Just A Bit Of Trust (Constel·lación #1)

by Noma-Tee Thompson

  “That is not permitted, Your Highness.”

  “Vivian! Leave the man alone. “

  Vivian looked at the direction of the voice that she had been longing to hear all morning. Her pleasure at seeing him warmed her cheeks. ”Oh, there you are.” She walked towards Didac unaware of the eyes watching her. ”I have been looking all over for you.” She took the initiative of sitting on his lap and touched her lips to his in her excitement. ”I wanted to talk to you. I was hoping that we could spend a little time together.”

  Someone cleared their throat. Vivian stretched herself on Didac’s lap to look over his shoulder and blushed deeper when she realized how many other people were in the room. She recognized Agostino immediately. Surely a Queen did not sit on the King’s lap in public.

  Before she leaped out of his lap, Didac pushed her off. Basara sniffing her was not her fault, but he didn’t have to like it. ”Not now Vivian, I am busy.”

  “Maybe later?” Vivian continued without noticing the tension in the room; her shy smile hopeful. She imagined that that was a lot that needed to be done after the war.

  “If I say I am busy, just give me time to do whatever I need to do. I have a lot of things to take care of, and I don’t need you to tell me you need to talk right now.” Didac said it a bit more harshly than he intended. He was physically and mentally exhausted. His mental psyche was bothered. Even if the war with Mother Earth had ended, there was still a lot that needed to be done. He had no time to entertain the fleeting demands of his mate.

  Shame filled the room. The voice in the back of her head knew that the way he spoke to her was wrong on so many levels. She was supposed to be his Queen, for his people to respect her it had to start with him. Those little voices in her head were her guardian angels when it came to dealing with her emotional, verbal and physically abusive father. They were never wrong. ”What did you just say?” This was humiliating. At that moment, visions of her father charged her mind. Her father took pleasure in humiliating her mother in public. Her mother smiled and pretended that everything was okay, but that was not going to be her. Her pain almost sent everybody in the room on to their knees.” You discredit me by speaking to me in that tone.”

  “No one is discrediting you.”

  “You are right; I discredited myself by agreeing to whatever you guys call it mating with you. All I want is the respect that you promised me when we made our vows.”

  “You mated well. I am the most powerful man in the solar system.”

  “I could have married someone else, and it would have been a proper mating. So I wouldn’t have to listen to the sound of your voice giving out orders.”

  Didac immediately regretted his choice of words.” I’m sorry Vivian; I didn’t mean to talk to you like that." Didac tried to repair the damage. "It’s just that so much had happened and it’s too much for me to handle right now. You don’t know how it -."

  “-Feels.” Vivian finished for him. ”You are right, I might have no idea on what it's like to be King, but I don’t take out my frustrations on other people.”

  She humphed ”And you think nothing has happened to me? How do you think I feel right now? Just because you are going through some things does not give you a reason to disrespect me."

  Didac tried to touch her. ”Don’t you dare touch me.” She warned and looked to Agusti. ”Agostino move my things to different quarters.”

  “You are staying in my quarters.” Didac barked out as if issuing an order.

  “Is that order, Your Majesty?”

  Didac knew when he was being mocked. “An order from the King is as good as a command.”

  “Really, what would you rather be? My King or my husband?”

  “I want to be your husband, but I am also the King.”

  “You have to learn to separate the two. You cannot treat me the way you treat your subjects.”

  “It is my birthright, deal with it.”

  “Is that all you care about?”

  “Have some dignity. There is a limit to what I will hear from you.”

  Vivian's face fell. ”It is apparent that I lost my dignity the minute I married you.” She wanted him to admit he was wrong and apologize. To show a little bit remorse. And she gave him the opportunity to do so.” I don’t think you meant to hurt me. I have seen and felt the tender and gentle way you have talked and touched me.”

