Turning my phone off, I stow it in a pocket. Then prepare myself for battle by lowering my head in silent prayer, where I seek strength and His guidance on this night and all nights. May He show me the way.
A final exhale, shoulders set back, I direct my gaze to the tree line the man’s hiding behind. Then I move, like mist, across the forest floor to the nearest trunk where I take cover. Extracting a ninja star from the inside pocket of my jacket, I prepare the weapon to do its job.
Now it’s time to do mine… what I was destined for.
Trunk to trunk, I stalk my prey, ducking and weaving—floating on thin air. A branch nearly snaps underfoot, but I leave off just in time. Can’t alert the enemy, not with the stakes this high. They carry guns. All it takes is one fatal bullet and I’m gone. Not that I care about death. Rejoining Johnny and Sebastian is what I dream of every night when I sleep. Their hugs, kisses, even their smell. You don’t realize how much you miss someone until you start to forget their scent. And the memories you once thought you’d cherish for a lifetime fade. Their voice dims in your mind, and you find yourself hating life more for losing another piece of them. That’s when you realize they’re leaving you, bit by bit, pain by pain, year after year. Life’s new memories seep in, taking up space you never wanted to share. You hold on to those pieces. The precious ones cast in gold. The ones that keep you fighting for good in the world. Like now, as I round the last tree to come face-to-face with the man trespassing on these grounds. Grounds I’ve sworn to protect. He’s gonna die tonight by my hand. A soul for God to judge. May He grant him mercy.
I step into the clearing, star ready to launch.
“It took ya long enough,” a familiar voice taunts.
Eyes widening, I stop dead in my tracks, take an unsteady breath, re-center my mind, and uncoil these lethal muscles from kill mode to… pissed off.
“I almost killed you,” I snarl at Kade, who’s resting his back against a tree, arms and ankles crossed. Moonshine bathes him from above, highlighting a smirk. A cocky, satisfied one I wanna punch clean off his hot biker boy face.
Stupid. Arrogant. Asshole.
He shrugs as if I wasn’t about to embed a weapon in his throat and watch him bleed out. “I’m still standin’.”
Cocky idiot. And here I thought Ryker would be the problem.
“You’ve got a death wish.”
Kade’s Texan twang serenades the night in full force. “Had to see if ya were the real deal.”
My weapon rejoins its brothers and sisters inside my jacket before I accidentally use it on this moron. “I. Am,” I enunciate.
More qualified than you. If only you knew, Kade. If only you knew.
Which he won’t. Because I have no desire to tell my story to anyone. Not Big, not Gunz, and sure as hell not this wannabe badass standing in the woods at midnight, whose greatest achievement is testing my patience.
Kade clears his throat. “I see that now. But that’s my family in there.” He inclines his head by way of the cabin. “There’s nothin’ that’s gonna stop me double and triple checkin’ your skills.”
“I don’t do tests.”
“Yet, you’re still taking one.”
That’s it. I’m done with this nonsense. I pivot on my heel to leave. If I don’t go now, I will fight him, bleed him, and enjoy it way too much.
An object bounces off the center of my back.
“Did you just throw something at me?” I grit, glaring over my shoulder, ready to commit murder in the first degree.
“So, what if I did?” he challenges with that same smirk, a sinister glow in his eyes.
“Do you wanna take a trip to Hades tonight?” I threaten, meaning every word.
“You gonna kill me, baby tits?”
Ugh! I hate him. That’s what this is. Hate. I hate he’s so goddamn attractive. Hate his holier-than-thou attitude. Hate him standing there as cool as a cucumber, while I rage inside. My body was promised a death tonight and it’s been foiled. Every part of me itches to follow through, to pound something—with fist or knife, makes no difference.
“I’ll do more than that,” I return, doing my best to stay calm and failing. It’s not often I get riled up, yet he seems to pluck all the right strings. He has a gift for being a pain in my ass.
“Oh yeah, like what?” Kade lifts his chin in an obvious dare. He’s baiting me.
