“I see,” Aerie said.
“All responsibilities have limitations in this world. All labels have their limits, and all causes have an end.”
Aerie contemplated his response for a moment. “That would mean other decisions, too. Like hiding the truth from people. Or joining a revolution.”
“Yes,” he said. “Legality can change and laws are subject to the constraints of human activity. Morality is, by very definition, universal.”
“Aerie.”
Aerie turned to see Emery had rejoined her. “Come on with me,” Emery said, pulling Aerie’s arm. “I have an assignment for us.”
Aerie turned back to Don. “Thank you for your time. I’ll remember what you said.” She reached out and shook his hand.
“You’re welcome.” He gestured to the crowd behind him. “I’ve got to help the others now myself. Go with God, Miss Rearden.”
“Aerie,” she called back, correcting him as she followed in step behind Emery. “Please, just call me Aerie.”
♦♦♦♦
“What is this place?” Aerie asked, stepping into the Biovid.
“Some of the Ecclesia call it ‘Eden,’” Emery replied with a smile, barely visible with her oxygen mask on. “But the technical name for it now is the Biovid.”
“Eden?”
“It’s from the Bible, an old collection of books known as the Word of God.” Emery glanced around. “God created the world and Eden was the special place, the paradise garden in which he placed man and woman.”
“It sounds familiar,” Aerie said. “I’ve heard of it before.” She thought back to her childhood, when her mother would plant new seeds in her own small garden. She had called her garden Eden, too!
“There are many theologians and philosophers who say that deep in the heart of mankind, we are all still searching for Eden,” Emery told her, interrupting Aerie’s reminiscence. “I have no qualms in agreeing with them.”
Emery gestured toward the far end. “There’s something coming up from the starboard midsection,” she said. “Let’s head in that direction.”
“Right.” Aerie adjusted her own mask, frowning as she tugged back some stray strands of hair stuck to the visor. “What are we doing in here again?”
“We’re looking for a missile that might have breached the ship.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?” Aerie asked.
“That’s why we have the oxygen masks, and I have the emergency kit with me,” Emery said, indicating a small pack she wore on her back. “And that’s also why I didn’t ask for Exton’s permission for you to come in here.”
“He wouldn’t like it?” Aerie asked. “But he knows I love plants and gardening.”
“He told me not to let you come in here for a bit yet. Something to do with your tree, if I understood him correctly.”
“Oh.”
Emery stopped and turned back to Aerie. “Stay close to me. Believe me, I’m sure Exton would be furious with me for allowing you in here. But the Biovid was especially designed for my mother, and since she is no longer here—”
“It’s rightfully yours?” Aerie finished with a grin. “Just like the ship is Exton’s?”
“That’s right.”
The loving pride on Emery’s face said it all. She was this place’s rightful mother, Aerie thought.
“I’m surprised you don’t have a permanent job working in here,” Aerie said. “If it was me, I don’t think I would ever leave this place. This is the most wonderful place in the whole ship.”
“I love this place,” Emery admitted. “But most of the care it is given is automated. I can’t say the same for my brother or Tyler. Being the Coordinating Director allowed me to have more oversight where they’re concerned.”
Aerie nodded in agreement. “And it gives you permission to do what you want in here, I imagine.”
“Of course. I assign myself a lot of inspections here, even though it technically wouldn’t be needed otherwise.” Emery’s eye gleamed. “That’s part of the reason why, if it’s been breached, we’re going to have a serious issue.”
“What happened?”
“According to the notes I got from one of the analysts, the sensor went off signaling a breach. It was a smaller missile, so we should have enough time to prevent any major damage.”
“What kind of missile was it?” Aerie asked.
“An FTK-Redbird.”
“A Redbird?” Aerie repeated. She faltered behind Emery.
“What is it?”
She hesitated for a moment. Should I even say it? Aerie wondered. They might want to know more, and I … I can’t deal with the possibility of Exton rejecting me.
