by Tiana Laveen
Thomas was a very good man, according to Mama, and loved her very much. He wanted to marry her, even before he knew she was carrying his child. When he asked her father for her hand in marriage after Mama could no longer hide her pregnancy due to a growing belly, her father forbade it and demanded that Mama never see him again.
To ensure that Thomas didn’t come back, he threatened legal action – Grandpa had a lot of power and influence. Subsequently, Mama was sent away to a home far away to have the child and after the birth, the baby was put up for adoption. Mama wasn’t allowed to speak of it, but she knew it had been a baby girl.
Tapestry, you may think that she called you Tammy because she could not pronounce your actual name, or didn’t like it. Both reasons may be the truth, but there was more to it than that. Tapestry, Mama had named her daughter, her first born child, Tammy.
After some years, she searched for that child but couldn’t find her and she couldn’t find Thomas, either. She resolved that she had to move on with her life, and then she met our father. They got married and she had us.
So, please understand, that when you told us what Mama said to you about us, and about her seeing you as a daughter, it all made sense to me. It clicked. I have heard her call you Tammy for years. You became the replacement for her love child – a baby created from a forbidden love affair that Mama never could recover from, one she felt was stolen from her. You were the surrogate for the daughter she loved, but never knew.
Because my mama loved you and you took such good care of her, I must thank you. Contrary to what you believe, I loved my mother very much… but neither I nor Agnes were the children she really wanted. And that hurts. She always longed for Tammy.
And in the end, I suppose in her own way, she finally got her…
Wishing you well,
Angelica Robertson
Tapestry had believed she had no more tears to cry, and she’d sworn she was all tapped out. But that was the farthest thing from the truth.
“Baby, what’s wrong?!” Cain grabbed her. She started to shake and the tears flowed. The sheet of paper in her hands trembled as she fell to pieces. “You’re all emotional. Oh, shit. What’s today’s date? You start your period?”
She grimaced and shook herself out of his grip. He killed her with that sort of foolishness.
“No! Read this!” She tossed the letter at him. A few minutes later, he gingerly placed it on the bed between them, then shook his head.
“Wow… I don’t even know what to say. Ain’t that somethin’?”
“Yes… yes, it sure is.”
They sat quietly for a spell, then he stood and put on some pajama pants. The man moved leisurely about the bedroom, turned on the television, then disappeared to the kitchen. When he returned, he had two glasses of wine and a bowl of popcorn. The wine glasses had a whole strawberry in each, just like he’d done right before the first time they’d made love. Handing her the glass, he sat beside her, and she smiled at him.
“Tapestry, I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too.” She took a sip of her wine, then set it down on the nightstand.
“Here, have some popcorn.”
“Oh, Cain, you know I’m tryna watch what I eat a little better. You always drown it in a bunch uh butter!”
“Tapestry, come on… just a little. Besides, we both pigged out on the cruise. Come Monday, I’ll cheer your efforts on but right now, I just wanna relax with you.”
She shook her head at the man and dipped her hand in the bowl of popcorn. Her knuckles suddenly hit something hard.
“Cain, somethin’ is in this bowl.” She peered down into it. “Did you drop a spoon or somethin’ in here?” Her brow rose in confusion.
“I don’t think so.”
The man had a strange look on his face, and a smirk, too. She dug in the bowl a bit deeper, fiddled about and pulled out a black box. A ring box…
Her heart beat against her ribs like it was trying to play jazz music.
“Oh, Lord… Cain… what is this? What have you done?!” She busted out laughing, then squelched the noise coming from her mouth by covering her lips with her palm.
“Open it up,” he said sweetly as he pointed at it. “Go on, now.”
She looked at him for a long while, then flipped the box open with a shove of her thumb. There, in the middle of the box, sat a huge asscher cut diamond ring.
Oh my goodness, how many carats is this?! He must’ve spent every dollar he has! His royalties ain’t started rollin’ in yet… Lord, I’m shaking!