Nope. Not doing it. We’re not having this discussion. He’s having too much fun challenging me. Tempting me to hurt him, and let my temper win. It’s not gonna work. He can try to break me, but I can’t be broken. He doesn’t wield that kind of power.
Ignoring Kade, I return to the cabin without looking back. This woman doesn’t play games. It’ll serve him well to recognize that.
Using the sill as leverage, I climb back in through my window. The screen snaps back into its slot easy enough before I drop the pane in place and twist the lock shut.
It’s time to get real sleep. Five hours, if I’m lucky.
Fat chance that’s happening now. Not when I’m too keyed up, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it here.
Stripping down to my underwear and tank top, I throw myself onto the mattress. A hand tucks behind my head as I stare up at the ceiling where I whisper to Johnny, picturing his face in my mind’s eye. Maybe somewhere out there my husband’s listening. Wishing we were together again. I still miss him so much it physically hurts.
“Johnny, I don’t wanna be here. This place isn’t for me. It’s already screwing with my head. What have I gotten myself into?” I whisper aloud.
There’s no response. There never is. Once more, I’m left with a hollow ache in the center of my chest.
“Where there is love, there is pain.”
I’d do best to remember that.
Love is the root of all that hurts in my world.
Falling out of love with your long-dead husband still proves to be the most difficult, and a mothers love never dies. Neither does the misery I must endure day in and day out, no matter how hard I try to bury it deep inside. Being here, with people who embrace love, who show it openly, is going to rip me in two. I just know it.
Big hasn’t sent me on a mission to save a woman’s life. He’s signed me up for a torrent of suffering. And he doesn’t even know it. Nobody does.
Chapter Four
Kade
Beautiful broken bird. I see you. Feel you. Even as you walk away my heart beats faster and faster, cock thickening beneath the zipper of my jeans.
Never in my life did I think a woman could affect me this way.
Not since… her. My mother. The root of all my evil. I was once a broken bird, too. A raven with clipped wings. Until I found what I needed most in the dark, where the scent of blood lingers, and seduction of sex lies. By day, I smile and dance the dance they all assume is me… Kade Knox.
Not her.
She’ll see me. Through me. Understand me.
Blood of ghosts coat her palms as they do mine.
Even now as she escapes, I smile thinking of her lethal beauty, her voice, the way she moves with the grace of a swan even when she doesn’t think I can see.
I grasp my erection and scrape a thumbnail across my covered shaft, aching for… pain. Just a taste to dull the cravings that always linger underneath the surface… to hurt and be hurt. Such is the vicious cycle that claims my soul. What the inner beast desires.
Tracing the outline of Rosie’s face in my mind, my eyes slide closed, head resting against the tree at my back. Tonight, I came to see her. Not only to test the cameras that were installed, but her. Not because I don’t think she can perform her duties. I know she can. I needed to test her with me. How she reacts. How she moves. With everyone else she wears a carefully constructed mask. I recognize it, because I wear one myself. Apart from my brother, Ryker, and my pops, nobody knows or understands that. Until now. Not even my best friend Kat, who I give the best parts of me to. Because she deserves nothing less. Eggplant emoji te
xts, crazy nicknames, and silly antics full of love, is what I give her and my nieces. They’ve been through enough. The darkness that lurks beneath my surface isn’t for people made of rays of sunshine—like them. The darkness is to be shared with those who frolic in its shadows. For those who embrace the night and appreciate its sinful beauty. Like the little broken bird who hopped away from a man who wants to play.
She is mine.
Yet, doesn’t know it.
For I wear a mask much stronger than hers.
But I see her.
The darkness we share simmers in those eyes. It haunts her dreams. Breeds when she’s alone—stagnant. Broken knows broken. And I’m as fucked up as you can find.
Sliding down the tree, ass meeting ground, I spread out my legs, and retrieve a small pocket knife from the inside of my cut. Then I do what I have to. There’s no leaving without release. Not when every second I’m in her presence, screws with my head in ways I’ve never felt before. Fogging my judgment and ability to keep this masterfully constructed mask in place.