Aerie sighed. Realizing Emery was looking at her with concern, she gave in. “That was my father’s nickname for my mother,” Aerie said. “That’s all.”
“Is the Rearden family active in the military?” Emery asked. “I saw some reports when we looked up your unit, but I don’t recall any military record.”
Brock’s father was … a dentist? Doctor? I can’t remember.
Aerie shrugged. “It probably doesn’t matter. I just … you know, miss her. I miss her more being here than I ever have when I was in New Hope.”
“From the sound of it, she would have liked this place,” Emery said. “You said she liked plants and animals.”
“She did,” Aerie said. “Maybe that’s why.”
Emery came up beside her and put her hand on her shoulder. “Here’s what I think. I think you miss her more now because you’re all alone here, but you’ve always had her in your heart. And here, you’re allowed to become more like her without getting ridiculed or stigmatized for it.”
Aerie felt her nose prickle with unshed tears. “I won’t argue with that,” she finally replied a moment later.
“Exton said that you wanted to go into the military. Is that true?”
“I did,” Aerie told her. “Now I know I would have made a bad solider. Maybe if I was in the Air Force. My brothers are pilots.”
“It does seem like it would be easier to kill someone if you don’t actually have to aim and shoot,” Emery said. “And you do seem to know your tech.”
“I do,” Aerie said. “But Exton was right about me. I’m not cut out for military service.” She grinned. “Don’t worry though; I haven’t admitted that to him.”
“I love my brother,” Emery said. “But he has his flaws.” She studied Aerie for a moment. “You don’t seem to mind them so much.”
“It makes it easier that I enjoy his company,” Aerie admitted as they continued forward.
“You care for him.” Her words were succinct, but the tone carried a great deal of understanding and acceptance.
“Yes, I do.” Aerie blushed, thinking of the time she spent with Exton in the hangar earlier. “I really do. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
Emery raised her eyebrows. “Never?”
“Well, there was a boy I had a crush on,” she admitted, thinking of Brock, “but what I felt for him was nothing compared to how I feel now.”
Since she had been gone, she was better able to see that Brock had been too bound by duty and expectations of others, including her father’s. She would never be able to tell if he liked her because of her, or because of her father. Aerie shuddered at the thought.
“You know,” Emery said slowly, “when Exton first told me about you, I was hesitant. I was still hopeful, but I was more hesitant. It hasn’t been long since you met him, but I do believe love happens in a timeline all its own.” She smiled over at Aerie. “I’m glad I can stop worrying so much.”
Instant guilt and shame sent turmoil running through Aerie.
“Of course, I still have to worry some,” Emery continued, oblivious to Aerie’s discomfort. “Once Papa was killed, Exton changed drastically. It was almost like he woke up the next morning and he was a new person.”
“I know he was deeply affected by his loss,” Aerie agreed.
; “Traumatized doesn’t begin to cover it,” Emery said, shaking her head. “He saw it happen. He went home unexpectedly and found Papa arguing with St. Cloud over the Paradise—”
“St. Cloud?” Aerie asked. “General St. Cloud?” My father was there?
“Yes.” Emery frowned. “He was the one who killed Papa when he refused to give him the Paradise.”
Aerie stopped and stumbled. She let herself fumble with her mask as she tried to absorb the new information.
My father killed Exton and Emery’s father? What?!
“I wasn’t there, but Exton saw the whole thing,” Emery said. “He only told me about it once, but I’ll never forget the look on his face when he talked about it.”
Aerie crumbled inside her mask, pressing her hands into her head as it began to ache along with her heart. She felt almost like she had trouble breathing.
It is possible, Aerie admitted to herself. Her father wasn’t Osgood’s Lieutenant Commander-in-Chief for nothing, after all.
Ten years ago, he would have been a rising General in position for a Command, she thought. Aerie could easily see him taking on an execution for a promotion.
