Rachel and Dan parted amicably in the parking lot beside their cars. He didn’t try to kiss her, and Rachel sensed that he probably wouldn’t ask her out again. The sparks simply weren’t there. And though she’d thought that was exactly what she wanted, she found herself curiously dissatisfied.
She turned the car radio on as she drove home, hoping to lift her spirits with a peppy song. The oldies channel she’d left the radio tuned to was broadcasting a song that had been one of Ray’s favorites. Rachel quickly turned it back off, deciding silence was better for now.
She was so engrossed in her own despondent thoughts that she didn’t notice the black sports car parked at her curb. But she definitely noticed the man who appeared silently at her side the moment she stepped out of her car.
Looking up at Seth’s glowering face, Rachel realized that if she’d been angry with him earlier, it was nothing compared to the way he was feeling at the moment.
Seth was furious.
* * *
Except for the overhead security lamps, it was dark outside Rachel’s house, and quiet in her comfortably middle-class neighborhood. The air was cool but not yet cold, the sky cloudless and star-studded. Rachel clutched her purse in front of her and cleared her throat, the sound seeming unnaturally loud in the silence. “Seth? What are you doing here?”
“I hear you had a date tonight. Did you have fun?”
“No,” she said irritably. “Not particularly.”
“Good,” he snapped.
She exhaled impatiently through her nose and moved to step around him. “If that’s all you wanted to say, I—”
“That is not all I wanted to say. And I’m sure you know it,” he added, catching her arm. “Damn it, Rachel, what kind of game are you playing with me? What were you trying to prove tonight? That you could hurt me? Well, congratulations. You did.”
She was startled. Of course she hadn’t been trying to hurt Seth! She hadn’t even realized she could.
“I’m not playing any games with you, Seth,” she protested weakly. “I simply went out to dinner.”
“Fine. If you’re ready to date again, you can damn well have dinner with me.”
“Maybe I’m not interested in going out with you. Hasn’t that even occurred to you, or are you too—”
He jerked her against him and smothered the remainder of the words beneath his mouth.
He kissed her until she was clinging to him, weak-kneed, breathless, and fully aware that there was no way she could continue to deny her interest in him.
“Now tell me why you won’t go out with me,” he murmured against her cheek, his arms still locked securely around her.
She fell back on the same excuses she’d given everyone else who’d asked. “You’re too young,” she whispered.
“I’m almost twenty-eight.”
“And I’ll soon be thirty-two.”
“Big deal.”
There was no doubt in her mind that her age meant nothing to him.
“We’re too different,” she said, instead.
“How?”
“You’re...impulsive and impetuous and unpredictable. I have routines and responsibilities and long-term plans.”
“Maybe you need to be a bit more impulsive and impetuous,” Seth suggested, his lips moving now against her ear. “And maybe I should give more thought to long-term planning. We could teach each other.”
“But I—”
He kissed her again, less forcefully this time, more enticingly. The tip of his tongue teased her lips, inviting her to play. It was an invitation she was helpless to resist at the moment. She parted her lips and helped him deepen the kiss.
“Rachel,” Seth groaned when he pulled back a long time later. He was gasping for breath, she was dazed and disoriented. Both of them were trembling. “Ah, Rachel, you’re driving me crazy. I’m not trying to pressure you into bed, or push you into a commitment neither of us is ready to make. I only want to be with you. I only want a chance with you. Say you’ll go out with me. Just dinner. Nothing more. I swear.”
Maybe it was because her mind was still spinning from his kisses. Maybe lack of oxygen had caused temporary brain damage. Whatever the cause, Rachel heard herself suddenly saying, “All right. Yes.”
Seth went still. He lifted his head, peering at her through the shadows. “Was that a yes?”
“Yes,” she repeated a bit more steadily. “But just dinner.”
“When?”
“I, er, Friday?”
“That long?”
“I hate to leave my grandmother again any sooner than that,” she explained.
“All right. Friday. I’ll pick you up.”
“I’ll meet you,” she said hastily, trying vainly to keep this dinner date on the same basis as the last one. Knowing it was impossible even as she made the effort.
“I’ll pick you up,” he repeated flatly.
She didn’t attempt further argument. Suddenly she needed to be inside, out of Seth’s arms, out of his sight. She couldn’t think when he was this close to her, when he was looking at her this way. She couldn’t make herself behave the way she knew she should.
She pushed against him, and he made no attempt to restrain her. She knew it was because he’d already accomplished what he wanted.
She ran into the house without looking back. She thought she heard him laughing softly at her haste, but she didn’t care. She just needed to be inside.
* * *
Seth had never prepared more carefully for a date in his life. He cleaned his car, inside and out, he pressed his pale blue shirt and navy slacks, he even took a damp washcloth to his shoes in lieu of the polish he didn’t own. He’d had his hair trimmed, though it still displayed that lifelong tendency to tumble onto his forehead. No amount of spit, spray or grease had ever conquered it. He’d given up trying sometime during his teens.
He thought about taking her flowers, then decided that was too clichéd. He considered chocolates, but that didn’t seem right, either. Maybe he shouldn’t take anything, he mused. He didn’t want to appear too eager. Though heaven knew he was.