  Treating one’s wife was a thing some man needed to be taught, but at the same token, the man had to be willing to compromise. Vivian watched him expectedly, and when he didn’t respond, she pursed her lips in disappointment. ”You don’t understand, do you? You know I have nowhere else to go so I will stay here, but I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that. Unless I get a proper apology from you, I will be sleeping in my own quarters.” When she got to the door, she tossed her hair over her shoulder to look at him.” And please do not even attempt to visit them if you know what’s good for you.”

  “Don’t be childish. We can remedy the situation.”

  “The only recourse we need is for you to realize that I am the only person you don’t have to keep your guard up with. I can be your sanctuary if you would just allow it.” She looked at Agostino and clapped. ”I meant right now as in right now. Not later.” Agostino looked to his King and then Queen and seemed undecided. “Don’t just stand there.” Agostino sauntered towards her. Vivian allowed him to go through the door first and cast daggers at her husband and followed him.

  Bernat’ eyes devoured Paka as she stood there at odds as to what do. Finally, her loyalty to her sister won. Since the object of her affection had left the room as well, she didn’t see a need to linger.

  “I’m just gonna go ok.” Paka turned to Annais.” Are you coming too?”

  Annais hesitated. The young woman hadn’t said anything but Annais empathetic nature understood her question as “we should stick together thing.” She fought with her emotions. As a sister, she was eager to school her brother on how to handle a male or a female, since she was one which her brother failed to recognize sometimes. As a female, she was angry at Didac too. She lifted her chin at her brother and pouted her lips too, and imitated an expression she had heard from Paka. ”Hell Yeah!”

  *****

  “Bravo Didac, really smooth,” Kugawa said after a pregnant silence.

  “Don’t you have anything to do?” Didac counteracted.

  “I know Kugawa likes to provoke you, but what she means to say is that you cannot talk to your wife in such a disrespectful way in public, she is your Queen.” Severus gave Kugawa a pointed look.

  “She has to understand that I have a responsibility to my people and have to make sure that they are safe and protected.” As much as he tried to convince himself, those words left an almost bitter taste in his mouth.

  “That is true. You may be stressed and angry, but you do not take it on your mate if you want a good mating.” Primo said. ”She was willing to forgive you on the spot; it was written all over her face. The only thing you had to do was just make that heartfelt apology.”

  “I cannot take advice from unmated males.”

  “I may be unmated, but I know women.” Primo said, scrunching his face.” They want to feel appreciated, loved, respected, protected and that entire stuff.”

  “You make it sound like a bad thing.” Kugawa frowned at Primo. ”Men want the same thing too.”

  “Spoken like a true man.” Primo nudged Kugawa on the shoulder.

  “Would you stop touching me?” It was more a directive than a question from Kugawa

  “If you behaved like a lady, I wouldn’t have to.”

  “Stop this, why do you keep going at each other like this?” Bernat interjected

  “It’s like some sort of perverted compulsion. It’s like a week old ilet, you know it’s bad, but you have to smell it.” Kugawa shrugged her shoulders.

  Primo laughed softly. ”I know what you mean. Your wit is devastating. You know what's going on here. Is it possible
that underneath all those layers of animosity that we feel for each other lies a bit of respect perhaps dare I even say affection?”

  “You wish.” Kugawa snorted.

  “If you want to insult me just remember I used to sleep with you.” Primo’s emotions bubbled up.

  “Nothing compared to the horror of waking up with you.” Kugawa put in.

  “Oh shit, I thought I smelt Kugawa on you man, but I wasn’t sure.” Severus put in.

  Everyone lifted their eyebrows at “oh shit” for Severus. It was not even in their vocabulary, but Paka had changed all that.

  “How could you?” Kugawa accusatory tone was directed at Primo. ”Laying it all in front of everybody.”

  “You forced me to.”

  Kugawa’s nonchalant attitude after the best night of his life made Primo angry and hurt. How could she ignore him and pretend like nothing ever happened? He honestly thought they had something. Only to find out he had been used.