Cain took the ring out of the box and set it down. He gently took her hand and looked into her eyes.
“Tapestry, baby, join souls with me… be my mate for life.” He dropped down on one knee. “Songbird, will you marry me?”
“Yes… I will marry you, baby.”
Standing back up, he grabbed her off the bed and into his arms.
“I was gonna ask you this on the cruise… I had the ring with me and everything but we were drunk most nights so it didn’t seem as romantic.”
At this, she burst out laughing and hugged him tighter. She landed a kiss on his cheek and then his lips, purring when she felt his hands all over her breast.
“I think you know what’s about to go down…” He slicked his tongue over his lower lip, shoved his pajama pants half down, and exposed his big, beautiful erect cock. “Now that I’ve put a ring on it, why don’t you put your pussy on this?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I Can’t Stand the Rain
…A couple months later
The cosmic room was full of fellow musicians and musical big wigs from all around Louisiana, Texas, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida and Georgia. Some were artists, some were producers, some were songwriters, and there were even many CEOs. The red carpet had been rolled out—this was the event of events and this year, the awards ceremony was being held in Austin, Texas.
Cain, Tapestry, and his mama had flown out after receiving word that he’d gotten several award nominations. He couldn’t believe it—it was like a dream come true. Life was happening, and he was in the thick of it.
Cain had already secured two awards at the ceremony: ‘Best New Rhythm and Blues Artist’ and ‘Best Southern Guitarist’. Dressed in black slacks, a button down dark red shirt, a white choker with cross and bones details, and all of his fingers covered in delicate black rings, he stood at the podium to receive yet another award: “Best New Album.” His hair was flipped over to one side; he’d had it professionally done for he definitely wanted to look his best. This was going to be aired on several channels and people had been talking about it for months. It was a big damn deal.
Spinely and Alexander sat in the front row in the auditorium with big proud smiles on their faces, as if they were the parents to birth a nation known as Cain. He looked out into the sea of people, smiling at his beautiful fiancée in particular.
She looks so damn good… wow. And that’s all mine… ALL mine…
Tapestry looked pleased as pudding, with her sweet lovely self. Donning a red and black 1950s style polka dot dress, four-inch red heels, and a pillbox hat, she looked to die for.
Many things had changed in the last few months. The women had become more aggressive with trying to catch his eye, the money started rolling in deep, the calls for interviews were nonstop, and the tour schedule was being finalized. He’d even been featured on several big-time music blogs and magazines, touted as a mixture of Kirk Cobain and Jimi Hendrix, an honor he couldn’t even believe. Grabbing the microphone, he stood on that stage, crossed his ankles and leaned forward, ready to say some things about himself and give an acceptance speech.
“First and foremost, I wanna thank God for bringin’ me a mighty long way. I uh… I also wanna thank all of y’all that helped make this happen… the fans, you did this!” The swarm of people lit up with applause and whistles. “I want to thank my family and my fiancée, Tapestry LeBlanc, too. I’m just a boy from Sulphur, Louisiana. Most
folks, I gather, don’t even know where that’s at. I come from humble beginnings. I was blessed to have encouragin’ parents who always believed in my talents, and I had friends around me that cared. Bein’ in a place like Nawlins meant I was around brilliant musicians night ’nd day… people from all walks of life. Due to livin’ in a place with so much musical genius, it helped keep me goin’, it was encouraging. I want to thank each and every one of you who nominated me tonight and I… I cannot even fully express myself I am so moved by it all.” He held up one of the awards in the air and waved it. “Thank you all so much!” The crowd cheered as he returned back to his seat. The ceremony continued, and soon, it was time for the dinner party that followed immediately afterward.
