Songbird (Songbird, #1)

by Lisa Edward

  I looked over in Cole’s direction. His response was less like friendly appreciation. He was undressing me with his eyes, the emerald-green less noticeable with the pupils so huge and black.

  I internally stuck out my tongue and blew a raspberry at him—take that!

  “Hi Cole,” I greeted him casually. “I wasn’t sure if you would be here tonight.” I was giving him a good look, and he was drinking it all in.

  “I wouldn’t miss the show,” he responded, still running his eyes over my body. “Your hair looks great.” Then he turned to Jason. “Is that your handiwork?”

  Jason nodded proudly.

  “Very nice,” Cole muttered under his breath.

  “Thanks … mate,” I said, giving him a “mates” punch on the arm.

  His eyes glimmered with realisation. “Is all this for my benefit?” he asked smugly, sweeping his hand up and down to indicate my outfit.

  “All what, exactly?” I asked, wide-eyed, playing dumb.

  I turned, and started walking over to the piano. I had been taught in deportment classes that a lady should glide when she walked. Bugger that; I was giving my hips a good old wiggle. Not a girl, indeed.

  I was passing some tables when I felt a hand lightly touch my wrist. “Can we buy you a drink?”

  Looking down, I saw two young men dressed in suits and business shirts smiling up at me. Their ties had long been removed, top buttons undone.

  I was going to decline—I usually didn’t drink before playing—but I looked back at the bar, and all three of my friends were watching with varying expressions on their faces.

  Turning back to the two guys, I flicked my hair flirtatiously. “Actually, I don’t pay for drinks so let me get you one.”

  I took note of what they were drinking, and then made my way back over to the bar.

  “Two bourbon and colas, and a glass of champagne, please,” I said to Marcus, and then leaned up against the bar beside Cole while I waited.

  Marcus poured my drinks with a dimpled smile on his face. “Glad to see you’re making friends, Tara,” he said. “Although I would prefer you let the paying customers order the drinks next time.”

  I pulled a face. “Sorry, wasn’t thinking.” I picked up the three drinks awkwardly between my fingers and turned to head back over to the table.

  “You’ve made your point, Tara.”

  I looked at Cole on my way past, playing dumb once again.

  He just shook his head at me. “Yes, you’re hot, yes, you’re as sexy as hell, and yes, you are definitely a girl. Now can you please stop with the flirting, and wiggling your ass when you walk?”

  I couldn’t help myself; I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing at his last comment.

  “Anything else you would like to say to me?” I asked expectantly.

  He rolled his eyes, then pulled me over so I was standing in between his open legs. He brushed my hair off my neck, giving me goose bumps, and leaned in to whisper in my ear, “I would shag you in a heartbeat.”

  Ha! Touchdown.

  It seemed just when I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, someone dragged me back.

  I had finished playing for the evening, and had miraculously managed to only need to dash to the back room to wipe the tears from my eyes and fix my make-up twice.

  I was just getting ready to leave when a young girl approached me. “Sorry to interrupt you, but it’s my anniversary, and I was wondering if you knew ‘A Thousand Years’. It’s kind of our song.”

  I nodded. Of course I knew it; it was Riley’s song, too. She gave me an excited quick hug, and then scurried back to her table, and the young man waiting for her.

  Looking at Marcus, I groaned, “I can’t play it. Of all the songs she could have asked for …” I dropped my forehead onto the bar.

  Cole was sitting at the bar beside me. “What’s wrong?” he asked, not understanding the significance of the song.

  I explained that it was Riley’s song, and that I hadn’t been able to bring myself to play it since we had broken up.

  He finished his drink in one gulp. “No time like the present to get over Hotshot once and for all. Come on,” he said, taking my hand. “We’ll play it together.”

  He walked me over to the piano, and then found one of the guitars that he had left behind the stage. “Ready?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

  I took a deep breath in and then exhaled, puffing out my cheeks. “If I have to.”