He finally decided on flowers, then spent half an hour in a florist shop making his selection. The half-dozen peach roses he chose reminded him of Rachel—cool, classy and beautiful. On impulse, he bought a velvety purple African violet for Granny Fran and a cheery little basket of mixed flowers for Paige. Flowers didn’t seem quite right for Aaron, so he chose a brightly colored Mylar Garfield balloon with long, curly streamers cascading from the bottom.
He was standing on the doorstep of Rachel’s house, hands laden with gifts, when he decided he’d probably overdone it. He shouldn’t have brought anything, he thought ruefully. She’d probably suspect him of trying to manipulate her again, which, of course, he probably was.
Lord, he was as nervous as a kid on his first date. His palms were sweating, for crying out loud!
Rachel opened the door just as he was half-seriously considering bolting. Paige peeked out from behind her on the right, Aaron on the left. Seth suspected that Granny Fran wasn’t far away.
“You look very nice,” he said, all too aware of the children’s avid attention.
She looked wonderful. She wore a sleek tunic-and-slacks set in a cool melon color just a shade darker than the roses he’d brought her. The tunic was knit out of something soft and fuzzy, angora, maybe, or cashmere. He didn’t really know fabrics, but he knew that it would be all he could do to keep his hands off her. Unless, of course, she gave him a sign that she wanted them on her. In which case, he’d be happy to oblige. He had resolved that he would be on his best behavior this evening, that Rachel would have no cause to regret accepting his rather coercive invitation.
“Thank you,” Rachel murmured, as self-conscious as he in front of their giggling audience. “Um—?” She glanced curiously at the flowers and balloon he held.
“Oh.” He realized in some amazement that he was damned close to blushing. What on earth—?
&nb
sp; “These are for you,” he said, shoving the roses into her hands a bit too abruptly. “And Paige, this little basket is for you, and this balloon is yours, Aaron. The other flowers are for Granny Fran.”
“Flowers,” Paige said, studying her fragrant little basket with wide, shining eyes. “Mama, look! Seth gave me flowers. No one’s ever given me flowers before,” she added, slanting Seth a shy smile. “Thank you.”
“Cool balloon,” Aaron approved, lightly batting the bouncing bag of helium. “I like Garfield. Thanks, Seth.”
“The roses are lovely, Seth,” Rachel said more quietly. “Thank you.”
He cleared his throat. “You’re welcome,” he murmured. “All of you,” he added, dragging his gaze away from Rachel’s with an effort.
“Granny Fran! Seth brought you flowers! Come get ‘em!” Aaron called out, dashing toward the den with streamers floating behind him. “Look what I got.”
“Granny Fran’s in the den,” Rachel said. “I’ll go put these in water and join you there in a moment.”
Still clutching the African violet, Seth nodded and watched Rachel walk away with the graceful dignity that was so much a part of her. He didn’t move until Paige took him by the free hand and tugged him toward the den, impatient to show her great-grandmother her very first basket of flowers.
* * *
Dinner with Seth wasn’t nearly as comfortable as it had been with Dan, Rachel realized ruefully an hour or so later. There were several awkward pauses this time, and nervous glances and forced smiles. Maybe because this date was so momentous, despite her efforts to convince herself that it was no different than the last one.
She toyed with her food and glanced through her lashes at Seth, who sat directly across the tiny, candlelit table tucked into a secluded corner of the Italian restaurant he’d selected. She found her gaze caught and held by his.
“Well,” he said after another one of those awkward little pauses. “This is fun.”
His dry tone made her giggle.
Seth’s eyes lit up. “Was that a laugh?”
“That was a laugh,” Rachel admitted. “A little one.”
“Hey, that beats what I’ve gotten so far,” he declared cheerfully. “I was getting worried.”
“About what?”
He made a face. “I was afraid your boring date with the insurance agent was starting to seem like a wild time in comparison to this one.”
“I never said my date with Dan was boring,” Rachel corrected him.
“You didn’t have to. I could see it on your face when you got home.”
She shook her head in reproof at him, but refused to be led into a discussion of her outing with another man.
Instead, she decided it was time for her to start holding up her end of the evening’s conversation. “That was really nice of you to bring flowers and balloons for Granny Fran and the children. Paige was thrilled. Of course, you know she has a serious crush on you now.”
“No kidding.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Now that would be an age difference.”
But age was another topic Rachel would just as soon not discuss. She changed the subject again. “Were you and Cody in classes together at the university?”
“A few. He was a sophomore when I entered as a freshman, or at least, he should have been a sophomore. I’m not sure he had enough credit hours to actually qualify.”
Rachel shook her head and sighed. “College wasn’t Cody’s milieu, I’m afraid. He just couldn’t seem to get serious about grades and classwork.”
Seth looked down at his dinner and Rachel wondered if he was thinking back to some of the adventures he and Cody had shared. She suspected that she would be more comfortable not hearing about many of them.
“Cody’s changed quite a bit since I knew him back then,” Seth said, glancing up at her.
Rachel nodded. “I’m sure he has. He’s told you about the accident, I suppose.”
“What accident?” Seth asked, looking confused.