  “Well, I guess there is nothing to be said here.” Kugawa disappointed look pierced everybody’s heart. She appeared tough because she worked with men, but she was very much a female when it came to her emotions.

  “Don’t you turn your back on me,” Primo said as Kugawa turned to leave. ”You used me.”

  “You live and learn.” Kugawa counteracted.

  “The problem with you is you never let a male take control.”

  “I have seen where that could take me, and I don’t want to go there.” That was the most heartfelt statement that Primo had ever heard from Kugawa.

  “I am not that male. I want to love you and take care of you.” Primo’s voice shook with emotion. When Kugawa wasn’t trying to be tough, she was soft, and Primo had glimpsed the potential she had to make any male happy if she wasn’t keeping her guard up and he wanted to be that male. He had caught her smiling at him when he was almost asleep like she cared. He stepped forward and engulfed her neck in his palm.

  “I am sorry Primo; I cannot be the female you desire. I enjoyed the time we spent together, but I just cannot find it within me to feel what you feel for me.” Kugawa placed her hand on his wrist and rubbed the back of his palm with her other hand.

  Primo dropped his hand, and Kugawa let go. Rejection and the look on her face before she turned around and left haunted Primo.

  “How many times have I stressed this? No fraternizing in the workplace.” Didac broke the silence in the room.

  “Come on, just look at her,” Primo whined in his guiltiness.

  “You can look without touching.” Esteve always an exhibition of decorum uttered his opinion.

  “She made it hard for me.” Primo continued stubbornly.

  “Just grow up, man. Beautiful women are everywhere; it doesn’t mean you have to sleep with every one of them. If you don’t make things right with Kugawa, I will be forced to make a decision on who stays with the team.” Didac tone was serious.

  “I understand boss, but I think I love her.” Primo looked regretful. “I hope things will get better between you and your mate. I meant what I said in the most sincere way.”

  “I know Primo.” Didac placed a reassuring hand on Primo.

  “That’s rough. “ Bernat focus looked absent.

  Didac cocked his eyebrows at Bernat and left the control room

  .

  Chapter 10

  Sweet Destiny. What was he going to do to bridge the rift he had caused between him and his new mate? Didac had planned the destiny of others without a problem, yet he didn’t know what do with his mate; who was just one female. His confidence deserted him every time he got close to her. It was driving him insane.

  He paced in his room. Overthinking.

  He was Didac; the most powerful man in the solar system. He could just carry her back to his living quarters and demand that she see the logic, but somehow he knew that wasn’t going to work.

  What was he to do?

  Without thinking, he exited his room and went to his sister’s. Annais was always the voice of reason for him and his people.

  Before Didac knocked, Annais opened her door to him.

  “How did you know I was at the door?” Didac smiled sadly at his sister because he already knew what she was going to say.

  “You forget that I am an Empath, Didac. Your feelings are all over the place; even the others can feel you.”

  “I am sorry to burden you with my feelings; I cannot help it. I am confused, Annais. What do you suggest I do?”

  “Apologize,” Annais stated flatly.

  “ Apologize? How do you know that is what she desires?”

  Annais laughed softly. Sometimes men were so dense.” She told you that is what she wanted, didn’t she?’

  “I thought-“

  “Don’t overthink. Take what she told you at face value.”

  “You know it is hard for me to apologize, I can only show her how sorry I am.”

  “I did not take you for a narcissist, brother.”

  “You wound me, Annais, you know I am not. Men and women view apologizing differently.”

  “I am aware of that. There is no ego in love, my brother. If you learn to apologize, the benefits will be greater for you and the people around you. Relationships are strengthened and weakened by the small actions we take and the communications we share with each other.”

  “Didac inhaled and watched his sister’s shining silver eyes. “I have been neglecting my duties as a mate and as a leader.” He said gratefully. “Thank you, Annais. What would I do without you?”

  “Absolutely nothing.” Annais smiled playfully.

  Didac smiled back.” Who was talking about ego a moment ago?”

