by Lylah James
I stayed silent, letting his love cocoon me in a safe embrace.
“You wanted to know why I brought you here?” he asked.
I nodded and waited for him to continue.
Alessio sighed and slightly pulled away. He brushed my tears away. “It’s because it’s our turn to be on that wall.”
“It’s your turn to take that seat as Queen. It’s another tradition for the Ivanshov family. Something we have been practicing for decades. For some families, their women hold no power. But for us, our wives are our queens. Our Angels.” Alessio paused, looking slightly chocked by emotions.
“The photographer will be here in a few hours. By tomorrow morning, our portrait will be on that wall,” Alessio continued before he kissed forehead sweetly.
“I’m really your wife…in every way,” I stated tearfully.
“Yes, you are, Angel,” he replied with a small smile.
He turned me around so my back was to him. Holding me close, we stared at the two portraits. “And you are not only the Queen of the Ivanshov family, but you have thousands of men under you. Four Russian families. They all belong to you.”
His lips were so close to my ear as he whispered his next words. “And the Italians are yours too. They are at your feet. You are above them, Angel. I made sure of that.”
A shiver ran through me. His voice was rough and held a hint of hard dominance. I swallowed nervously. “This is a bit overwhelming, Alessio. Months ago, I had nothing. And now I have more than I want.”
“You have everything you deserve, Ayla.”
Alessio palmed my pregnant belly. “I will never let our daughter go through what we went through.”
My heart soared, and I closed my eyes with a relieved and happy sigh. “You are amazing; you know that? Sometimes I feel like it’s all a dream. Like you aren’t real. You can’t be real.”
He stiffened behind me, and my eyes snapped open at the sudden change. “I’m not amazing, Ayla. I’m far from amazing. If you knew what I had done…then you wouldn’t say that.”
I turned in his arms, looking at his cold face. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m a killer, Ayla,” he stated, staring at my face intently. He was looking for my reaction.
“I know that,” I replied softly.
“I have killed for years, and I will keep doing it—for this family. To protect my empire. And to protect you and our kids. It’s who I am,” he explained quietly.
“I know.”
“No. You don’t. You don’t know, Ayla. You have no idea of the things I have done. I’m not an amazing man. I’m a monster,” he continued, looking slightly heartbroken. “I don’t deserve you.”
My hands went to his chest. “Stop saying that. Just stop, Alessio. I get to decide if you deserve me or not. And I say you deserve me. Just like I deserve you.”
Alessio let out a dry laugh. “So innocent, Angel. I’m tempted to keep you that way. I don’t want to drag you into the dark side with me, but I can’t let you go either.”
“Alessio—” I started, but he shook his head, cutting me off.
“If I were a good man, I would have let you go to have a good life. Not trapped you here with me.”
“But it’s my choice. I decided to stay here with you. I chose you,” I quickly fought back. He was just being plain ridiculous now.
Alessio brought his hand to my face. His thumb caressed the underside of my eye, slowly dragging his finger to my cheek. “I’m not any better than your father or Alberto. You ended up falling in love with the Devil.”
My eyes widened, my lips parting in shock. “You don’t mean that. Stop it!” I screamed. “Don’t ever compare yourself with them. Do you understand?”
Holding his collar, I glared at the man I desperately loved. How dare he lower himself to their level?
“Tell me something, Alessio. Have you ever taken a woman against her will? Have you ever hit a woman? Rape her until she was unconscious and couldn’t move? Rape her while she was pregnant with another man’s baby? Have you ever chained a woman to a wall and beat her up…whipped her until she puked from crying too much?” I questioned fiercely.
Before he could answer, I continued. “Alberto did all of that to me and more. I know the difference between a good man and the Devil. You might be a killer, but you are a good man.”
My tears ran freely down my cheeks. I wanted Alessio to believe me. I was desperate for him to believe me.
Grabbing his cheeks, I stood on my toes until our faces were closer. Our lips were mere inches apart. “You said you have trapped me here. But tell me, if I ever want to leave…if I ever want to take our daughter and leave this place, will you let me go? What if I can’t bear to stay on this estate any longer…or stay with you? What if I chose to leave, would you let me go?”
He sucked in a shocked breath and looked pained. Like I had shot him, took his heart, and trampled over it.
“Even if it fucking killed me and I would be so tempted to tie you to our bed, I would let you go. Only if that’s what you wanted and made you happy. But not after fighting for us,” he choked out, like the words were hard to say.
I nodded, already knowing that would be his answer. I took his lips, and he let me lead the kiss. I kissed my husband slowly and softly, pouring all my love in that one kiss.
“And that’s exactly why you are different from Alberto. You two can’t even be compared in the slightest bit, my love,” I breathed against his lips.
His arms wrapped around me so tightly that it was almost impossible to breathe. “You won’t leave me?”
I shook my head. “No. I won’t. It was used just for an example,” I muttered. His heart drummed faster against mine, and I rubbed his chest, trying to soothe him.
