‘I loved that series and Nate used to watch it with me when he was at home.’
‘Did he?’
‘He did a great impression of Chandler.’
‘I’ll have to ask him to do it for me.’
‘It made me laugh many a time.’
They walked back to the car, then Zoe drove them up to the farm where she parked in the yard. She liked Paula already; she had the same amenable personality as Nate, and Zoe’s heart went out to her because of the predicament she was in. Everyone had their troubles and everyone had mountains to climb, but surely it was easier to do if you had friends and loved ones at your side offering their support?
* * *
‘Gosh, they’re so fast!’ Paula said.
‘I know! And the best thing about it is that they’re running for the sheer pleasure of it.’
Zoe smiled as they walked across one of the fields at Foxglove Farm, watching three of the rescue greyhounds racing around together. The dogs occasionally stopped to sniff at the grass or one another, then off they’d go again, tongues hanging out, legs moving impossibly quickly as they careened around the field.
A magpie cawed irritably from high in a tree, clearly displeased that his peace had been disturbed, and the calls of sheep in a nearby field drifted on the fresh sea breeze.
When they reached the far end of the field, Zoe noticed that Paula was short of breath.
‘Paula? Are you all right?’
The older woman put a hand to her chest. Her cheeks were ruddy and her eyes glistened.
‘Yes, sweetheart… I’m fine, just not as fit as I used to be. With everything going on I’ve been a bit under the weather, I suppose. I haven’t been eating well and that affects my energy levels.’
‘It’s bound to.’ Zoe rubbed Paula’s shoulder. ‘Do you want to take a break? We could sit for a while.’
‘I think I’ll be all right if we walk a bit slower. If that’s okay?’
‘Of course it is.’
They turned back and began walking, although Zoe kept glancing at Paula, keen to check that she wasn’t struggling.
‘Tell me about you, Zoe. Distract me with your life story.’
Zoe swallowed a sigh. She didn’t want to lie to Nate’s mother but neither did she want to tell her the gory truth.
‘There’s not much to tell really. I grew up in Devon, my parents were older having me and quite strict. I had a good childhood… at least in comparison with some others. I rebelled a bit as a teen and disappointed them, so we drifted apart.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. I thought you’d have parents who adored you. I can’t understand why they wouldn’t.’
‘Thanks. But, hey, you know… families, right?’
Paula nodded.
‘They weren’t bad people but I think what they wanted in a child and what they got turned out to be very different things. Apparently, I was more like my paternal grandmother. I never knew her but she was rather rebellious for her time.’ Zoe gave a small laugh as she thought of the times her parents had muttered that she was just like her grandmother. ‘She left her husband and son and ran off with an American chef. Her name was synonymous with trouble and whimsy, so naturally my parents likened me to her. Not that I would do something like that.’
‘Well, it’s sad that she left her family but we never know what’s going on behind closed doors.’
‘No, we don’t. My grandfather was very strict with my father and that rubbed off on him and how he parented. He did marry again but his new wife was quite a bit younger and not ready to be a stepmother, so my father left home at a young age and set up his own antiques business.’
‘Another entrepreneur.’
‘Sorry?’
‘Well, you’re a business woman.’
‘Yes. Thanks to my parents. See… they left me money in trust and when I turned thirty I was able to use the money to buy the diner.’
‘Thirty?’
Zoe met Paula’s eyes and saw the surprise there.
‘Yes. They were worried my husband… my ex-husband, would squander it away. I think they suspected that he’d cheat on me, and they guessed right.’
‘He must be an idiot.’
Zoe shrugged. ‘I guess so.’
‘Hey, don’t doubt how lovely you are.’
‘Ha! Thanks.’
‘Seriously, Zoe. You’re like a little doll with your silky brown hair and those doe-brown eyes. You’re beautiful.’ Paula stopped walking. ‘And you have an inner beauty that radiates from you.’
Zoe’s cheeks burned. She wasn’t used to being complimented on her appearance, although Nate had said nice things to her. Having Paula telling her that she was beautiful too made her feel strange.