The place was swarming with people, and the tables were beautifully decorated with miniature guitars and microphones. An ice swan was displayed in the middle of colorful fruits and a buffet with all the trimmings was presented, making the whole experience classy and surreal. Cain had never been to such a thing before, and was rather impressed with the live jazz band on the stage. He, Tapestry and his mother took their seats. They ate and laughed, carried on for a while, enjoying their time. Cain realized it was rather quiet, besides the chatter of those in the room while they dined and chatted. He looked at the stage where the musicians were playing, and noticed that they’d taken a break – had vacated their posts. His eyes narrowed on that stage, and he moved his napkin from his lap to the table, seized his trophies then made his way to it.
Grabbing the microphone in his hand, he tapped it a few times.
“Excuse me… is this thing on?” After a few seconds he was pleased that all heads were turned towards him and he’d promptly gained the attention of the crowd. “I been sittin’ here thinking tonight, and there are a few things I wanna say that I didn’t have time to really get into earlier during the ceremony. I hope y’all don’t mind, would that be alright?” he smiled. The crowd cheered and urged him on. “Alright then, that’s mighty kind of you. Well, I’m one of the lucky ones, you know? Funny thing though, this sudden climb to fame can be deceiving. See, you never know the battles somebody has, or what it took for dem to go from the valley to the top of the mountain.”
Many heads bowed in agreement.
“This is like uh dream come true… ’cause ain’t no way I’m even ’sposed to be here, talkin’ to y’all. They say comedians are the saddest people on Earth, and that musicians who sing love songs are heartbroken. I ’spose that is true for many. I can only speak for myself though.”
He placed his hand against his heart and took a deep breath, then continued.
“See, I ain’t ashamed of it no more, but a lot of my songs, even the happy ones, come from a dark place. I want my story out there, so I can help some of these young folks out here strugglin’ wit’ no voice. I can be yo’ voice, man… ’cause I struggled, too. I have what is known as chronic depression.”
He saw a few eyes widen. “I’m not trying to be a downer during dinner, but this is important. I want my fans to really know what I’ve been through and understand that if I can make it out of a bad situation, so can they. Most people with this problem go their whole lives undiagnosed. They end up dead or in some institution, or they try ’nd cope by harmin’ themselves in the long run. In the past, it has caused me to alienate myself and to act out… do self-destructive things. Now, I was always a loner, but this made it all the worse. No matter how damn good I was at singin’ and playin’ the guitar, hell, even carpentry work, sometimes I still didn’t feel good enough. Rather than just admit that and tryna get to the bottom of it, I’d go out and get drunk—try to be the life of the party.
“Or I’d go sleep wit’ a bunch of women, play wit’ their hearts… make ’em think it was just me and them against the world when really, I was just usin’ them and they were in a long line of many. Not because I didn’t respect ’em, but because I didn’t respect myself. It took me a long ass time, pardon me, a long time…” He put his hand up, trying to watch his language. “To get to this point, to stop lyin’ to myself and to other people. Music keeps savin’ my life.”
He smiled sadly as he looked out into the crowd of people. Folks appeared to be holding onto his every word, their meals now an afterthought. It wasn’t like him to be so open, so forthcoming, but he felt it deep in his soul—a need to purge, to truly let his friends and everyone else know the past that he was leaving behind.
“To stop bein’ indolent when things got too hard… draggin’ my feet… that was a challenge, too. Everybody in this room is created for greatness. God don’t make no junk, but we can choose if we wanna act like trash or class. The choice is ultimately ours.”
More applause broke out. “My music is my voice. I sing about love, fun times, bad times and the times to come. I sing about sex—everything from makin’ love to a beautiful woman that you’d die for to that very first kiss with a stranger in the rain. I sing about death, heartache, and alcohol, too. I sing about it all… ’cause I know about it all. It’s my truth.”
He tapped his chest with his fingertips and smiled at Tapestry as she blew him a kiss.