Undoing my belt and button, my inner beast licks his lips as I push the toggle of my fly down, opening my jeans. The head of my cock pokes out of the top of my boxers, smearing pre-cum onto my belly button. With little effort, I pop my shaft through the flap in my underwear. The moon illuminates the pearlescent bead of moisture that’s gathered on the tip. I flick the knife open with my thumb, then carefully press the point to the wetness bubbling from the slit. That’s it. A violent shudder of bliss rockets through every wanton cell. I swallow hard to keep from moaning.
Careful not to nick my skin, I drag the body of the blade down my shaft, smearing pre-cum like butter on bread. When I reach the base, I press the stainless tip to my balls, hard. That’s when I feel it. What I need most. Pain. Red-hot, boiling in my veins, pain. Pain that lights me on fire from the inside out. Unable to control it, I groan low in my throat, and grip my dick, squeezing it, feeling it throb beneath my fingertips. Crimson blooms to the surface, dribbling down my nuts as I press in further. Not too hard to do any real damage, but enough to get the job done.
Every time someone sees me scrape a blade up and down my arms without breaking skin, they think it’s a coping mechanism. That I use it to center myself. And I do. It is. Sort of. What I really want at times like that… is this, the acute, toe-curling bite. The ache that radiates where I’ve drawn blood. The heady dose of adrenaline that makes my cock pulse all the harder. It’s sick and twisted, I know. Depraved. And most days I keep a tight leash on the hunger that rarely abates.
Then she came along and ruined everything. Obliterating my normal.
Rosie.
The broken bird with the grace of a swan. A black swan. The most beautiful creature ever to walk the earth. A sprite of a woman who put me on the ground and punished me. I wanted more. She, wanted more.
Now I’m addicted.
To my blades.
To her.
The woman with blood stains on her hands and tits of an angel.
Pressing the small knife deeper than I’ve driven it in months, I moan toward the night sky as tendrils of violet pain lick up my spine. Thighs clenching, I fuck my fist in a blur, greasing my rod with an endless flow of pre-cum. A small shift to the steel and I press my head against the rough bark of the tree, back bowing. I bite my bottom lip, my breath now leaving in sharp pants as sweat beads on my brow. Vision goes blurry.
Needing a little more, my nail scrapes over the sensitive tip. “Fuck,” I rasp into the darkness, feeling Rosie’s presence surround me like a cloak of seduction.
A heavy breath punches from my lungs.
Then, it’s time. The blade’s removed from my sac and tossed onto the forest floor beside me.
A sharp inhale fills my lungs on the next heartbeat, a growl trailing not far behind. Another stroke, and I’m coming… and coming and coming.
“Shit. Fuck. Fu-ck. Fuuuck,” I groan.
Eyes slamming shut, my entire body shudders as thick ropes of jizz fly from my dick, hitting me in the chin and neck, making a mess. But I don’t stop. I can’t. I jack myself harder, nails dragging over flesh as I abuse my shaft in the most hedonistic way, drawing out my climax.
Minutes later, still starved for oxygen, I release my spent cock. It flops to the side, its head resting on my thigh. A gentle breeze passes through, cooling the cum that’s begun to dry on my face. Lifting the hem of my shirt, I wipe the gooey wetness away.
That was an insane fucking orgasm.
To see if I’m done bleeding, I touch my sac that still pleasantly hurts from its abuse. When I draw my fingers back almost clean, I know I can refasten my jeans. I’ll deal with the puncture later, when I can see it. Only twice have I had to stitch my self-inflicted wounds closed. Hopefully, this won’t be number three.
Righting my clothes, then stowing the blade, I stare at my brother’s cabin deep in thought.
Today commences the first of many with my best friend, nieces… and her.
For the wrecked swan will eventually warm up to her sadistic raven… Shall we be lonely nevermore.
Chapter Five
Rosie
Seated on my twin size bed, legs crossed in a pair of black jeans, I read through the incoming texts on my phone. Via group message, Big and Gunz have been giving me updates directly from Ryker. Who, after he slept here last night, went with Kat to take the girls to school, then returned her to spend the day with me. We haven’t spoken much. I’m not sure what to say.
