by Joan Holub
“I’ll miss you, cutie patootie,” Aphrodite told the kitten, giving it a pet. It was dark by now, she realized. Some players had left their chairs to begin cleaning up the cupola. A few had even drifted off to their dorm rooms to finish homework assignments before getting ready for bed. The Pin the Tail game had just ended too. She’d been so focused on the Two Truths and a Lie game that she hadn’t even heard them running around on the other side of the room as they played.
“I’ll take you home in my chariot,” she heard Hades tell Persephone. As the two of them exited through the cupola door, Ares stood up from his chair and stretched. “Don’t you think you’d better be getting home too?” he hinted to Eris. “It’s getting late. I say we declare this game a tie and call it a night.”
Aphrodite and Athena looked at each other in alarm. Hera looked upset too. Did she really think she was still in the running? Her scores from the first round were so low there was no way she could catch up. It struck Aphrodite then that all three of them equally yearned to possess the magnificent apple trophy. What was it about that trophy that drew them so? She didn’t care. She only knew that she was going to be the one to get it.
Before Eris could respond to Ares’s suggestion, Zeus reappeared in the cupola. He was already dressed in slippers, a dark blue velvety robe, and pj’s that had a blue and yellow thunderbolt design. “You’re still here, Hera?” he said with a big yawn.
Hera flashed a covetous glance at the bag on the floor by Eris’s chair. The one that held the precious golden apple trophy. “We were playing a game,” she told Zeus. “There’s one more round to go. I’ll be along after I’ve won.”
Aphrodite couldn’t believe it. Hera really didn’t seem to get that she’d already lost. Or maybe she only refused to accept it.
Athena gave her stepmom a twisted smile. “I believe I’m ahead.”
What? thought Aphrodite. Her stomach clenched. She was the fairest, so obviously the trophy was meant for her! “You mean we are ahead. In a tie.”
Athena just shrugged.
Looking a little befuddled, Zeus glanced from his wife to his daughter, then back again to Hera. “Come on, sugar pie,” he coaxed. “The game can’t be that important.”
Hera pouted, flicking her hands at him in a shooing motion. “Go. I’m staying,” she declared.
Uh-oh, thought Aphrodite. She was sure that Hera had gone too far this time. Zeus didn’t like to be defied. By anyone. Even though she’d never seen him get mad at Hera, Aphrodite cringed, fully expecting him to rain thunderbolts down upon them all.
To her surprise, he was uncharacteristically patient. And crafty, too. He turned to Ares. “I imagine your sister needs to get home. Why don’t you see her on her way?”
Ares leaped out of his chair. “Good idea!”
“No. Wait!” Aphrodite, Hera, and Athena chorused.
“I’m scared of the dark!” Eris announced before they could continue. All eyes swung to her. “And I’m sooo tired. Can’t I sleep over at MOA tonight?” She yawned a big fake-looking yawn, probably trying to convince Zeus.
He frowned. “Don’t you need to get back for school tomorrow?”
“It’s my school’s semester break,” Eris rushed to say. “Two weeks off.”
Athena jumped up. “Yes! Let her stay, Dad. Then we can at least finish the game tomorrow. We were really having fun. Please?”
“All right,” Zeus agreed, softening in the face of her beseeching. Aphrodite had the feeling that he was still reluctant to let Eris linger here at MOA, however.
“Yes!” Hera crowed. She got to her feet, clasping her hands together in delight. But then a fretful look came into her eyes and her shoulders slumped. “Wait. I just remembered I have a big shipment of gowns coming to my shop tomorrow. And appointments all week. I’ll have to leave early in the morning for the IM.”
“Oh, too bad, sweetcakes,” Zeus said. Not looking sorry at all, he took Hera’s elbow and steered her toward the cupola door.
“But I wanted to win the trophy,” Hera protested as she and Zeus neared the exit.
“Trophy? What trophy? You’ve already got the best trophy any woman could ever hope to win,” he told her. “You’ve got me!”
To Hera’s credit, she laughed. “True,” she said fondly. Then the two of them headed off.
Aphrodite’s spirits brightened. With Hera out of the competition, she had a fifty-fifty chance of winning Eris’s glorious golden trophy. But Athena was smiling too. Was she thinking the same thing?