“And I sing about my mama… ’cause I’m a mama’s boy and proud of it.” A few chuckles came from the crowd. Tapestry grabbed his mother’s hand and squeezed it. Mama sat there, her face half covered with a napkin, looking proud. “My mama used to tell me, ‘Cain, with God, all things are possible.’ I didn’t believe her, ’cause I saw good folks who went to church every Sunday strugglin’ just to put food on the table while some other guy that was a murderer of some child would get a slap on the wrist and a measly fine. I didn’t believe ’er, ’cause I saw a homeless man who used to be a doctor, out on the street gettin’ spit on by folks when he’d ask for somethin’ to eat… all ’cause he had an emotional breakdown and nobody cared enough to try ’nd get him some help.
“I didn’t believe ’er, ’cause I was dyin’ inside, see? And nobody knew it but me. I know God… I see God when I look in the mirror, and I see God when I look at all of you.” He pointed out into the audience. “But God brought me back from the grave… said he wasn’t through with me yet.” He blinked a tear away. “I took a bunch of pills, ya see, washed it all down wit’ more alcohol than you can imagine, and I laid my ass on the bed, ready to meet my Maker. This happened a little over seven years ago. I wasn’t supposed to wake up, folks… I took enough to knock out three horses, I guarantee! But I did wake up. I was sick as a dog… but I was alive.”
He could hear his mother sniffling, and it broke his heart. He’d never told her that he’d tried to take his own life, but it needed to be said.
“All ’cause I couldn’t get over that hump… couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I got help though, and my music improved. My outlook on life improved too and then I was mentally and emotionally healthy enough to be in a relationship with a woman who was deservin’ of me and I of her. I could finally give somebody not just a part of me, but all of me… and she’s sittin’ right at that table with my mama, makin’ me weak at the knees. I can’t even look at ’er for more than five seconds without smilin’.”
Many people out in the crowd ohhhed and awwwed. Some eyes landing on Tapestry as she blushed right before his eyes.
“She’s beautiful. She’s fair and just. She knows how to treat folks… Life ain’t fair though, is it baby?” She shook her head.
“You got all these people out here in this audience, here to celebrate music! To rejoice in sound. We’re not here to rejoice in hairstyles… we’re not here to rejoice in fashion, cars, shoe size, or weight…” He glared at Mr. Alexander who sat up front with a beverage in his hand, and watched the man’s smile slowly fade. “I want y’all to do me a favor. Come up here, baby!”
The crowd cheered, all with the exception of Mr. Alexander, when Tapestry popped up and joined him on the stage.
“I promise to not take much more of ya time, folks, but this is my baby… Tapestry LeBlanc.” More cheers en
sued.
“We’re gettin’ married soon. I think I’m more excited about it than she is.” There was a burst of laughter from the mob as he smiled. “But anyway, Tapestry, my friends, is music in the flesh. She’s the reason why Mr. Spinely,” he said, pointing at the man who sat next to Alexander, “decided to lasso me in, take a chance on me. I humbly thank that man for doin’ that for me, ’specially when there are so many talented folks in the world.”
Mr. Spinely smiled and nodded, his eyes twinkling under the lights.
“But see, sometimes, there’s a wizard behind the curtain. See, I thought I was makin’ a deal with Mr. Spinely, who is a very good man, but he was only the figurehead.”
Murmurs began in the audience and Spinely’s smile faded now, too.
“But, I’d made a deal wit’ the Devil. See, I know good music, and the Devil does too, but the Devil don’t give a flyin’ you know what about talent. He just wanna crush the spirits of those behind the golden voices ’cause it’s fun for him. He always uses the weakest link to do this… the person the most easily to succumb to actin’ evil and selfish. The guy most likely to run after dubs instead of love. Oftentimes, that guy will think he is the biggest, but that’s just an illusion. He is the smallest, ’cause he ain’t got no vision and he let the Devil try ’nd use him… and he liked it.”
He glowered at Mr. Alexander, hating him with every fiber of his being.
“Now, I need an honest opinion, and you can be truthful with me. I want each and every one of you in here to hear this woman sing and tell me what you think.”
He thrust the microphone in Tapestry’s hands and the woman’s eyes bulged. She looked downright shocked, confused. “Go on… sing, songbird. Show these good folks what you got.”