should not have traveled alone. There are deviants everywhere!”
“Oh nonsense. The Earl of Chisholm must have noticed and followed these characters into the lane, and they assaulted him and ran off.” Eliza paced the room recounting the entire dreadful scene. “I had to find a hackney to help me take him back to Mary’s. Lord, oh lord. What a disaster that day turned out to me.”
“I can only imagine, madam. We best get to bed, if we are to leave at daybreak.”
“Indeed.”
Eliza quickly washed her face from the basin across from the bed, and slid into the lumpy bed. How she could not wait to spend her nights at home. Even if her cottage was small, and her juncture was just enough for her to keep William and Bertha, home was still home. Not even Evan could take that away from her.
She attempted to close her eyes, yet the vision of his dark hair and blue eyes gazing back at her brought on a wave of doubt. Would he really follow her to the country, or would he simply fall into his regular life and find a new mistress?
Eliza never knew what the feeling of jealousy meant before now, but the pang in her heart could not have been clearer. She was jealous that Evan would easily replace his affections for her to another.
“Mistress, is there anything the matter?” Bertha asked.
Eliza could not disguise her new feelings anymore. She had to find a way to conquer them and move forward with her life. She turned in bed to face her housekeeper and whispered, “I fear I have fallen in love with the earl. The very thought that he will take on a new lover after he realizes I have departed back to the country distresses me so.”
“Well that is a bit of a worry, but never fear, mistress. If the man truly had any honorable intentions toward you, he would follow ye to the ends of the earth. Besides, if you were looking for a courtship, why on earth did you leave in the first place?”
Fear. That crippling ailment that has ruined dreams and lives all the same. She was not so afraid of what society thought of her, more the change it would bring. Her own husband had died within two years of their marriage. He had left her to her own devices. A younger man on the other hand was accustomed to controlling every aspect of their lives within their reach.
Eliza supposed sooner or later she would have to consider remarrying, yet the idea of her freedom gone in an instant troubled her. How she wished the world did not revolve around men so much, but such was their way of life in these complex times. Why did society have to bungle things up so terribly?
“Mistress, if you do not mind my saying so, if you do wish to see the earl again you could always invite him to one of country assemblies that Sir Henry hosts.”
“I suppose that would make for a kind gesture but one would have to ask him to extend that invitation himself. I simply cannot invite a man to ball without him being my own personal guest.”
Her housekeeper grinned. “Where, pray tell, is the problem with such a thing? The world is changing, mistress, whether we accept it or not.”
“Do you honestly think that man would accept a personal invitation by me to attend?”
“Why on earth not? If the earl was interested in you beyond your initial meeting, then one can only conclude his interest in you is more than just friendship. The question remains, how do you feel this friendship will end; in courtship, or a complete disaster? Do try and be honest with yourself but first, let us sleep. We only have a few hours before we must ride.”
Eliza groaned. “Yes. We must sleep. I do hate being such a bother.”
She rolled over to the other side facing the door. Once they arrived and settled perhaps she would invite him as her personal guest to attend. No one would certainly know who he was, much less question his intentions. A country assembly was just that; good music, non-judgmental conversation and time away from the vipers from town.
As soon as she was quite recovered from their journey home, she would send him a letter inviting him. Part of her hoped he would not write back but part of her wanted to see him again, and so much more than a passionate kiss in a carriage.
* * *
Evan had not said a word to his sister the whole way home, nor that morning at breakfast. Something in the manner Eliza had left last night did not feel quite right and he hoped to get to the bottom of it this morning.
There were things, of course, that were beyond his control, yet last night things had gotten far out of hand. Dodds and Hubert had no business there. As for the gossip by their hostess that evening, well, in part, he had expected nothing less from those meddling hens.
The way Eliza had defended him though, surprised and pleased him. Never in his life did he think he’d see the living day where a woman defended his honor. Not even his own mother would do such a thing, however, his mother was a dragon. She only cared for her own self and how his and Annabelle’s actions would impact her role within society. His mother had, obviously, an abundance of time to meddle up until now but since having her moved into the dower house, whilst he dealt with finding Annabelle a husband, she had managed to completely snub him at every turn.
He had servants invite her to future dinners he had planned with several notable families and each request was declined.
It was, without a doubt, that his mother had been grievously offended, yet the issue remained; finding Annabelle a suitable husband before time ran out.
Evan pushed his plate from the breakfast laid out for him, untouched. These days, the only thing on his mind should be on his sister, and yet that bonny widow occupied every thought and his dreams.
