by Auryn Hadley
"I don't suppose you would." The maid stepped back and made room for Leyli to rise. When the Princess moved to the center of her room, Fiona began helping her out of the formal dress. "I hear Lenlochlien is handsome and kind. Maybe that's where the Secor got it?"
"Tristan?" Leyli asked. "You think he's kind?"
"To you. Lady Sina said Rochdale is nearly bankrupt, but otherwise decent enough. She said to be wary of Moyloch, though. He's handsome and charming, but brutal." She dropped her voice. "Lady Adelina is betrothed to him, but wants to call it off. Said he slapped her for having an opinion!"
"Doesn't Moyloch have a brood?"
Fiona nodded. "Yes, Highness. I was referring to the older one, Einri. Now, Lady Gessica of Sanlien says that her brother might be of interest. He's only eighteen, though."
This time, Leyli was the one who giggled. "I hear they're more enthusiastic about the wedding duties at that age."
Fiona blushed. "I wouldn't know, Highness."
"I'm sure none of us do." She shrugged off the dress and let her maid help her into the sheer night clothes. "I just wish I could marry a man because he pleased me, not because of his title."
"Did you have one in mind?" Fiona's question was a little too innocent.
Leyli sighed, reaching for her robe. "No. I just remember all those stories my nurse read to me of princesses falling in love and living happily ever after. I grew up thinking they were silly, but now?"
"Now it sounds like a myth," Fiona agreed. "Did you need me for anything else?"
"No. Go, get some sleep. Thanks for listening. Good night, Fiona."
"Good night, Highness."
She left the chamber, closing the door behind her, but Leyli didn't move until the one in the far room clicked as well. A split second later, Tristan's opened. He stepped in with a strange look on his face.
"I should probably learn not to eavesdrop."
Leyli moved to the bed, pulling down the covers to crawl in. "I was just feeling out her loyalties. All of that is typical conversation for most women, you know."
"Yeah." He turned down the lantern then moved to the edge and sat, but didn't try to lay beside her. "Ley, how much of it's true?"
"I suppose all of it is, from one perspective." She scooted higher, so her back was against her pillows. "Why?"
He twisted, leaning across her body to press his hand into the mattress on the far side. "Is that why Theodian's here?"
"No. He's here because I need to find a way to change the games." A little smile played at her lips. "Jealous?"
He didn't look jealous. He looked like he was trying to read her mind. "Worried. Is there something I should know about? Maybe something between you and Plague?"
"And if there was?"
His eyes dropped to the lace blanket and he picked at it with his free hand. "I'd ask if it was consensual." He took a deep breath. "And if you said no, I'd kill him."
"Tristan - "
He wouldn't let her finish. "No, Ley, listen to me." His eyes flicked up, hitting hers. "I don't have the right to tell you who to give your attention to. I can't stop it, and I wouldn't do that to you, but if any man tries to take it from you..."
She grabbed his wrist. "Plague made sure they couldn't. He said we'd be safer watching each other's backs because he was tired of them forcing him, and he didn't want me to be next."
"Did they?"
"No," she promised. "Theodian let me carry weapons in the compound. I had free access to everything. I was almost as safe with his team as I am at home. Maybe more. I made sure they stopped raping my friend."
Tristan's eyes slowly slipped closed and he nodded. "I just hate that I wasn't there."
"And I can take care of myself." She leaned forward, cupping the side of his face. "You taught me how to fight back. You don't have to be worried all the time."
"You don't always have a weapon," he reminded her.
She let her fingers caress the stubble on his cheek. "I killed a few men with my bare hands. Some more with a shield. I need you here to help me, not pretend like you own me." She lifted his chin, making him look right at her. "Tristan, what's going on?"
"I'm just trying to learn how to play this game." He leaned into her touch, letting his eyes close. "And I'm not very good at it."
"Which game?" she asked softly.
He caught her wrist, pulling back to kiss her palm gently. "The one where I'm supposed to be just a friend."
"You're not."
