by Ruth Silver
Aberrant
by
Ruth Silver
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
About the Author
www.lazydaypub.com
Aberrant
ISBN-13-978-1-61258-070-8
ISBN-10-1-61258-070-X
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Copyright © 2013 Ruth Silver
Cover art by Anthony Walsh
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, any events or locales is purely coincidental. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission from the publisher LazyDay, with the exception of quotes used in reviews and critical articles.
Dedication
To my parents that have sacrificed much, supported unconditionally and loved without limit. Thank you.
PROLOGUE
My fingers gripped the metal chain as my feet kicked higher. "Faster!" I laughed with excitement as I felt the wind against my face and could see the entire town of Genesis in my view as I coasted the sky. I had never flown so high on the swings. Joshua Warren, my new best friend from school, seemed eager to push me as I heard the metal creak and the bars sway from the force. Neither of us cared, we were having too much fun.
My legs kicked like the force of a storm as I swung higher into the air. I floated with the clouds before grazing the sand and back up again to the heavens. The swing set squeaked and shifted slightly off the ground. Excitement bubbled within me and poured out as Joshua continued pushing me. "Do you want a turn?" I laughed, my head thrown back, screaming up at the sun in pure glory. I didn't really mean it, but had been taught it was polite to share.
"Olivia!" I heard my mother's voice and glanced around the park. Joshua's hands immediately dropped to his side. My feet grazed the ground as I slowly stood, swaying slightly from dizziness.
"Over here!" I called waving back, wondering what was going on. My mother looked terrified. I hadn't told her where I was, but most afternoons she worked. Her cheeks had drained of color. Her eyes, usually bright and filled with wonder, glistened with tears. She rushed toward me and threw her arms around my tiny frame. She buried her face in my neck, and I felt her shudder. My neck felt wet as I tried to pull back from her tight grasp. "Mom?" My own voice caught in my throat, and I felt my stomach somersault. "What is it?" I asked afraid to know, yet at the same moment desperately wanting an answer.
"Oh, darling," she purred against my neck, her fingers holding the back of my head. I couldn't fathom what could be so awful. From a distance I could see a rising plume of smoke. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm so sorry," she told me, incapable of saying the words aloud.
I opened my mouth, finding it nearly impossible to ask. I choked the words out in a sob, "Is it Dad?" His office was in the direction of the towering smoke.
She nodded ever so faintly, her face red and stained with tears as she pulled me tightly to her chest again. "I'm so sorry, Olive." I didn't understand how he could be here one minute and gone the next. Why would he leave me? My legs gave out as I fell to the ground in a heap. Every ounce of pain poured out as I struggled to breathe. Unable to walk or move from the little bit of earth beneath me, my mother carried me home. I sobbed into her shoulder the entire three blocks as I felt her breath catch every so often.
She let me sleep in her bed that night as the tears refused to slow.
As dawn broke, I stayed in the house watching from the sofa as my mother would come and go making arrangements for the funeral. I could see down the road, only as far as the oaks, and every time she'd turn the corner and disappear, I'd wonder if she would be gone forever. I had no idea what would happen to me if she did. Children weren't parentless in Genesis. I did not want to imagine being forced from my home and given to a new family, one I didn't know.
On the third day, my mother dressed me all in black from a gown delivered by the Keepers. "Mom?" My voice barely reached her ears, and she glanced at me once with red-rimmed eyes before disappearing into her bedroom.
For never having known anyone to die, I had no idea what to expect. The doorbell sounded and though we hardly ever had visitors, I approached without hesitation, throwing the door open. Joshua stood with his mother and father just beyond the porch.
"We're very sorry for your loss," his mother told me. They all stood wearing the same deep shade of black. I opened my mouth to ask what it meant, but the words never came. "Is your mother ready?"
"Ready for what?" I asked conflicted. No one was ready for my father to die, if that was what she'd meant. I shook my head once before glancing down the hall seeing her emerge in a black dress.
"Yes, I am," my mother insisted as she slipped on her shoes by the door. "Thank you," she told them curtly. I didn't understand what they were doing here or why my mother was thanking them. My eyes glanced at Joshua and then at my mother. Before I could so much as ask, I felt her hand grab my arm, pushing me out the door. "It's time to say goodbye." At first I thought she meant to Joshua until I felt her reach down and grip my hand as we walked as a group further towards the south side of town.
It didn't take long for me to realize where we were heading – the cemetery filled with old graves and rotting corpses. I didn't want to go. I didn't want this to be the end. My father deserved better.
I swallowed back the tears, unwilling to let Joshua or anyone else see me grieve. No one else shared in the pain I felt. Losing a parent was devastating. As we approached the gravesite, the closed wooden casket sat just above the ground and my knees locked in place. Joshua and his family walked to the opposite side as a few others gathered around. Thunder rumbled overhead as gray clouds filled the sky. The world was in mourning.
"Gavin Parker will always be remembered as a fallen hero," Governor Craynor read the words from a crinkled half-torn piece of paper. I wondered who wrote it. "In a tragic accident, we find solace in those he saved from smoke and flames."