“Sorry your ex left to be with his wife?”
“Sucks you’re stuck in Texas. I hate being here, too. I’d rather go out and kill people instead of sitting on my ass all day.”
“This weather beats Indiana’s, don’t ya think?”
None of those sound right. Wouldn’t you agree? Small talk is awful. What’s worse is the awkwardness that comes along with it. Maybe I can hide in here and do research on my phone for the better part of the day. There’s no time like the present to plan your next job: where I’ll go, who I’ll be hunting, and what crimes they’ve been stirring up in the meantime. The longer I must wait, the more girls are stolen and sold, never to be seen again. I won‘t be able to end human trafficking for good, but the girls I’ve saved, each one I consider a win. A life returned. Something I know Johnny would be proud of. This, sitting here on a bed, fielding texts, I’m not so sure he’d be on board with that. Not when he was a Marine, focused more on the mission than idle time.
Gunz: It’s confirmed. Vanessa’s taken money from that fuckin’ club for information. Ryker will send me the details when he can.
Me: If it’s not important, I don’t need to know.
Big: You’re a detail whore.
Glaring at the screen, I shake my head. Big’s got me and his sergeant at arms mixed up.
Me: No. That’s Gunz. I just want this to be over with ASAP. I’ve got places to go. People to kill.
Big: Women to save.
Me: That too. How’s Janie? Have you heard from Whisky or Bonez about her?
Gunz: Bonez said she’s skittish. That they’re keeping her away from the others for the time being.
Me: Why?
Gunz: I think her new found freedom is sinking in. She’s not handling it well.
Ugh.
Why do I ask these questions when I know I shouldn’t? It’s none of my business. She’s safe now. Away from those monsters. I did my duty. Anything else she must deal with is not on me. But she’s the first pregnant girl I’ve saved. I can’t seem to get that off my mind. Between the rival club, Janie, Katrina, missing my real job, and… Kade, my brain’s a whirlwind of clashing emotions… and I don’t like it one damn bit.
There’s a knock at my door.
“Yes?” I look up from my phone to the slab of wood separating me from the person beyond it.
Kat clears her throat. “Sorry to bother you, but is there any way you can take me to the grocery store today before the girls get home from school? There’s
barely anything in the fridge.”
Fuck.
Expelling a frustrated breath, I thrust both sets of fingers through my short hair, palm grazing the raised scar on the side of my scalp.
Leaving means more exposure, which puts a bigger target on Kat’s head. If they want her dead, coming on our turf is one thing. In town, a place I know little about, they’ve got the upper hand. I don’t like losing the advantage.
Then there’s that whole… real life crap. The stuff I haven‘t dealt with since Johnny passed.
Another sigh slips free.
Fine.
We gotta eat, right?
It’s not like I have a choice. Food is food.
Regardless of my feelings, I try my best to keep my tone neutral. It’s not her fault we’re in this predicament. We can blame that on the men in her life. “Let me see what I can do.”
“Thanks.” Footsteps retreat outside my bedroom door as I bring up Bongo’s name on my cell. If anyone knows the lay of the land in Red Fort on an intimate level, it’s him. If I need specs, he’s the one to ask. ‘Cause I’ll be damned if I drive her anywhere with no escape route in place should the proverbial shit hit the fan. I might not be great at this private bodyguard stuff, but I’m smart. There’s no way I’ll ever let Kat get hurt on my watch. Not if I can help it.
Me: Gotta take Ghost’s daughter to the grocery store. Tell me everything you know. I can’t go in unprepared.
Bongo: I’ve got you covered.
Thank God.
Chapter Six
Rosie
Hands perched on the steering wheel at ten and two, I watch for anything out of the ordinary as I drive a chatty Katrina to town for groceries. She hasn’t stopped yakking my ear off since we got in the Suburban, and I insisted on driving. I don’t think Kat knows what to say, so she’s taken it upon herself to mention a bit of everything. My guess is she’s gauging my reactions to see what I might be interested in without coming out and asking. I’d prefer no talking. Unfortunately, we can’t always get what we want.
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