"I still can't cross that line." He kissed the ends of her fingers. "You deserve a happily ever after. You deserve to fall in love and be giddy. You deserve to marry a man who can give you everything."
She didn't try to pull away. "Those were just stories from my childhood. They're myths. I mean, do men even fall in love?"
For a moment he said nothing. When his answer came, it sounded almost tortured. "Yes. We fall in love and try to ignore it. We fall so hard it damned near hurts, then pretend like it's nothing. Yeah, Leyli. Men fall in love and dream of happy endings, too."
His words made her heart beat harder. The feel of her hand in his made her breath catch. "Nobles aren't supposed to," she whispered.
He guided her fingers to his chest, pressing them to his skin. "Wolves aren't nobles."
"How do I know? My father didn't love my mother. None of my family has ever married for love. I'm not sure I know what it is."
"It's when you can't stop thinking about her. Everything she does is perfect and amazing, and she's so beautiful doing it. Seeing her smile feels like it makes the world keep turning, and her tears rip you apart from the inside. Knowing that she's ever been hurt is a wound that just won't heal. Love is when you're sure that someone else's life matters so much more than your own, and their happiness is your only goal in life."
It sounded exactly like how she felt. "Even if it's a secret?"
"Even if you can't admit it to the person you love because you're trying so damned hard to ignore it. Yeah, Ley. It's still love, it just hurts more when it's not returned."
She shifted her hand, sliding her fingers between his. "What if he couldn't admit it either?"
"I don't know. I'm thinking that would be a game they'd have to learn how to play together." He leaned closer. "Although a man might feel a bit better if he knew he wasn't the only one trying so hard to ignore it."
She met him halfway, clutching the back of his head. "It's hard to ignore." She pressed closer, but Tristan leaned back, keeping his mouth an inch out of reach.
"Yeah, it is. Damn, Ley. Why did you have to be a fucking princess?"
"Why couldn't you have been a lord?"
She could feel his lips curl. "Are you really playing this with me?"
"Yeah." Her fingers twined deeper into the hair at the back of his neck. "Yeah, we're chained together against the world, even if no one else can see the bonds. I'm also not very good at ignoring it."
"Me, either." He changed direction, crashing his mouth into hers, and she met him.
As her tongue slipped through his teeth, she heard a moan deep in his throat before he pressed her back. His body pinned her down, holding her against the thick pillows and his hands claimed hers. While their mouths dueled, he held her captive, drinking in all of her panting sighs until his lips moved lower, tasting the skin of her jaw.
"Tristan," she gasped, hoping he'd keep going.
He sucked at her neck, under her chin, then across to nibble beside her ear. The sound of his breath was as heady as her own, making her writhe. Leyli tried to reach for him, but the Lion was too strong. She was completely at his mercy and begging for so much more.
"Ley." He kissed the edge of her ear. "This is not ignoring it."
She turned to see his face. "Don't stop."
His mouth curled up. "Pup, I haven't started, and I'm not going to. You deserve a hell of a lot more than some man throwing you in bed and fucking you until you scream."
"Better than laying here and praying for conception."
His mouth opened, but nothing came out. Then it closed. From the look on his face, she knew she'd just said the wrong thing.
"I can't do this, Ley." With a groan, he leaned back, releasing her. "You can't either. Tomorrow, you speak to your suitors, and I'm not on that list."
"Damn it," she snarled, sitting up. "You can't kiss me like that and expect me to just forget!"
"Shh." He reminded her there were guards just outside her sitting room door. "Leyli, I certainly do not want you to forget. I also don't want to be the sad fool pining away over the woman so far out of his reach. That's why we're ignoring this."
"I don't want to." She could hear the whine in her own voice.
"Me either," he assured her. "Pup, I swear, I will not be very sympathetic to your husband. The problem is that I already want to kill him, and you haven't even decided who he'll be. We can't do this."
"No one needs to know."
Laying down beside her, he pressed his hand over her hair, caressing the back of her head. "Remember what your father said? I could destroy your entire reign. I could be your downfall. Don't make me suffer for that, Ley. Just play this game with me, and let's pretend that we're still just friends. Just be my Wolf, and let me dream of what it would be like if things were different."