‘Don’t be embarrassed. You know, Zoe, one of the things that makes you even more beautiful is that you don’t know how lovely you are. Nate thinks a lot of you, I can tell.’
Zoe took a deep breath and willed her colour to fade.
‘Look at Monica!’ Paula chuckled as they watched the greyhound stalking something in the long grass. Her ears were pointed and she took slow steps as she kept her gaze fixed on whatever it was that she’d found. Suddenly, she gave chase and a fawn-coloured rabbit shot out of the grass and bolted towards the hedgerow. It got there just in time and disappeared into the undergrowth.
‘Monica! Come here!’ Zoe waved the bag of chopped sausage she had brought to help with the dogs’ recall and Monica came bounding back.
‘Could I give her some?’ Paula asked.
‘Of course. Try to get her to sit if you can.’
Paula held a piece of sausage out and told Monica to sit. The dog looked at the sausage, then at Zoe, then at Paula, before deciding to sit.
‘Here you go, Monica, you darling.’ Paula fed the dog then stroked her chin. ‘Such a good girl.’
Zoe called the other two dogs over and they went through some basic commands to help with their training, then the dogs raced off for one more circuit of the field before they went back to the sanctuary.
‘Zoe, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how did you get that scar?’
Zoe’s hand instinctively went to her forehead and her fingers stroked the bumpy skin. She grimaced.
‘Forgive me, darling, you don’t need to tell me. It’s none of my business.’
‘No, it’s okay. I uh… I usually keep it hidden behind my fringe but the wind doesn’t consider my feelings.’ She laughed. ‘I used to surf.’
‘You did? Nate is a keen surfer.’
‘I know. But I don’t surf any more.’
‘You don’t?’
‘This…’ Zoe patted her head. ‘Put an end to my days in the water. I was hit by a board, it knocked me right under and I almost drowned. I had to be dragged from the water. To be honest, I wasn’t ever that keen on it all anyway, but I did it to fit in with my ex-husband and his lifestyle. I guess I’ve always believed that it was nature’s way of telling me that you shouldn’t try to do what doesn’t come naturally. I am not cut out for surfing, or for dating surfers.’ She smiled but as she met Paula’s gaze, the disappointment on Paula’s face tore the smile from her lips. ‘Oh… I wasn’t saying that I’d never consider dating someone who surfs… uh… you know, I mean…’ She sighed and shook her head.
‘It’s okay, Zoe, I think I know what you’re trying to say. Sometimes we need to look past what has hurt us and to embrace what’s right in front of us. If you find someone you share a connection with, then you’ll find a way around any obstacles. You can’t just shut someone out because of what an ex did to you.’
Zoe sighed. ‘I know that. And when I think rationally about it all, I see the sense in your words. I’ve thought the exact same thing a hundred times and more. But when I wake from one of my nightmares, tangled in the sheets and with my heart thundering, I feel that primal fear again. The one that grips me and makes me want to hide under the bed and close my eyes.’
‘I know, love. I get that t
oo.’
‘Oh!’ Zoe pointed at Monica, who had come to Paula’s side and was now leaning against her leg. ‘She likes you. That’s what they do when they trust someone; they lean against you.’
Paula looked down at Monica and stroked her gently. ‘And I like you too, Monica. What say I come back and see you tomorrow?’
‘It’s the Surf for Sighthounds event tomorrow, so she’ll be down at the cove, I expect.’
‘Lovely! Well, Monica, I’ll come and see you every day while I’m in Conwenna. How does that sound?’
The dog’s tail wagged in big arcs and she licked Paula’s hand.
‘Such a sweetie.’
‘Nate likes her a lot, too. He said he’d adopt her if he wasn’t going away.’
‘Did he now?’
Zoe nodded.
‘You know, Zoe, I understand that you’ve been hurt and that you’re scared, but my son is a very good man. I know he would never hurt you.’