“Wait!” Eris piped up just as Zeus followed Hera out the door. “Could I maybe stay longer than just tonight? Like maybe a couple of days? Or a week?”
Zeus turned back, his eyebrows slamming together. Sparks of electricity zinged from his fingers and crackled in the air around him, a sure sign he was annoyed.
“It’s just that I hardly ever get to see Ares,” Eris mumbled. Aphrodite gasped softly. Eris was really pushing her luck.
“But where would you stay?” Ares put in. “And what’ll you do all day while we have classes? It’ll be boring. So maybe it would be better if you go on ho –”
He broke off as Eris sniffled. A little crocodile tear slid down her cheek. Aphrodite was pretty sure it was fake, since it had happened so quickly. Ares didn’t look taken in either, but the tear seemed to totally fool Zeus.
“Are you . . . crying?” he asked in horrified tones. He started backing toward the door, where Hera still lingered, his blue eyes wide now. “Stop. It’s okay. I hereby proclaim that you can stay till dinner tomorrow.”
Eris nodded meekly. “You’re so kind,” she whispered.
“Yeah,” Zeus said gruffly. Then he drew himself up into a regal pose, turned abruptly, and marched from the cupola with Hera on his arm. Only the King of the Gods and Ruler of the Heavens could make an exit in thunderbolt pj’s still look dignified, thought Aphrodite.
“Why are you and Athena so keen on that trophy?” a voice asked from beside her. Pandora.
“I don’t know. It’s cute, that’s all,” Aphrodite told her, though that wasn’t really it. She wasn’t sure she could explain her attraction to the trophy in a way that would make sense to anyone else.
Her eyes went longingly to the black trophy bag on the floor. She noticed that Athena was looking at it as well. That girl might be smart, but she could be smart, too! And she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that the fabulous trophy wound up hers!
4
An Accident
Ares
ERIS SEEMED QUITE PLEASED WITH herself for finagling an extra day at MOA, thought Ares as he and Apollo unwound the final remaining silver ribbon from a column. A bunch of students had stayed behind to help when the party ended, and now the decorations were down and the cake stuff had been cleaned up. All that was left to do was to stash the boxes of decorations in the storage cupboards along the wall.
“That’s the last of the streamers,” he told Aphrodite. “Thanks again for a great party. It was so–”
“Uh-huh. Sure,” she said, cutting him off. “Hey, Eris,” she called out. “Want to sleep over in my room tonight? I’ve got a spare bed.”
Ares groaned. But before he could utter a protest, Eris called back from across the room, “Sure, love to!”
Great. The last thing he needed was for his sister to get chummy with his crush. From the corner of one eye, he saw Athena shoot Aphrodite a dark look. Uh-oh, he thought. Looked like Eris was having her usual effect on others. Those two goddessgirls typically got along great. And Aphrodite had been rude to him just now, which wasn’t like her. Both were due to the influence of his troublemaking sister, no doubt.
“Sharing your room with my sister is a bad idea,” Ares told Aphrodite in a quiet voice as they began to stow the boxes of decorations. “Come up with some reason you just remembered why you can’t, okay?”
“Ha!” she teased, smiling at him. “You’re just afraid she’ll tell me some things about you that you d
on’t want me to know.” She shoved a box of streamers onto a low shelf in one of the storage cupboards.
Ares slid the heavier one he was carrying into an empty space on a higher shelf. “That’s not it at all,” he insisted, though that wasn’t strictly true. There were some stories Eris could tell that he’d just as soon Aphrodite didn’t hear. Like the embarrassing ones he’d told Apollo. “You don’t know what she’s like,” he went on, keeping his voice low so that no one else–especially not Eris–would hear. “Truth is . . . she’s the goddess of strife and discord!”
“And you’re the godboy of war,” Aphrodite reminded him, shrugging. “If I can get along with you, I’m pretty sure I can get along with your sister.”
Ares didn’t know how to respond to that. After all, she had a point. When she went to fetch another boxful of decorations from the center of the room, he followed. His mind raced as he tried to think of another way to convince her not to let Eris spend the night, but he came up empty.
With everyone’s help, all the boxes were soon neatly stowed away, except for one that someone had stuffed full of Ares’s birthday presents. Although it was heavy, he hefted it easily onto one shoulder to carry up to his room. He and Aphrodite walked side by side toward the exit door along with the other students who had stayed to help tidy up.