She pulled the blankets across him, then scooted closer. "I don't want to be a princess."
"Mm." He tugged her closer, wrapping his arms around her. "I kinda wish I was a lord. My offer wouldn't be very good, but you'd take it anyway."
"I would." She reached up to play with the hair at the back of his neck. "And you wouldn't have any interest in whoring, even after we got married."
"Definitely not." He kissed the top of her head. "But you'd have a whole brood of kids. A damned litter of them. We'd go broke trying to buy them toys."
"And not have to worry about being sold for the debt," she mumbled, feeling sleep trying to grab her.
Tristan made a pleased noise. "Exactly. That's why you have to stay the Heir, so in our next life, our kids will never be sold as gladiators."
"Our kids?" She pulled her eyes open, trying to see him in the darkness.
Across her back, his arms tensed, hugging her to his chest. "Yeah. I swear, Ley. I'll do whatever the gods demand so we can be together in our next life."
"I'm just glad I found you in this one." She pressed a kiss to his chest. "It's so much better than being alone."
He chuckled. "Maybe for you, kid. I'm the one with some aching balls."
"You're also the one who stopped."
"Yeah."
That seemed to be all he had left to say. Leyli closed her eyes and relaxed, letting her breathing slow. Just as she felt sleep calling her into oblivion, she heard him again. "I'll never do anything to hurt you, pup. I just want to make sure you can be happy, even if that means I'm not. I couldn't live if you weren't happy."
Too scared to say it out loud, all she could think was, I love you too, Tristan. I always will.
Chapter 12
Sometime in the middle of the night, Tristan returned to his bed, knowing her maid would come in without much warning. As soon as he left, Leyli slept fitfully. Every noise made her jump awake, every sound in the halls prevented her from falling into a real sleep. Twice she thought about crawling into Tristan's bed, but feared the scandal that would cause. She'd be meeting the men interested in marrying her just after lunch; the last thing she needed was to spend the time explaining her relationship with her Secor. She wasn't even sure she could.
The sun was just starting to brighten the room when the door to her sitting room opened. With a heavy sigh, Leyli gave up the pretense of sleep and rubbed at her face. A second later, the girl's scream pierced the air.
Rolling from the bed, she grabbed her sword. Before she reached the door, Tristan was there, rushing into the other room. Their eyes met for a moment, but neither stopped moving. The Lion burst through the door first, Leyli on his heels, both of their weapons raised, but there was nothing to defend against. Fiona was still screaming, and guards were pushing in behind her. Leyli paused, looking at her histrionic maid. She was just a little too disturbed to be believable.
"Someone shut her up!" Leyli yelled, moving to see what caused her fright.
A wolf or dog pup had been savaged, bent, and twisted, then placed on her breakfast table beside the tray. The poor thing was long dead, but around its neck was a toy crown. With a sigh, she moved closer and lifted the tail. It was female. The message was clear.
"Temotio, please get my father?"
"Yes, Highness," he said softly, moving backwards toward the door.
Tristan stepped behind her, dropping his hand on her shoulder. "You ok?"
She nodded. "I'm angry, Tristan. If someone thinks this will scare me into abdicating, he's very wrong."
"Are you sure it's a man?" Fiona gasped.
Leyli gestured to the puppy's body. "There's no rope burns or tool marks. That means someone broke the thing's body with their hands. I couldn't do it."
"I could," Tristan said. "And that does look like a wolf, not a dog. How common are they around here?"
The King walked in, the guards moving aside to give him space. "Common enough," he said, obviously hearing Tristan's question. "How did it get in here?"
Leyli looked at Tristan. "I couldn't sleep, kept thinking I heard something."
He nodded. "You probably did, but your room buffers the sound from mine." He rubbed at his jaw. "Ley, you need to postpone the meeting today."
"No." She looked between the men. "I'm not backing down. Unless you want to change your mind about your heir, Dad."