I squeezed my eyes, wanting to open them and willing him to be here again. With every wish and breath, nothing changed. The distant thunder turned to rain as I shivered and pulled my arms tightly around myself. My eyes glanced up from the wooden box to Joshua standing just on the other side. For a boy I hardly knew, I didn't understand why he was here.
"Would anyone else like to say a few words?" Governor Craynor asked as his eyes landed on my mother during the funeral. A sob escaped her lips. She made no attempt to move any closer and shook her head just the slightest bit, unable to speak. "Very well," he continued, "Gavin will be remembered for his strength, his spirit and everlasting support to our community. If he were here today, he would tell you 'be brave, stay strong.' Even in great times of struggle, he put others before himself. It is with great sadness that his selflessness is what brings us here today, as we lay to rest Gavin Parker."
The rain pelted my skin as we stood among the earth, watching as they lowered his coffin to the ground. It didn't feel like goodbye. T
here were no 'I love you' or last kisses exchanged. I should have known that, but when you're five, it's hard to know what other people think and feel.
I cried the entire time his body was lowered down. My tears mixed with rain, and as they slid down my face, I made no attempt to wipe the pain and agony I felt at losing my father. I shivered from the cool autumn air and rain but didn't feel anything but loss.
Neighbors and friends tossed dirt onto the coffin, including my own mother. I couldn't take it anymore. "I hate you!" I screamed out of anger. I was angry at my father for dying and even angrier at my mother for not protecting me from the pain. My body flopped onto the ground just inches from the hole where his coffin rested beneath the soil.
I didn't care about the black dress I wore or the fact I was now covered in mud, sobbing as other members in our town began gaping at me.
I was a child who had lost her father. No words or condolences would fix that and sadly no one seemed to try. My own mother – broken and shocked from my words and the loss of her husband – stood out in the freezing rain, eyes transfixed on the ground. She didn't move to get me, didn't dare look at me as I wished for the briefest of moments it had been me lying in that grave.
Someone’s touch jolted me upright. "Don't!" I screamed. I took off running far from the gravesite. My feet slipped on mud, but I regained my traction as I found a large oak to shelter me from the wrath of the storm.
My body collapsed, my back against the stump as I pulled my knees to my chest. I shivered and wailed, unable to stop my tears. My father was gone. It was a fact I would have to face. It wasn't fair.
I don't know how much time passed before I heard his voice, the softest whisper against the sound of steady rain and thunder.
"I'm sorry, Olive." I had buried my face in my legs, wrapped my arms tight around myself trying to keep warm. I was shivering. Slowly I eased my head, sniffling as Joshua stood above me. His own eyes were red and I wondered why he was upset. He hadn't lost anyone. I didn't answer him. My throat was raw from screaming and the tears just kept coming harder and faster. "Can I sit with you?" he asked. Before I opened my mouth to answer, he sat down beside me and his shoulder brushed against mine. I felt the strangest spark as he stared at me, eyes filled with hope. He didn't have to say a word because I understood. He was there for me.
CHAPTER 1
Lying on my stomach beneath the tall oak tree, the branches covered the morning sun as I glanced behind me at Joshua. He had made himself content, lying with his head in the small of my back. I nearly laughed as he situated himself as if it was completely normal and something we usually did. It wasn’t.
“Comfortable?” I laughed, looking back as his legs stretched out just past the shade, his feet in the sun. My fingers moved through the blades of grass, playing with them as I spoke.
“I am, actually.” He nodded and though I couldn’t see his movements I could feel them. It was strange and oddly calming.
“I’m not ready for today,” I whispered, afraid someone else might overhear my fear. I knew no one else was nearby, but I still found it hard to voice.
He reached for my hand, finding my fingers and giving a tentative squeeze. “I don’t think any of us are,” he confessed. “I keep thinking how everything is about to change for us.” He paused before casting a glance at me. I could feel him staring, even as I avoided making eye contact. "We could always refuse the match."
I scoffed at the idea, "And die in the Gravelands?" I shook my head once. "No thanks." I wasn't looking forward to getting married. It was the requirement of the government for those who turned eighteen.
Joshua moved to sit up. Immediately, I felt the loss of his body’s warmth against mine. "Maybe it won't be such a terrible waste," he suggested. "There must be a few guys you wouldn't mind being matched with?" Sixteen boys and sixteen girls were part of the marriage ceremony: our entire graduating class.
"Right," I sighed thinking it over. I knew the boys in our class, but I couldn’t imagine seeing any of them every day, let alone sharing a home with one of them. It was preposterous.
"You're telling me you've never thought about today?" Josh asked with mild curiosity. We've always known the day would come, that our match would be one of the sixteen from our school. It would be a lie to tell him I never wondered who I'd marry. Joshua smiled brightly. "I always imagined you'd be my match."
"Really?" I felt the slightest bit of warmth spread across my cheeks that he would want to spend the rest of his life with me.