When would this madness end? The woman was lovely but, for as much as she returned his affections for her, there was a certain shyness about her. One would consider her indifferent to him, however, given her lack of experience he would have to give her extra care, which he did not mind in the least bit.
He desperately wanted to show her how relations could be between a man and a woman, and not out of necessity. With a partner of mutual interest congress between them, with a little patience, was sure to be sinful and satisfying.
Evan noticed all the lecherous gazes the other men gave his Eliza last evening. Most turned their heads to her lovely neck line and that delectable bosom of hers.
“Evan, you have hardly eaten your breakfast, what seems to be the issue?”
“Absolutely nothing, Annabelle. I just feel I should go and check on Eliza after last night's disastrous turn of events. I would hate for her to be upset with me. I had no idea Dodds and Hubert would be there.”
Of course, it was far more than just last night's events that troubled him. It was becoming apparent that the whole of London knew about his affair with Amelia. Toss in the slight matter of her cousin being married to Haversham, and he was profoundly sure Haversham’s family would never accept either Mary, or Eliza, with open arms. Last evenings debacle could have
been avoided altogether if Haversham quietly married Mary and held a ball after the fact.
Such was the way and there was nothing to be done about the mess. He would call on Eliza and see if she would take a drive in his carriage with him. They had much to discuss.
Evan wanted to see her, spend more time with her, but only if she truly wanted to. For the sake of finding Annabelle a husband, too, they would have to be discrete about their visits. But, that too, would create more questions than answers. Society would expect something even more sinister and improper. The woman was a widow and could do as she saw fit but, at the same time, he did not want to risk ruining her reputation considering she was reliant on her jointure. He would, of course, aid her in anything she needed but, in doing so, he felt it prudent to be known that this in no way meant she was his mistress.
For the first time in his twenty-five years, he fancied himself in love with a woman. The question remained though; did Eliza’s own feelings match his? If only he could marry off his silly sister, there would be no reason to keep to the shadows with a courtship.
How he wished Eliza had stayed and at least shared a dance with him. The sight would surely have vexed Amelia, who was present, and, under normal circumstances, he’d have enjoyed the gossip for once. This whole business with Amelia and Annabelle certainly complicated matters.
Evan pushed his chair away.
“Joseph, ready my carriage. I would like to be in town before noon.”
“Oh, brother! Will you take me too?” Annabelle asked. “I long to see Eliza after last evening.”
“No! You will remain here and make a list of potential guests for a garden party. Equal men to women. Am I understood?”
She frowned. “Yes, brother.”
He departed the dining hall and returned to his chamber to change into something a little more appealing. For whatever unknown reason, his desire to impress Eliza was a priority. One would think he was still a wet behind the ears school boy with this new-found obsession of his.
As quickly as he got changed, Evan raced out the door to his carriage. There was not a moment to waste. All they had to do was ensure his sister was married and the two of them could be free to do as they wished.
“Where to, my lord?”
“We are off to see Lady Winston.”
“Certainly, sir.”
A million thoughts, desires and worries raced through this fog of love. He could not fathom why a man would marry so old, much less marry a young woman. A woman he could not give a child to. Eliza would have been better off a spinster taking employment as a governess. She would, at the very least, have had a marginally better income, he hoped.
Not only did it upset him to his very core that the ton viewed her as barren, it disappointed him so that her husband’s son did not take better care of the woman who was sweet. A woman who was thrust into a situation that had forever altered her opportunities.
The carriage came to a halt half way though he had no idea why. Evan pounded on the roof. “What is going on out there?”
“Nothing, sir. Just a carriage broken down up ahead. Shall I see if they require a hand?”
“As long as it will not take long.”
Minutes went by and his driver knocked on the door before opening it.
“The road is clear now, sir. They were having issues with the harness, but it has been resolved.”
“Very well, we must make haste. I would hate to miss this engagement.”
His driver closed the door and they proceeded toward town. With any hope Eliza would receive him, they could put last evening’s drama behind them and come to some arrangement of beneficial satisfaction.
Last eve had been the first he’d had the pleasure of seeing the fine lady she was. Dignified, proper, honest and without fault; genuine. Which was more than what he could say of the ladies of the ton.
Evan had not been one for fashion or frivolities, nor did he give two figs for gossip. Since being left the earldom there was much to care for: family and land. Both had been severely neglected, and the one wish he had for his own sister was that she married for love, or something close to it. A loveless marriage, much like his parents, was doomed to fail. Hearts broken beyond repair and the burdens would fall on their children to reverse.
His mother begged and taunted him to marry and while it was true he had no designs on marrying just anyone; the woman would have to be compatible for the sake of a successful union. A house could not run alone with just a man running every detail. A well-balanced marriage, in and out of the bed, made successful business and society dealings. Better opportunities for heirs and daughters, as well.