He shook his head. "No, I would rather not, but I'm also not willing to risk you."
"Naming me put a target on my head." She took a deep breath. "Tristan and Temotio will be with me. Set the other men around the doors, fully armed for the rest of the day." She looked over to Tristan. "And no, I'm not wearing weapons, because I don't need to. I'm not going to be scared of my own home. Am I clear?"
Tristan nodded. "Temotio? Make sure all the Princess's men have a short sword, worn in reverse, so she can reach it. Dagger on the opposite hip, at the back."
Leyli looked at Fiona. Anything she told the idiot would go right back to her cousin. "I need you to start packing for three weeks. I will need only two gowns, riding clothing, and country clothes."
"Yes, Highness."
Then Leyli turned to her father. "I will be making a trip. I need to finish going through Theodian's records, then plan to have a little vacation. Can you arrange to have the blacks hitched to a fodder cart and my bays with the carriage. Include the buckskin and my chestnut with the riding horses. Alain should have plenty of time to prepare. We'll take my guards, the Secor, a driver for the carriage, and whoever Alain assigns to the blacks. No one else."
"And your marriage?" Ilario asked.
"I want to have some silence to make that decision. I think fulfilling my promise to the Lion will give me the peace that the court does not."
He nodded slowly, looking at Tristan. "Can you take care of her?"
"Yes, sir, I can. By the time we reach Lenlochlien, I should ride well enough. Otherwise, Temotio can, and your daughter has proven that riding does not make her any less deadly."
"Stay at her side, Tristan." Ilario grabbed his shoulder. "Constantly. Awake or asleep, the Princess will have a guard beside her, am I clear?"
"Perfectly, Majesty."
The three of them stood in silence a moment, letting the excitement go. Finally, the King gestured to the dead puppy. "Someone clean that up. Set up her breakfast in the Lion's rooms." Then he looked at his daughter. "And get dressed, Leyli."
She grinned. "Unless you want me to strip from my night clothes before both my guard and yours, I thought it would be best to let the room clear."
He chuckled, gesturing to her maid. "Arrange their breakfast. Heir's guard into Tristan's rooms, mine into the hall. Tristan, get her decent."
Fiona gasped. "Majesty! But - "
Ilario lifted a hand, stalling her protest. "His duty is to her and her body, dressed or otherwise. His position prevents any disgrace from the interactions. Pretend he's a eunuch if that makes you feel better. I trust the man, and anyone who complains about it can answer to the Lion."
Tristan chuckled, a smug look on his face. "Thank you for the trust, Ilario. Ley, let's find you a dress."
"The gold," she said, leading him back to her rooms. "And close the doors for me?"
He did while she pulled out the gown and appropriate undergarments. Leyli waited a moment, listening to her room clear out, then pulled off the night dress. When she stepped into the corset, Tristan moved behind her.
"How tight?" he asked.
"Not very. Just enough to keep my breasts up."
He leaned closer to her ear, his hands working at the laces. "Then you could have left it off."
"You think my future husband would like that?"
He grumbled softly. "Can we lace them flat?"
"Not if you want me to breathe. Wait, go back up and give a bit more." He found the spot, pulled slowly until she nodded. "Ok," she said. Leave the rest just snug enough so it doesn't slip?"
His hands were deft, the corset laces being similar to much of the armor they'd worn. It took Tristan less time to get her comfortable than it did Fiona. When he reached the end, he tied it off, then helped her into the dress, turning his attention to the dozens of small buttons.
"I like this one," he said, letting his hands slide over her waist, "but can you fight in it?"
She nodded. "I can. Did you see the front?"
"Nope. Lemme finish this." He worked a bit faster then stepped around. His eyes moved across her body. "I changed my mind. You need a different dress."
Gold silk with ivory trim, the cloth hugged her torso and flared around her legs. She'd made alterations to the skirt so she could easily hike it up without exposing more than she needed to, yet with enough room to move. It was the neckline that Tristan's eyes hung on. Low and plunging, her breasts swelled over the edge, the wood necklace laying just above it.