by Annie Groves
‘I’m so dreadfully sorry,’ Diane said, helpless to say anything more.
‘Yes. He was a good man. One of the best. He tried to…to hang on, but in the end it was too much for him. He’d been in the water too long, you see, and…they amputated his toes first and then the lower part of his leg. But then…’ Her whole body was shaking, heaving with the pressure of the tears she was refusing to cry.
Overwhelmed with compassion for her, Diane drew her into a secluded corner, keeping her arm protectively around her.
‘Oh God, Di, I am so glad that he died. Isn’t that a shocking thing to say? I loved him but I wanted him to die! Not for me but for him. Can you understand that? I couldn’t bear to see him dying inch by inch, you see, as they cut him to pieces bit by bit…’
Diane didn’t say a word as she held her and tried to comfort her. What words were there for her to say, after all? Pity had gripped her by the throat anyway, silencing anything she might have wanted to say.
‘They said at the hospital that they’d sign me off for some compassionate leave if I wanted, but I’d rather be here, back at work. At least that way I feel that I’m doing something to help get this war over with so that other men don’t die like him.’
‘He’d be so proud of you for being so brave,’ Diane whispered to her, whilst she wondered inwardly if she could have done the same if she had had to sit at the bedside of the man she loved and watch him die. To her chagrin the face she could see inside her head was Lee’s, not Kit’s: Lee, with his blue eyes dark with pain and the desire for death, his body racked by pain. Stop it, stop it at once, she commanded herself shakily. Take a leaf out of Susan’s book and bury yourself in work to forget the pain.
TWENTY-FOUR
Myra stiffened as Nick cursed.
‘Asshole English rubbers, they’re bloody useless. For a start, they ain’t big enough.’ He dropped the split rubber and opened a new packet.
It was just gone ten in the morning, and they were still in bed in their suite. Officially Myra had her own room, since the suite possessed two bedrooms, but of course, as she had known he would, Nick had insisted she share his bed.
He had woken up half an hour ago, complaining about the lack of proper coffee, and saying that the band they had danced to the previous night had been nowhere near as good as a New York band. Myra had come to learn that Nick had to be coaxed and flattered out of these bad moods, so she had smiled at him and put her arms around his neck, telling him how much she was enjoying herself and how wonderful he was.
Now, as a result of that, she was going to have to lie here and let him have sex with her, but at least that would put him in a better mood. It was a pity it was Sunday otherwise they could have seen a few more of the ‘sights’, but at least she had her lovely new dark red rustling taffeta frock, bought from a woman who had arrived at the hotel with a selection for her to try after she had done as Nick had suggested and ‘asked the doorman’.
She had felt as good as any film star last night in her new frock with her hair done, and her engagement ring sparkling away. It was a pity that she hadn’t had a few rows of pearls to wear round her neck like some of the other women she had seen when they had finally gone down to dinner, but at least she had had the satisfaction of knowing that she had been the prettiest woman in the room. Nick had said so himself. Her smile faded as Nick gave up struggling with the new ‘rubber’ and reached for her impatiently.
‘I guess you know what to do anyway, don’t you, sweet stuff?’ he said thickly as he climbed on top of her.
Unenthusiastically, Myra closed her eyes. She would need more new clothes than just her taffeta dress for when she went to New York. Of course, she would buy everything new anyway when she got there, but she wanted to arrive looking right. Nick grunted as he thrust into her, and she drew in a sharp breath. She felt slightly sore still from yesterday. Nick was much rougher than Jim had been, but that was because he felt so passionate about her, Myra comforted herself. This intimacy, uncomfortable and unwanted by her as it was, was in reality a small price to pay for what she would get in return, once she was his wife, and they were living in America. And not just in America, but in New York. She gave a soft sigh of pleasure, causing Nick to grunt approvingly and thrust harder.
‘And I were warning our George about ’oo he goes talking wiv, now that he’s joined the ARP ’cos you’ve only got to read the papers to hear about what’s going on. There was that fast society piece wot was interned the other year, that Lady Howard, on suspicion of spying.’