  As soon as I started playing, the tears stung my eyes. I wanted to stop playing, to turn tail and run. But Cole joined in, and I heard him say, in a hushed voice, “Look at me.”

  Sniffling, I turned to look at his face. He was watching me, his eyes encouraging me along, and I felt myself relax, taking strength from his support.

  We made it through the song with Cole backing up my vocals. When we finished, the crowd applauded loudly. I couldn’t deny that Cole and I together were a great team.

  “Thank you,” I whispered in his ear as he gave me a hug.

  “No worries. You know I’d do anything for you, babe.”

  Kelli’s birthday was coming up, and, feeling like the worst best friend in the world, I called a Kelli’s Birthday Party committee meeting with Jason and Marcus to work out what we should do. Of course, a party was in order. She was turning twenty-five, which was a quarter of a century, so it had to be celebrated BIG, but the question was where to have it.

  Jason, Kelli and I all lived in small apartments. Songbirds would be open for business, and didn’t have a private function room that we could use, so Marcus offered his house for the venue.

  I threw myself into the project with relish. It helped take my mind off things, and on occasion I even forgot about Riley for an hour or two, while I ran around ordering cake, and writing invitations.

  The Sons were supposed to be playing at the bar that night, but Kelli’s birthday was more important. So instead of playing at the bar and getting paid in cash, they agreed to play in Marcus’s living room and get paid in beer.

  I stood in front of the wardrobe trying to decide what to wear to the party. It was still a sticking point for me, so it took longer than it probably should have before I noticed the red crossover top sandwiched between my work clothes.

  Taking the top out, I held it to my chest, remembering how Riley had loved this top, and the reaction it had evoked in him. The weather was starting to get a bit cooler, and I would need a cardigan over it, but I decided to wear it for old times’ sake. I dragged out a short black A-line skirt that finished just above the knee, and stiletto ankle boots to go with it. Then finished getting ready, and headed over to Marcus’s house to set up.

  The band arrived not long after me, and set up in the corner of the living room. We had moved the couches out to the sides of the room, and opened the bi-fold doors to the alfresco area, creating a large open area for dancing and mingling.

  I played the perfect host—or at least, I tried to, as people started arriving. Marcus had arranged the alcohol through his suppliers, so the beer, wine, and spirits were flowing freely.

  There was a break in people arriving, and I needed a break from all the smiling and good cheer. No matter how much of a front I put on, I was really not in the mood, and if one more person asked me what had happened with Riley I was going to scream.

  I was just on my second Budweiser when Kelli and Cooper arrived, followed closely behind by Riley.

  He was wearing a black long-sleeved shirt with the cuffs rolled up. With his nearly black hair and thick black lashes, his eyes looked impossibly blue as they scanned the room purposefully.

  He looked good enough to eat, literally, and I sighed loudly at how I had missed the sight of him.

  My first instinct was still to rush to him, and throw my arms around him. My second instinct was to duck down behind the kitchen bench, and hide for the rest of the night. I had missed him so much, every minute of every day, and as I watched him look
ing around the room, my heart ached for what we once had.

  I was still staring at him when his eyes found mine. He smiled hesitantly, and I smiled back; he still had my heart wrapped around his little finger, and just the slight inclination of his mouth made me sigh. He made his way over to me, stopping just short of a hug; it seemed his first instinct was the same as mine, which was to touch.

  “Hi, Tara, how are you?” he asked, chewing his bottom lip, and then, recognising the top I was wearing added, “You look beautiful.”

  Now that he was up close, I could see that he had lost a little weight and his eyes had lost their smile. He looked tired and sad. He looked how I felt.

  I smiled again, but I could feel tears already starting to sting my eyes, and when I looked into his eyes they were beginning to well up too. Then, without speaking, I stepped forward and hugged him.