Rachel was surprised that he didn’t know, since Seth and Cody seemed to be such good friends. “It happened several months after Cody left college. The night of his twenty-first birthday.”
“Cody and I lost touch after he left school,” Seth explained. “We didn’t see each other again until just over a year ago, when we met by accident in a restaurant in Little Rock. I mentioned that I wasn’t happy working in my father’s law firm, and he suggested that Percy would be a good place to set up my own office. I decided to check it out. I liked what I saw when I visited, so six months ago, I quit the family business and started my own. I haven’t caught up yet on everything that has happened to Cody during the past ten years.”
Rachel was intrigued by the twist of his mouth when he mentioned his father’s law firm. Why had he been unhappy there? How had his father felt about Seth striking out on his own? Why didn’t he talk about his family more? But she filed those questions away for later—if ever.
“Cody was involved in a car accident the night of his twenty-first birthday,” she explained, still saddened by the grim memories of Cody’s accident and the painfully similar one that had taken her husband’s life. “He’d been drinking, I’m afraid.”
Seth nodded. “He was quite a drinker when I knew him.”
“He hasn’t touched alcohol since his twenty-first birthday. Not since he fell asleep at the wheel of his car and plowed into the side of a family’s minivan, flipping it into a ditch.”
“Oh, God. Was anyone hurt?”
“Yes. Everyone involved was injured—Cody, and a family of four, the children both under ten. Fortunately, they all recovered, though not without a great deal of treatment and therapy. Cody was charged with driving while intoxicated and heavily fined. There was even a possibility that he would spend time in jail. Since it was his first offense, he was given probation. The probation ended some time ago, of course, but as you noticed, he has never been quite the same.”
Seth looked thoughtful, obviously shaken by her tale. “He still seems to enjoy a good laugh.”
“In some ways, he’s even more the clown than he was before,” Rachel agreed. “But something is...different.”
“He and Jake are doing well with the club, aren’t they?”
“Very well,” Rachel agreed, smiling a little. “We’ve all been pleasantly surprised that he has stayed with it this long and made such a success of it. It’s the first job he’s held on to for more than a year since...well, ever.”
Seth winced. “I can identify with that one.”
Rachel swallowed. “Oh.” Was he warning her that he wasn’t one to stay around long, himself? That he was as likely to tire of his one-man office in Percy as he apparently had of his father’s law firm? Or was he only making conversation, as she was trying to do?
Seth finished his meal and pushed his empty plate away. He picked up his freshly refilled coffee cup and took a sip, watching her over the rim of it. When he spoke, he had changed the subject again. And this one was even more unsettling. “Tell me about Ray.”
Though she had finished only half her own meal, Rachel, too, pushed her plate away. “What do you want to know about him?”
“What was he like?”
“Steady,” she said quietly. “Dependable. Patient. Loving.”
“A real paragon,” Seth murmured, looking grim.
“He wasn’t perfect,” Rachel admitted. “Celia always accused him of lacking a certain excitement. And he was even more fond of schedules and routines and detailed, long-range planning than I am, if you can believe that. But I loved him.”
“I know you did. I’ve seen it in your face.”
She bit her lip. “You seem to be pretty good at that.”
“I’m learning.” He took another sip of the coffee. “He’d have been proud of you, Rachel. The way you’re running his business and raising his kids. He couldn’t have asked any more of you than what you’ve done.”
She was touched by the sincerity in the simple words.
“I hope he would have been proud. I’ve tried to do what I thought he would have wanted. We had so many plans, so many dreams...and they all seemed to be coming true. And then—”
She couldn’t finish the sentence. She knew it wasn’t necessary. She didn’t know how to explain that all those plans, all those dreams had died with Ray. And she didn’t for the life of her know how to get them back.
Seth gave her a moment, then said quietly, “You’re a very special woman, Rachel Carson Evans.”
She managed a shrug. “Not so special. I just do what I have to do.”
He shook his head and smiled faintly. “It’s more than that. A great deal more.”
To her relief, he changed the subject again, this time to something more innocuous, less personal. She couldn’t have said later exactly what they talked about for the next few minutes, though it seemed to center around movies and music and books—that sort of getting-to-know-you conversation.
Seth didn’t bring up any more sensitive topics, and she was grateful. She thought she’d revealed enough for one evening.
* * *
As he’d promised, Seth took her straight home after dinner. He didn’t ask to be invited inside. Nor did he press for anything more than a brief good-night kiss, which Rachel made no effort to resist.
“It’s not enough, but it’s a beginning,” Seth said when he lifted his head, touching her cheek with one fingertip. And then he smiled. “A very nice beginning.”
Or a very dangerous one, Rachel added mentally.
Chapter Eight
A cold front arrived with the beginning of October, and the trees blazed with autumn colors. The faintest scent of wood smoke seemed to lace the crisp air. Granny Fran mentioned that it was time for her to return home, but Rachel and the children persuaded her to stay for another week. Frances stayed, but only after making Rachel promise to take advantage of the available baby-sitting for the next week.
“I want you to stay because I enjoy being with you,” Rachel protested. “Not because I want to use you as a cook or a baby-sitter.”
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