‘I should think that your George is pretty safe, though, Elsie,’ Jess laughed. ‘He doesn’t do much hobnobbing wi’ Winnie, after all, does he? And I can’t see that Lady wotsit taking a trip down to the Dog and Duck, even if she hadn’t been interned.’
They were on their break in the canteen and whilst everyone else laughed good-naturedly, Elsie looked ruffled. ‘It’s all right you laughing, but I’m telling you, it’s not for nothing that the government keeps on telling us to “keep mum”.’
‘Isn’t it your birthday this week, Alice?’ Jess asked one of the other girls.
‘Yes, it is.’ She extended her wrist proudly. ‘My Ian brought me this watch back when he was home on leave. Real gold, it is,’ she told them all as she showed off the bright shiny new timepiece. ‘Bargained for it himself, he did, in one of them bazaar places they’ve got out there in Egypt.’
‘Well, you want to take it off when you have a wash, Alice, only you’re getting a real funny-looking tidemark,’ one of the other girls sniffed. ‘Proper green, it looks,’ she added as everyone at the table stopped eating their dinner to lean forward and look closer at the telltale mark just showing beneath the shiny gold watch.
‘’Ere, if you trying to say I don’t wash?’ Alice began indignantly.
‘Never mind about washing, you mek sure you don’t forget to put it back in your locker before we go back to the cleanway,’ Mel warned her. ‘Otherwise, gold or not, we’ll all be going up in smoke, seeing as it’s metal.’
‘I’m not that daft,’ Alice told her scornfully. ‘I only got it from me locker just so as I could show it off. I’ll be putting it back in before I go back.’
‘I tell you wot, seeing as it’s your birthday, Alice, how about us all going out to the Grafton this week?’ Jess suggested. ‘The rest of us’ll club together and treat you, won’t we, girls?’
Ruthie, who had been on the verge of saying she’d rather not go, felt obliged to nod instead. It wouldn’t be right not to pay her share of the treat, she admitted, even if she didn’t feel much like going dancing without Glen.
‘That’s that settled then,’ Jess announced. ‘We’ll all meet up outside the Grafton on Wednesday. We can have a bit of something to eat first. Wot’s up?’ she asked as Alice frowned suddenly and began to scratch at her wrist.
‘I dunno. It’s me wrist, it’s itching that much it’s fair driving me mad. I reckon me watch is a bit on the tight side. Ruddy hell, there’s the bell gone. How come the dinner hour goes that fast it feels like no more than five minutes, but when you’re working every hour feels like it’s going on for ever?’ she grumbled as they all started to get up from the table.
‘Sit down, Wilson. I just thought I’d have a few words with you post last week’s dreadful accident. Major Saunders will be filing an official report to the American authorities, of course. Both he and the local rescue services have already reported on the role you played and your bravery,’ Group Captain Barker smiled approvingly.
‘I didn’t think about being brave,’ Diane admitted. ‘I just didn’t want…When you’ve worked with airforce men and you’ve seen…He was so young…’
To Diane’s astonishment the Group Captain passed a clean white handkerchief across the desk to her, telling Diane bracingly, ‘That’s the spirit,’ when she blew her nose to halt the tears that that been threatening to overwhelm her.
‘Major Saunders told me this morning that you had requested th
e young airman’s address so had you could write to his family.’
Lee had been here at Derby House? Diane’s heart did a steep dive and then crash-landed, mirroring her swift surge of excitement followed by the disappointment of knowing he had not tried to see her.
‘I…I wasn’t sure whether or not it would be the right thing to do,’ Diane collected herself enough to respond. ‘I thought initially that his mother would want to know, but then maybe that kind of knowledge might be too much for her to bear.’
‘My advice to you would be for you to write your letter. The major’s suggestion, which I thought a wise one, was that it should then be handed over to someone close enough to the family to know whether or not it was appropriate for them to see it.’