  He hugged me back tightly, burying his face in my neck, and inhaling deeply. The feel of his body against mine after so long was overwhelming, and all the emotions that I had tried so hard to bury deep surfaced and came spilling out.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered into my hair, and I nodded, unable to tell him I had missed him too.

  There was still the issue that he had chosen Rebecca over me, and we needed to hash that out, but right at this moment he was here in my arms, and I was not going to let him go. We held each other for the longest time before finally loosening our arms but still maintaining contact.

  Wiping my eyes, I tried to compose myself. “I’m surprised to see you; I thought this would be the last place you would want to be,” I said, still drinking in his face.

  “Why would you think that? You’re the one who didn’t want to see me. You broke up with me, remember?” he asked puzzled. “I called you so many times in the beginning, sent you so many messages, but the calls just went to some automated voicemail.” He looked down, his brow furrowed. “Then you sent me the text message telling me to stop texting you.”

  “What?” I pulled out my phone and held it up to him, as if it were proof of his lack of communication. “Not one missed call, Riley, and not a single text.”

  The thought of that upset me again and I stepped away, confused by my feelings and his closeness.

  Riley pulled his phone out of his pocket, and went to the messages folder. Twenty-seven messages had been sent to Tara on his phone.

  “I started feeling like a stalker I sent so many messages,” he said, flicking through them all. “Then you sent this one back.” He scrolled to the response, and held the phone up to me.

  Stop texting this number. I’m not interested.

  I took the phone out of his hand, trying to make sense of what was happening. “I never sent that,” I said confused.

  It said it was from “Tara”, but it wasn’t from me.

  I had carried my phone around with me day and night, waiting for him to contact me, and he hadn’t. I would never have told him to stop contacting me—just one sign that he still cared and I would have been on a plane to Sydney, whether he wanted me there or not.

  Riley took his phone back then dialled my number. I smiled to myself when I saw it was still programmed into speed dial number one. My phone didn’t ring, and the call went to an automated voicemail, not my voicemail.

  I looked at my phone, bewildered. If he had dialled number one, it should have connected.

  “I told you,” he said, the proof clearly evident. “I even asked Kelli to talk to you for me, but she said you made her promise not to mention my name.” He looked shattered by this last revelation. He held his hands out to the sides, and shook his head. “I don’t know what else I could have done, Tara.”

  Taking his phone from his hand, I checked the setting. “This isn’t my number. The last two digits are reversed.” Instead of ending in 35, the number ended in 53. I shook my head in disbelief. “Did anyone have access to your phone?” I asked. “Would Rebecca have changed my number?”

  I couldn’t believe anyone could be so devious, but then, she had tried to lead me to believe that there was something going on between her and Riley. So was this that much of a stretch, really?

  He ran his hands through his hair, then closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them again, he looked apologetic. “I’m so sorry, babe,” he said “babe” as if it were the natural thing to call me, and it made my heart smile to hear it. “I didn’t even think to check the number. I just thought you were avoiding me.”

  He reached out and took hold of my hands. I let him this time. “I can’t believe we wasted so much time not being together.”

  He brushed a loose hair behind my ear, then ran the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “So does this mean all is forgiven?” he asked hopefully.

  I wanted to say yes, but I still had issues about what had happened. I backed away from him. “I don’t know, Riley. I need some time to think.”

  Being so close to him was clouding my judgement. All I wanted to do was kiss him and touch him. I needed some space, but the house was full of people, so I turned on my heels and headed for the door.

  CLIMBING INTO my car, I sat there for a few minutes, debating where to go. Finally, I turned on the ignition, and pointed the car in the direction of my second home: Songbirds.

  Walking straight in, I headed to the back room, only just acknowledging Cassie behind the bar. For some reason, just being there helped me think things through. I was so confused. Had Riley really been trying to get in touch? The misdirected text messages would indicate that he had tried a stalkerish amount of times, even when I hadn’t replied to him.