All smiles now, Eris pushed her way between Aphrodite and him, linking arms with Aphrodite. She still had that black bag of hers. She’d been guarding it for some reason instead of helping with the cleanup. Was there a birthday present inside it for him, or not? he wondered. Probably best not to bring it up, since any gift from her would probably be something intended to embarrass or wound him.
“MOA is fantastic,” Eris said, gazing out one of the cupola windows at the moonlit statues and the golden fountain in the courtyard below as the two girls started out ahead of him. “Wouldn’t it be great if I could go to school here, too?”
“Yeah, I don’t know why Zeus hasn’t invited you already!” Aphrodite agreed readily.
Behind them, Ares rolled his eyes. He couldn’t think of anything worse than having his sister here all the time. Luckily, Principal Zeus was not dumb. He must know Eris was the goddess of discord. The fact that he’d hesitated to let her stay seemed to show that he’d already figured out she was trouble. No way he’d invite her to enroll as an MOA student. Right?
The rest of the students were ahead of them by now. The last one to leave, Ares blew out the candles and shut the cupola door. After going down the winding stairs, he, his crush, and his sister were soon out on the main floor of the Academy. From there they took the marble staircase up toward the dorms.
As they climbed the steps, Aphrodite asked Eris, “So where do you think Mr. Dolos got that cool trophy?”
“What trophy?” Ares asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Eris said quickly. Then to Aphrodite she said, “What I want to know is where you got that awesome outfit.”
“This?” Aphrodite replied, reaching to give the skirt of her chiton a little swish with one hand. “It’s just something I whipped up myself actually.” This sent the two off on a long-winded fashion discussion that Ares tuned out. Seemed like Aphrodite had totally forgiven Eris for her sea foam remark. It was nice of his crush to befriend his sister, but he feared her kindness wasn’t worth the effort. Eris was better at destroying friendships than creating them.
He shifted the box of birthday gifts to his other shoulder. But then he almost dropped the box in alarm when Eris asked Aphrodite, “So how many brothers and sisters go to MOA anyway?”
“Well, there are Artemis and Apollo, of course,” Aphrodite replied. “And the Gorgon sisters–Medusa, Stheno, and Euryale. They’re triplets, only Medusa isn’t immortal like her sisters are. She’s the girl with the snaky hair, remem–”
“Yeah, yeah,” interrupted Eris. “Zeus only allows twins or triplets to attend MOA? Is that it? No just brothers and sisters like Ares and me?”
Ares’s shoulders tensed. Was his lie about to be exposed? Eris went to Corinthian Middle School now, but it probably wouldn’t last. Sooner or later, the strife and discord she brought with her would result in mayhem. And ultimately in her being expelled. And then . . .
“It’s just that I’d love to go to school with Ares. Wouldn’t that be fun?” As they all passed the third floor, Eris looked back over her shoulder at him and raised her brows as if daring him to disagree.
Ares just grunted, which caused Aphrodite to send him an annoyed look. She had no clue. All these years, the Academy had been his sanctuary, he wanted to tell her. A place where he was far away from Eris. Safe from her troublemaking powers. He knew it bugged his sister that he’d been here since first grade yet she was excluded. Well, tough. The good life he’d made for himself here at MOA was over if Principal Zeus ever invited her here.
“Hmm. I’m having trouble coming up with any brothers or sisters at MOA that aren’t twins or triplets, come to think of it,” Aphrodite said at last, her forehead wrinkled in thought.
Phew, thought Ares. Saved! Now Eris would keep thinking that the whole “MOA no-siblings rule” was true except in certain cases.
“You know, you should be careful about that,” Eris said sweetly as she examined Aphrodite’s expression.
“About what?” Aphrodite asked in confusion, since his sister’s comment had come out of nowhere.
“Forehead wrinkles,” Eris explained, her eyes on Aphrodite’s face.
“Oh no. Was I wrinkling my forehead? I’m usually very careful about that kind of thing,” Aphrodite said with a note of alarm. Wrinkles were fine for anyone else, but since she was the goddess of beauty, Ares knew she believed she had an image to maintain! Automatically, her fingers went to her face, tracing nonexistent lines.