Diane nodded in acknowledgement of the wisdom of this suggestion.
The Group Captain paused, then continued, ‘There is another matter I need to discuss with you, I’m afraid.’
Diane could feel herself starting to tense.
‘I am aware that you requested a transfer from your previous post for personal reasons.’
‘Yes, that’s correct, ma’am,’ Diane agreed, not sure what prompted her question.
‘You were engaged to an airman but the engagement was broken?’ the captain persisted.
Diane nodded again. What was all this about? A terrible thought struck her. Without realising what she was doing she got to her feet, asking anxiously, ‘It’s not…nothing’s happened to Kit, has it, ma’am?’
‘Not so far as I am aware. Please sit down.’ There was more kindness than authority in the Group Captain’s voice.
A little shakily Diane subsided back into her chair.
‘War brings us into contact with situations and choices which we would not normally be called on to deal with, all the more so when we are female. As your superior it is part of my job to be aware of the pressures that young Waafs experience, and when necessary to offer them guidance and advice.’
What on earth was the captain leading up to, Diane wondered.
‘We all know how quickly friendships are made in a war situation, when people are working closely together under conditions of extreme pressure, and how easily, when that friendship is between a man and a woman, it can turn into something…deeper.’ The captain paused and looked down at her desk. ‘I confess that speaking like this to my girls is not an aspect of my job that I welcome. After all, we have all been young, and it is fair to say that we should all have a right to our private lives. However, in wartime, the security of the country has to come before the luxury of personal privacy.’
The security of the nation? Diane’s eyes widened. What on earth was the Group Captain talking about?
‘The security of the nation is not always about the obvious,’ the Group Captain continued, ‘or the necessity to remember that our private conversations could become the property of spies. Sometimes it can be about things that are less easily definable, things such as the moral strength of a country, and the importance of that strength for the way it binds the people of that country together. It is part of our role here in the services to make sure that we women, who are in uniform and thus a highly visible part of our country’s womanhood, are above reproach where our own morals are concerned, and that we set an example for the fellow members of our sex to follow.’ The Group Captain placed her elbows on the table, steepling her fingers together as she looked towards Diane. ‘You will be aware, I am sure, that there have been reports in the press of a certain kind of behaviour by some British women with regard to our American allies,’ she continued, whilst Diane could feel her face starting to burn with a mixture of guilt and shame. ‘Major Saunders is, I would imagine, a good soldier, and a good man. My own dealings with him have certainly inclined me to think so. However, I would have to be blind,’ the Group Captain continued wryly, ‘as well as deaf, if I were not aware that so far as my girls are concerned he is also a very attractive man. The kind of man, in fact, that any young woman would be flattered to have paying her attention.’
Diane swallowed mutely.
The Group Captain stood up. ‘I do understand how you must feel, my dear. You have been let down foolishly, in my opinion, by one young man, and naturally, when a man like the major takes it into his head to show you the kind of flattering gallantry the Americans are famous for…However, the major is a married man, even if his wife is over three thousand miles away.’
Diane wanted to jump up and run away but of course she couldn’t do anything of the sort. Instead she bent her head, and said uncomfortably, ‘I have already discussed this with…with the major, ma’am, and…and we have agreed that to avoid people misconstruing anything, it would be better…’ Ignominiously, Diane could feel her voice breaking.
To her astonishment, Group Captain Barker put her hand on her shoulder and said quietly, ‘There, there, my dear. I do understand that this can’t be easy for you. I did think of offering you another transfer, but I am already three girls down and, to be blunt, I simply can’t afford to lose a young woman of your calibre as well.’
A transfer! Diane’s heart skipped a beat. But not at the thought of never seeing Lee again, she assured herself.
‘It’s inevitable that you and Major Saunders will come across one another in the course of your duties, but you’re a sensible girl, I know that, and I can rely on you to remember your responsibility to the uniform you wear and to doing what’s right. Now! I’ve taken up enough of your time, so you’d better run along and get back to work, and we’ll say no more about any of this.’