“Don’t ever compare yourself with them. I know you have killed, and I know you will kill again. It doesn’t scare me. Because I know in the end, when you come back home, you will hold me in your arms and make sweet love to me…showing me exactly how much you love me,” I continued softly, this time my lips on his chest, right over his beating heart.
“Always,” he vowed.
I smiled. “Exactly.”
“I have done horrible things, Ayla, but my love for you is true,” he confessed.
“How horrible? Tell me,” I demanded.
“I almost killed a man in front of his wife and daughter. I made them watch as I tortured him. I have killed more men than I could ever count. I cut Artur’s tongue out.” He paused when I flinched at the visual.
“I made him bleed for hours. I cut off Enzo’s dick. I tortured them until they were unconscious and could barely breathe.” Alessio bent his head down.
“And I ripped Alberto’s fucking heart out of his chest with my bare hands,” he hissed in my ear. “Is that what you want to hear, Angel?”
“They were all bad men. They deserved it, Alessio,” I pushed out.
“Not all of them were bad,” he said drily.
My breath was stolen from me and I froze. “What?”
Alessio stayed silent, and I looked at him in shock. “Have you…ever…killed an innocent?”
He stared at me with hard blue eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. I do what I have to do for my family. For my empire. When I have a purpose, a goal…I go for it. I take what I have to take. I take what I want. It doesn’t matter who is in front of me. Everyone who is in my path ends up soulless. I go for my target, not caring what disaster I leave behind.”
My hands shook, and I took several deep breaths. “So, no. I don’t know who is innocent or who isn’t. I don’t care. It’s what I want and what I have to do to get it. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. Do I care? No, I don’t. But do I care what you think of me? Then yes, I do.”
I brought a shaky hand to my lips and shook my head, trying to find the proper words. He chuckled low and looked hurt when I didn’t say anything.
“Go ahead. Say it, Ayla. I’m a monster. Your husband is a killer,”
he goaded.
I shook my head again.
“I know exactly who you are. I married you knowing what you do and how you do it. I’m not surprised. Just a little overwhelmed with the information. You’re right. You are a killer. You are a monster.” I paused.
His eyes widened, and he took a step back, like I had burned him.
Taking a step forward, I crowded his personal space again. “But you are my monster.”
Alessio sucked in a surprised breath, his shoulders sagging. “Do you understand what I’m saying? I accept you for who you are. You are mine. All of you. So I would really appreciate it if you stop lowering yourself. I decide what I deserve, and I say we deserve each other.”
Alessio was silent for a moment, his expression deadly.
And then he threw his head back and laughed. Pulling me into his arms, he buried his head in my neck. “You are crazy for loving me. You can’t back out now. It’s too late. I’m never letting you go, Angel.”
“I don’t want you to let me go,” I murmured, burying deeper into his chest.
“Good,” he replied arrogantly.
We hugged, both of us refusing to let each other go. I felt so warm and loved in his embrace that if someone tried to pull us apart, I would fight them.
Chapter 32
Almost three months later
I woke up with an uncomfortable feeling in my lower region. My stomach tightened for a moment, and I moved around, trying to get rid of the stiffness.
My stomach and back muscles contracted, and my eyes snapped open when I felt a gush between my legs.
Oh. Oh.
Not again.
I pinched my eyes closed in embarrassment.
This would be the second time I peed the bed this week.
How mortifying.
My cheeks heated, and I struggled in a sitting position. Thank God Alessio was downstairs. Last time, he was unlucky.
We were both sleeping, and in the middle of the night, I had the urge to pee badly. I was too late, though. By the time I was able to get up, I had already peed. Right there on the bed.
I cried in embarrassment, and Alessio woke up. The tears just kept flowing at how shameful it was.
But being the gentleman he was, Alessio never complained.
He kissed me softly on my forehead and got up from the bed. After helping me stand up, he walked us to the bathroom and pulled me into the shower.
While I stood there crying, he took care of me, showering me with care and then drying me with a soft towel. Alessio had dressed me again in a clean nightgown. He had even removed the wet sheet and had a clean blanket on.
And then he held me in his arms until I had fallen asleep again.
This time I was on my own. I was slightly grateful for that.
I got off the bed and looked down at the wet blanket. My eyebrows furrowed when the fluid kept leaking out.
I was still peeing!
Wasn’t that too much?
I stomped my foot in frustration but then paused.
The fluid trickled down my legs as I stared at bed. This wasn’t normal. The fluid was clear…colorless.
I touched the wet spot with two fingers and brought it to my nose.
It didn’t smell.
When realization dawned, my mouth fell open.
OH!
Ignoring the wet trail I was leaving behind, I waddled to the bathroom as quickly as I could…which wasn’t too quickly.
My belly was huge. Even Ivy said I was really big for my body size.
Alessio loved it, though. He showered my pregnant belly with so much love. He mentioned a couple of times that he loved me pregnant.
Because it showed everyone that I was his.
I could never understand men and their possessive tendencies.
My back was aching as I stripped off and took a quick shower. After changing into a clean dress, I tied my hair in a bun and walked out.