‘Paula… it hasn’t gone that far between us. We’re friends and we…’ Zoe swallowed as she thought about how appropriate it would be to tell Nate’s mother that she’d kissed him.
‘You’ve kissed? Possibly more?’
‘No! I mean… yes, we’ve kissed, but that’s it.’
‘Well, that proves it then.’
‘Proves what?’
‘If it wasn’t serious, you’d have spent the night together without worrying. But, because feelings are involved and you’re both scared, you’re taking it slowly.’
Zoe smiled at Paula’s openness. She really liked Nate’s mum and hoped she’d be around for a while yet so she could spend more time with her. Paula’s honesty was refreshing and she was enjoying getting to know her, as well as learning more about Nate.
‘Now, it must be breakfast time, so shall we take the dogs back, then go and get something to eat?’ Paula asked. ‘I’ve suddenly got an appetite and I want to take advantage of it.’
‘I could eat,’ Zoe said.
They linked arms and walked the dogs back to the sanctuary, chatting like old friends and enjoying the sweet morning air.
Chapter 19
‘Morning, darling, how did you sleep?’
Nate sat up on the sofa and rubbed his eyes. He peered at the clock on the wall.
‘Ah… it’s only six-thirty.’ He lay back down then wriggled as he tried to get comfortable. ‘I had quite a good night, although…’ He moved his head from side to side.
‘What is it?’
‘Nothing. I’m fine.’
‘You have a stiff neck, don’t you?’
He smiled at his mum. ‘It’s nothing.’
‘Well, I can’t push you out of your bed long term, Nate.’
‘You’re very welcome, here, Mum.’
‘I know, love and I’m grateful. Uh… this probably sounds a bit strange, possibly impulsive, but… Zoe invited me to stay at her cottage. She said that she has room and would appreciate some company and that she wants to help. We got on very well yesterday and it might be a good plan for us all – get me out from under your feet, even if it’s only for a few days or so.’
‘I see…’
‘What do you think?’
‘Well, as long as you’re both happy with that as an arrangement then it’s up to you. It’s a strange one, but then this is a bit of an unusual situation that we all find ourselves in. Have a think before you do decide anything, though, because you can stay here for as long as you like.’
‘Anyway, I thought I’d better call you as you have a busy day ahead and I thought you’d want to get up early.’
‘A busy day…’ He frowned then ran a hand over his stubble. ‘Shit!’ He sat upright again. ‘Surf for Sighthounds!’
‘Yes, love, it’s Saturday. Time to see all your hard work come to fruition.’
Nate swung his legs over the side of sofa and stood up.
‘You might want to put something on, though, darling.’
Paula was averting her eyes and Nate realized he must have stripped off his clothes in the night. He grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around himself.
‘Sorry, Mum, I’m not used to having someone else in the flat. Well… at least not someone who doesn’t appreciate my penchant for sleeping in my birthday suit.’
‘Now that’s more information that your old mother needs, Nate.’
‘I’m joking! About the appreciation bit anyway. But I do like to sleep without anything restricting me.’
‘You were always the same, love. I’ll make some tea and toast while you dress.’
Nate nodded then made his way to the bathroom. It was strange having his mother around but it was also nice. He liked knowing that he’d see her each day and that she’d be there for a chat or a cuppa.
Yesterday, she’d returned from her time at the greyhound sanctuary full of stories about Zoe and Monica and what a lovely time they’d had. He’d waited, expecting her to try to push him to admit that Zoe was adorable, but she hadn’t. It was as if she’d either decided that Zoe wasn’t a good match for him or she’d made up her mind to let things take their natural course. Nate shook his head. He had a busy day ahead and thinking about Zoe and how much he liked her would be counterproductive, so he needed to put thoughts of her to one side for the day and to focus on ensuring that the event ran smoothly.
Fifteen minutes later, Nate had eaten the three pieces of toast and two boiled eggs that his mother had made for him.
‘I feel like a little boy again.’
Paula smiled at him.