This is awful, Aerie thought. She’d never imagined her father actually killing someone until that moment. Maybe because it was such a personal, calculated action, to take the life of a person looking you in the eye and measuring you up. She shuddered again, thinking of what Don had told her earlier.
Was Exton and Emery’s father worth killing?
She hesitated. The General did take his work seriously. He would have done it under orders.
Was it possible there was a mistake?
“Are you okay?” Emery asked.
“Yes. Just tripped,” Aerie murmured distractedly. “Trying to fix the mask.”
“Oh, okay. Let me know if you need help,” Emery said.
“It’s fine.” Aerie stood up. “So that’s why you guys hate St. Cloud more than Osgood?”
“It is on a more personal level when it comes to St. Cloud,” Emery admitted. “It’s easy to think the URS is just an evil nation or an enemy that needs to be destroyed and wiped out. But the truth is, a lot of them are just misguided and brainwashed people, with cares and concerns of their own. I actually have a lot of compassion for them, sometimes. I was so close to being among them.”
Emery’s compassion for her enemy was what finally made Aerie shake her head. “Why are you telling me all this?”
“It’s the truth.”
“I suppose.” Aerie sighed. “I don’t always see why it matters.”
“You don’t believe me about my father and Exton stealing the ship, do you?”
“I’ve seen the MENACE ships,” Aerie told her. “And, while it is still a lot to take in, I have to wonder if there was a misunderstanding or something.”
“My father is still dead,” she told her flatly. “That is a truth that you cannot deny.”
Aerie flinched. “But what if his killer didn’t mean to do it?”
“Exton saw the exchange, Aerie. He was only fourteen, but he knew what was happening. Our mother explained to us what happened. We didn’t know that the URS had ordered a starship, and that our father was the lead engineer. You remember what life is like at that age.”
“There’s a lot of career orientation and basic training to complete.” Aerie nodded.
There was an inescapable sadness in Emery’s voice as she added, “I feel sorry for my peers, Aerie. But I do not waste my compassion on St. Cloud and his ilk.”
“What if he was pressured to do it? Or if he was ordered to do it? There are problems with society still, even though the state has worked to end its problems. And you hate the URS, but you don’t hate the individual people in it. If the individual does not take responsibility for himself, why would the rest of society?” Aerie paused. “You don’t hate me, do you?”
“Of course not.” Emery sighed. “But it is different.”
“How so?”
She thought about it a moment. “Let me show you,” she said.
Emery turned and came over to her. She put her pack on the ground and unzipped it. Aerie peeked over, trying to see what she had. But she knew she never expected to be handed a small gun.
“Here,” Emery said. “Shoot me.”
She took a step back, as though the shock of Emery’s statement had physically hit her. “What?” Aerie looked at her incredulously.
“Shoot me.” Emery watched her. “You’re from the URS. You’re a guest here, not a refugee, and you haven’t committed yourself to the Ecclesia. You’re still an active comrade from the URS.”
“So?” Aerie shook her head. “That doesn’t have to do with anything.”
“Sure it does. If you shoot me, right now, you’ll be taking down one of Captain Chainsword’s highest-ranking associates.” Emery held steady. “You’d be commended, publicly, since it’s the first time someone from the URS has managed to get onboard—believe me, they’ve tried from time to time—and the first one to make a significant kill.
“If you shoot me now,” Emery said, “you’ll also be able to use my clearance card”—she waved it around in front of Aerie’s gaze—“to hack an escape pod and land down on Earth somewhere, though it would still take a while to get there. We’re more than a day out from Earth.”
Emery crossed her arms over her chest. “You might even be able to shoot Exton while you’re at it. He’d never suspect you now.”
Aerie continued to stare mindlessly at the gun in her hand. It had been awhile since she’d held a weapon. Long enough that it felt strange and unusual, like it didn’t belong in her life anymore.
She fit the gun in her hand, thinking through what Emery was saying.