  I felt a massive wave of relief at the thought that he hadn’t given up until he received the text telling him to stop. The text that he thought was from me.

  I was just sitting at the table, staring at my phone, when it beeped with a new message, then another one, and another one after that. Twenty-seven messages came through, one after another. Riley was forwarding all the messages he had sent to the wrong number on to me.

  I put my hand over my mouth, not believing what I was seeing, the tears flowing once again.

  Babe I’m sorry, please forgive me. I love you.

  I miss you so much. Please call me.

  Tara, I love you, and I always will. Please call me so we can sort this out.

  Babe, you mean everything to me, please forgive me.

  Babe please Skype me. I need to see you, to talk to you. I’m so miserable without you.

  Tara, I know I screwed up big time, but I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to do this without you. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep—please, babe, call me.

  There was message after message, all telling me the same thing: that he loved me, that he missed me, and that he wanted to fix things.

  I was reading all the messages when there was a knock on the door. “I knew you’d be here,” Marcus said as he opened the door. “You two need to talk.”

  He stepped to one side, and I saw Riley standing behind him. He was frowning, but he gave me a half-smile.

  “I’m going to lock you in, and not let you out until you have kissed and made up.”

  I started to protest, but he cut me off.

  “Tara, you’ve been miserable for months, and I’ve been worried about you. Just swallow your pride and forgive the guy, will you?” Then he turned and walked out, leaving Riley and I alone.

  I smiled at Riley, tears still fresh in my eyes.

  “I see you finally got my messages,” he said, indicating to the phone that was in my hand. He was still standing nervously, his hands deep in his pockets, waiting for me to tell him it was okay for him to be here.

  I pulled out the seat beside me for him, and he quickly sat down.

  “Okay.” He drew a breath. “I love you, and I’m sorry. I screwed up big time, Tara, I know that. I should have told you she was there and needed my help, but I thought you would react badly, and I didn’t want to fight with you.” He laughed to himself. “That worked out well
, didn’t it?”

  I smiled despite myself, but only for a second. “You still chose her over me, Riley; how do you think that made me feel?” My voice rose at the end so I sounded angrier than I was.

  “They were in trouble, Tara; what did you want me to do?” Now his voice was louder.

  “Not choose her over me; not make me feel like second best.” Surely he understood that.

  He had felt like second best when she had chosen Patrick over him, and was worried that I would do the same thing to him and go back to Stephen. He had to understand how he had made me feel, or we could not move forward.

  His hand flew to his mouth, understanding in his eyes. Yes, he understood.

  “No, no, no. You were never second best, Tara, not for one moment.” The remorse in his voice was crushing, and brought tears to my eyes. “Tara, I love you, and I will until the day I die. You have never been second best to me. You are my everything.”

  “But you chose to stay with her, and not come to see me.”

  He sighed. “I didn’t choose her. I looked at her face, and even with the bruising from Patrick, I was ready to leave to come see you. But then I looked at little Jacob, and I saw my mother’s sad, frightened eyes looking back at me. He looks like my mum, Tara; he has her eyes.” Tears were welling in Riley’s eyes again. “And I know that because of that, Patrick will hate him. That poor little boy has a lifetime of violence and fear ahead of him.”

  “He will have the childhood you had, won’t he?” I finally understood why Riley felt he had to try to help.

  He shook his head. “At least I had a mum who loved me, and tried to make up for it. Rebecca will always put herself first. That little boy …” He shook his head again. “I don’t know what to do, but he needs to be helped before it’s too late.” He sighed. “You will always come first to me, and I’m so sorry I made you feel like I chose her over you.” He turned and held my hands, stroking my knuckles with his thumbs.

  Looking down at his hands, I noticed something poking out from the edge of his sleeve.

  “What’s that?” I asked, pointing to his right forearm.

  He pushed up his sleeve, then looked at me sheepishly. “It’s the name of the only girl I’ve ever loved. The only girl I will ever love.”