‘I like spoiling you. You might be six foot and have many female admirers, but you’ll always be my little boy.’
Nate laughed. ‘Okay, but don’t tell anyone.’
‘My lips are sealed.’
‘I’m glad you had a good time yesterday at the sanctuary.’ He thought he’d try to get her to talk about Zoe, just to see if she’d found anything out.
‘Yes! I had such a wonderful time exercising the dogs and I helped out with some of the chores around the sanctuary while Zoe headed down to the diner. After that, I had tea and cake with the farmer’s wife, Elena, and Mary Millar… the lady who owns the cottages up on the hill?’
‘I know Mary.’ Nate nodded.
‘They’re characters those two, especially Mary. She told me all about her niece Eve and how she got together with her tenant Jack and how happy they’ve been. It was so romantic!’
‘So you had a good old gossip, Mum.’ He raised an eyebrow.
‘Not at all, just a good old natter. There’s a difference, darling. Not a negative word was uttered. Mary also told me about Oli and Grace and how happy she was for them. Poor Oli went through such a hard time after losing his wife but then Grace came to Conwenna Cove with her parents and BOOM!’ She clapped her hands together.
‘I know all about it, Mum. I was here, remember.’
‘I know, darling, but it’s all so romantic. All we need now is for you and Zoe to admit your feelings and—’
‘Mum! You have to stop this.’ He sighed and put his mug down.
‘But why?’
‘I don’t know if Zoe has feelings for me and it’s all so complicated. One day, I’m on a high thinking we have a chance and the next, I’m doubting that she wants me at all. And it’s not just her blowing hot and cold… it’s me and my own confused feelings. Plus, I don’t want to hurt her when I leave.’
‘But you’ll be back.’
‘Yes… but don’t you think it would be incredibly hard leaving her behind? And what about her? I know she’s been hurt in the past so wouldn’t she be worried that I’d be around other women and that she could get hurt again. If I wasn’t going away then it would be different, but this is the way it is.’
‘You don’t have to go.’
Nate ran his hands through his hair then entwined his fingers behind his head. ‘That’s true, but if I don’t go, I could end up resenting Zoe because I didn’t.’
‘Do you think you would? Tha
t doesn’t sound at all like the Nate I know.’
‘No, I don’t. But I don’t want to take that chance. I’ve always wanted to travel, or believed I did up to this point, and the time is right. I may not get the opportunity again. I don’t want to be one of those people who regret things when they get older. I don’t want to be sitting in some nursing home thinking about what I wish I’d done. And I don’t want to die like Dad, young and sad because I never did what I wanted.’ He started as the words left his mouth and he looked at his mum.
Her eyes had widened and her mouth gaped. ‘What?’
‘Mum… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.’
‘No. No, you did. You wouldn’t have said it otherwise. What is it? Your father had regrets?’
Nate’s heart pounded as he took in his mother’s shock and he wished he could take the words back, but they’d been on his mind for a long time and now they’d been vocalized.
‘I don’t know for sure, but I think there were some things he wanted to do.’
Paula got up and went to the sink and placed her mug in it then turned around and leant against the unit. ‘What did he want to do, Nate? He never said anything to me.’
‘Or me. But not long after I came here, I was talking to Uncle Kevin about Dad. We were at the pub and we’d had a few beers. He said that growing up, Dad was very adventurous and a total daredevil. Apparently, Dad always talked about swimming the Channel and even swimming competitively but he never did. Then there were the maps and pictures in his study… I just got the impression that he’d have liked to see more of the world.’
‘I wouldn’t have stopped him… with any of that.’
‘I know that and I bet he knew it, too. But you know what he was like.’
‘He had such a sense of responsibility.’
‘For you and me, and for paying the bills and making sure that everyone else was all right.’
‘He was a good man. I hate to think that he didn’t do what he wanted to.’
Nate got up and went to his mum and hugged her.
‘He did in that he married you and he loved you and he was happy, but I think that he’d have liked to do a few more things with his time.’
Forever at Conwenna Cove Page 17