I glanced at the bed one final time and left the room. The maid would have to clean it.
Slowly, I walked down the stairs. Alessio was going to throw a fit, but I had a perfect way to shut him up.
I came to a stop on the final step when I noticed the men in the living room. Maddie and Lena were there too. They were both sewing baby booties for Princess.
Perfect. I had everyone in one place.
When Alessio noticed me, he immediately stood up.
“Ayla! Why are you walking down the stairs alone?” he bellowed, making his way to me. He looked really mad, and I almost flinched at his loud tone.
Alessio held me by the waist and half-carried me to the sofa. I planted my feet on the floor before he could push me in a sitting position.
“Wait,” I muttered.
He paused.
I swallowed hard and felt suddenly nervous.
He took my silence in a bad way and started panicking. “What is it, Ayla? Is something wrong? Is it the baby? Are you hurt? Are you in pain?”
“No. I’m okay. Everyone, stay calm. It’s all good and okay.”
He raised an eyebrow and waited for me to continue.
My gaze went to everyone before meeting Alessio’s again.
“My water broke.” I could hear the excitement in my voice as I waited for their reaction.
There was about five seconds of shock and silence before everyone exploded together.
“What?”
“Shit!”
“We’re not fucking ready!”
“Oh dear.”
“Oh my God!”
“You’re not due for another two days!”
That last one was Alessio. For the first time, he appeared almost speechless.
He looked at me like I had grown two heads. Actually, all the men had the same expression on their faces.
Viktor looked like he was about to faint. Nikolay was practically ready for make a run for it. Phoenix was already taking a few steps back.
“You’re not ready. We’re not ready. The baby isn’t supposed to come out now. Ivy said so! Another two days. We have another two days, Ayla!” Alessio rambled.
His eyes were filled with fear when he palmed my very pregnant belly. There was a hard kick, one that I felt in my lower stomach, and my back contracted painfully.
“Ouch,” I muttered, rubbing the sore spot.
“What’s wrong?” Alessio’s eyes went even wider with panic. He pulled me closer and pointedly looked at Viktor.
“Get the car,” he demanded.
Viktor stared at me, not moving an inch.
“I think he’s in shock,” I whispered to Alessio.
“Viktor!” Alessio bellowed this time. I winced and sighed at the catastrophe in front of me.
Viktor snapped back to the present, tripped over his own feet, broke Lena’s favorite vase, and went down in a heap.
He laid there for a second before quickly getting back up and running out of the door.
“Phoenix, go get Ayla’s bag. Princess’s bag is in the piano room,” Maddie ordered as she came to stand by my side.
“Nikolay, can you make sure Viktor doesn’t crash into something with the car? I don’t think he can drive at the moment,” I told him.
He looked the calmest. Well, as calm as he could be in this situation. If it was his choice, he would have been out of the door by now.
At my suggestion, he nodded and quickly ran out to check on Viktor.
“Are you having any contractions?” Lena asked, pushing Alessio away.
Alessio glowered before coming to stand in front of me.
“No. Nothing yet. My water broke about twenty minutes ago. Or a little less,” I explained.
“Hmm…you’ll probably start your contractions before you reach the hospital,” she continued.
I nodded in understanding. “How bad will it be?”
While speaking, my gaze stayed on Alessio.
“It’s different for everyone, dear. I can’t say for sure.”
I hummed in response, watchin
g my man silently freak out at the thought of his wife giving birth. He was already sweating heavily, and I noticed his hands shaking at his side.
Placing a hand out, I waited for Alessio to take it. When he did, I pulled him to me. My rounded belly was cradled against Alessio’s lower abdomen as I hugged him.
“I’m going to be fine. You need to breathe or you’re going to pass out, and I can’t have you passing out on me, Alessio,” I said softly against his chest.
I could feel Lena and Maddie at my side. They were practically plastered against me, not that I was complaining. I was glad for their support. I needed it more than I would admit.
Alessio’s arms went around me, hugging me tight. I felt him relax as he breathed out. With my ear over his chest, I could hear and feel his pounding heart.
It matched my own.
I was a nervous wreck inside—panicking but trying to act as calm as I could. If everyone else was freaking out, they needed someone to be calm.
It appeared that the pregnant lady herself was going to be the peacemaker.
“Are you hurting?” he asked quietly. I could hear the tint of fear in his voice.
I shook my head before pulling away. “I’m okay. For now. We just need to get to the hospital.”
“I got the bag!” Phoenix practically screamed from the top of the stairs.
“The car is here. It’s parked.” Nikolay came rushing in, screaming too.
“Where the fuck is the baby’s bag?” Alessio snapped.
“Huh?” Phoenix looked at the bag he was holding stupidly. “I got Ayla’s bag.”
“You are useless.” With a growl, Alessio was taking off himself. I watched him run up the stairs as I felt another pain shoot up my spine.
I winced, my hand going to rub at my back.
“What’s wrong?” Maddie asked nervously.
“My back is hurting,” I finally admitted.