He laughed nudging my arm. "No." I tried not to hide the embarrassment coloring my face as I stared down at the grass. "Come on, wouldn't that be weird?" Joshua smiled at me. "We're best friends. It's not natural."
I bit down hard on my bottom lip to keep from crying. I didn't quite understand what I felt, but I needed to keep my emotions from surfacing. Ignoring Joshua beside me, I glanced up from the grass and across the land at the graveyard, my father's home, just a few yards away.
I closed my eyes, feeling the ache in my heart returning.
"Mom, please you have to come with me," I begged. My hands held purple and blue wildflowers I'd spent all afternoon picking with Joshua's help. Today was the first anniversary of my father's death, and I wanted to celebrate in a way of sorts.
"I'm not going there, I have too much to do." She shook her head once and walked into the kitchen further away from me. She dug through the fridge, but it was too early to make dinner. She was stalling. Even I could see that.
I followed her, flowers in hand and placed them on the counter. "What else do you have to do, Mom? What could be more important?" My eyes pleaded with her to come with me to his grave. I wanted to remember him as he was and shower his home with flowers.
"You wouldn't understand. You're a child," she scolded me. "Now get the flowers off the table and go wash up for dinner."
My hands ripped the flowers from the counter. I took off running out of the house toward the cemetery. Tears burned my eyes and ran down my cheeks as I stomped through the graveyard over dying grass searching for his resting place.
Finding it, I dropped to my knees, the flowers spilling from my hands. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I wanted her to come, but she couldn't. She was too busy – you know how she is." I wiped the tears away as I fixed the flowers on the ground and rearranged them properly. "I love you so much." I sniffled once, shivering from the cold autumn air, but refused to leave.
My body froze in place, feeling a warm gloved hand on my shoulder. I glanced back surprised to see Joshua, his blue eyes staring down at me as he sat beside me on the ground. "Hi, Mr. Parker."
"Olive?" I felt Joshua's voice in my head and shook it once bringing myself back. The sun felt warm, and I realized now he’d placed his arm around my shoulder. "You spaced out for a minute."
"I guess I did," I whispered, glancing from the graves back down to the grass. I didn't want to tell him it was a welcome escape from what he'd said just moments ago– that he’d joked about us being matched and then seemed somehow repulsed by it.
He nodded slowly, keeping me close beside him. "There are a few girls I wouldn't mind being matched with this afternoon," he confessed, bringing us right back where we started. I wasn't sure I was grateful for the conversation, but I also didn't want him to see he'd hurt me. I was sure it wasn't intentional. He'd been joking. "I just keep thinking, what if they refuse me?"
"What?" That caught me off-guard. It was unheard of to refuse your match. It wasn't illegal, per se, but it might as well have been. If you denied the match, then you were defying the government of Cabal, which ruled our town of Genesis. The law stated someone could choose not to marry, but then the government no longer had the need to represent that person. As such, the unmarried were banished from any and all government cities and forced to reside in the Gravelands. Anyone who was sent beyond the walls without food or transportation would die. It was no secret that starvation and dehydration would likely be the first to kill you.
"I
'm worried one of the girls might look at me and not want to marry me," Joshua repeated. He must have thought I hadn't heard him. I had. I just couldn't fathom who would ever turn their match down. I'd never seen it happen, but long before I was born, there were stories of it.
"Oh, come on." I rolled my eyes and nudged him. His grip on my shoulders loosened, and I wrapped an arm around his waist. My head came to rest on his shoulder as I let out a soft sigh. "No one would rather seek death than marry you." I laughed softly. "You're not that bad of a catch."
Joshua laughed under his breath. "Thanks."
"I'm serious." I smiled glancing at him from his shoulder. "You're a really nice guy. Besides, marriage isn't like…" I paused unwilling to finish the sentence.
"What?" Joshua waited for me to continue.
I couldn't very well confess I'd been reading illegal texts. I chewed my lip anxiously trying to reconsider my words. "Marriage is just about sharing a house and food together. It's not like it used to be."
Joshua stared, waiting for me to elaborate. I wasn't the best consoler. “After today,” Joshua whispered, “You and me, we won’t be able to do this.”
"I know." I sighed. Just thinking about it made me miss him already. “It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong,” I reminded him as much as myself. We merely spent time together.
"The government won't see it like that," Joshua reminded me. "They'd charge us with adultery." It was an unwelcome reminder of the perfect system.
I knew he was right. It was a dangerous game we’d been playing for years. Although it wasn’t forbidden to befriend a member of the opposite sex, it was frowned upon. I never quite understood why, until today.
Hesitantly, I pulled back giving Joshua a shy smile. “I should head home before Mom worries.” If I left now, I could shower and be ready in time for the marriage ceremony. “I’ll see you later.” I smiled, giving a wave as I headed through the graveyard towards home. Already I missed Joshua with his dark hair and eyes as blue as the sky, I felt my heart leap in a strange unexplainable way. I hated to think that after today I would probably never see him again.