‘Thank you, ma’am,’ Diane managed to respond woodenly before standing up and saluting.
‘Are you OK now, only you looked a bit green when you came out of the Group Captain’s office,’ Jean said solicitously.
Diane gave her a wan smile.
‘I can guess why, of course. After all, everyone’s been talking about it.’
Diane stiffened, and then relaxed when Jean continued, ‘It was frightfully brave of you to do what you did and go to that fly boy. I don’t think I could have done it.’
‘You’d be surprised what you can do when you have to,’ Diane told her dismissively, quickly changing the subject by saying, ‘Susan told me about her husband this morning.’
‘Yes, she’s in a terrible state, although she’s pretending not to be. It can’t be easy for her being here when we’ve got another convoy on its way to Russia. She must be thinking every minute of her husband. Thank God my chap’s on radio ops and not on active duty. Mind you, the best thing of all is to be like you. Being heart whole and man free makes life a hell of a lot easier. Plus you get to play the field and have some fun,’ Jean told her with a meaningful wink.
‘Me watch…It’s gone…’
The frantic anxiety in Alice’s voice, had all the girls close to her, including Ruthie, look up from their own work.
‘Don’t be daft, Alice,’ Jess told her bracingly. ‘It can’t be gone. You were only showing it off to us at dinner.’
‘It has gone, I tell you,’ Alice insisted, tears filling her eyes. ‘Someone has gone and nicked it, that’s wot.’
‘How can it be gone when it’s in your locker?’
‘Well, that’s it, see.’ Alice admitted. ‘I didn’t put it in me locker on account of not having time. I left it in me bag hanging up on me peg.’
‘You did what? You dafthead, that was just asking to have it taken.’
Several female heads swung accusingly in the direction of the woman who had been caught out stealing before now.
‘’Ere, don’t you lot go blaming me again, ’cos it weren’t me,’ she objected immediately, bristling defensively. ‘And wot’s more, my Wilf says he’s going to come down here and knock a few ’eads together if anyone starts mouthing off any more lies about me.’
‘Someone had better go and have a look in her locker,’ one of the other women called out sharply.
‘Give over, you lot,’ Jess chimed in. ‘Lizzie would
have to be daft to go thieving now after what happened. Come on, Alice, and stop that blubbing. What you had to bring it here for in the first place I don’t know. Not when we all know that we can’t wear watches when we’re working,’ Jess pointed out.
‘Aye and not when we all know there’s thieves about as well,’ Maureen told her witheringly. ‘You wouldn’t catch me leaving anything valuable like a gold watch lying around for someone to take. I reckon your husband is going to have summat to say to you when he gets home next.’
‘Oh, give it a rest, will yer, Maureen,’ one of the other women demanded grimly. ‘There’s no call to go rubbing it in. Now see what you’ve done,’ she accused her when Alice began to cry noisily.
‘Coo, tek a look at that, will yer?’ Lucy called as the girls queued up to leave the factory, nodding in the direction of the US Army Jeep parked outside the gates.
‘Maybe it’s your Glen, come to drive you home,’ Jess teased Ruthie, as she showed the duty guard her ID.
Ruthie followed her, holding out her own ID, and then looking at the duty guard in bewilderment when he told her sharply, ‘No, not you.’
‘What’s up? What’s going on?’ Lucy demanded.
‘You Ruthie Philpott, are you?’ the guard asked Ruthie, scrutinising her ID, ‘because if you are, there’s someone waiting to see you.’
‘It is Glen,’ Jess, who had hung back with Ruthie to find out what was going on, squealed triumphantly, when the guard nodded in the direction of the waiting Jeep.
Ruthie felt her heart lift with excitement and delight as she hurried over to the waiting Jeep, escorted by a group of her curious and giggling friends.
Only when she reached the Jeep she could see that there were two men inside it and that neither of them was Glen.
‘Are you Ruthie Philpott?’ the one in the passenger seat stopped chewing his gum to ask her.