Eris nodded. “And now you’re making frown wrinkles.” She shook her head, tsking.
“You see them, don’t you, Ares?” There was a tiny smile at the corners of his sister’s mouth as she looked back at him, her eyes gleaming.
“Huh?” said Ares. As usual, Eris was trying to create conflict. He was used to her doing that. As the goddess of strife and discord, it was what she did best.
Aphrodite had paused on the second-floor landing, and her pretty face was tilted up at him now as she awaited his reply. He was cornered. No matter how he answered, he was sure to say the wrong thing. If he told Aphrodite he saw no wrinkles, she’d accuse him of lying. If he said she did have a few, she’d get mad at him!
Why did girls worry so much about how they looked anyway? he wondered. Aphrodite was perfect. Didn’t she know that? Her long golden hair gleamed in the light from the torches that lined the Academy walls. Her blue eyes sparkled. Her heart-shaped face never failed to turn him to mush. Ares blurted, “I think Aphrodite is gorgeous, inside and out.” And that was the truth!
His crush sent him a sweet, grateful glance and linked her arm with his free one. Now he was between the girls as they started upward again. Score one for him. Take that, Eris! However, his sister looked ready with yet another barb that would likely cause more trouble.
Quickly he said something to redirect her attention, a favorite tactic of his that worked well with some girls, he’d found. “So how are things at home, sis?”
Sure enough, Eris forgot whatever she’d been about to say. With a huge sigh, she replied, “Mom’s on the warpath. Again.”
“What about?” Ares asked, genuinely interested. He darted a glance at Aphrodite and saw with relief that she seemed interested too. Phew. Looked like he was off the hook for any more of that “wrinkly” discussion.
His sister’s face darkened and she clenched her fists. “Corinthian Middle School gave me the boot yesterday. Can you believe it?”
Her words formed a lump of dread in Ares’s chest. So that’s why she’d shown up at Hera’s shop in the IM, he suddenly realized. It had nothing to do with his birthday. That was just an excuse. As he’d halfway suspected, it had really been the first step i
n her game plan to get an invitation to her dream school–MOA!
“How awful! You mean you were expelled?” asked Aphrodite. “Why?” she asked after Eris nodded.
“The principal blamed me for this stupid little accident that could’ve happened to anyone.” She paused, then added more quietly, “Too bad, because I kind of liked it there.” As soon as she said that last, she shot Ares an embarrassed glance, as if she thought confessing that had been an admission of weakness. And to her, it probably was!
He did a quick calculation. Eris had been kicked out of at least ten schools by now, he figured. It would be a huge mistake to mention that, though. If he did, sooner or later, she’d make him pay for bringing it up.
“What kind of accident?” Aphrodite asked.
“Well, I was acting as conflict-resolution monitor during recess,” Eris began.
“What?” Ares let out a guffaw, and both girls shot him exasperated glances. He was still trying to wrap his head around the idea of his sister being a conflict-resolution monitor as she went on.
“So I decided to help this group of kids settle their differences by holding a contest,” said Eris. “To see who could build the world’s largest snowman on the school roof.”
Hearing this foolishness, Ares felt some of the old anger well up inside him.
“Oh, no! What happened?” Aphrodite asked, wide-eyed.
“Well, during the night, the roof of the school collapsed.” Eris shrugged. “Who knew snow could be so heavy, right?”
“Ye gods!” Aphrodite exclaimed as they reached the fourth floor at last. “Was anyone hurt?”
“Nuh-uh. School was closed. Everyone was gone by then.”
“What a dumb–and dangerous–thing to do!” Ares blasted, for once not caring if Eris retaliated.
“Huh? You sound just like the principal!” she replied with a frown. “It wasn’t my fault that roof was weak. Anyway, the school is out of commission for now. Seemed like the perfect time to come visit you, bro!”
Ares let out a huff. Steadying the box on his shoulder, he reached his free hand toward the door to the girls’ dorm hall. He was more than ready to be rid of his sister for the night. He’d bet his favorite spear that she’d had something to do with causing the “differences” among those kids that she’d been “helping” at her school in the first place! She never thought anything was her fault. But once he told Zeus her story, there wouldn’t be a snowball’s chance in Hades’s Underworld that he’d invite her to MOA, no matter how she begged. Which meant he was safe. The thought calmed him.