Emery is right. I would be commended, publically. I would be honored—maybe even accepted by my unit!
At her thoughts, Aerie shook her head. It was the first time in several days she had even thought about how much she had wanted the acceptance of her unit.
It means nothing to me now, she realized. If they can’t accept me the way Exton and Emery have—even provisionally—then they likely never wanted to in the first place.
Maybe that was why my mother tried so hard to love me, Aerie thought. She knew no one else in the unit would.
Her eyes watered as she handed Emery back the gun. “No.”
Emery smirked. “I didn’t think you would do it,” she said.
“I am not weak,” Aerie snapped, watching as Emery placed the gun back in her pack.
“You’re not weak for valuing life,” Emery told her softly. She reached out and gave her a warm hug. “You couldn’t be weak, besides. Not if you’re going to marry my brother one day.”
“Huh?” Aerie jumped and turned red.
“Sorry.” Emery laughed. “I couldn’t resist,” she said. “He teased me and Tyler relentlessly when we were dating.”
“Oh.” Aerie shrugged and tried to laugh. Then she thought about what Emery had told her. “I don’t think he’ll want to marry me,” Aerie muttered.
“What?” Emery frowned. “That’s not like you, to think like that.”
Enough is enough, Aerie thought. I have to tell them.
“The truth is,” Aerie said, “I’ve been lying.”
It was Emery’s turn to stare at her, mindlessly horrified. “What?”
“I’ve been lying,” Aerie choked, “about who I am.” She shook her head. “My last name isn’t Rearden. It’s St. Cloud.” She glanced up at Emery tentatively. “I’m General St. Cloud’s youngest charge.”
For the longest, quietest moment of Aerie’s life, Emery just stared at her.
She couldn’t stand it. She had to explain.
“I’m so sorry I had to lie,” Aerie told her. “When I woke up onboard the ship, I didn’t know about the Ecclesia or this place, or you or Exton. I thought you would torture me or kill me. I didn’t want to add incentive by telling you I was St. Cloud’s daughter.”
Emery slumped o
nto her knees. “I need a moment,” she said.
Aerie didn’t hear her. “I didn’t know I would love you and Exton more than my own unit. You’re like my older sister, only my older sister is terrible—”
“You’re really St. Cloud’s daughter?” Emery shook her head. “I should have known!” She stood up. “I should have known. I knew from the start there was something off about you and your records and your stories.” She threw up her hands. “And you lied to me, directly, about having ties to the St. Cloud family.”
“I misled you,” Aerie corrected automatically, before she realized that made it sound worse.
If that is even possible.
“I can’t believe this,” Emery hissed. “You lied to me, and you lied to my brother!”
“Everything else was real,” Aerie insisted. “I just lied about my name.”
“You let us think you were unimportant to the URS,” Emery snapped. “Don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, one of the reasons we were attacked today was because you’re here?!”
Aerie stilled. “No, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“I have to tell Exton,” Emery said. “He’s going to be devastated.”
“I’m sorry,” Aerie cried. “I’m so sorry. If I could change it, I would. I don’t even like being his daughter! He doesn’t even call me that, you know. He hasn’t really spent any time with me or my family since my mother died.”
“Well, I’m so sorry for you!” Emery yelled angrily. “It must be just absolutely terrible to be you right now.”
Aerie stepped back, holding up her hands in bitter defeat. “I’m sorry,” she reiterated.
“We trusted you, Aerie!” Emery shook her head. “Even if not completely, we liked you.”
“I’m sorry. I know I’ve messed this up.” She shook her head. “I gotta go.” She turned around and fled, moving deeper into the heart of the Biovid.
“Hey, come back! You’re not allowed in here,” Emery called after her.
But the more Emery called, the faster Aerie ran. She barely paid attention to where she was going, until her eyes were so watery she gave up entirely.
The Heights of Perdition (The Divine Space Pirates Book 1) Page 23