  Annais smiled faded slowly, and she took Didac’s hand in hers. ”It is not easy to love an abused soul. It will be easy to lose her if you are not careful.”

  His sister was right. She was always right.

  “The good thing is that the elements of her upbringing did not destroy her very essence. She has a beautiful aura. It brims with vibrant vitality.” Annais continued. ”What she wants is to build a home with you among people who will love and care for her as much as she cares for them. She is not asking for much.”

  “I will endeavor to fulfill her desires in life the best I know how.” Didac squeezed the back of his neck to relieve the tension. ”Ones I don’t know how to explain this to you, but I know my life will not be complete without her. When I first saw her, and she looked in my eyes, I felt a deep soul attraction, and it was a sort of instant knowing of my destiny, a gush of exuberance coaxed inside of me.”

  “You are my brother; our connection is unyielding. I have felt what you have felt and understand more than anybody else. We have lived long lives and as an ambassador, I have been to so many planets. I have seen leaders rise and fall, and one thing I know is, no matter how strong and powerful a man becomes, it is nothing if you have no one to share it with.”

  The idea of immortality was fascinating to mere mortals, but not to him. Especially without a mate. It was lonely. He had to do something.

  ****

  “This has gone on for far too long, sis. Just forgive the man; he looks remorseful enough to me. His eyes say it all when he looks at you.” Paka sat across Vivian at the dining room of the spaceship.

  “That’s not enough; I want him to say it to me. If I give in, our relationship will be uncommunicative. I want a man who I can talk to and who can talk to me instead of getting angry or silent. I want to look in his eyes when he says it so I know he means it.” Vivian told Paka

  “Women.” Michael sighed. “Why can’t you all think like men? Life would be much easier. Men find it hard to apologize; it makes them look weak and incompetent. For him to admit he is wrong makes him feel diminished in your eyes. His actions speak louder than words.”

  “So his pride is more important than my feelings?” Vivian was horrified by Michael’s words.

  “Ouch, this may hurt sis, but yeah.”

  Paka smacked
Michael at the back of the head.” You are starting to resemble your father both in words and in action.”

  Michael’s playful nature deflated.” I am nothing like him.”

  “So where do you get this kind of thinking?” Paka asked him.

  “You wanted a man’s opinion, and I gave you one. Next time I am keeping my lips sealed.”

  “It’s okay Michael; I don’t have always to take your advice.” Vivian touched his arm.” I don’t believe what you say. This kind of behavior is self-taught; it has nothing to do with being a man. It is just another way to enforce bad behavior and patriarchy.”

  “He is not such a bad guy.” If Didac only knew that Michael was making pleas on his behalf.

  “I know, but this will not change my thoughts on this. I plan to stay strong and not relent.”

  “I have to go.” Paka pushed out her abruptly and headed towards Agostino when she spotted him across, sitting with his fellow aliens across the room.

  Before Vivian saw him, she felt him. It was weird, and she didn’t understand it. Okay, she did, the bond and memories they had shared made her aware. The closer he got to her, the more she felt him. Her heart raced faster. Ripped in two.

  A fragment of her heart craved him so bad, and she looked forward to seeing Didac and another part wanted to stay angry. She just sat there, trying real hard not to turn around and watch his graceful form.

  Oh, but she did.

  It was a given that she was going to look. He was a man, a hot-blooded man. A beautiful one at that.

  Didac placed his tray next to hers. ”Good morning Vivian.”

  She looked at the gloriously handsome silhouette of her husband and almost forgave him on the spot. She murmured an almost inaudible greeting back. And their gazes collided.

  This was good. Vivian thought. He hadn’t attempted to eat with her the whole week.

  Didac pulled out a chair next to her and sat.” Michael.”

  “Didac.” Michael’s laughter radiated in his eyes and he squared his shoulders like Didac. Didac’s serious expression caused Michael to bolt.” I’m just gonna go, ok.”