Evan desperately wanted Eliza in the way any married man wanted a wife. Willing, capable, and with enough gumption to stand up for what was right. No person was exempt from an honest litany of truths that should be expected between man and wife. While his parents may have not had that sort of understanding between them, it was obvious he wanted that sort of arrangement for when he was ready to marry.
Could she be the one? They were soon to find out.
His carriage came to a halt outside the townhouse.
Evan’s breath caught in his chest. Why did this moment suddenly feel so inopportune? They had already spent intimate moments together, and not by any means in the traditional sort of manner. He rescued her and she returned the favor. He attempted to save her from two scoundrels at a party and she defended his honorable intentions whilst he had been on the floor recovering from some blows, once again.
Eliza was a rare woman. Her quiet and strong demeanor backed an unsuspecting passion. How he longed to hold her in his arms again and do so much more. Gone were the days where he fancied a pretty woman to ease some of his stress. He yearned for something greater now; a passion that no man alive could ever understand. Evan only hoped that she would see his way of the matter.
Evan leapt from the carriage and hurried up the walk. He knocked on the door and was greeted in by a man servant.
“My mistress will join ye in just a minute, sir.”
He paced the cozy parlor when it dawned on him that the servant had referred to his mistress instead of Eliza. What in the world was going on?
Evan yanked his gaze onto Mary when she entered.
“I do apologize, my lord, however, as you can see, Eliza is not here,” she said.
He took three steps to her and stopped. “Where has she gone?”
“My only guess is that she had planned to leave after the ball last evening. I went to check on her this morning and her trunk was gone.” Mary fanned herself and took a seat on the divan. “I suppose I should have warned her we were planning on making the announcement, but there was no need for her to return to the country. I would have been happy for to continue on here.”
“Do you suppose that is the only reason why she left, Mary?”
She sighed. “Of course not. After she left as she came to your defense when those men were dragged out, all the ladies were discussing whatever connection you have with her. Your poor sister was mortified, my lord.”
“I am well aware of that fact, madam.”
Mary stiffened. “Well then, my lord, if you have any honorable intentions toward my cousin, I would cease wasting your time here and catch her at Briar Cottage at once. It is a wee place on the edge of Devonshire on the family’s land. One cannot miss it from the road.”
Evan grunted. He hadn’t meant to, but the noise escaped him like he was unhappy child.
“Thank you, and a good day to you.”
He left the room and when he reached his driver he gave them the direction of where they needed to go. Evan desperately hope the woman would be home when he arrived. He did not think he would last another moment if he did not kiss her again.
Chapter Eleven
Eliza stared out the window of her bed chamber for what seemed to be hours; lost in a daze of confusion. Her plan to return home was a sound decision, yet a part of her missed London. Perhaps not town b
ut her cousin and a certain gentleman in particular.
She supposed part of her doldrums was due to being constantly surrounded with people this last month. Now that she had returned to the cottage she returned to the idyllic life she was grateful for since her husband passed.
In the morning, she would visit the vicar and his wife and see if she could help them with the orphan children they sheltered. She was quite capable in educating the children. She could even help some of the older girls find employment as governesses. Governesses were always needed and the papers had an abundance of opportunities.
Ugh. Why wait until morning? She would go now and hopefully be home before the rain came.
Eliza pulled herself away and gathered her cloak.
“Where are you off to, mistress?” the housekeeper asked when she reached the kitchen.
“I will be walking to the vicarage and hope to be there before the downpour. I will attempt to be home before supper but, if it does rain, I may have to wait it out.”
“I can have James fetch you this afternoon.”
“That is very kind of you but I prefer to walk.”
Without another word, she left the cottage for what would take an hour to walk. The time and fresh air would do her constitution well. She had spent half a month in a whirlwind of confusion; everyone had a secret, even her own cousin. She still had an abundance of questions for her cousin, yet they were all irrelevant. Mary would marry while her son was off with the regiment. Haversham would care for her and help her son when he returned.
Literally everyone in her circle of family and friends maintained some sort of occupation and now she was left to discover her own. London had already decided she was barren with little thought or consideration her own husband could no longer father anymore. So, her prospects for anything else beyond being a widow did not exist. To even remotely think there was a brighter and happier future with a new husband, well, those thoughts could be carried by the wind now.
She had at least a quarter hour left ahead of her when the rain fell hard. She would certainly catch the death of her if she did not run. Yet it mattered not if she perished now. What was there left for her?
The Elusive Lady Winston (Regency Rendezvous Book 5) Page 8